Rush Revere and the First Patriots: Time-Travel Adventures With Exceptional Americans

by Rush Limbaugh

  “Oh, sorry. I’ll let you and the Grinch finish,” Liberty said.

  “As I was saying—” I turned to Elizabeth. “The Grinch, err, I mean, the King definitely punished the Bostonians. When the other colonies heard what the King was doing they were really mad.”

  “No kidding!” said Tommy. “I mean King George really is the Grinch and he ticks me off big-time! I’m surprised the colonists didn’t freak out earlier. Seriously, I’m not a colonist but I don’t have to be to know why they’re so angry! The King doesn’t let them vote! He taxes everything! He sends troops into their homes and harasses them on the streets! His laws are stealing the people’s hard-earned money and causing families to go hungry! And he doesn’t care who he’s hurting! He’s not a king. He’s a tyrant, thief, whiner, jerk, and a bully. Sorry, Elizabeth, but King George is the biggest loser! He’s out of control and he’s got to be stopped!”

  Elizabeth just looked away, nearly expressionless, with her arms folded.

  “Tommy,” I said, “I’m very glad you understand the real issue here. In fact, the colonies have banded together in Philadelphia to fight back. Representatives, called delegates, from each of the colonies except for Georgia have come together here to decide what the colonies should do.”

  “Sweet!” said Tommy with wide eyes. “Is that why we’re here? Is it a secret meeting? Do I know anybody that’s coming? Is there a secret handshake? I wish Cam was here!”

  I chuckled at Tommy’s wild enthusiasm. I nodded. “Tommy, you are about to meet some of the most educated, intelligent, skillful, and courageous men in America. In fact, they are gathered in that redbrick building in front of us.” I pointed to Carpenters’ Hall. “They are attending the First Continental Congress.”

  “Awesome!” said Tommy.

  “Exciting!” said Liberty.

  “Boring!” complained Elizabeth. “I’m tired of you babbling on about the colonists fighting back. I insist that we visit King George this instant! Or else!”

  “What are you going to do?” Tommy asked, smiling. “You don’t have much leverage without your blackmail video.”

  Elizabeth huffed and puffed with exasperation. She finally said, “Just wait until we get back to Manchester Middle School!”

  “Who says we’re bringing you back?” said Liberty. “Seriously, I think she’d be fine as a colonist. I survived moving from one century to another and I think I’m a better horse because of it.”

  Elizabeth gasped, “You wouldn’t dare!” She looked desperately at Tommy. “Thomas, you can’t let them leave me here!”

  Tommy looked at me and then back at Elizabeth. He finally said, “Elizabeth, you have a lot of things going for you, but nobody likes the way you treat them. You act like you’re better than everyone else. You make Freedom feel like she’s a fashion moron. You tell Liberty that he stinks. And you threaten to send Mr. Revere to a different school. And you want us to bring you back to Manchester Middle School so you can keep treating people like a piece of chewed gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe? No, thank you. If we bring you back, you’re going to have to start treating people differently.”

  “Hey, I bring the teachers cupcakes!” Elizabeth said in defense.

  “Only when you’re trying to bribe them to give you a good grade,” said Tommy. “Being truly nice to someone means being kind and thoughtful and considerate of others. It means complimenting Freedom about her hair or her smile or how smart she is.”

  “Okay, let’s not go overboard,” Elizabeth said.

  “Being nice means not saying stuff that would make someone feel bad. For example, Liberty smells like a horse. He can’t help it. It’s just the way he is.”

  Elizabeth rolled her eyes. It was hard to know what she was thinking or feeling. She said, “Okay, I’m sorry, Liberty, for calling you odoriferous. But a body spray wouldn’t hurt. Is that considered offensive?”

  “Here’s the thing, you’ll know when you’re really being nice when you do something for someone else without expecting anything in return.”

  “People actually do that?” Elizabeth gawked.

  Suddenly, we heard the sound of a bell from a distant bell tower.

  “You don’t need to tell me what time it is!” Liberty grinned. “It starts with an L and ends with an E.”

  “Latrine?” asked Tommy. “Most people just say ‘I have to go to the bathroom.’ ”

  “Oh, brother,” Liberty sighed. “It’s lunchtime!”

  The doors of Carpenters’ Hall opened and several distinguished-looking men dressed in colonial clothing exited the building. I didn’t recognize most of them but some of them I did.

  George Washington, Patrick Henry, and Edmund Pendleton travel to the First Continental Congress at Carpenters’ Hall, Philadelphia, September 1774.

  “Look, there’s Patrick Henry!” Tommy said. “Can I go say hi?”

  “Absolutely,” I said.

  “Come on, Elizabeth,” Tommy said, “I’ll introduce you. Cam is going to die when I tell him we bumped into Patrick Henry. He and Cam totally hit it off back in 1765.”

  Suddenly, I noticed Samuel Adams coming out of the building with two other men standing on either side of him. I didn’t recognize the one on the left but the tall gentleman on the right was a dead ringer for George Washington!

  “Liberty! Do you see who that is?” I pointed.

  “Which one? Oh! I see. Wow! That’s George Washington,” Liberty whispered. “He’s as regal as ever. I’ve always loved the way he commands respect. They should teach that in school.”

  “And exactly what would the class be called?” I asked, amused.

  “Hmm,” Liberty pondered, “how about Awesomeness 101. Seriously, George Washington is the man. People can’t help but stare at him because he’s just so awesome.”

  Within seconds, Samuel Adams, whom I had met in Boston, recognized me and said, “Rush Revere. Welcome! When did you arrive in Philadelphia?”

  “Just today in fact,” I said.

  “Let me introduce you to my cousin John Adams, who is a fellow delegate from Massachusetts,” said Samuel.

  “A pleasure to meet you, sir,” said John.

  “You have no idea how excited I am to be here and meet all of you,” I said, trembling with excitement. “I’m a history teacher and I’ve brought a couple of students with me.”

  A portrait of George Washington.

  Portrait of John Adams by Gilbert Stuart.

  “And what will you teach them about?” asked John Adams.

  “Well, funny you should ask,” I chuckled. “We are studying the events that led to the colonizing of America and the events leading up to the American Revolution.”

  “Yes, indeed, an American revolution. I like the sound of that,” said the tall and regal-looking man who just had to be George Washington. “However, we must be united before we ever dare revolt. There is still much discord among the thirteen colonies.”

  Samuel Adams stepped forward and said, “Rush Revere, let me introduce you to one of our delegates from Virginia, the illustrious George Washington,” said Samuel.

  “I’m truly honored and overwhelmed,” I said. “I barely know what to say. You are as presidential as I imagined.”

  “Are you running for political office, Mr. Washington?” asked John Adams.

  “I doubt Mr. Washington is looking for this kind of office,” I said knowingly.

  “That is absolutely correct,” said George Washington. “But I am looking for some food before we return to the Congress.”

  “Is George hungry again?” said a jovial voice from behind me. I turned to see Patrick Henry with Tommy and Elizabeth. Patrick laughed and slapped George Washington on the back. The future first president scowled and stood erect, ready to confront the man who dared invade his personal space. When he saw it was his fellow delegate Patrick Henry he only sighed, shook his head, and returned to his military posture.

  Patrick laughed again and said, “I try to make s
ure that my fellow delegate from Virginia gets fed at least every other day but he seems to think he needs food every day!” This time everyone laughed, and even George Washington gave a half smile, but Patrick Henry laughed the loudest. “And where is my eloquent young friend, Cameron?” asked Patrick.

  “I’m afraid he was unable to make this trip,” I said. “But he is doing well and I know he will be sorry he missed you.”

  “It is good to be missed,” said Patrick. “Better than being shot!” He laughed again and was joined by the others. “You must take this back to Cameron.” Patrick raised his hand in the air and prompted me to do the same. When I did he slapped my upraised palm and said, “High five!” He laughed and exclaimed, “Cameron will know what that means.”

  I grinned and said, “Thank you, I’m sure he will enjoy it.”

  “And I am sure that my hunger grows more persistent,” George Washington said. “Come, I know where we can get some hearty meat pies.”

  The others followed him as he led the way down a cobblestone street. His long stride and tall stature made him look the part of a natural leader.

  “A good choice,” said John Adams. “Meat pies are both delicious and filling. Even my cranky cousin would agree with me. Isn’t that right, Samuel?”

  “Filling is not the word I would choose,” Samuel argued. “I prefer satisfying.”

  John rolled his eyes as the eight of us followed with growing appetites.

  I marveled to think of who I was walking with. These were four of the Founding Fathers of America. And two of them, George Washington and John Adams, would be future presidents of the United States of America.

  “Mr. Revere,” Tommy said, “is Benjamin Franklin here?”

  “No, he is not a delegate at this First Continental Congress,” I said.

  “I’m afraid he’s licking his wounds after getting lambasted by Parliament for the Hutchinson letters,” said John.

  “The what letters?” asked Tommy.

  John Adams continued: “The royal governor of Boston, Thomas Hutchinson, wrote letters to England asking for more British troops to fight against the American rebels as well as advice on how to subdue America by restricting its liberties. Somehow the letters were taken and printed in the Boston newspapers. As you can imagine, the citizens of Boston were furious and wanted Hutchinson’s head. He had to flee to England and the British government demanded to know who leaked the letters.”

  “But what does that have to do with Benjamin Franklin?” asked Tommy.

  John clarified, “At one point, Franklin had the letters in his possession. He was not responsible for the letters getting printed, but he took the blame so others who were innocent and wrongly accused would not get punished.”

  “He was verbally abused again and again. The brutal criticism must have been tormenting for him. It is said that he stood there silent yet standing firm. They wanted to show he was inferior and tried to make him feel worthless,” said Samuel.

  “The King and his Parliament think all the colonists in America are inferior. It is clear that they no longer consider us British citizens!” exclaimed Patrick Henry.

  “I wish that were all that Franklin was dealing with,” said George Washington. “It is well-known that Franklin’s son, William, is a fierce loyalist who refuses to listen to his father’s pleas to join the Patriots. They have exchanged bitter words and I am sure it must feel as if he has lost his son to the darkness that blinds men of the truth.”

  Benjamin Franklin, assisted by his son William, proving the identity of electricity in lightning with his famous kite and key experiment of June, 1752.

  Chaplain Jacob Duché leading the first prayer in the First Continental Congress at Carpenters’ Hall, Philadelphia, September 1774.

  “Indeed, it is a sad and difficult time for all who live in America,” I said.

  Tommy pulled me back with Liberty and Elizabeth and whispered, “I remember when we visited with Benjamin Franklin outside the Palace of Westminster. He was so kind and gave me some great fatherly advice.”

  Liberty butted in and whispered, “He called you the Future of America, remember?”

  “Yeah.” Tommy nodded. “How can his son not see and appreciate a father with so much wisdom and goodness? But I suppose we don’t really know what happens inside of families.”

  Liberty nodded and whispered, “Remember when Benjamin called me a natural phenomenon? And he said I was exactly who I was meant to be. He basically said I was awesome and the most amazing creature on the planet.”

  “Are you sure he didn’t say you’re naturally delusional and the most annoying creature on the planet?” asked Elizabeth with an attitude.

  “Ahh, there’s the Elizabeth we all know and love.” I smiled. “It’s good to have you join in the conversation.”

  Elizabeth just rolled her eyes and turned the other way.

  “Here! We have arrived at our destination,” said George Washington.

  Before too long I was eating a slice of warm meat pie made with ground pork, potatoes, onions, and spices. It was absolutely delicious.

  “I’m going to that vegetable cart,” whispered Elizabeth. “I’m not a big fan of meat pies.”

  “I’m coming with you,” whispered Liberty. “I’m not a carnivore.”

  I called to Tommy and said, “Why don’t you go with Elizabeth and Liberty.”

  Elizabeth gave me a suspicious look and said, “What? You think I’m going to escape with Liberty when you’re not looking?”

  “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Elizabeth,” I said. “Oh, wait, on second thought, I don’t trust you.” I smiled.

  “Whatever,” she said as she headed toward the vegetable cart.

  I turned to these legendary Founding Fathers and asked, “I know you are about to make a decision that could separate America from Great Britain. Are you truly ready to face the consequences of this decision? I’m sure you know that King George will not give up without a fight.”

  Patrick Henry squared his shoulders to mine and boldly said, “As God is my witness I say give me liberty or give me death. I will give my life for the cause of freedom. I will not support a crown that restricts our liberties. I will not pay the King’s debt or feed his soldiers or obey without question. He will take everything from us if we let him. Parliament laughs at the thought of us governing ourselves. It is time we make America free!”

  “But we are a free people,” said John Adams. “Always were and always will be. As the first colonists arrived on the Mayflower and fought the elements, we will fight against tyranny always!”

  “We may be hanged, but we will die for our beloved freedom!” Samuel Adams joined in.

  I nodded as George Washington stepped forward. As he spoke it was as if the clouds parted and the sun rested upon his back and shoulders. He smiled as he looked down at each of us before saying, “America was founded on freedom. Heaven opened a way for the Puritans to come and thrive in a hard and hostile land. Were they smart men? Of course they were. But I have read that men like William Bradford were more than just smart. They were people of faith and courage and integrity. I believe the only way America can prosper is to remember the religious freedoms that our forefathers fought for. Only then can the smiles of heaven bless this sacred land.”

  We all nodded at the wisdom from the man who would be the first president of the greatest nation on earth. And for a quick moment I thought of my Pilgrim hero William Bradford and how sad he would be to hear that all the freedoms that they fled England for were in jeopardy. But how happy he would be to know that many brave men in this century were fighting to keep their dreams alive!

  “This Congress,” I said. “Do you think it has been successful?”

  “This First Continental Congress represents the willingness of the thirteen separate colonies to join together as one united government,” said Patrick.

  “Sort of like a united states of America?” I hinted.

  “Yes, you could sa
y that,” said John Adams. “In fact, I quite like the thought of it.”

  “And now we must return to vote as a united America,” John said.

  “We must all pray more fervently that God will help us in this most important decision,” said Patrick Henry.

  Tommy, Elizabeth, Liberty, and I were outside Carpenters’ Hall when the final session of the First Continental Congress ended. I’ll admit I was extremely anxious to know if the colonies decided to separate from England or not. As the doors opened and the delegates began exiting the building I saw Samuel Adams first.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said as I ran to learn the real history of what had happened.

  Samuel looked satisfied as he said, “A vote was taken and the delegates of the First Continental Congress decided to cut off colonial trade with Great Britain unless Parliament abolishes the Intolerable Acts.”

  “If I’m not mistaken,” I mused, “the Intolerable Acts caused the port of Boston to be closed, forced the people of Boston to open their homes so the King’s soldiers would have a place to live, and denied any Bostonian to govern their own city.”

  “That is correct,” said Samuel. “The King must reopen Boston Harbor, remove the Redcoats from living in our homes, allow Boston to govern itself, and remove other punitive laws.”

  “And you are happy with this?” I asked.

  “Yes, of course,” Samuel said. “But the delegates were asked to return to their colonies and begin training their citizens for potential war against Britain.”

  A sense of worry and dread touched my heart and mind. My own feelings surprised me. I knew the history. I knew the outcome. So why did I feel so much angst about the news from Samuel? As I pondered I realized what it was. Simply, war means death. The men, women, and children that I had seen in Massachusetts and Virginia, the families in all the colonies, would sacrifice so much for something many Americans today take for granted. Freedom. Is freedom something worth dying for? I believe it is. But not all the delegates were happy about this. However, in the end the votes were cast and the decision was made to officially make a stand against the King of England. And I knew that in less than six months the war for America’s independence would officially begin at the Battle of Lexington.