The Pink Heist

by Adam El Shalakany

  "I'm not gonna open my eyes, boss."

  VII opened her eyes and found Mr. Qruise dashing towards the far stairwell, arms up and screaming. She then heard the bounty hunters at the bottom of the wall as they began firing. The familiar ping pings of the bullets echoed off the rampart.

  VII quickly caught up with and passed Mr. Qruise, limp and all.

  Freedman, Mancy and Captain Pippy struggled after them. When they reached the far stairwell they found the two cowards huddled in the corner of the sheltered buttress. There was no staircase in sight.

  "Boss, I don't see a stairwell." VII searched every corner of the buttress, even looking at the roof. There was no staircase. "There's no stairwell, is there?"

  "That's because this is just the first stop, VII. No way you would have run if you knew that. The stairwell is really all the way over there." Mancy pointed to another buttress another five minutes run across the rampart. "Now let's go. We don't want to give them time to know we're still up here. Come on." She looked over the wall at the bounty hunters. They'd all lined up at the wall trying to find a foothold in the smooth sheer surface. Others ran from their parked ships carrying longer catch-lines. She pushed VII and Mr. Qruise towards the second stairwell.

  "I'm not taking another step. Mancy. I don't want to die." Mr. Qruise put his foot down, literally.

  "Then we'll leave you and you'll die, Mr. Qruise. The same for you, VII. You can go back or you can come forward. It's the same distance either way. The only difference is they they've probably breached the door by now and you'll be running back to them. Enough coddling boys and girls. Come with me or die." Mancy ran towards the far stairwell.

  Mr. Qruise called Mancy something but she couldn't hear over the sound of them running, the gunfire and VII's screams.

  Loveless stood outside the first gate to the base. Bonebreaker held a small battering ram in his hands and smashed it repeatedly against the gate. The dark carbon material wasn't even dented.

  Loveless sighed. Skyburner had run back to the parked Curacao to retrieve a longer catchline. The one Loveless carried wouldn't reach the top of the wall.

  Other bounty hunters of all shapes and sizes scurried between the walls and their ships trying to find something that would grant them access to the base.

  Loveless looked up suddenly to the ramparts of the wall, she could have sworn she'd seen something pink moving about on top.

  She paused and focused on a small buttress coming out of the ramparts. Pink hair bobbed up and down from above running across the wall.

  "They're there. They're on top of the walls." Loveless shouted as she took aim and fired. The other bounty hunters dropped what they were doing and fired as well.

  "I don't know what to do, Jack."

  "Drink tea with me, Zenbot. Drink tea with me and all will be well. Forget about'em." Jack nodded towards the end of the corridor.

  "I can't. Two of them are my pupils. I'm fond of the Captain as well."

  "But not Mancy?"

  "Mancy's a brute. But there is something to her too. I must admit."

  "So you'll fight me in the end?"

  "I believe so. Can we finish the tea?"

  "Of course. Of course. You may as well have one of these then." Jack threw Zenbot one of the swords.

  "Thank you, Jack." Zenbot held the sword in its hand feeling the weight. It removed a part of the sword from the sheath, the bright red light of a laser saber reflected off of Zenbot's face.

  "It's only fair. The pot's empty." Jack tapped at the empty teapot with his sword. "We can't delay this much longer." Jack downed his cup of tea and stood up and walked a few paces away from Zenbot. He turned around and entered a battle stance. His left foot forward, hip tilted and his left hand on the sword sheathed on his left. His thumb rested lightly on the hilt, ready to unsheathe the sword and kill his former pupil.

  Zenbot likewise walked a few paces down the other side of the corridor and mirrored Jack's battle stance.

  Jack closed his eyes. The duel of the two masters played out in his imagination. Every possible combination of moves, attacks, counterattacks and guards, all of them unfolded in his mind's eye. Zenbot would wait for him to attack, cool and collected as usual. It would expect Jack to be his usual aggressive self, swiping wildly at Zenbot. Opening himself up for attack. But Jack would stand idly by, goading his former pupil into action.

  They would stand face to face for five minutes, the wind whistling through the corridor. Then and only then would his former student finally attack. It knew Jack favored his left side. Zenbot had seen Jack training too often. It would attack Jack's right side instead. Jack would let it, then at the last moment he'd side step, strike and be done. No more Zenbot. Mission accomplished.

  Jack opened his eyes, the plan of attack formulated.

  He found only an empty corridor and the dust kicked up by Zenbot's escape.

  The crew, save for Zenbot, were in front of the second gate. They'd finally reached the promised stairwell. After that they descended the staircase and reached an exposed square in front of the second gate. VII walked over to the gate and opened up the control panel. She moved the various smart drives around, small thin plastic sheathes, before placing her own drive inside.

  "Faster VII. Faster VII. Faster, faster, faster." Mr. Qruise tapped his foot behind VII as she worked. He looked behind him. Silhouetted figures moved on the ramparts above them. Bobbing up and down, getting over the wall.

  "I'm going as fast as I can, Qruise. Shut your mouth and let me work."

  "Oh Shens. I can see them. They're over the wall. They're coming from the ramparts. Do you want me to pop us inside? I can probably do that." Mr. Qruise raised both hands, shaking with fear.

  "Don't you dare, Mr. Qruise." Mancy crouched behind a crate. She took a couple of shots at the wall. "We've seen your skills. I'd rather risk probable death at their hands," she fired at the wall again, "than a certain one at yours. Let the woman work her magic. Captain Pippy, Freedman, you're with me. Controlled fire."

  The three of them shot at the ramparts and the escalating bounty hunters.

  A few minutes later VII stood up and dusted her hands. "Alright got it, boss." The gate opened, its black matte door panels sliding back.

  "Just in time. In. In. In." Captain Pippy retreated into the gate, facing the walls and shooting. "Look it's Zenny. Zenny dear's coming to the rescue. She'll take care of those bounty hunters. Wait, what's she doing?"

  Zenbot ran above the ramparts. It leapt above the bounty hunters, kicking and punching its way through. Jack was twenty paces behind, his laser-saber unsheathed and flailing wildly.

  "I'll get ya, ya cowardly bastard. Come and take your lickings."

  Zenbot jumped from the rampart and landed in the square. It fell with a thud and continued running. Jack landed without a sound fifteen paces behind his former pupil. The crew could hear Zenbot shouting over the rattle of gun fire as it approached.

  "Clooooooooooooseeee the doooooooor!"

  Zenbot jumped the last ten paces to the door, Jack a hair's breadth behind it.

  The doors hissed closed between them, closing on Zenbot's left foot. And then it snapped shut, with Zenbot's body on one end and its foot on the other.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The Second Gate

  Wiring, nano-chips and fluid seeped out from below Zenbot's shattered knee cap. "That's got to hurt." Mr. Qruise said.

  "It does hurt quite a bit, Mr. Qruise. Thank you for caring." Zenbot unsheathed the laser-saber in its hand and soldered the leg. The fluid seeping out stopped leaking, giving off a fragrant rosy smoke.

  Captain Pippy and Mancy walked off in front of the group, crouching down and surveying the land, rifles at the ready. They were in a large artificial landscape. Rolling hills and trees extended far into the distance. Above them a bright blue sky hung overhead.

  Freedman checked on Zenbot. "It hurts, master? Do you have pain sensors?"

  "I do, Freedman." Zenbot mas
saged its leg smoothing the chrome exterior from dents. It then ripped off the upper half of its robes and let the rags hang from its hips like a skirt, letting the cool air press against its body. "You can't grow unless you suffer. It's a universal truth."

  "I foresee a lot of growth by the end of this thing." Mr. Qruise was looking out at the rolling hills. The ceiling above them was artificially lit. The sun suspiciously absent from the sky. Mr. Qruise took the rifle in his hand and shot at the ceiling. "Sure enough." He said to the others. "You can see the bullet hole."

  Mancy ran back towards Mr. Qruise and punched him in the face. "You fool. You bloody damn fool. Why would you do that? Why would you make such a racket?" She looked around. "Maybe it hasn't heard. Maybe…maybe we're lucky?"

  A slowing grumbling roar broke out and rolled across the hills. Mr. Qruise rubbed his jaw sheepishly, before asking Freedman. "Aren't you supposed to be lucky?"

  "I guess even my luck can't balance out yours, pal." Freedman helped Zenbot up, worried. He ripped a rag off of Zenbot's rag skirt and wiped away the grease and smoke layered on Zenbot's chrome skin. "Master, will you be able to walk?"

  "I will walk, yes. Running will be a bit more difficult." Zenbot took Mr. Qruise's rifle. "I think this will be of better use with me." It placed the butt of the rifle beneath its shoulder and used it as a crutch. "I am sorry to say Ms. La2x, I doubt I will be able to help if anything serious should happen."

  "Was it the door?" She looked at Zenbot's mangled soldered leg.

  "No, my former teacher and his sword." It looked down at Freedman who was still nursing his master's leg. "You see pupils. I'm a softy in comparison." Mr. Qruise shuddered at the thought.

  "VII, how secure is the gate behind us?" Mancy asked.

  "Same answer, boss, as the last time you asked. Code won't be broken anytime soon, but I can't vouch for the material. That's on you and your family's workmanship. Looks like a powerful laser saber there." She eyed Zenbot's mess of a leg. "Seems Jack might be able to get through." She took out a tweezly stick, chewed off a bit and placed it in her pocket for Algy. The remainder of the stick she chewed on furiously.

  Captain Pippy still at the front, raised a clenched fist. "Shh… y'idjots." Everyone quieted down. "Mancy what's in this place? I can see some dust bein' moved around somethin' fierce in the distance."

  "Well…." Mancy looked down at her pink boots, twisting them nervously. "Well…"

  The events of the last few weeks, and more specifically the past few hours, had rocked Mr. Qruise off balance. He no longer seemed frightened. Instead he emulated Freedman's goofy grin. "When Mancy's bashful it means we're doomed." He laughed.

  Mancy looked up angrily from her boots. "Mr. Qruise, you're the one who's doomed us all. We were supposed to slip past the blasticore before it knew we were here."

  Everyone went silent.

  "A blasticore?" Freedman asked "Shens. Master we gotta go back, Jack and all. Let's get out quickly. Come'on you fools. I've met those things in the Game and I never made it out alive. It's always been a slow painful death, and that's with my luck. The Shens know what deaths are in store for us, especially you Qruise, you unlucky stupid bastard." He struck his forehead with his palm. "Shens, a blasticore."

  "Thanks, Freedman." Mr. Qruise's grin grew even larger. "Can I ask what exactly does a blasticore look like?"

  "You don't know?" Mancy looked back at her feet.

  Mr. Qruise shook his head. "You have a picture?"

  "You can't picture it." VII's tweezly stick twitched in her mouth violently. "That's the point." She said out of the side of her mouth. "It's a five dimensional animal. A hard one to simulate in a Game. Needs a whole lot of power to run. The thing reads your mind, organic or inorganic, don't matter. It reads it and pulls your biggest fear out and it just becomes it."

  Mr. Qruise rubbed his jaw calmly. "When you say becomes it, you mean an illusion like? A party trick."

  Mancy looked Mr. Qruise up and down in a lordly fashion, insulted by the statement. "Mr. Qruise, do you think Daddy would ever get an illusion to protect the vault?"

  "Got it." Mr. Qruise nodded giving her a thumbs up. "It becomes it. So how do we get around the thing, Mancy?"

  "The plan was to sneak by it," Mancy said quietly, "but since you've gone and ruined the ceiling," she looked up to the bullet hole marring the rolling clouds above, "and the plan in one shot, there is another way."

  "You'll have to put your training into practice, Mr. Qruise." Zenbot rested on Mr. Qruise's shoulder, still fiddling with the rifle-crutch, finding the right spot to place the rifle beneath its shoulder. "I knew it would come to good use. It always does, training. We'll have to empty our minds, and once we do we can walk past the blasticore, without a fear in the world."

  "And if some coward can't keep his fears in check, then it won't matter one bit, his fear will eat us, literally." Mancy said looking at Mr. Qruise.

  "You know Mancy," Mr. Qruise chuckled, "I'm getting tired of this crew's opinion of me. You know VII's every bit as much a coward as I am." He pointed accusingly at VII who was shivering uncontrollably. " And she hasn't been getting no mumbo-jumbo training from the best in the galaxy. And Freedman and the rest of you ran just as fast as I did when we met Jack. If I were you I'd be more critical of yourselves and get off my back."

  Zenbot and Mancy looked at VII, the tweezly stick was on the ground. An unspoken message passed between the two. The inorganic placed two fingers behind VII's ear lobe and squeezed. The cryptographer passed out immediately.

  Captain Pippy and Freedman climbed a grassy knoll. The bright sky blue ceiling made it seem as if the sun was high above them, dispersing their shadows everywhere and nowhere.

  "So Freedman, ya lucky son of'a gun. Ya think we'll be able to distract the thing while they carry VII?"

  "I was thinking about that, Captain. I'm a lucky guy, no question about it. No matter what the master says. Now our task, and for me to do good by Zenbot, we'll succeed in distracting that thing. It'd be a mighty lucky thing. Now, distracting the blasticore would mean having it on our tail, which would be a mighty unlucky thing. Do you think luck's a thing which is interested in what I want or what's good for me?"

  "Don't rightly care or know, Freedman. I was just making conversation. Man, y'all talk a lot." She stopped climbing and pointed towards a small patch of trees in the distance. "Alright well, this hill's cleared. That's the ridge over there that Ms. La2x was talking about. She said take a left about it, right?"

  "I think so." Freedman said.

  "Right, Right." Captain Pippy sat down, took off her boots and massaged her feet. "Well hon' I think we're lost. That ain't no ridge ova' there and ya don't remember any of Ms. La2x's directions, do ya? Shens, you've just been 'yes-ing' me for the past hour ain'tchya been ya damn fool? When I ask a question it ain't 'cause I know the answer already."

  "Sorry, Pip…Captain. I'm just used to people asking questions they know the answers to. I can usually get away with a nod."

  "Is that what y've been doing? Getting through life, one dumb nod at a time?"

  Freedman nodded then stopped himself. "Well, yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "That is until I met the master." His eyes grew wide. "Never met nothing like Zenbot. It's electrifying. And you. You're all the first ones to care to get to know me in, Shens know how long. And Qruise. And Mancy. Even VII. You're all really real you know. And it makes me want to be realer."

  "Freedman, shut up and get moving." She put her boots back on. "We'll keep beatin' the bushes for a while. Make sho' the others get to the gate."

  "Empty your mind Qruise. Empty your mind Qruise." Mr. Qruise hummed his mantra to himself as Zenbot and Mancy carried the limp form of VII on their shoulders between them. "No fear. No fear. Empty mind. Empty mind."

  "Zenbot? Can you carry an unconscious VII and Mr. Qruise?" Mancy asked, VII's legs dangling over her shoulders.

  "It might be a bit hard, Ms. La2x, with one leg."

  "Sham
e. Mr. Qruise? How do you feel about chanting to yourself using your inside voice? This being a stealthy push past the monster and all."

  Mr. Qruise stopped walked. "I wish you didn't remind me about… the thing. Now I'm frightened again, Mancy. I'm going to have to start all over. Empty your mind Qruise, empty your mind…."

  Jack stood in front of the second gate, an army of bounty hunters and mercenaries at his back. He held Zenbot's left foot in his hand and patted it on his thigh, thinking.

  "You say you know Ms. La2x and her crew?" He placed Zenbot's foot in his bundle and took out a pouch of shag tobacco. He offered Loveless the pouch once he'd taken a pinch.

  Loveless shook her head, blonde hair flicking to either side. "I was her right hand woman in Woshu, I mean on MO4. I didn't understand what she was up to back then, but I helped her hunt down VII. The bitch shot me. I was working for her and she shot me."

  "Yeah. The La2x family'll do that. Best to remember that." He filled a sheet of rolling paper with the shag, licking the paper and then sealing it. "So what can you tell me about them? You, you there." Jack spoke softly to one of the gang working at the second gate, chipping away at it with their hammers and drills. "Did I tell you to stop?" The hard mercenaries still bore the bruises Zenbot had given them. The large bodied soldiers, angry with wounded prides, were tired but Jack scared the bejesus out of them. They resumed work immediately, hammering away at the door. "I'm sorry. What's your name again?" Jack lit the cigarette, took a drag and closed his eyes enjoying the moment.

  "Loveless. Officer Loveless." Loveless stood at attention in front of Jack. She looked up at the tall barrel chested man, her eyes looked exactly like Freedman's did when looking at Zenbot. "They're a tricky conniving crew Jack. They will stop at nothing to get what they want."

  "That's the La2x way alright." Jack chuckled quietly. "Carry on."

  "Well there was this small oriental lady."