Resisting Redemption

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Resisting Redemption

  Resisting Redemption

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Resisting Redemption

  A Clearwater County Romance

  By

  Bonnie R. Paulson

  Resisting Redemption

  An emotionally broken physical therapist and a man who’s broken in more ways than one, and their pasts which try to drown their chance at happiness…

  With her heart at war with her mind, Lisa’s main goal is to keep herself emotionally detached from her clients and their families. She has nothing else to offer them but professionalism and a hard work ethic. Taking on a new client proves to be a challenge and Lisa is up for challenges. Love is the last thing she expects to find, especially with her past revolting against her future.

  The only love Ryan’s heart has room for is the love he has for his motherless son’s. But, when he finds himself yearning for Lisa, Ryan has to convince himself and her that they are exactly what the other needs to start healing from their past.

  Will Ryan and Lisa’s stubbornness destroy their future before either of them can accept the true meaning of love?

  Lisa

  Chapter 1

  The wedding invitation glared at Lisa from the clipboard sitting on the seat beside her. Or maybe Lisa glared at the shiny copper and blue ribbons embossed on the cover. Either way, there was no happiness about the personal relationship the invite suggested.

  Shake it off, Lisa. Heading out to Mr. Noland’s house to work with his son, Jesse, had become the highlight of her week. The fact that Mr. Noland made her pulse race didn’t hurt anything either.

  Tapping her leather thumb ring on the vinyl steering wheel cover, Lisa ran her tongue over her teeth. She’d worked too hard to get where she was to let some… some… invite get in her way. When had she given the impression that she was searching for family? And sisters for crying out loud. Lisa had a hard time considering them sisters. Growing up, well, it’d always been easier to attribute even Mary to be from the same sperm donor, but never to categorize her as a sister. Or any of them.

  But Mary.

  And Sara Beth.

  And Rosie.

  All three melded into a different time and a different place than she wanted to be.

  Fresh clippings lined the roadway and Lisa inhaled the cleansing scent as if it could do something to erase the irritation at being tricked. Lisa couldn’t prove that Sara Beth and Rosie had manipulated her into being Sara Beth’s physical therapist so they could trap her to talk. Not yet anyway.

  None of it mattered. Playing games wasn’t her style. She made her own rules – all the way down to changing her last name so no one would recognize her on paper or by reputation. No one could find her. And she needed that.

  Desperately.

  Not even Charlie.

  Especially Charlie.

  He couldn’t find her. He couldn’t.

  She couldn’t handle the repercussions on her heart.

  One of the bordering ranches on the west side of Clearwater County, Noland’s land had a carefully groomed appeal to someone like Lisa. She liked things neat and clean and controlled. Anything out of line and she had to rein in her abject terror. The calming sensation that flooded over her every time she visited could be due to the orderliness of the ranch.

  Even physical therapy was a form of controlled chaos. She molded someone to help them regain what they’d lost or helped them find something they didn’t know they were missing.

  Sara Beth had been a terrific challenge. When Lisa had started at Rourke Ranch, she’d been excited at the prospect of such a promising patient, but irritated because an ex-fling, Johnny Mayfair of the Montana Rodeo Mayfairs, also worked there.

  When she found out he was in some kind of relationship with Sara Beth, Lisa forced herself to ignore the awkwardness of the situation. The promise of the learning experience, the chance to help that poor girl walk again, all of the hope involved was more than she was willing to turn down.

  Plus, she hadn’t been suing Johnny for sexual harassment – not exactly – it just seemed that way when the bastard Big Man Mayfair told everyone she was. Heck, she’d been suing him! The jerk had very inebriated fingers, even when he hadn’t been drinking, and they liked to touch things that didn’t belong to them.

  The sleekly maintained drive, bordered by sentient standing river rock and oak trees, waited in serenity for anyone to show up. Soon the season would turn to fall and Lisa would give anything to see the colors along the driveway as the leaves changed.

  Everything with Johnny and his family was yesterday’s rodeo. Lisa didn’t work for Sara Beth or anyone else on Rourke Ranch and that suited her just fine.

  Disembarking the truck, Lisa swung her bag to the side and up her arm to rest on her shoulder. She absorbed the peacefulness as a breeze picked up strands of her dark brown hair and caressed it back to her shoulders.

  She strived to look good, even though she hated the time it took. Nothing was wrong with how she took care of herself. Lisa held everything together. Maintaining her appearance had become the only weapon she’d ever needed. She made sure she always looked like a million bucks. And on a good day, she even felt like it.

  But on a day like today, when she had her half-sister’s wedding invitation mocking her from her work pile, she couldn’t shake the sensation that something was chasing her. Whatever it was, it didn’t care how put together she was or how well she fit her size eight jeans.

  “Lisa!” Jesse’s exuberance dimmed the green pasture and brilliant orange poppies growing alongside the fence. He waved from the path leading around the barn to the back patio. “I’m back here. Come eat with me.” Turning, he braced himself on the foam-covered handles of his walker and pushed himself forward, his feet turning and rolling as he struggled to keep them facing forward.

  She smiled, following his awkward gait. Easily catching him, she leaned toward his shoulder and arched her eyebrow. “I see you’re leaning a bit more on the right than the left. We need to work on that.”

  “By we, you mean me. Right?” His go-get-‘em attitude was contagious.

  She fell into step beside him, a bit slower than she was used to walking, but not an uncomfortable pace either. Half-shrugging, she glanced around the spacious patio set up to accommodate Jesse’s walker and the wheelchair he’d worked so hard to be free from. “No, I meant we. I’m here with you and I’ll work beside you. You know that.” She nodded toward the table where four plates had been set up for lunch. “Where’s your dad?”

  A small butterfly flickered inside her stomach at the chance she’d get to see the aloof Mr. Noland. His coloring reminded her of the local Salish tribe but then she’d see his eyes – the startling green of emeralds – and she’d be searching for some ethnicity that would accommodate such a mix. Because as much as she knew about his past, his green eyes taunted her, telling her there was so much more behind their emerald depths.

  She understood genetic mixing. Wasn’t she herself a mix of outlaw and librarian?

  Jesse’s coloring was a softer contrast, more blond with brown eyes versus the rarity of the green.

  Claiming the seat beside Jesse’s, Lisa set her bag on
the ground beside her and tucked her clipboard on the table next to her plate. “Oh, I’m dying of thirst. This lemonade is going to be amazing.” She lifted the glass to her lips and sipped the tart drink. If the Noland’s cook was on today, Lisa would be eating a solid meal that didn’t resemble macaroni and cheese or ramen noodles crunched together with lettuce and mayonnaise.

  “What’s that?” Jesse pointed an inquisitive finger at the copper and blue colored card on her board. “It’s pretty.”

  Gazing at the stationary and jumbled words claiming Michael Rourke and Rosie Scott had decided to tie the knot in just a number of days, Lisa cleared her throat. “It’s just a wedding invitation.”

  His eyes lit up. “Whose? I haven’t been to a wedding before. My dad says I shouldn’t be so interested in them, but…” Jesse glanced down as he situated himself in his seat and dragged it forward. He peeked around behind him then lowered his voice. “I want to be able to walk down the aisle and then turn and wait for my bride. They do that on TV, you know. And they don’t have legs like mine.” He scrunched his lips to the side like he tried not crying about it. “It’d be neat though.”

  Taken aback, Lisa leaned over her plate setting, reaching for his shoulder. “You’re ten, Jesse. You shouldn’t be worried about walking at your own wedding yet. Remember what I said, practicing for your goals is just as important as reaching them, right?”

  He nodded, lifting his hope-filled gaze. “Do you really think I can walk normally? Without my walker or cane or something?”

  Did she? With as little therapy as he’d had before that year, Jesse as a kid born with spina bifida shouldn’t have as much progress as he already did – at least not that fast – but Jesse defied the odds daily.

  Lisa opted for complete honesty. He expected that from her, heck, most people did. He deserved it. “You know what? I’m going to tell it to you straight. Anything is possible. It’s ninety percent attitude in getting there, right? Without the right attitude, you’re more likely to…?” She let the question dangle, while she waited.

  “Fail.” He nodded, pressing his lips into a determined line. “Okay, I won’t give up then. So, are you going to the wedding? Whose wedding is it?”

  She drew her eyebrows together. “You know, I don’t know how to describe her. She doesn’t fit a niche yet.”

  “What does that mean? How do you know her?” He rubbed his nose, all his attention focused on Lisa.

  She straightened in her seat and cracked her knuckles. “It means I’m not sure where she fits in my life yet – if she fits – and I met her on another physical therapy appointment. I actually found out recently that we’re related.”

  “Wow, how?” His eyes widened.

  “She’s my half-sister. Well, she claims to be, but I don’t know.” She didn’t want to go into further detail, not because she was against getting to know the Scott sisters – much – but more like she didn’t understand herself what was going on. How did she fit them into her life when she didn’t even know if she wanted them there?

  Suddenly dreamy-eyed, Jesse looked out over the field dotted with dark brown and black bison – the staple for the ranch’s income. “I’d give anything for a brother or sister – even a half one.”

  Lisa patted his shoulder. She hadn’t considered that. She’d always been the only child and had never disliked it – even while she knew about one sister – that sister had been oblivious to anything. To instantly have sisters who wanted to be family didn’t seem realistic when she’d wished for that exact thing all while growing up. “Well, maybe you’ll get one someday. Look at me.” She ended on a laugh.

  “For that to happen, Ms. Trinkett, I would have to be married.” Ryan Noland strode across the smooth cement of the patio floor. His well-stacked jeans over dark boots worked well with his black and blue flannel shirt stretched taut across his shoulders. Dark black hair had been styled back from his high forehead. His lazy smile as he reached his son had Lisa’s tummy turning cartwheels.

  Shifting on her seat, Lisa maintained her professional composure. “Of course, Mr. Noland. My apologies. We were just discussing my newly discovered half-sisters and how Jesse would like siblings of his own.” For some reason, she never could get completely comfortable with the man. Like he held her at a formal distance on purpose, never allowing her to get too close or even close enough for first names.

  “Lisa’s been invited to her sister’s wedding.” Jesse turned back to Lisa. “Are you going? What are you going to give as a present? Do you think they’ll have cake?”

  “Probably not, Jesse. And if they’re getting married, they have to have cake. Why else would anyone get married?” Lisa laughed, ruffling Jesse’s hair as he giggled with her.

  “The Rourke wedding this weekend? I got an invite, too. Sounds like it will be a fun affair.” Mr. Noland settled across from Lisa and pointed at the empty place setting. “Who’s that for, Jesse? Someone else coming I don’t know about?” He winked and unfurled his cloth napkin to place in his lap. He avoided meeting Lisa’s eyes, focusing on his son.

  His indifference stung, but it wasn’t the first time and Lisa didn’t need the stress that would accompany a possible flirtation with a patient’s father.

  Jesse shrugged. “Grandpa’s supposed to be here soon, too.”

  Mr. Noland visibly tensed and Lisa raised her eyebrows, sipping her drink again to cover her shock. Word around the county was Mr. Noland’s father – an elder in the Salish tribe – didn’t speak to his son because of his choice to live off reservation.

  Hopefully, by the time the older Mr. Noland arrived, she’d be finished with Jesse and on her way out of there. She needed family drama in her life about as much as she needed one of the Noland Ranch bison to sit on her.

  Too late for wishes as a different truck rolled into place beside hers. The engine cut and a man that could only be identified as an older version of Mr. Noland stepped from the cab.

  The younger Mr. Noland rose from his seat. He set his napkin on the table, his hands clenched into fists.

  As he walked toward his father, Lisa leaned toward Jesse. “Did you do this?”

  “Maybe?” He chewed his lower lip and watched anxiously from over her shoulder.

  Lisa closed her eyes. “Oh, Jesse, I hope this doesn’t blow up in your face.” She pretended like nothing was happening. Like when she was little and her mom let that man abuse her in front of her daughter. He’d never loved them, but when he wanted in, nothing would convince Lisa’s mom to keep him out.

  Even if Lisa did have a fling with anyone, she’d never be as attached as she had been to Charlie – even if her stomach did flip-flop around him.

  She was smarter than her mother. Smarter than all of them.

  Ryan

  Chapter 2

  Seeing Lisa had become the best part of his week, and Ryan didn’t even get to talk to her that much. Okay, he didn’t try to. The woman had more going on than her high-maintenance exterior let on.

  Having his father – the great, highly esteemed elder of the local Salish tribe – at Noland Ranch for the first time in three years made Ryan more than a little nauseous. He offered his hand to shake and inclined his head as he reached the older man on the edge of the lawn.

  Gruffly, his father patted his shoulder and walked past him, to the table where Jesse sat. He nodded at Lisa and claimed his seat across from his grandson.

  Jesse said something and for the first time in what had to be forever, Ryan blinked at the smile that split the somber etching of his father’s face.

  He returned to his seat and picked up his fork. His father cleared his throat and bowed his head. Ryan rolled his eyes and folded his arms. But try as he might, he couldn’t tune out the prayer his father gave for the food. It’d been a long time since he’d enjoyed the warmth of his father’s spirituality.

  Even as irritation ebbed, Ryan glanced at Jesse at the conclusion of the prayer. His son caught his eye and squinted one eye in Ryan’s dire
ction as if to ask if it was okay. Ryan nodded. He’d give the time to his son. Just because he and his own father didn’t get along, certainly didn’t mean that Jesse and his grandfather couldn’t have a relationship.

  As long as Ryan kept his mouth shut, the short hour passed with the attention placed on Jesse, where it belonged.

  His father left after the meal. Hugging Jesse, he spoke, his scratchy voice carried to Ryan. “Don’t worry about your blond, Jesse. It will grow dark.”

  Equally somber, Jesse nodded. “Thank you, Grandfather.”

  And then as fast as he’d come, he left and the tension relented.

  Ryan excused himself and escaped to his office where he could see the field of bison as well as the patio where he’d left Lisa and Jesse to work. He couldn’t stop staring at her, wondering if maybe she had freckles underneath the light layer of makeup or if her hair color really was deep enough brown to resemble brownies.