That's a Relief (Promises, Promises Book 3)

by Victoria Klahr

  Her eyes focus on the floor, her teeth nervously chewing on her bottom lip. “I made you believe I didn’t love you so we would cancel the wedding. All on the chance that it would get Michael to back off from you. Because I’d never live with myself if something happened to you, Seth. I love you too much.”

  My breath catches, remembering that day she gave me my ring back. I remember the pure utter agony of losing her, and anger scorches my body. I grind my teeth and throw my arms out in a show of frustration.

  “What the actual fuck, Josie! Are you really fucking sitting there saying that you made me think you were in love with another fucking man, all because you thought I was too weak to protect myself? Are you fucking serious, right now?”

  “Hey!” she yells, jumping out of her chair, fire burning in her eyes.

  My Josie. My feisty sexy girl, ready to throw down with me. Well, baby, get ready, ‘cause I’m fucking livid.

  “You heard what he did to Blake. I walked into that hospital room, and I knew without a doubt that if he could do that to his own son, then he wouldn’t even blink when it came to you.”

  “So instead of being honest and letting me in on what was happening so I could make a plan to be sure we were both safe, you let me believe you were fucking Blake behind my back?”

  She pokes the middle of my chest, shooting me daggers with her eyes. “You made that assumption. You jumped right to me cheating on you with Blake and choosing him over you. How the fuck do you think that made me feel? To know you had so little faith in me that you’d think I’d hop into his bed just because he built me a stupid house.”

  I huff a disbelieving laugh, shaking my head. “You don’t get to complain about that, Jos. You’ve broken my heart way too many fucking times.”

  “But the trust we built this relationship on should have been enough for you to know that I would never do that to you.”

  “How the fuck would I know that, Jos?” I boom. “One second we’re fighting and the next I see you’re at his house. The guy I fucking despise for taking years I could have been with you away from me.” I snag my fingers in my hair, pacing in front of her. “You come back home from his house in different clothes and you had clearly taken a shower. What the fuck else was I supposed to think?”

  “You should have trusted me!” she shouts, grabbing my arm to hold me still. “Plain and simple. We formed this relationship on trust, and it really hurt that you thought I’d do that to you.”

  “You didn’t deny it!” I pull out of her grasp.

  “I’m sorry!” she yells back.

  I take a deep breath, trying to refocus on what we were talking about. This is about more than me thinking she was cheating on me. “So you broke up with me because you thought he would kill me?”

  She sighs and the bed dips as she sits on it. “Yes. I thought if I could make it look like you hated me, then he wouldn’t touch you.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell me? We could have called off the wedding anyway, and then …” I start thinking about how different everything could be if she had just told me the truth in the first place. “Fuck. I could have kept you safe!”

  Josie looks up at me, royal-blue eyes remorseful. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. You would’ve been so worried about keeping me safe that you’d forget to keep yourself safe.”

  “Are you fucking stupid?” I ask, exasperated beyond belief. “Fuck yeah, I’d put you and our baby first. But if I had known, I could have taken extra precautions to keep myself safe too!”

  “I didn’t want to put you in that position. I knew you’d take matters into your own hands and kill him for hurting me. I couldn’t let you do that.”

  I slam my fist on the nearby dresser, causing Josie to jump. “That wasn’t your fucking choice to make!” I roar, unable to stop myself. The anger erupts inside me. “That was a choice we should have made together! I’ve spent every fucking day thinking this was all my fault.” I beat my chest with my fists. “My fault! For not being good enough for you. For not protecting you. For not getting there quick enough to save our baby. But it’s your fault for keeping it from me!”

  The words feel like dirt in my mouth. Something I never should have said. I focus on her, seeing tears slither down her face, her chin trembling.

  “Dammit,” I grumble, turning my back to her.

  I run my hands through my hair over and over again. Anger is easy for me to embrace right now. I’ve had weeks of desolation to shape me into this angry monster, and I keep forgetting that this is not my enemy. Josie is sitting here, baring her soul because she loves me.

  I crouch down between her legs and put my hands on her thighs. “Jos—”

  “No,” she says, voice shaking. “You’re right, Seth. This is all my fault. I took a risk, and so far, it’s been the worst decision of my life.”

  Something cracks in my chest as I watch her take on the blame that moments ago I shouldered alone. She shakes, consumed with tears. “I’m sorry, Sethy. I’m so sorry for everything.”

  Everything shifts.

  I can’t be this person anymore. I can’t keep living my life in so much darkness. Especially when I have this girl in front of me who so stupidly risked herself because she thought it would keep me alive.

  She’s begging to love me, and I don’t want to fight her any longer. I can’t.

  The boisterous drumming from the weight and pain I’ve been feeling for so long, fades into a dull thump in the back of my skull. I let it all go.

  I exhale a long breath and grab her waist so she’s on the floor with me. She kneels across from me, but refuses to meet my eyes. I trail my hands up her arms and glide them along the column of her neck until they rest at the back of her head, thumbs grazing her chin.

  “Okay, Josie,” I say quietly, voice thick and rough as gravel. “It’s okay, baby.” She looks up, cautious hope in her eyes. “We can get through this, okay?”

  Chapter 45

  Seth

  Josie nods, her eyes puffy and her lips swollen. I pull her head to me and kiss the stream of tears down her face. She closes her eyes and places her hands on my shoulders, soft fingers reaching inside the neck of my shirt. I shiver. My core tightens as I take deep breaths, reveling in the intimate touch of her hands on my body.

  I kiss the side of her mouth, trailing my tongue along the seam of her lips. She’s too much—too delectable, too beautiful, too loving. Keeping my hands firmly planted in her hair, I hold her still and dive into her mouth, desperate to taste her and unable to hold back. She moans and fights her tongue into my mouth to move against mine.

  Pulling back, I breathe heavily as I take in her glazed eyes. Her chest heaves and her lips are even more swollen than before. I lean in and bite them before grabbing her waist and pulling her into my lap.

  “I’m so fucking sorry I treated you like shit that night you came to see me,” I mutter into the slick skin of her collar bone.

  She breathes hard and threads her fingers into my hair. “Don’t apologize for that.” She pulls on my hair until I look up into her eyes. “I shouldn’t have tried to use sex to get you back.” She brushes her lips along my hairline and down my face.

  My eyes fall shut. I snake my arm around her waist and pull her firmer into my chest. “That killed me,” I admit softly.

  Her mouth brushes mine, and she grabs my hand, placing it on the center of her chest. “You are worth so much more than that, Seth.”

  Words are powerful. They can destroy you or they can make you soar. Her words rebuild me. Shape me into the man she loves.

  I move her so she wraps her legs around my waist, and stand to lay her down on the bed. I run my hands up her sides and she shivers under my touch. I brace myself above her body and dip my hip to press against hers. She moans and closes her eyes.

  I steal the moan right out of her mouth and kiss her, my lips pulling and sucking on hers. I kiss her hard and long, not letting up for a second.

  It feels surreal to hold he
r again. To be given this opportunity to love her again. I don’t deserve it. And maybe she doesn’t, either, but here we are. Never able to pull apart.

  I break away to kiss my way down her neck and then to her ear. Apologies and regret burn inside me.

  “Jos,” I mumble into her ear.

  “Yes?” she breathes, her hands tugging at the hem of my shirt until I pull it up and over my head. I fall back down and rest my head against hers.

  “I should have come to see you in the hospital. I let my pain and anger hold me back, and I’m so sorry.”

  Her fingers play with the piercings in my nipples, and I moan, grinding against her hips. “That killed me,” she says, repeating my earlier words.

  I swallow hard and cup her cheek in my hand. “Mom called and told me Dad died when you woke up. I was going to see you and say fuck it to all the bullshit you told me about calling off the wedding. I didn’t care, but then my dad was dead and I didn’t see the point of coming to see you when I bring nothing but pain to everyone I love.”

  Josie’s eyes fill with tears and she shakes her head. “Sethy, you bring nothing but love and happiness to my life.” She pushes on my chest and crawls on top of me.

  “The last thing he told me was that he was proud of me the night he picked me up from the police station. But I killed someone and wasn’t there to save you from Michael again, and I didn’t feel like there was anything to be proud of. The next thing I know, the baby is dead. Then he’s dead. And I felt fucking worthless.”

  Her tears fall on my lips and she bends down to kiss me again. “You are not worthless,” she presses. “I understand why you didn’t come, but don’t ever take on the blame for what happened.”

  She leans back on her heels and pulls the dress up and over her body. She grabs my hand and places it on her stomach. My breath catches, first at the sight of her beautiful body, and then as my fingers run over the scar marring her smooth skin.

  “Jos,” I whisper, voice thick. I look down at the middle of her stomach and trace the long jagged scar with trembling fingertips.

  Josie’s hand covers mine. “You did not do this to me. You saved me from a fate so much worse than what happened.” She moves my hand up her thighs, and I watch as our hands glide over other tiny scars across her body. Up her legs, along her arm, over her chest, on her neck.

  My breath is uneven and my jaw aches as I try to hold back the anger and desire to kill him again for what he did to her.

  “You will always be my hero, Seth. Not once, but twice you have saved me from that monster, and twice I would have been dead if you weren’t always coming to my rescue.”

  I keep my eyes on the white scars lining her body, my throat stinging. Hero? “How many?” I ask, tracing each one with my fingers.

  “Twenty-six,” she whispers, closing her eyes in reaction to my touch. “Including my stomach.”

  I suck in a sharp breath. Twenty-six? I lean up on my elbows and kiss the ones I see along the tops of her breasts, each scar a slice of white against her bronzed skin. How many scars does this beautiful girl have deep inside her?

  “I keep replaying how I shot and killed him over and over again,” I mumble against her taut body. “I keep telling myself how despicable it was of me to take someone’s life into my own hands.” I sit up and slide my hands up her back.

  She looks down at me, the tears never-ending. “I never wanted you to make that decision, Seth. I knew you would have a hard time with it,” she says softly, holding onto my shoulders. “But I’m so freaking glad you did, because I would never have had the chance to be in your arms again.” She kisses my mouth and pulls back too soon. “I wouldn’t be alive if you hadn’t.”

  I kiss her back, holding her tight to me. Solid and beautiful and alive. “I’d rather be insane than live in a world you didn’t live in anymore,” I say thickly, breaking away.

  “You’re not crazy, Seth,” she says for the second time today, her lips tilting upward.

  “Debatable,” I grumble, shifting her onto her back. I tug on her panties until she’s naked under me and swallow hard.

  “I’d do it all again, you know,” I say, pulling my eyes way from her perfect body to search her lust-filled eyes. “I’ll live with the nightmares, the voices, and the blame all over again if it means you’re breathing.” I bend down to kiss the scar at her stomach. “But never again, will I let you go,” I promise against her skin. “I will love you forever, Pussycat.”

  Before she can form another word, I place my hands on either side of her thighs, pushing them open so I can dive in and taste her.

  She cries out as my tongue slides inside her and then traces the pulsing bundle at her center. I’m relentless and needy, stealing every taste I can, drinking every drop that comes out of her. “Taste so fucking good,” I mumble, pulling back enough to glide two fingers inside her tight body. “Mmm,” I groan and go back to tasting her.

  “Seth,” she moans, gripping my hair until it stings. Her hips grind against my mouth. Fucking sexy.

  My heart pounds harder and faster as I feel her body responding to my tongue and hands. She’s so lost to the sensations, that she claws her fingernails into my back. That glorious pain is welcome compared to the pain I’ve been trying to inflict on myself recently.

  Yes, I’ll take the stinging scalp, bloodied back, and bite marks from the sexiest woman I’ve ever tasted and loved and worshipped. So that’s what I do. I worship her body because it’s been too long. Because for the first time in a long time, I don’t hear the voice in my head telling me this is wrong and that I don’t deserve her. In a matter of hours, Josie was able to claw her way through my pain and seat herself right back to where she belonged all along.

  “Seth!” she screams, trying to close her thighs against the coming orgasm I feel clenching around my fingers.

  “Mmm,” I moan. My mouth moves up her body, placing open kisses all over her skin. I kiss every scar I see, hoping to take away each bad memory she has related to them. “So fucking beautiful,” I whisper into her ear. My fingers milk her ecstasy, and I use my other hand to work the bra off her body.

  While she moans and shivers, I work my mouth to one hard nipple, sucking it into my mouth. I tease and suck and lick each breast while stroking the inside of her pussy. Her back arches off the bed, her body breaking out in shivers as she screams through another orgasm. I pull back so I can watch her and press a palm against the strain in my jeans.

  I get off the bed and shuck my jeans and boxers before climbing back over top of her. Her hair is wild against the sheets, eyes glazed and sated, hands lazily tracing the tattoos on my ribs, a small smile creeping on her lips.

  I brace myself above her, letting her explore, and dipping my hips against hers every time her touch becomes too sensual. Her fingertips graze the new tattoo on my left forearm, and she squints to read it.

  She looks up quickly, eyes expressive and breathing rapidly. She pushes my chest and climbs on top of me, straddling my hips so I’m groaning as I feel her heat against my dick. “Fuck,” I moan, closing my eyes, my hips reaching to get inside her.

  “I want that,” she whispers, dipping her head to my neck and kissing the quickly beating pulse at my throat.

  I grip her waist tightly, turning my head to take her mouth. We move in perfect synchronization, lust pouring into every swipe of our tongue and pull of our lips. We kiss like we can’t get enough of each other, and fuck, let’s be honest. I can’t.

  She pulls back abruptly, and it take me a few seconds to catch up to reality and look at her. She watches me, pretty dark-blue eyes intense.

  “I love you,” she says, finally.

  My breath shudders out of me, and I sit up, grabbing her face between my hands. I take a few deep breaths, searching her eyes. “Say it again,” I say thickly.

  “I’ll love you forever,” she says. Before the words leave her lips, I trail my hands back to her waist and slide her body down my aching erection.

&n
bsp; Her forehead falls against mine, and she lets me take a moment to breathe—to remember who I am and where I am. Because all I see are fucking stars.

  “Again,” I whisper, heart stuttering.

  “I love you, Seth.” She moves her hips against mine, rocking back and forth, her pussy a vice against my cock. I moan, kissing her shoulder and hands moving to cup her breasts. “Only you, baby.”

  She moves slow and steady, repeating those beautiful words over and over again. Words I never thought I’d believe coming from her lips, but I do. I really do fucking believe her. Because with each stroke of her pussy against my cock, with every kiss she places on my lips and cheek and jaw, with every look she gives me, she starts healing my broken soul.

  She pieces me back together and even when I didn’t think I could love her more, I do.

  I adore her.

  I slip my hands up her back and hold her to me, body tightening as she works me until I’m ready to burst.

  “Fuck yeah, Jos. Just like that, baby. You’re going to make me come.”

  She moans again, bouncing harder on top of me. When I do come, she does too, screaming my name into my chest.

  I yell her name, too. Partly in pure rapture and partly in desperation.

  Minutes after our breathing evens, we still clutch each other. Too afraid to let go. Too lost in the moment.

  We just … hold on.

  Chapter 46

  Josie

  My phone blares Britney Spears as I tiptoe back into the house. Sliding the book into my left arm, I lock the door and pull out the ringing phone from my robe pocket.

  “Hello,” I say, smiling and leaning against the wall in the hallway.

  “Well, well, well,” Brooke singsongs from the other end. “No answer for twenty-four hours. What could my best friend be up to?”

  “Nothing,” I say evasively. Just having amazing sex all night and talking until the sun came up. “What about you? Is Brandon still alive?”

  “Barely,” she grumbles. “But we’re not talking about that asshat. We’re talking about you and how you went to go fight for your man and haven’t been seen since.”