That's a Relief (Promises, Promises Book 3)

by Victoria Klahr

  “I was too miserable last summer to care,” Seth mumbles, moving his mouth to my lips.

  I hate reminders of the time we spent apart. Of the time I shoved him from me and wouldn’t let him in on what I was really feeling. Sensing my growing tension, he holds my face in his hands and kisses me. Enough to show me he doesn’t hold it against me. That it’s over.

  It’s been three days since I told Seth about the baby and every one of them has been bliss. Perfection. No worries. Well, except for the constant vomiting. In the rare minutes of no nausea, Seth and I take every second to ravish each other.

  I’ve had to call out of school, because I’ve been too sick to function. But today, I’m skipping for another reason—we’re going to our first doctor’s appointment. Seth postponed his photoshoots, demanding to be with me today, even though I told him it wasn’t necessary.

  “Can I see the drawing?” I ask when he finally pulls away from my lips and starts rubbing my shoulders.

  A proud grin lights his face and he leans over to his infuriatingly-messy bedside table. Scattered amongst gum wrappers, tic tacs—not even in the box—loose sketches, and way too many photos, is a drawing Seth has been working on for a couple months. There have been so many days that I would come home and find him in the backyard chewing on his sketching pencil, eyebrows pulled together in concentration, and bouncing his leg. He’d smile at me when I walked out and close the sketchbook before I could see it.

  He gives me the folded sketch, and what I find when I open it is even better than I imagined. “Oh, I love it.”

  A night sky surrounds the landscape of a serene lake—just like our lake at his parents’ house—cloudy with a moon brightening the scenery. At the bottom are two hands releasing a floating lantern, the white fabric hiding a blazing flame inside. In the middle of the lantern, as I suggested one night, is something Seth and I wrote on every tree we found growing up. SM + JS.

  My fingers trace over the letters and a smile tugs on my lips.

  “You know, I can take that out before you get it,” Seth warns. I look up at him and frown.

  “Stop trying to convince me it’s a bad idea.”

  “It’s bad luck.”

  “You don’t believe in that. I’m starting to think you’re doubting our relationship. Do you not love me?”

  He rolls his eyes and pulls me closer. “Cute.” He touches the tip of my nose with his finger. “It’s not that.” He doesn’t explain any further, but the look in his eyes warns me that something is wrong—that for a moment he’s falling back into the self-doubt that he’s always felt around me. Unworthy and useless.

  “Sethy.” I reach up to rub the scruff on his face. “You’re worth it. I’d never regret it.”

  “You say that now.” His voice is low and he focuses on the engagement ring on my finger. Like he’s willing it to stay there. Like he’s terrified that one day I’ll take it off despite my promise.

  I don’t know what happened to my carefree Seth, but I feel like he’s slipping through my fingers lately. I see the darkness creeping back in him, and it scares me. Have I done something to make him worry about our relationship? Is he having second thoughts about marrying me? Which, of course, I know is ridiculous. If anything, Seth is diligent in showing how much he loves me.

  But there is something wrong. I can feel it.

  Before I can ask him about it, he distracts me by crawling over me and pulling my nipple into his mouth. I moan and flop against the pillows.

  “You’re amazing,” I breathe.

  “Of course I am,” Seth says, bringing his head back up to look at me. His cocky smile is back in place. All traces of past doubt evaporated.

  I roll my eyes, shove his head away from my body, and get out of bed to get ready for the day.

  ***

  The paper crinkles as I fidget on the examination table. Crunch. Crinkle. Crunch. An endless noise of paper chatter as I can’t seem to sit still.

  “Chill, Jos,” Seth says, grabbing my hand.

  “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not half naked waiting for the doctor to prod your insides.”

  He grins and pushes my hair out of my face. Then, as if my embarrassment couldn’t get worse, he starts singing to me. Voice low and husky, singing the chorus of “Sex and Candy”.

  I slap his arm, but my giggle belies my anger. “Oh, god. Shut up, Seth.”

  He leans back in his uncomfortable-looking plastic chair, still holding my hand, and shrugs. “You love it.”

  “Not in the place we’re about to see our baby for the first time!”

  “Shit, Jos. I was probably singing that in my head while we were making our baby.”

  I groan and try to pull my hand back but he chuckles and refuses to release me. The constant run of his thumb against my hand calms me down, and I look over at him lazily. His focus is on a 4-D model of women’s organs and a fetus. Like a curious three-year-old, he reaches his other hand to pick it up. As he inspects it closer, the puzzle pieces of ovaries fall to the floor.

  “Oh, shit,” Seth says, dropping my hand and trying to pick up the pieces. The fetus and tubes keep falling out of his hands as he tries to put it together. My laughter fills the room, uncontrollable and loud as I watch him struggle. “Keep laughing, Jos,” he grumbles trying to shove the pieces in the frame.

  A soft knock comes on the door before I can respond, and the doctor walks in. Her brown hair is pulled back in a low bun, white coat reaching her thighs, and she quirks an eyebrow as she watches a flustered Seth deal with lady bits. She reaches out to shake my hand.

  “Hi, I’m Dr. Rosin.”

  “Josie Sommers,” I say, still trying to control my laughter. Seth isn’t even paying attention. Dr. Rosin turns her attention back to Seth and tilts her head as he tries to punch the fetus into the middle of the uterus. I erupt into another fit of giggles and Dr. Rosin smiles.

  “And you must be the soon-to-be dad.”

  He looks up then and gives her a charming, wide grin. “If you’re asking if I put that baby inside that gorgeous girl, then you’re very, very right.”

  My laughter stops immediately and he turns his smile on me. I want to punch his face. The doctor takes it in stride and reaches out her hands. “I’ll fix that. You’re not the first new dad to have trouble with it.” He hands it over and resumes his spot holding my hand. She tilts her head as she looks at the model and shakes her head. “Though, you may be the first to beat a plastic fetus into place.”

  “My bad, doc, I’m used to a different baby-making method.”

  I rip my hand from his and cover my face, hating that Seth’s chuckling makes me grin behind my hands. “Last one, Jos. I promise.”

  “Okay,” Dr. Rosin says in a singsong voice. I find the courage to look at her and see she’s leaning against the wall watching us with a smile. “Josie, your bloodwork looks good. Definitely pregnant. Though, your tests did show some dehydration. Are you getting enough fluids in your diet?”

  “I can’t keep anything down.”

  She nods her head and types something into her computer. She speaks as she pulls up my file. “That’s normal in the first trimester. You probably don’t need me telling you, but you need to drink as much water as possible. Sometimes the recommended amount is still not enough. If you feel like the nausea is too bad, we can put you on safe medication to help.”

  “Definitely want that,” I say, nodding my head. Seth’s hand moves to twine through my hair. He hates not being able to help when I’m constantly sick.

  “Sounds good. Let me take a look at you, and then we can do an ultrasound to see how far you are.” She puts on gloves and waits for Seth to move out of her way. He’s reluctant but moves to the other side of the room to watch. She measures and pushes on my stomach. Listens to my breathing. Asks questions about the pregnancy so far and whether or not I smoke or drink. She pulls away and brings a cart next to the exam table.

  “On your form, you said that you’ve had an
abortion in the past. How many have you had and when?”

  There’s no judgment in her tone, but my eyes cut to Seth’s, worried and throat throbbing painfully. He gives me a reassuring smile and I try to swallow the lump.

  “One,” I say quietly. “July 2012.”

  She looks at me and gives me a nod. “Thank you for telling me. Some girls never mention it, but it’s important so we can take extra precautions in case of miscarriage or premature birth.”

  I nod my head and look back to Seth, seeking comfort in his cobalt eyes. He doesn’t need to speak anything for me to know what he’s saying. It’ll be okay, Josie. It’s in the past and this is our future.

  After answering a few more questions, Dr. Rosin takes out the thing she’ll be using to conduct a transvaginal ultrasound. Seth covers his face. She puts a condom on it and gel on top of that. I give Seth a pointed look, not wanting to hear another sexual innuendo, and he widens his eyes, shoving his hand in the direction of the transducer, and mouths, “Come on!”

  I’m so glad he’s behind the doctor.

  “Josie, would you prefer your husband to step out for this?”

  I look at him and smile at his elated grin—something he always sports when the topic of him being my husband comes up in conversation.

  He chuckles when I give him an unnecessary questioning look and shakes his head. “I’m not missing this, Jos.”

  “Husband stays,” I tell her.

  I shut my eyes as she does the ultrasound. It’s more uncomfortable than painful, and finally, I open my eyes to look at the screen in front of the doctor. She clicks on the keyboard and measures with her mouse, moving the probe to examine my pelvis. Seth moves next to me on the opposite side of the doctor to watch, a look of wonder in his eyes.

  The doctor smile and points to the screen, where in the middle is a little jumping bean. “Looks like your timeline was right. Nine weeks along, with a due date for April twentieth.”

  Seth’s hand finds mine and he squeezes it. Tears prickle behind my eyes and a chill runs up my back.

  “Sethy,” I say softly, turning to look at him. My rock n’ roll cowboy who never cries looks like he’s on the verge of tears as he looks at the baby we made. Small. Tiny. Fragile. And beautiful. He looks down at me and reaches his other hand to touch my cheek, fingertips so soft against my skin.

  “Thank you,” he whispers. There’s so much more than that in his eyes. This moment. I will never forget it. The shimmer in Seth’s blue depths filled with gratitude and trust, the delicate graze of his fingers, the innate understanding that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be.

  The doctor continues to type and measure, but I can’t focus on anything she says. Eventually, we’re both pulled out of our stupor when she prints the pictures and cleans up. I don’t have any time to stop Seth from speaking once he sees the ultrasound device again.

  “So,” Seth starts, looking at the doctor, a playful glint in his eyes, “it’s safe for that thing to be in her, right?” He nods to the long transducer and I groan. The doctor tries to hide her smile, eyes crinkling with age, and nods. “Then something similar in size is all good to keep going in there? It won’t hurt the baby?” I pull away from him and curse under my breath. He shoots me an innocent look. “What? It’s a serious question. I’m not trying to traumatize the kid.”

  “Do not talk for the rest of the time we’re here, Seth.”

  The doctor grins as she answers Seth. “If you’re asking if you can have sex with your wife, the answer is yes. The baby will be fine. In fact, with all the extra hormones, your wife’s libido may be heightened in this trimester.”

  Seth’s eyes find mine and his lips curve into an adorable Cheshire grin. I bite my lip and look away, pretending not to notice Seth’s hand making idle circles on my thigh or the rush of heat he creates between them.

  After Dr. Rosin goes over some safety and health tips, she finishes the appointment and hands me a prescription for nausea medicine. She leaves and I pull down my black and white chevron patterned dress, walking up to Seth and smacking his chest. He laughs, grabbing my hands, and pulls me into him. His hand slides down my back, hips, backside, reaching the hem of my dress and tracing the skin on the back of my thigh.

  A shiver races up my back, and Seth doesn’t try to hide his satisfied smirk. “I think we should test the good doc’s theory,” he says.

  I place a small kiss against his jaw and pull back to meet his stare. “One of these days, Seth, I am going to knock you the hell out.” I pull away and reach into his pocket to grab my panties.

  “Is it weird that that turns me on?” He leans against the door, crossing his boots at his ankles and his arms across his lean chest. Biting my cheek to hide a smile, I glare at him. “’Cause I’m so turned on thinking about it.”

  Refusing to reply, I shake my head and grab my purse. Seth, of course, doesn’t take the hint.

  “Hell, even knocked out I’d be—”

  “Do not finish that sentence.” I point my finger in his face.

  “Baby,” he croons, scorching my skin with the trail of his fingers on my jaw, “I’m so fucking hard for you right now.”

  Yes, I’m a shame to all feminists out there. I look down. And I see the outline of his impressive length through his dark jeans. And like the loser I am, I make a strangled noise in the back of my traitorous throat.

  Seth hums and grins knowingly. His hips rock into mine, and for a moment, I see stars. “I saw that. I knew you’d like what you saw.” His fingers move down the valley in my chest and he strokes his thumb on the underside of my breast. Nerves explode like a goddamn firework show, and he’s not even touching my skin. “Now, let’s move this peep show over there so I can give you an even more thorough ex—”

  I cut him off before he can continue. “Don’t you dare!” I smack his chest and walk to the door.

  “Come on, let me rock your world at our baby’s first—”

  “I swear to god, Seth, I’m going to punch you in your balls just to see how small they can get.”

  “I rather like my balls, please don’t.” Before I open the door, he gives me a thoughtful look. “And for the record, my balls are average size. I looked it up on WebMD.”

  “Oh. My. God.”

  “And my penis, as we both know, is way above av—”

  My finger is in front of his nose and his eyes cross. “If you know what’s best for you, do not continue.”

  Hiding the ever-present grin I have when I’m around Seth, I walk out the door. He falls into stride with me, laughing his husky, honey-dripping laugh and wraps an arm around my shoulders.

  “And stop winking at all the freaking nurses, Seth.”

  He looks down, his smile downright devious. “Oh, you saw that?” Like he wasn’t obvious with the over exaggerated head nods and clicking noise he makes with each wink. “Is my pregnant and super moody fiancée jealous?”

  I bark out a laugh. “Hardly. None of them would put up with your shit.”

  We get to the car and he twirls me in a circle. “Well duh. That’s why you’re my soulmate. There’s only one person who could handle all this awesomeness. It’s always been you.”

  I let him kiss me then even though I try to stay irritated. That’s Seth, though. We bicker and pick on each other but at the core of our beings, nothing can penetrate the underlying affection we share. So, yes, he’s a cocky bastard who loves to embarrass me, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing about it.

  Chapter 10

  Josie

  Since my doctor is in Raleigh, I beg Seth to take me to a local coffee shop before we go home. After picking up my prescription, he drives to Mr. Beany’s Coffee and parks in front of the small brick café.

  He holds my hand tightly in his. “You can sit in the car. I’ll go in and get it.”

  I tilt my head to the side and arch my brows. “Yeah, right. You’ll come out with tea and pretend it was an accident.”

  He doesn’t deny it
and gets out to walk with me. For a moment, I question my judgment in coming in the café. The smell of coffee grounds fills my nose, potent and rich. My hand goes to my stomach as soon as we step inside and Seth turns to make sure I’m okay. Trying not to breathe through my nose, I force myself to get in line.

  “If you can’t even handle the smell, how do you suppose you’ll be able to drink this thing?”

  “It’s the only place around that has it. Screw my stomach.”

  Seth rolls his eyes, no doubt preparing to say I told you so later. He orders a smoothie and I order an Italian Affogato, and we stand to the side as we wait for them to make it. Ice cream drowned in coffee? Hell to the yes.

  Focused on my breathing and keeping Seth’s hand from constantly grabbing my ass, I barely notice the name the barista calls to get their drinks. It’s not until I look at the counter to see if our drinks are almost finished that I notice Blake Porter with a carrying box of coffee drinks, back muscles rippling through his perfectly-fit, grey, dress shirt, tall and confident. When he turns around, his eyes find mine, and I swallow, my throat suddenly making it painful to breathe.

  Although he lives in Raleigh, I sure as hell didn’t expect to bump into him while we were here. I mean the city is … well, a freaking city. This shouldn’t have happened.

  Then I want to smack myself. The only reason I know about this place is because it’s a couple blocks from where Blake works. Color me stupid.

  Unfazed, Blake smiles politely and walks up to us. Seth’s arm tenses around my waist, but I’m too stunned to reassure him it’s okay.

  “Hey, Josie,” he says, smiling down at me. Like nothing ever happened between us. Like he didn’t sneak into my apartment and leave a treasure hunt of his love for me behind. Like he forgot about how I aborted our baby. Like he doesn’t remember all the pain we put each other through. He nods to Seth. “Hey.”