Forged in Flames

by Harper Wylde

  “How’d it go?” Killian inquired, as he pushed off the pillar he’d been leaning against to come and meet me.

  “You mean other than humiliating?” I sighed. “I can’t help but feel like a failure, although I know this is the best decision. It’s just hard. My academic counselor looked at me with enough disappointment to rival an Italian mother.”

  Killian guffawed at my analogy and it was enough to turn my lips up into a small smile. It felt foreign on my face after yesterday’s meeting with the rebellion. The shock of the whole meeting was still ringing inside of me. Add dropping school on top of the emotions I already had roiling away inside of me, and I felt more confused and conflicted than I had in long time.

  “I know this is hard, but we all agreed that this was the best course of action. If you want to continue your studies though, baby, I will support you. Whether that’s now or later on.” Killian looped an arm around my back, pulling me into his side. At six feet plus, I often felt dwarfed by Kill, but I also found our height difference sexy and comfortable. Like right now as I sidled up to him and let him tuck me under his arm, his large body warming my side enough to stave off the cool temperatures that sent flurries of snow floating through the air.

  “I know, and I appreciate it more than I can say. I think I’m just going to need some time to process all this change.” I knew it wasn’t just school I was trying to wrap my mind around, but everything with the rebellion as well. Learning about Rini’s knowledge of the resistance had been almost as shocking as the test we’d been tasked with for our second challenge. I was feeling more than overwhelmed. I held myself back from rubbing at my breastbone to try and dislodge the weight that had settled there. It felt like a new, permanent part of my anatomy.

  As if the universe was playing a cruel joke, I gazed up just in time to see Rini walking down the sidewalk with a hopeful half smile. I looked away to compose all the emotions that swamped me before glancing back in her direction. She’d lied to me and I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel. Her involvement with the rebellion was monumental, and the fact that she’d kept it a secret hurt. I understood her need for silence on the subject, and maybe it was irrational of me, but I wished she’d been able to trust me with the news earlier. Especially once she knew I knew about it. And there was no way she didn’t know that Ciar had told us. Those two had been spending more time together lately than her and I had.

  I slowed as she approached and Killian matched his pace to mine, though the small, slow steps he had to take did look a little ridiculous coming from such a large man. Something in the way we moved reminded me of a slow wedding march down the aisle, stilted and unnatural. Had I been in a better mood, I would have smiled at the picture we made.

  “Hi,” Rini chirped, with a hopeful sweetness to her voice and a sparkle in her eyes. “I brought coffee.” She shrugged and held up the cups she carried, one in each hand from the place on campus we often frequented. “Peace offering?” Rini held out a cup, the pleading countenance that covered her face wrinkled her forehead as she waited for my response.

  Sighing, I reached for the coffee and let it warm my palm. The scent of sweet caffeine wafted toward me, steam escaping from the small hole in the lid. I breathed it in appreciatively.

  “I can’t stay mad at you, can I?” I took a sip of the scalding beverage, realizing that the heat didn’t bother me in the least. My Phoenix cooed happily at the warmth that trickled into my belly, heating me up from the inside out.

  “I’m not going to lie, I was kind of hoping that would be the case, although I suspected I’d have to splurge on a few more fancy coffees before you forgave me.”

  I pursed my lips and pretended to think about it. “Well, now that you mention it… I said I couldn’t stay mad at you… not that I forgave you.”

  “Semantics. You love me and you know it.” Rini grinned and the expression was contagious.

  “I’m not sure what all this girly shit means, but I’m guessing you’re both okay with each other again, am I right?” Killian asked, peering back and forth between us.

  We both laughed and I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, that’s about the gist of it, babe. Although I do think that Rini and I are overdue for a very in-depth girl date.” I leveled an arched eyebrow in my best friend’s direction, letting her know that while I accepted her truce, she owed me a lot in the way of an explanation.

  Rini motioned her finger in an ‘X’ over her heart. “Cross my heart, whatever you want to know… I’ll be an open book. A transparent piece of paper. A—”

  I cut her off. “I get it. You’ll tell me the truth.” I eyed her and she nodded resolutely.

  “Yeah. I think it’s time we had more of that between us.” Rini checked her watch and clicked her tongue, a habit she occasionally did when deep in thought. “Honestly, I could blow off my last class if you have time for a girl date this afternoon?” Rini looked hopeful, and I realized that I no longer had a mountain of schoolwork to get done.

  I looked at Killian, gauging his reaction. We hadn’t spent a lot of alone time together lately—other than when he was training me—and this afternoon was supposed to remedy that… at least for a few short hours until the rest of the guys returned home.

  Killian surprised me by squeezing me to his side in a hug, before he stooped over and kissed the top of my head. “You go ahead and have girl time. I can take a rain check until later.”

  His sweet gesture only endeared him to me more. Taking a risk that was so like Killian, his banded an arm around my back, pulled me close, and he hooked a finger under my chin to raise my face to his. In a bold move, he leaned down and locked his mouth against mine, blocking out the world around us.

  His lips slid effortlessly over mine and he angled us toward each other, pressing me flush against his body. Without a care for who was watching, he bent me backward, arching my body more fully into his as his tongue invaded my mouth. I groaned and met his passion, countering every dart of his tongue with one of my own. By the time he pulled away, my cheeks were mantled in rose and my breathing caused my chest to heave against my jacket.

  “Get a room.” Rini’s tinkling laugh ran through the quad, making me acutely aware of our audience. Other students snickered and walked by, while others either rolled their eyes or ignored us entirely. Such was the mix of students that milled around, making their way to their next class.

  “I would have had a room had you not decided to steal away my girlfriend. I think I’m entitled to a consolation kiss for being so gentlemanly.” Killian’s gruff voice was full of challenge and Rini raised her free hand up in surrender.

  “I read you loud and clear, Romeo. Sorry for busting your balls.” Rini smirked, not looking the least bit sorry. “Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen a steamy kiss before. I probably participate in more of them then you do on a daily basis. Let me tell you, the things that Barrett can do with his tongue…” Rini leaned toward me like she was telling me a secret, but she didn’t change the volume of her voice to match. “Magical,” she finished, pretending to look out into the distance at something grand, with a dreamy look on her face.

  “That’s gross. Knock it off. I don’t need to hear this shit,” Killian griped. “You’re practically my sister.” He looked disgusted at being privy to any part of Rini’s sex life—mild or not.

  I bit my lip to hold back a smile, but it didn’t work and I ended up laughing at Kill’s distress.

  “I’ve got my truck today and can drive us to my place if we can give your bodyguard the slip,” Rini teased, and I looked to Kill, unsure if he’d be comfortable letting me go alone.

  We stared each other down, each holding our ground on separate sides of the issue, until Kill finally broke. “Fuck,” he muttered. “You call me the second you get to Rini’s house and check in. And then I want an update when you’re safely inside with the doors locked. Do you understand?”

  Part of me wanted to argue with him that I could defend myself, but as my trainer,
he knew that better than most people. The truth was, I understood his hesitancy after all the shit that had happened in the past, so I simply wrapped him in another hug and agreed before disappearing down the sidewalk with Rini.

  “He cares about you a lot.” Rini broke the growing, tense silence as we made our way to her truck and tucked ourselves safely inside. My phone dinged before I could even respond, and I tugged it from my back jeans pocket. Killian’s name flashed across the screen and I smiled, shaking my head at his overprotectiveness.

  “I know.” I held up the device to show Rini how he was already checking up on me.

  Rini rolled her eyes in jest, but then her teasing smile melted into something more genuine. “Honestly, it’s really sweet. Overkill, but I understand why he’s worried.” She steered us onto the road. “I’ll never forget the feeling of not knowing where you were when you were kidnapped, and what those guys felt was ten times worse. I can’t imagine not knowing if your mate was okay or not, or where they were.” Rini took a deep breath. “So Killian gets a pass for being an overprotective bunny.”

  I typed back a quick response to Kill and hit send before staring out the window.

  “You okay?” Rini prompted gently.

  “I just wish I could remember more about what happened on the island. Some of my memories seem to piece together, but others make no sense. It’s unsettling to have lost all that time. To know that something happened, but not understand what.” My voice took on a gravelly quality and I stopped talking to clear my throat. “It feels… violating.”

  Rini reached over and squeezed my arm in support. “I don’t know if we’ll ever find out what truly happened.” I almost opened my mouth to tell her about Zanoah, but I was too emotionally tired to delve into that conversation just yet. Rini glanced over at me and continued, “But you’re a survivor, Nix. You always have been. Your background, your powers, everything that you’ve been through… you were forged in flames and it’s only made you stronger.”

  Huffing out a pent-up breath, I looked over to Rini with emotional tears pressing behind my eyes. “Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.” The fact that she saw strength in me where others may only see a broken, complicated mess from the outside just solidified why she was my best friend.

  “I’ve missed you lately.”

  “I know. I’ve missed you too. Gods, it feels like I’ve been surrounded by nothing but men for ages. I’m so glad I’m cutting my last class today to get some estrogen back in my life!” She laughed as she pulled up the private gravel drive that led to the house tucked back from the road. The worn, red siding came into view and she pulled the truck to a stop, hopped out, and headed toward the front door as I followed along behind her.

  The inside of Rini’s house was cozy and homey, with touches of bright decorations she claimed added ‘sunshine’ to the interior. The warm mixed scents of Rini and her bears filled the air, and while enhanced smell wasn’t a superpower my alter came equipped with like Rini’s Sun Bear, it wasn’t difficult to pick up on the subtle hints of clover, and something darker blended into their familiar fragrances.

  Arching an unseen eyebrow at Rini’s back, I walked behind her as she bounced her way into the kitchen and tossed her bag on the table, immediately digging through the fridge and acquiring a large bowl of berries and two flavored bottles of water.

  “Babe, is that you?” A deep rumbling voice called from down the hall moments before a towel-clad Cayden came strutting into the room, his firm, muscled chest on display for the world to see.

  I tipped my head to the ceiling and cleared my throat at the same time Rini answered him back. “No, it’s a burglar,” she joked.

  “Fuck, I’m glad you’re home early, I was just getting ready to jump in the sh— Oh, Nix.” Cayden rubbed a hand over the top of his head and eyed me in all my cockblocking glory. “I didn’t know you were here. I’ll just…” He hitched a thumb behind him, backtracking the way he’d come with a sheepish look.

  “Sorry, love.” Rini hopped over to her man and gave him a lingering kiss. “Girl time.” She sent him a pointed look. “We’re going to be in the living room for a while.”

  “Got it. I’ll make myself scarce. You ladies have a nice visit.” He kissed her nose before releasing her and vanishing back to the bedroom.

  “Looks like I interrupted a little afternoon delight.” I smirked at her as we carried our snack to the living room and settled onto the couch.

  Rini sighed dramatically. “Looks like neither of us is getting laid this afternoon.”

  I blushed, shook my head, and tossed back my bottle of water, taking a healthy swig. My eyes narrowed and I squinted, making sure I was seeing things correctly. There, on the ceiling of her living room, was a shimmering symbol. Every line and curve of it matched the one from the coffee shop where we’d met Ciar. The symbol of the rebellion and a sign that we were safe to speak freely. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before.”

  “Well, it is nearly invisible unless you know what you’re looking for. That’s why I wanted to talk in here. The rest of the house isn’t warded, but in this room, we don’t need to worry about what we say.”

  “I’m surprised you convinced them to ward your house.” It was puzzling since we’d been meeting with Ciarán at the coffee shop, due to our lack of confidence in the reinforced wards.

  “Well, I dabble in sensitive information that the rebellion wouldn’t want to be overheard, so it made sense for them as well as for me. Being so close to the Council, it would have been too much of a risk to work without the barrier. Although, ever since I began working with Ciarán it’s been safer for me.”

  “Hold up and rewind.” I cocked my head and studied her. “How long have you been working with Ciarán?” Rini wiggled on the couch under my gaze and took a sip of her water, clearly stalling answering my question. “Oh my stars. You knew him already when you ‘met’ him at my house, didn’t you?” I threw the word ‘met’ into air quotes, my eyes growing wider at her clear avoidance of the topic. Her cheeks pinked and she wouldn’t make eye contact. “Holy shit.”

  “It was the first time I’d actually met the guy,” Rini defended, wide-eyed and flushed.

  “What does that mean?” I wouldn’t let her out from under my intense gaze.

  “He’s a dreamwalker,” she stated matter-of-factly.

  “So you dreamed of him?” A sly smile curved my lips and both my brows rose toward my hairline.

  “Not like that,” she sassed. “Sheesh. You make it sound like more than it was.”

  “Enlighten me.” I crossed my legs and propped my hands on my knees, the picture of patience.

  Rini narrowed her eyes but a smirk tipped on one side of her mouth. “He met me in my dreams to exchange messages and information. It was safer to handle such dangerous and confidential information that way, rather than risk talking—even within the wards. It’s been great for setting up rendezvous and receiving orders too.”

  “Rendezvous, eh?” I latched on to the one word.

  “I can’t talk to you if you aren’t going to take this seriously.” Rini threw her hands into the air, water bottle and all, in her exasperation with me.

  I giggled. “Alright, I’ll focus. It’s actually really interesting. I can see how Ciar’s certain set of skills would be useful. Besides, I’m convinced that even if someone captured him, he’d annoy them to death before they could ever crack him. His playlist of irritating songs is off the charts.”

  “He does get an insane amount of pleasure from ticking off Damien.” She grinned and shook her head at Ciarán’s normal antics.

  Pursing my lips, I considered diving into the question burning on my tongue. “Is that the only thing giving Ciarán pleasure?”

  Rini’s eyes were wide and her mouth formed a little ‘o’ as she focused her attention to me. She blinked twice, appearing the picture of guilty innocence, before she snapped herself out of it. “I…” Stuttering, she shook
her head as if to clear it.

  I leaned forward in my seat, placing my hand on her knee with a pat, letting her off the hook. “If I’m prying, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s completely fine. I’ve just noticed that you two seem close and I want you to know that you can talk to me about things… even if they’re hard. You’ve always been there for me and I want you to know I’m here for you too.”

  Rini nodded, and then leaned forward and gave me a one-armed hug. “Thank you. I know and I appreciate it. I’m just… confused. There’s so much happening right now, and I can’t seem to find my calm in the middle of the storm. Does that make sense?”

  “Fuck, of course, it does! Have you seen my life?” I ran a hand through the long tresses of my hair, brushing the silky length with my fingers while I gathered my thoughts. “After everything we’ve been through, and everything ahead of us, it feels like there’s not enough time in the day to get everything done. Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning. Hopefully, getting rid of my coursework will help.”

  Confusion covered Rini’s face. “How did you manage that? Did the Council pull some strings?”

  I blinked at her, realizing I hadn’t talked to her since I’d made my decision to withdraw from college. “I’d never ask for their help. I don’t want anything from them.”

  “That’s good to hear.”

  “Yeah… no, I dropped all my classes today.” I set my water bottle aside and fidgeted with my fingers, avoiding her steady gaze.

  “You dropped out of college?” Her voice held a note of sympathy and a world of understanding that I hadn’t expected.

  I glanced back up at my best friend. “Yeah. I did.”

  “That couldn’t have been an easy decision. Why didn’t you call me?”

  “It definitely sucked, but I do think it’s for the best right now. Between the Council’s expectations of me and trying to keep up appearances, the start of this suitor business, and making sure I have time for my actual mates, not to mention everything with the rebellion now… I just couldn’t hold everything together. Given how much class I’ve missed, it just made logical sense. The guys have all been very supportive. Theo told me to look at it as a break instead of a final decision. So I’m just taking some time off.” I shrugged.