“I got fresh air this morning when I did my jog around the driveway for thirty minutes.”
Carmala sighed and shook her head.
“I’ve really put a lot of effort into these preparations. I’ll bet you skipped breakfast, huh?” Margo grabbed Carmala’s hand and led her into the kitchen.
Carmala went along, numbly.
“Okay, before we do anything else you’re going to have something to eat and drink. Do you hear me?” Margo put her arm around Carmala. “Come on, you sit down, and I’ll get us a glass of wine.”
Margo’s kitchen looked cozy with candles lit, a delicious spread on the table, and a bottle of red wine already opened on the kitchen island. Margo served them a glass of wine and sat down at the table with Carmala. “Now spill it. What has he done now?”
Carmala told the Guido story—the good, the bad, and the ugly. “So, Margo, maybe this is all a saving grace. I’ve been questioning this relationship for so long.”
“I know, but it’s still a shock. I can’t believe he cheated on you,” Margo said, her forehead creasing. “Just when you think you know a man, he throws you for a loop. Like Timmy did to me. And, honestly, I don’t understand cheating. It’s not the way I work or think. Tim could have ended our relationship before he…” She shook her head. “But let’s concentrate on Guido.”
“Yeah, I know. And Guido, of all guys. Supermacho, possessive to the point that I couldn’t look at or talk to a man without his third-degree cross-examination. I would have never thought he’d cheat on me. Here I was questioning my happiness, and before I could wrap my mind around ending it, he beat me to the punch. Now, I have to get a grip on the fact that Guido may be bisexual.”
“Who knows, maybe Jon and Guido will become an item.”
“The entire thing has got my horns twisted. It’s still too fresh. I can’t even appreciate the obvious attraction. The way the two of them got on whenever we were together. I mean, I was happy they’d become friends. However, never in my life would I have expected them to become lovers. Now that Guido and Jon broke my trust, I lost my boyfriend and my good friend all at the same time.” Carmala paused, swirled her wine again and took a deep sip, allowing the dry red liquid to calm her mind.
“I know.” Margo squeezed Carmala’s hand.
“I just don’t get it. Guido and I were in a committed relationship. Having great sex regularly. Yet he still felt the need to go outside the relationship for something else. Do you think it’s because I wouldn’t do certain things with him sexually?”
Margo chuckled and shook her head. “No, Carmala. I’m sure it has nothing to do with what you did or didn’t do. It’s his need to bond in a way he didn’t with you. I’m almost sure of it. Guido bonded with Jon in a way he couldn’t with you—man to man. I have to agree with Jon, though. It wasn’t planned. Guido acted on an impulse. And with Jon, gay or not, he’s a guy, and men think with their cocks.”
“If Guido didn’t plan this stuff with Jon, why did he ask to go over to Jon’s after breakfast? Jon was supposed to be my friend. I asked that bastard to keep Guido company, not have sex with him. What a fool I am!” Carmala slapped the table. “After all the energy I’ve spent constantly massaging Guido’s ego, and then he does this? And with the one male friend I never considered a threat. I hate them right now.”
“Carm, really, you can’t blame Jon. Well, not totally. It takes two for any affair. But Guido slipped into his bed and seduced him. What do you expect?”
“Oh, nothing much, maybe a little loyalty from a guy who calls me his best girl friend.”
“I know you’re angry now, and that’s good. Once you get through the anger, you’ll come to accept that it’s the best thing for you. You wanted a way out of the relationship anyway. So now you’re finally free.” Margo got up to refill her glass and brought the bottle of wine to the table.
“I don’t know. I thought this was what I wanted. He’s been everything to me for so long now. I don’t know how I’m going to do this alone. Maybe I was selfish and didn’t consider his needs enough. Perhaps my own success went to my head, and even though I knew he felt left out, I somewhat ignored him. And then he slipped away.”
Margo shifted in her seat and leaned forward, her gaze intent. “Take it from me. I suffered a similar guilt with Timmy. But I clearly ignored him and spent very little quality time because of my work. You, at least, were with Guido for most nights. You worked out together. He was insecure, Carmala. I mean, you couldn’t go for drinks with your clients without him giving you trouble.”
Margo sipped her wine and paused in apparent deep thought. “I learned in counseling that a relationship requires both people to be supportive of one another, no matter what they are going through. Your career has taken off. He should have been supportive of you. Besides, he progressed with his career, too. You got a nice apartment together. He gave you mixed messages. In my view, he attempted to hold you back from your success and couldn’t be the healthy partner you deserve.”
She pushed a platter of delicious-looking gourmet crackers, cheese, green olives, and Italian meats toward Carmala. On any other day, Carmala would be thrilled, but the sight of the food repelled her.
“Don’t tell Izzy.” Margo laughed and dished a healthy portion on her plate. “I’m not supposed to eat this shit. But, yum, I can’t help it. You have to splurge sometimes.” She smiled at Carmala, a playful glint in her eye. “Try some.”
Carmala shook her head. “It’s a shame we couldn’t have worked it out. What a waste of human effort. I tried so hard to make him confident in himself and us.”
“It actually didn’t have anything to do with you, Carmala. You’re going to have to accept it and move on.”
Carmala shrugged. “He’s a total hypocrite!”
“I see parallels with my situation with Timmy. But it’s also very different. Guido tried to control you to make him feel powerful. He needed to feel more manly. But you showed him you didn’t need him. You got the new job, flew to Palm Beach to acquire a multibillion-dollar account for your company. I think he feared he’d lose you.”
“I never gave him any indication of that. I was loyal all along.”
“Something has to be going on inside of him. We all need to explore our sexual impulses without judgment.”
“We’re all human and part of being human is to, at times, be hypocritical. I get that. Maybe Guido denied his desires for years. I don’t know. But I do know that my heart got broken in all of this, and I hate it!”
“Granted, you’re hurt. But think of this. Maybe Guido was tortured with constant self-imposed pressure. He put himself out there as the example of maleness, with his macho attitude. Perhaps he needed someone to lean on. He tried to be the strong one for you all the time, and then when he needed to be vulnerable, he felt like he couldn’t turn to you because he had to maintain his macho image with you.”
Carmala took a cube of cheese and nibbled it, but it tasted like cardboard and she put the half-eaten piece on her plate. “You have a point. He couldn’t be himself with me. You know, I gave up part of myself for him. I tried to make it work. When he followed me around, monitored my phone calls, listened to my messages, read my text messages on my phone, I turned the other cheek. I pretended it didn’t matter. All because I loved him.”
Margo patted Carmala’s hand. “Forget about Guido for one minute. Think of you. You’ve spent precious energy worrying about your relationship with him. Now you don’t have to worry anymore. Is it that you can’t be happy without him or that you’re afraid to be by yourself?”
“I am happy with myself. I have my career, but a career isn’t everything. A job can’t keep you warm on a cold winter night. But I’m not telling you anything new. I’m sure you thought of all of this since Timmy left.” Darn. She shouldn’t have mentioned Timmy. “It’s almost like the more successful you are as a professional businesswoman, the more intimidating you are to the men around you. Equally matched men don’t want
the competition. So they’re nowhere to be found. And men who are drawn to your intelligence and sense of independence who aren’t on the same socio-economic level resent it in the end. You can’t win.”
“I’m all for attracting a man who has no clue who I am. At least for one night. I’d like to just be another pretty airhead in a kick-ass LBD and sky-high stilettos.” Margo drained her glass and got up to get water.
Carmala didn’t want to continue feeling sorry for herself. And she didn’t want to reopen Margo’s wounds from her divorce. They needed to talk about having a good time. “I’d like to meet a man with no expectations. Someone who just wants to have fun.”
Margo’s face brightened. “Izzie always talks about the nightclub invitations she gets from her clients. Maybe we take her up on one? Is next week too soon?”
Carmala leaned forward. “Like where?”
“Who knows? They’re all New York’s top happening clubs.”
“And how would my girl know this when she never goes out?” Carmala squinted at Margo. Maybe she was ready to go on the prowl.
“I haven’t been going out much, I know. But I do have connections. Izzie connections. That girl knows the town and where to go to see and be seen.”
“So are you done hiding in this house?”
“If you can break your relationship with Guido, I can break out of this house. Especially in light of a very special invitation. I’d originally planned to decline. And…if you’d prefer to stay in and wallow in your tears, I understand.”
“No, I absolutely do not. What is this invitation? Tell me.”
Margo grabbed her purse and produced a red-glittered envelope. “I have it right here. Two VIP passes to Club 21. We’re talking red carpet, VIP seating, and free champagne for the night to boot!”
“Okay, so when is it?”
“It’s for next Saturday. But will you still be wallowing?”
“Uh, no. And who’s wallowing?”
“That’s my girl.” Margo popped up and grabbed her phone. “I’ll call Izzy now.”
God, the single life again? Was Carmala up for it?
****
Carmala was extremely busy the next week, wrapping up work with a new client, Pure Cosmetics. They’d obtained the financing needed to expand their operations for the new joint venture with department store brands. Another successful venture down the hatch. Yay.
Late Thursday afternoon Margo called at the office.
“Still up for clubbing Saturday night?”
Carmala sighed. Yes and no.
She hadn’t heard a word from Guido. Thank God. She had buried herself in work this week to help her forget him. Yet work didn’t erase her disappointment. She had to admit she did miss him. He’d been her friend and her lover for a long time. Who wouldn’t miss the sudden loss?
But she had to buck up and get on with her life. “Yes, I’m looking forward to it.” She tried to work up her enthusiasm.
“Great, come by Saturday afternoon. We’ll hang.”
“Sure thing. I have no idea what I’ll wear out, though.”
“Don’t worry. I have tons of clothes, and I’ve organized the clubbing outfits. You’ll have quite the selection to choose from. Believe me.”
“Okay, that makes it easier. I’ll see you Saturday.”
Maybe dancing with other men would cure her sadness.
And a little flirtation couldn’t hurt either.
****
Carmala arrived at Margo’s Saturday afternoon, overnight and makeup bags in hand.
Margo greeted her with a wide grin. “Ready for action?”
“Uh, no. Ready for fun, yes.” She could do with a little flirtation, meeting new men, but she couldn’t even think of “action” the way she suspected Margo had meant it.
“Well, that’s what the hell I mean. Hungry?”
“I could eat.” Carmala shrugged out of her coat and threw it on the couch.
“Come on, I’ll make you a sandwich. Then we’ll play with clothes.”
They sat down to a nice meal of turkey breast and Swiss on rye with hot mustard. Carmala licked her lips. The meaty taste of the turkey coupled perfectly with the crisp lettuce on still-warm toasted rye and spicy mustard. Margo had become quite the hostess in the past few months.
When they finished eating, they went to Margo’s room. “Start rummaging through my closets.” She picked up the cordless and punched a few buttons.
Margo had two walk-in closets: one for work clothes and one for play clothes. A third closet contained only shoes. Carmala pulled out a few ensembles and laid them on the bed. She and Margo were close to the same size, even though Margo had an inch on her in height and wore a bigger cup size—Ds compared to her Cs. As for shoe size, they were a perfect match.
Margo chatted on the phone while Carmala searched for something she liked.
“Izzie, Carmala’s here. You on your way?”
Carmala could practically hear Izzie’s raspy voice through the line.
“Okay, good.” Margo hung up and fell back on the bed. “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this. You and me. We’re single again. Who would have guessed, say last year, we’d be in this place?”
Carmala lay on the opposite side of her, careful not to mess up the clothes she’d laid out. “I know. We were both settled down a year ago and look at us now. We’re planning to prowl the clubs.” She glanced over to Margo, and they smiled at each other. “It’s kind of exciting. I mean, I’ve been in long-term relationships since high school. I don’t think I had much time club hopping.”
“Or men hopping,” Margo quipped. They both giggled at Margo’s words. “For the first time since high school, we’re going out as single girls, you and me.”
“We’re all set then. Izzie’s on her way?” Carmala got up and sifted through her selections.
“Yep, she’ll be here shortly. She has an extra ticket, so she asked if we could take the gay guy, Jon. “
The thought of seeing Jon again boiled her blood. “Definitely not going to happen.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Izzie’s forgotten the idea soon after she mentioned it.”
Relieved, Carmala changed the subject. “How’s she getting here?”
“She’s coming in a limo to pick us up at eight o’clock. She told me she wants us to dress sexy and doesn’t want to be embarrassed by a couple of dried-up prudes!”
“Yes, ma’am! Marching orders taken.” Carmala held up one of the dresses against herself and posed in front of the mirror. The slinky material hit midthigh. “Will this work?”
“Hell, yes.” Margo rummaged through the pile of shoes Carmala had scattered on the floor and came held up five-inch stilettos. “With these.”
“Perfect. I’m glad we’re taking a limo. We don’t have to worry about driving if we’re drunk. I’m psyched. Did you find something sexy to wear?”
Margo showed her a tiny red dress that would complement her coloring perfectly.
“I can’t believe the change in you, Margo. This is the Margo I remember. When did we both stop having fun?”
“I have no clue. But let’s make a pact right here and right now that we’re not going to stop. We’re not going to let a man zap the life out of us. Ever again. Okay?”
“You betcha.” She high-fived Margo. “Fun and free forever.”
“Okay, so you can use the shower in the guest room. Want a glass of wine?”
“Sure.”
They confirmed their dress selections. Carmala settled on the vampish look in black and Margo the temptress in red. She wore the black stiletto heels Margo had pulled out for her, black fishnet stockings, and a barely there tight-ass black minidress. Margo’s red dress left little to the imagination, and with huge heels and full red lips, she could practically pass for a streetwalker. Overall though, Carmala had to admit, they looked hot, and they knew it. God, it felt good.
Carmala laughed. “We’re ready for trouble.” She smoothed her dress
down her thighs. It was so tight it kept riding up.
The doorbell rang. “Don’t worry, it’s Izzie. She has a key.” Margo fluffed her hair.
Izzie charged into the bedroom a few minutes later, glass filled with wine in her hand. She’d obviously helped herself to Margo’s fridge.
“Hello, girls! Ready for a wild time?”
“Izzie!” Margo hugged her, trying not to spill her wine. “I am so ready for tonight. It’s been too long.”
“If all it takes is a best friend’s breakup to get you out on the town, I could have used that excuse a few times already, Margo. We are so going to have fun tonight!” Izzie said.
She gave Carmala the glance-over. “Great outfit, but the rest of you just won’t do. Not with that plain Jane makeup. You look like you’re going to the office. Here. Let me help you.” Izzie organized makeup on Margo’s vanity set. She took Carmala’s hand and seated her at the vanity. She brushed her hands together in anticipation. “Okay, let’s make you even hotter. No guy will resist you after I’m done with you.”
A melancholy wave ran over Carmala. She burst into tears, suddenly overwhelmed by the breakup and that she was actually going out in the singles world, without Guido.
Izzie looked at Carmala, then at Margo. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, Carmala broke it off with Guido last week. It’s only been a week. She’s still very upset.”
“Tell you the truth, guys, I’m not ready for this yet. I’m going to stay in tonight. I’ll watch some movies on your big screen if you don’t mind,” Carmala said, looking at Margo.
“Hell, no. That asshole Guido is so lucky you didn’t dump him moons ago. You wanted a life, and you need to start it now. We are not going to waste a perfectly good invite like we have tonight. There are men to flirt with, dancing to do, and a whole lot of partying to get on. So get up. Get off your ass. The bus is leaving any minute,” Izzie said.
“Carmala, I can’t do this without you. I’m not going if you don’t go.” Margo put her hands on Carmala’s shoulders and stared straight into her eyes. “Come on, honey, you’ll feel so much better once you get out and laugh with your friends. The first time will be the hardest. You don’t have to pick up guys. Just dance with them. Have some fun. Get your mind off Guido.”
Having Fun with Mr. Wrong Page 26
