The Season: Rush (Austin Arrows #1)

by Nicole Edwards

  41

  Ellie

  I’m not sure what’s wrong with Kingston, but he looks distraught. He probably looks worse than I do right now, and I’m not sure why that is. When he doesn’t answer my question, I know he’s not telling me something, but for the life of me, I can’t imagine what secret he might be keeping. It’s almost as though the mention of James’s name doesn’t come as a surprise to him.

  “Kingston? Please talk to me.” My nerves are frazzled as it is; this silent thing he has going on is making it worse. Just hearing Noelle say James’s name has put me on edge. It has me clinging to that edge by my fingernails. According to Noelle, he didn’t say much on the phone. Well, not much after Noelle interrogated him, trying to get him to prove who he was. Once he did that, he simply told her that Bianca found him, and he was interested in talking to me regarding our daughter.

  Our daughter.

  Strange how that one word sounds so very wrong, but if this is really James, he could very well be the other part of this parenting duo that created the most incredible kid on the planet.

  But I have to keep my thoughts straight here. I have nothing to go on other than a phone call from a stranger—a stranger I didn’t even get to talk to myself. I don’t know the first thing about this guy. It’s been thirteen or so years since I’ve seen him, and what little time we spent together, I assure you, we hadn’t been talking.

  But according to Noelle, he remembered that night in Vegas rather vividly. She’d been there, right up to the point when I went back to my room with him, so she knows how it all went down. According to her, he is definitely that same man.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kingston approach. When he sits down beside me, I can’t help but lean into him. He’s a comforting presence in this rocky moment, and I need him here with me. I need him to ground me, to keep me safe.

  Not that I think James will hurt me. I don’t think that at all.

  But I don’t like surprises, and other than finding out I was pregnant at twenty-one by a guy I never expected to see again, this has to be the biggest surprise of my life.

  “I thought you knew,” Kingston mutters.

  Pulling my head from his chest, I peer over at him. “Knew about what?”

  He doesn’t meet my gaze, which has my insides churning. His Adam’s apple moves slowly in his throat, and I realize he’s gearing up to tell me something. Something I don’t think I’m going to like.

  “Bianca borrowed my phone at practice a couple of months ago…” Kingston pauses as he wipes his palms on his pants. “The next day, when I was looking at it, I noticed there was a Facebook profile open.” His eyes dart my way briefly, then move away just as quickly. “It was Bianca’s. Her last post was a public post, stating that she was looking for her father. She listed out the details of what you’ve apparently told her, along with a picture of you from when you were twenty-one or so.”

  I put more distance between us so I can stare at him. Maybe I’m not understanding correctly.

  “That’s not possible,” I say. “I monitor her Facebook and her Twitter account.” And I do. It’s another agreement that Bianca and I have. In order for her to have social media accounts, she had to agree to let me have the passwords so I could supervise them. I religiously check them at least twice a week to keep an eye on her. I don’t want her to be preyed on by people on the Internet.

  “That’s what you told me,” he replies. “Which is why I didn’t say anything. I figured you knew.”

  “And you didn’t care enough to ask?” I’m defensive, yes.

  Kingston narrows his eyes. “And say what? Hey, Ellie, why didn’t you mention you’re looking for Bianca’s dad?” He takes a breath. “I didn’t think you wanted me to know. After all, it’s not really my business.”

  Not his business? Is he serious?

  I think it is—or it would be if we were really dating, I guess. Since this is pretend…

  I decide not to argue with him. I’m pissed at Kingston for not saying something because who knows how long I’ve gone without knowing my daughter was actively looking for her father.

  He looks at me once more, and the lines around his eyes soften. “I thought you knew. I figured you were helping her find him. Which I completely understand. Why wouldn’t she want to know him?”

  “I thought you cared about us,” I shriek. I sound a little irrational, sure. I can’t help it. I think it’s easier to place blame on Kingston than to accept that my daughter has set out to find her father—behind my back. I sort of understand her reasoning, but … it hurts.

  Yes. That’s what it is. I’m hurt. My own daughter didn’t tell me she was looking for her father. She doesn’t trust me enough to ask for my help and … I take a deep breath. This can’t be happening. First the pink hair, then … this. It’s like a knife to the back.

  “Ellie, don’t do this,” Kingston says, his tone gruff. It’s like a warning. As though he’s trying to get me to pay attention to what I’m doing.

  Well, I know what I’m doing. “You knew my daughter was searching for her father, and you didn’t bother to tell me.” I get to my feet and glare down at him. “I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you wouldn’t even bother to mention it. You’re fucking me, but you can’t ask about how my kid’s doing?”

  Kingston’s gaze slams into mine and he holds my stare. “I thought you knew,” he repeats, his words gruff.

  “How can you say that?” I’m losing it, I can feel it. “And okay, fine! Say I did know. Why wouldn’t you ask me about it? It’s okay for you to fuck me, but you can’t talk to me? You can’t even bother to ask how things are going with the search for her father? This is a big deal, Kingston!” I can feel everything slipping away from me. “Does Spencer know?”

  He shrugs. “I didn’t tell him. I figured if the three of you were working this out, trying to find her dad, you didn’t want me to know because you never said anything.”

  “Why?” I lift my arms and let them drop, completely baffled. “Why would we do that?”

  Kingston gets to his feet. He’s so big, filling the small space of my living room with his overwhelming presence. For a second, I think he’s going to head for the door, and my stomach knots. I don’t want him to leave. Not like this.

  This isn’t his fault. I have to remind myself of that. I’ve been looking forward to seeing him and now … I’ve ruined our entire night because of my freak out.

  Kingston takes a step closer to me and I swallow hard, never looking away from his beautiful face. I can see he’s got a battle brewing; it’s all there in his dark eyes. When he reaches out for me, I allow him to pull me close, and I throw my arms around his waist, snuggling against the hard planes of his chest.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he mumbles. “Honest to God, Ellie, I thought you knew. I didn’t know how to approach it. Didn’t want you to think I was pushing you if you weren’t ready to talk.”

  I nod. I need to spend more time thinking about that. I hate that he didn’t tell me, that he didn’t feel it was important enough to question. We’ve always been so close. Something like that… I can’t imagine not telling him. He’s like family in that regard. He’s been Spencer’s best friend for so long… How could he think we wouldn’t tell him?

  Kingston’s heart drums beneath my ear and I focus on the sound. I need to calm down. I have to work through this. But not right now. Not tonight. I don’t want to think about it until I have a chance to actually talk to James myself.

  I pull back and look up at Kingston to find him still staring down at me. He looks as upset as I feel, but I’m not sure why that is. Again, that’s something I don’t want to think about right now. I simply want him to comfort me. In a way only Kingston can.

  I lift my hands up and cup his face, feeling the roughness of his beard against my palms. The man is so freaking beautiful. Others may not think so because of all the scars from his years playing hockey, but I do. The way he looks at me, e
ven when he’s as confused as I am… It makes me feel things I never thought I’d feel. Certainly not with him.

  I remain motionless as his head comes down toward mine. I know he’s going to kiss me and I’m prepared for it. Hell, I’m hoping for it.

  “God, Ellie,” he whispers as his mouth claims mine.

  Within seconds, the rest of the world fades away, and the only thing that’s left is this. Kingston’s mouth on mine, his strong arms wrapping around me, crushing me to him, his intoxicating scent flooding my senses. I can’t get enough.

  Rather than waste unnecessary time heading for my bedroom, I urge Kingston back to the couch. When he sits, he pulls me with him and I straddle his lap, never pulling my mouth from his. I love the way his tongue claims mine, the way his hands clutch me as though he never wants to let go. I feel safe with this man.

  I’m not sure that’s a good thing considering the situation, but I can’t bring myself to care right now. This has been building for far too long. We’ve given in too many times to turn back now.

  While he cups my face and deepens the kiss, I slide my hands down between our bodies and work the button free on his slacks. I don’t want to wait anymore. I need to feel him inside me.

  I need to feel all of him.

  And I don’t want anything between us when that happens.

  Kingston

  Touching Ellie is the only thing I can focus on. That and the feel of her lips on mine, the soft moans escaping her as she works the buttons loose on my shirt as I take over freeing my dick from my pants.

  Everything that has taken place in the last half hour has my mind racing with thoughts I’m sure I shouldn’t be thinking. I can’t deny that I’m scared. Terrified actually. No one knows how this will play out once Ellie does talk to this James guy. If he really is Bianca’s father like he says … where the fuck will that leave us?

  Fuck. I don’t even want to think about that, about how all of this might already be falling apart...

  “Take the dress off,” I mumble against her mouth, needing to see her.

  As I lift my hips to push down my slacks, Ellie sits up and quickly pulls the slinky material over her head, tossing it to the floor behind her. I’m momentarily mesmerized by the silky turquoise bra beneath and the matching thong. I don’t move for what feels like forever, drinking her in with my eyes. In fact, I’m so caught up in looking at her that it takes me a second to realize she has pulled her panties to the side and she’s grinding her slick pussy against my dick.

  “Fuck.” She feels so good. So wet, so smooth, so hot.

  “I want to feel you inside me,” she whispers as she brings her mouth back to mine.

  I reach for my wallet to retrieve a condom, but Ellie stops my hand before I can get it.

  Her eyes meet mine and they’re serious. “I want to feel all of you.”

  I swallow hard as her words register. “Are you sure?”

  Her smile is slow and sweet. “I’m on the pill.”

  There’s a level of trust between us that takes care of the other concerns, so I don’t feel it necessary to announce that I’m clean or question whether she is. I know this woman and she knows me.

  Goddamn. Ellie Kaufman is going to be the death of me.

  Without taking a breath, I reach for my cock and guide it to her entrance, my eyes still locked with hers. And when she sinks down on me, the warmth of her pussy sheaths my cock, causing the air to rush from my lungs. I’m assaulted by the pleasure of her smooth walls gripping me, her soft hands gliding over my chest as she takes me inside her body.

  “Fuck, baby.” I reach for her head, pulling her mouth to mine and crushing our lips together.

  Ellie starts moving her hips, rocking back and forth on my dick, and I groan low in my chest.

  Somehow I manage to release her when she sits up. Her eyes are bright and clear as she stares back at me. I reach for her hips, never looking away from her. I want to see every emotion on her face. I want to know what she’s feeling, and the best way to do that is to read her expressions.

  “Oh, God, Kingston… So good.”

  I lift her hips, then lower her down on me again. Up, down. Up, down. I’m blinded by the intensity. The heat of her cunt, the desperation in her moans. She needs more, as do I, but this is pure fucking bliss and I never want it to end.

  I try my best not to think about what happens after this. What tomorrow might bring. What damage might be done to our relationship if Bianca’s dad comes back in the picture. None of that should matter right now. The only thing I should be focused on is the heaven of her body.

  “Make love to me, Kingston.”

  Something tightens in my chest. Perhaps it’s the culmination of all the powerful emotions I feel for this woman. Whatever it is, I’m lost to it. Lost to her.

  I pull myself back to the moment and focus on the slow grind of our bodies. I want to tell Ellie that I could spend the rest of my life right here, but I keep that to myself. Although I sense she might feel the same, I don’t know that for a fact.

  Again, I don’t know what tomorrow might bring.

  Her inner muscles tighten around my dick, drawing a loud growl from me. “Oh, yeah.” I focus on her face. “Just like that, Ellie. Milk my dick, baby.”

  Ellie’s eyes close briefly, but then they open again, still fixed on my face.

  “You’re so goddamn beautiful,” I whisper. “Ride my dick, baby. Take everything you need.”

  She takes over, lifting and lowering, moaning as she does. While she seductively rolls her hips, I circle her clit with my thumb, applying just enough pressure to make her moan louder. Her pace is still slow. Too slow. I need more and I know she does, too.

  Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her down to me once again as I buck my hips upward, driving deep inside her. I love her soft moans, the sharp inhales, the sweet taste of her tongue on mine.

  “Oh, yes. Kingston … more…”

  I give her more, holding her tight to me as I fuck her from underneath. Within seconds, I’m driving us both higher and higher. I know I won’t last. Without the barrier of the condom, the sensation is intense. I’m quickly losing it and I know I can’t stop until she comes, but I’m getting dangerously close.

  Pressing my lips close to her ear, I lower my voice and mumble all the dirty things I can think of, knowing how much she enjoys that. “Such a sweet, tight pussy, Ell. I love the way you feel. Love the way your pussy grips my dick. I love…” you. I can’t tell her that part, but I desperately want to.

  Another loud moan escapes her, and her fingernails dig into my shoulders as she holds on.

  “I want you to come on my dick, Ellie. Then I want to come deep inside you.”

  “Oh, God! Kingston!”

  I feel her pussy tighten. She’s so close and she’s taking me with her. I quicken my thrusts, driving in deep as I tighten my grip around her. I never want to let this woman go.

  “Come for me, Ellie,” I whisper, my words rough with emotion I hope she doesn’t notice.

  “Yes… yes…”

  I focus on how fucking good she feels against me, around me. I’m consumed by her in every imaginable way, and I know right then and there that this isn’t just sex. Maybe for her, but not for me.

  Hell, it never was really about sex for me. Not with Ellie.

  “I’m… Oh, God, Kingston… I’m coming.”

  Ellie’s body locks around me, her muscles tense as she shudders, her orgasm detonating.

  “Fuck, baby.”

  I close my eyes and give myself over to my release, following right behind her.

  Ellie

  When you’ve spent the majority of your adult life without intimate contact with a man, you would think it would take some getting used to. I don’t seem to be having a problem with it, though. At least not with Kingston. I have never had an overnight guest in my bed until him. Yet the way his arms wrap possessively around me is something I’ve never felt before, something I’ve never eve
n longed for before. I guess I never thought I would enjoy it so much, but I do.

  I definitely do.

  After we quickly cleaned up in the living room, I grabbed a bottle of water for us to share, and we moved into my bedroom, where I once again found myself taking advantage of this man. I guess you can’t really call it taking advantage since he was on board with making love again, but still. I can’t keep my hands off him. Not only because he’s a wonderful distraction, either. Having him here makes me feel safe, comfortable. As though I have someone there for me, I guess you could say.

  “What are you thinking about?” His rough baritone sounds from behind me, his breath warm against my ear.

  “You.” I figure I might as well be honest here. I long ago passed the point of no return with this man. I figure if we’re going to keep moving forward, he needs to know how I feel.

  “Yeah?”

  I nod, snuggling into him.

  “I like that you are,” he whispers and I notice a slight catch in his words.

  For the last few hours, I’ve managed to push the thought of James out of my mind. Thankfully that phone call didn’t completely ruin my night, but I know I have to deal with it sooner or later. I have to figure out what James wants, what Bianca wants. I even have to figure out what I want. I won’t know any of that until I actually sit down and have a conversation with James. And my daughter. Our daughter. I’m not sure how Kingston will feel when all of this plays out, but I’m grateful that he’s here with me now.

  At some point in the last couple of months, I’ve managed to fall for this man. Deeper than I ever imagined possible. I know that I’m not supposed to, and I should probably keep those feelings to myself, but it’s true. I have to accept it, even though I don’t have a clue what to do about it.

  “Ellie?”

  “Hmm?”

  “What are you going to do about James?”