Trailing Home: Liam's Bride (The McKenzie Series #3)

by Lynn Coppersmith

  Gerald waited until she looked back up and then gave her a wink. “I know, I know. You have Liam’s very best interests at heart. Don’t you worry about a thing. I’m sure Peter will be willing to help out, right Peter?”

  Seeing that her scheme had Gerald’s approval, Peter shrugged. “Sure, why not. Just don’t do anything that’s going to make Susan mad at me, alright?”

  “That’s a deal,” Selena said. “Where is Susan, anyway? I want her to ride with me today. I need some company.”

  Selena found Susan, and the two of them returned to Selena’s and Liam’s wagon and climbed up onto the bench. Susan turned to Liam with a sunny smile.

  “Good morning, Liam.”

  “Mmmm,” he grunted in response, not even bothering to open his eyes.

  “Never mind him,” Selena laughed, patting Susan’s hand. “He’s as grumpy as a hungry bear these days, but don’t take it personally.”

  Selena continued to chat with Susan, and they seemed to have forgotten his presence. Liam glowered at Selena’s back. He didn’t like being ignored, and he didn’t like being talked about as if he weren’t there. His mood got progressively worse as the morning aged, and the two women droned on and on.

  Susan was speaking with animated enthusiasm. “. . . so Papa and Mama said that Peter could have their permission to court me. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  “Oh Susan, I’m so happy for both of you. Peter is a fine young man and would be very lucky if he eventually gets to have you as his wife,” Selena said with a smile.

  “And isn’t he just the most handsome man you’ve ever seen?” Susan asked with a dreamy sigh.

  Selena thought Liam was much more handsome, but of course, she didn’t say that. Instead, she nodded her head.

  “Oh, he is indeed. If I weren’t a married woman, I might give you a run for your money.” She looked at Susan and winked, and the two of them shared a giggle.

  Liam’s face took on a ruddy hue as he fumed. Selena pretended not to notice, as she kept up a steady stream of conversation with Susan. They eventually stopped for lunch, and Susan went to join her family, leaving Selena and Liam alone once more.

  Selena once again ignored him as she took out some cold beans and bread for their lunch. She helped herself to a plate and sat down, leaning against a nearby tree. Liam managed to climb down without assistance. He gripped the edge of the wagon to catch his breath and glared at Selena for a brief moment, but she was eating her lunch and didn’t look up. When his legs steadied beneath him, he made his way behind some bushes to relieve himself, and by the time he returned, Selena was finished eating.

  “Aren’t you even going to offer me any lunch?” he growled, leaning a shoulder against the same tree she was sitting under.

  Selena tilted her head back and shaded her eyes as she looked up at him. “You know where everything is. Help yourself.”

  She closed her eyes and leaned back against the tree, obviously dismissing him from her thoughts as she relaxed for a few minutes. Liam was surprised that he actually felt hunger pangs, but it was obvious that Selena didn’t care about his needs. He helped himself to a plate of food as he brooded about her callousness. Apparently, she had lost all feeling for him. Well, it was no matter. He knew it was inevitable, and he might as well get used to it. He sat and ate, as he brooded about how unjust this whole situation was. It wasn’t his fault that he had gotten sick, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He would just have to live with it.

  Selena watched him from beneath lowered eyelids. She suppressed a grin, pretending that she was napping. Her plan was actually working better than she had anticipated. Liam had been so preoccupied with the changes in the way she treated him, that he was now polishing off the second hearty meal of the day. With all her coaxing and hovering, she hadn’t been able to get him to eat properly for weeks, and now he was. It was a small victory, but she knew the worst was still to come.

  She still had to get him to climb out of his depression, and getting Liam to do anything against his will was nearly impossible. He was more stubborn than that mule of Marcia’s, and Selena knew he didn’t like to be manipulated, so she would have to proceed with caution. She was going to have to make it seem as if everything was his own idea, and that wouldn’t be easy. However, his performance today gave her cause to take heart. Physically, Liam was strong enough to resume some of his normal activities. She just had to make him want to do so.

  Seeing that the others were finished with their meals, Selena stood up. She didn’t spare a glance for Liam as she walked toward where Peter sat nearby.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said over her shoulder, leaving Liam to scowl at her swaying hips.

  Selena sat down next to Peter, a little closer than propriety dictated. She laughed and talked with him, giving him coy smiles and sidelong glances from beneath her lashes. Every so often as they talked, Selena laid a hand on Peter’s arm, and her fingers caressed him fondly as she continued to chat. Peter was so young and inexperienced with women, that even though he knew her game, he blushed. He glanced nervously toward where Susan sat, a short distance away.

  “Don’t worry,” Selena whispered in his ear. “I explained everything to Susan, and she won’t be mad, I promise.”

  Peter relaxed and flashed Selena a broad grin. The two of them sat laughing and talking until it was time to move out once again. When Selena returned to her wagon, Liam had already climbed onto his pallet, without anyone’s assistance. Selena hid her grin and climbed onto the seat.

  As arranged, Susan stayed with Gerald for the afternoon, and once again, Selena was alone on the seat as they drove along. However, her mood was considerably lighter than before. She made no attempt to draw Liam into conversation. Instead, she rode along, humming to herself and enjoying the day. She was aware of Liam’s steady regard. She could sense his unwavering stare focused between her shoulder blades, but she ignored him, as she busily plotted her next move.

  They stopped to make camp in a lovely meadow, where the grass was lush and green. Selena purposefully pulled their wagon a little farther away from the others than usual to give them more privacy. She knew that Liam’s anger was building, and if they were going to have an argument, she didn’t want everyone else to overhear the entire exchange.

  Selena left Liam to make his own way down from the wagon, and she went about unhitching the team. Liam found a comfortable spot under a tree and sat down, leaning back against it as he watched her. His displeasure was evident in every line of his face, but she blithely ignored him. It would be up to him to express his feelings. She wasn’t going to probe and question anymore.

  She started erecting the tent, but found that the ground was fairly hard and rocky. Selena made quite a show of trying to get the stakes driven into the ground, but finally, she sat back on her heels and sighed.

  “I’ll just have to get Peter to help me,” she said to herself, but loud enough for Liam to overhear. “He’s so strong, I’m sure he’ll have no trouble getting these stakes into the ground.”

  Selena stood up and smoothed her skirt, taking her time to pat her hair neatly into place before she turned to walk toward where Peter and his family were camped nearby. As she passed by where he sat, Liam reached up and grabbed her wrist in an iron grip, surprising a gasp from her as he stood up.

  “I’ll do it,” he growled.

  Liam’s eyes flashed with barely leashed fury as he stalked toward the tent. Selena smothered a grin, instead striving to look mildly disappointed.

  “Oh, well if you can, that would be good. But it’s really no trouble for me to ask Peter. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

  Liam paused to glare at her from over his shoulder. “I’m sure he wouldn’t, but I said I’ll do it.” He turned away again, intent on his task.

  Selena watched him and wondered whether it was just a trick of her imagination. He seemed to be walking with more confidence, his shoulders once more square and proud, as they had always been
in the past. His body was leaner than before, but otherwise, he was starting to look much like his former self, and pangs of desire sprouted in the pit of Selena’s belly as she took in the sight of him. She turned away and busied herself building a fire, but she continued to watch Liam from beneath her lashes. Sure enough, he had no trouble getting the stakes driven into the hard ground, and grunting in satisfaction, he finished setting up the tent on his own. When he was done, he returned to his spot by the tree and sat down again, watching her as she worked.

  When Selena had their pot of beans warming over the fire, and a pan of cornbread cooking, she stood up and sighed. She placed both hands on the back of her waist and stretched to ease her tired muscles. She looked toward where Peter was camped and gave another long sigh.

  “I wonder if Hank would bring out his fiddle tonight,” she said softly, almost to herself. “I wouldn’t mind some dancing.”

  Liam gave an angry snort but refused to rise to the bait. His wife knew perfectly well that he wasn’t up to dancing, so that could only mean she wanted to dance with the other men.

  Selena pretended not to notice his displeasure, instead humming a lively tune that she had heard Hank play before. She puttered around, casting frequent glances toward where Peter was working in the distance. Turning back to Liam, she bit her lip in apparent indecision.

  “Oh, but you probably don’t feel up to any socializing do you?” Without waiting for his response, she looked back toward Peter and sighed. “Oh well.”

  Liam growled viciously, as the last thread that had been holding his temper in check snapped. “Go ahead, Selena. Go throw yourself at Peter. I’m sure he would be more than happy to catch you.”

  Selena raised a haughty brow as she faced him, crossing her arms over her chest. “I am not throwing myself at Peter. I just want someone to talk to, that’s all.”

  Liam snorted again, “Oh is that what you were doing earlier today, talking? It looked to me like you were shamelessly flirting with him.”

  “We were only talking, Liam,” Selena retorted, lifting her chin to a lofty angle. “You certainly haven’t made any effort to keep me company lately.”

  Liam looked away, grinding his teeth in frustrated anger. How could he tell her that even if he wanted to keep her company in the fullest sense of the word, he wasn’t physically capable? It was too humiliating.

  “You know better than anyone that I have been sick,” he muttered bitterly. “I haven’t exactly felt like keeping you company.”

  “Well that’s fine, Liam. If you want to wallow around in self-pity, feeling sorry for yourself morning, noon and night, then go right ahead. It’s just that I would rather not join you.”

  “I haven’t been feeling sorry for myself,” he growled, piercing her with a glare.

  Selena met his gaze without flinching. She was secretly glad to see so much emotion roiling around in his hazel eyes.

  “You could have fooled me. You refuse to eat, you don’t want to make any effort to get better, and lately, you’ve refused to even talk to me. It’s like you have just given up on living. You’ve completely shut me out and made it clear that you don’t want me as your wife anymore.”

  “Dammit, you know that’s not true!” he roared. “It’s just that . . .,” Liam stopped and looked away. His throat worked convulsively as he struggled with his emotions, and he finally took a deep, steadying breath before looking at her once more. His eyes were tormented, and she had to struggle to hear his next words, they were spoken so softly. “It’s not that I don’t want you as my wife. I’m just not sure I can be a husband to you anymore. You don’t need some cripple like me.”

  Selena’s breath caught in her throat, as she saw the raw pain in his eyes. She knelt beside him and gripped one of his large hands in both of hers.

  “What do you mean, Liam? Of course I need you, and you’re not a cripple. If you would just realize it, you’ve become much stronger. You’re almost fully recovered from your illness.”

  Liam grimaced, shaking his head. “I’ve recovered in some ways, but not in others.” He stared at her for a long time and could tell she didn’t understand his meaning. He looked away, feeling humiliated and small as he muttered, “I don’t know if I will ever be able to make love to you again. Maybe we should get our marriage dissolved. You’re better off being with someone else.”

  Selena gasped as understanding flooded her mind. Her shock was quickly replaced by fury, and before she even thought about what she was doing, she drew one arm back and slapped Liam across the face. She ignored his stunned expression as she clenched her hands into fists.

  “How dare you!” she cried, suppressed rage making her voice quiver. “You think so little of me that you assume I would just dump you because you can’t make love to me anymore? Do you honestly think I’m like that? The vows we spoke said ‘for better or worse, in sickness and in health,’ remember?”

  “Yes but . . .”

  “No buts, Liam McKenzie! After all we’ve been through together. To think that you believe that I’m so shallow that I would want out of our marriage just amazes me.”

  Selena rose and paced back and forth in front of him as she raged on. “Remember when I told you about my stepfather trying to rape me? I was afraid to tell you, afraid you would think I was damaged goods, like so many other men would have. But you were so tender and loving, never once believing that I had done anything to deserve being attacked. Do you have any idea how unusual that was? Even I was always ashamed, secretly wondering if I could have done something to prevent the attack. But you put an end to all that. You let me know that I wasn’t at fault.

  "And then when I lost the baby . . .” Her voice cracked, but she went on. “You never once blamed me for it, even though I felt so guilty. You stood by me, letting me know by your every action that you forgave me and still wanted me.”

  “Of course I still wanted you! I love you,” Liam yelled, feeling his own anger rise again. “There was nothing to forgive.”

  “Oh I see,” Selena said, placing her hands on her hips as she glared down at him. “You love me. So of course you would be able to stand by me, no matter what.” She stamped her foot in frustrated anger. “Why is it so hard for you to understand that I love you the same way?”

  Liam emitted a low growl and struggled to his feet. He clenched his hands until his knuckles were white as he scowled at her. “Because this is different! I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make love to you again. I may never totally recover, and you deserve so much more from a husband!”

  Sensing the desperation and pain beneath his anger, much of Selena’s fury dissipated, and she released her breath on a wavering sigh. “Liam, I don’t care about that. I love you and want nothing more than to be your wife.”

  “That’s why you’ve been throwing yourself at Peter,” Liam ground out.

  Selena’s cheeks flushed with guilt, but the corners of her mouth twitched with suppressed humor. “Well, actually no. I’ve been throwing myself at Peter just to get your attention.” She noticed Liam’s narrowed eyes, but she went on. “I don’t have the slightest interest in Peter or any other man, for that matter. Peter’s so smitten with Susan he wouldn’t normally have given me a second glance. The truth of the matter is that I asked him to play along so that I could make you jealous. I knew if I made you angry enough, your temper might just boil over and then we could see what was left in the bottom of the pot. It was the only way I could think of to get you to open up to me.”

  There was a long pause, during which Selena held her breath. She watched the muscles working in the side of Liam’s cheek, as he struggled with his turbulent emotions. Anger, relief, confusion and self-doubt all flickered across his handsome features as he plumbed the depths of her eyes.

  “So, you’ve been up to your sneaky tricks again,” Liam finally muttered.

  Selena put her arms around his waist and pushed him gently backward until they were leaning against the tree. When she looked up at
him, her eyes were soft and full of love.

  “I was willing to do whatever it took to reach you, Liam. I was determined to get through that thick skull of yours.” She reached up to cup his face in her palms. “Don’t you understand that I love you, no matter what? I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Before I met you, I was existing, nothing more. I was a shell, not a whole person. You came into my life and made me whole. I can’t go back to the way I was before. I need you.”

  Liam hesitated a moment longer before he pulled her against him. Although her words touched his heart, his body remained stubbornly unresponsive.

  “But Selena, you deserve children and . . .,”

  She cut off whatever he had been about to say by stretching up to kiss him. Her lips were warm and moist on his, calling to his soul as she conveyed all her own pent up longings. When she finally drew back from the kiss, her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.

  “Liam, you have to have faith. Give yourself time. You’ve only just begun to get your strength back. You’re so much better than you were a few weeks ago. Your body just needs more time. I believe that everything else will work out as well, but just know this. Even if it doesn’t, it will be enough for me to know that you love me and you haven’t shut me out. I need you as surely as I need air to breathe and food to eat. I don’t want anyone else but you, and I never will. I love you.”

  For the first time in weeks, Liam felt as if a weight had been lifted off of him, and somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a small glimmer of hope. He pulled her more firmly against him and kissed her again, enjoying the feeling of having her in his arms. Even though there was no reaction in his loins, the rest of his body, and more importantly his soul, could rejoice in holding her.

  “Alright,” he said when he finally raised his head. “We’ll give it time. But no more flirting with other men.”

  Selena’s grin was positively wicked. “Yes sir.”

  Their dinner that evening was quiet but companionable. Each of them was focused on their own thoughts, and only occasional comments were exchanged. However, as they lay side by side on their pallet later that night, they both felt more at peace than they had in several weeks.