My Husband's Wife

by Amanda Prowse

  ‘Oh, you still work?’ In Rosie’s head, Gerri spent her days in the pool and her nights rolling around in piles of money.

  ‘Uh-huh.’ She nodded. ‘I’m seed-funding several projects – app development, telco, fitness, varied stuff, about half of which I fully buy into, but you have to take the gamble, right? That’s how you win big. I’m even shoving a bundle into a fast-food franchise. I mean, the idea is abhorrent to me, but fatties have got to eat, right?’ She gave a short, unnatural laugh that sounded mean.

  Rosie nodded again, wondering if it was because she was tense that she’d only understood about half of what Gerri had said. Gerri snuggled back into her chair, meaning Rosie had to twist her body awkwardly on the wide seat to look at her. ‘Do you like your job?’ she asked.

  ‘“Like” isn’t the word, but... how to phrase it? My work was my life. I’d get by on three hours’ sleep, constantly checking stock levels, looking at spreadsheets.’ She exhaled, as if even the memory was exhausting. ‘You know what it gets like.’

  ‘Not really! I clean caravans. I clean them, I go home and I don’t think about them until I pick up that bucket and clean them again. Although I have taken on some extra hours in reception, giving out keys and checking people in. I’ve been there a while and the people are nice.’ She turned to look at Gerri, who stared back with an amused smile playing about her mouth. Her eyes then widened, as if Rosie had said the wrong thing, embarrassing them both.

  ‘Yes, work was everything,’ Gerri continued, as if Rosie hadn’t spoken, or, more accurately, as if what she’d said was not relevant. ‘That was until I built this place. And then I decided I wanted more.’ She smirked. ‘It was a bit like getting a doll’s house – you know, the kind you had when you were young, where you take the front off and there are all these rooms and sweet little chairs and plates and minute beds and pillows.’

  ‘I didn’t have one, but I know what you mean.’

  ‘Oh. Well, you’ll have to take my word for it.’ Gerri rolled her hand in the air. ‘So I finished the house and I realised what was missing. I was missing all the little people to put inside it.’ She threw a meaningful glance in Rosie’s direction. ‘You know the ones, Rosie – they stand in the rooms until you move them to another spot, just waiting for you to dip in, pick them up and give them a life.’

  Rosie stared at her. Her heart beat a little too fast and she felt the air leave the room. It was as if Gerri was speaking too slowly, sounding slightly slurred in her mind.

  Gerri continued. ‘There’s no point having a fancy toy if half the pieces are missing, don’t you think?’

  Rosie swallowed and found her voice. ‘So you took my little people.’

  Gerri’s response was speedy and concise. ‘What a very strange thing to say!’ She placed her free hand on her chest. ‘I’ve only taken one.’ Her eyes were wide, animated. She bobbed her head.

  Rosie couldn’t think how to reply. The words jumbled in her mind, her anger diluted by the fact that she was in this woman’s grand house, as if she ought therefore to be on her best behaviour. ‘I don’t know if you’re joking, but it’s not funny. What you’ve done, it’s not funny at all.’

  ‘Oh, I’m not laughing.’ Gerri’s expression changed and she stared at Rosie, whose chest heaved.

  ‘I want you to stay away from my kids,’ Rosie managed.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ Gerri practically spat the words. ‘They are Phil’s kids too, and they love coming here. Who’s going to be the one to tell them no more swimming, no more Truffle?’ She shook her head dismissively. Truffle barked, as if on cue, reminding them both of his presence. ‘Although I do get it – to be thrown over by your man is one thing, but to have your kids rather spend time with a dog...’ She took a deep breath. ‘That must be tough.’

  Desperate to leave right away, Rosie shuffled forwards on the deep sofa until her feet found the white carpet beneath her trainers.

  ‘Oh, don’t go just yet! I have some news!’ Gerri shrieked.

  Rosie stood up and looked at the petite woman with the large amount of power. She watched as Gerri placed her manicured hand against the flat waistband of her tight jeans. Oh no! Please, no, no, no! Not that! Rosie felt her muscles slip on her bones, felt as if she was falling, unsteady and lightheaded, as yet another wave of sadness threatened to break over her.

  ‘Yep.’ Gerri beamed. ‘I think Phil’s finally going to get the little boy he always wanted.’

  ‘You’re pregnant?’ she whispered, needing confirmation.

  ‘Isn’t it wonderful?’

  Rosie turned, stumbling blindly across the lounge area, picturing the pregnancy test that had fallen on the floor at the hospital, how she had cuddled up to Phil that night in bed, lamenting the result and hoping they would get the chance to try again. Through the haze of her distress, she tried to remember where the kitchen was, where she had left her bag, keys and phone. The last thing she wanted was to cry here, in front of her. As she hurried towards the hall, the remains of the coffee slopped in her cup and sloshed onto the white wool carpet. She didn’t care; she just wanted to get out of the place.

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about the carpet,’ Gerri said matter-of-factly, ‘that’s what cleaning ladies are for!’

  Rosie turned to face Gerri, who was now very deliberately tipping the remains of her own coffee cup onto the white carpet. The woman was clearly even more deranged than Rosie had thought. There was no way she was going to let her near the kids again.

  ‘Bear left!’ Gerri called in a singsong tone, as if they were playing a game.

  Rosie raced into the kitchen and swept her bag from the countertop, placing the mug on the granite surface with such force, she half expected it might crack. Gerri had followed her down the hall.

  ‘Is that why you asked me here, to laugh at me? To hurt me?’

  ‘Oh God, no! Of course not!’ Gerri tutted. ‘But I did want you to see that you’ve lost.’

  ‘I don’t... I don’t understand,’ Rosie managed as her tears spilled.

  ‘I dare say.’ Gerri toyed with a loose tendril of her long blonde hair. ‘You were right, Rosie, I did choose him.’

  Rosie took a sharp breath. ‘You’re bloody mad, you are! And you’re nasty. I will never understand how anyone can take pleasure in destroying a family like you did mine.’

  ‘Don’t you think I have a right to be happy as well? A right to a family life?’ Gerri said, as casually as if they were discussing the weather.

  Rosie gripped her bag against her chest. ‘I’m telling you now: you stay away from my kids. You fucking stay away from them!’ She didn’t like the aggression that surged through her, felt sick at the confrontation that was so far out of her comfort zone, but if ever there was a time for anger, this was it.

  She heard the faint burble of laughter as she ran out of the front door. She revved the engine and pulled the car forwards to the wide gate. Her limbs were shaking. It seemed like an age before the gate whirred open. As soon as the gap was wide enough, she zoomed to freedom, pulling out onto the lane a little faster and more erratically than she normally would. When she got to the bottom of the hill, she screeched into a layby on the Esplanade and with trembling fingers phoned Mel.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Mel said immediately when she heard Rosie’s sobs. ‘You all right, love?’

  ‘Not really.’ Rosie tried to catch her breath. ‘Oh God, Mel!’ She closed her eyes and leant her head on the steering wheel, wondering how to start, where to start.

  Mel robbed her of the chance. ‘I’ve just had Gerri on the phone,’ she said, ‘crying her eyes out. Said you were at the house and you went mental, threw coffee, threatened her, swore at her. She’s in a right state.’ Mel didn’t sound like her usual friendly self. Her tone was odd, a little off; it was the tone she used when referring to Kayleigh. It sounded judgemental. Rosie was shocked.

  ‘Mel, I’m telling you, she’s nuts! She was really horrible to me.’

  �
�I thought she’d invited you up to the house to get to know each other, make it easier?’

  ‘She did! That’s what she said, but when I got there, she was a bit snooty and weird, felt like she was showing off, really stuck up, and she was going on about seeds and stuff and made me feel like rubbish because I only know Madame Tussauds, and she lives in Kent and that’s not even London! And then she told me she was pregnant!’ Rosie closed her eyes and cupped her hand over her face; she wanted to hide from the world.

  ‘That’s what she said, that she told you about the baby and you went ballistic, threw coffee and told her to fuck off. Is that right? Did you?’

  ‘It’s kind of right. I did tell her to fuck off,’ Rosie admitted. There was something in her friend’s response that suddenly struck her. ‘Did you know she was pregnant?’ She was aware of how high pitched her voice had become.

  Mel hesitated. ‘I only found out a couple of days ago.’ Her tone had softened.

  ‘And you didn’t think to tell me?’

  ‘I didn’t want to upset you.’

  ‘Do you know what, Mel, it’s easy to spout all that rubbish about how you would always choose me—’

  ‘I would!’

  ‘Well, it sure doesn’t feel like it right now. And anyway, I never expected you to choose. I know that Andy and Phil are mates, but I did expect a bit of loyalty!’ She was shout-ing now.

  ‘Well, I didn’t expect you to go and lose it in her house! That’s not helpful. And she’s pregnant! I know that’s hard, Rosie, but it’s how it is.’

  ‘You are not listening to me!’ Rosie screamed. ‘She more or less told me that she had picked Phil, picked out our family to rip apart. She was going on about a doll’s house and it felt like she was threatening me. I think she’s coming after my kids!’ Having to say the words out loud caused her breath to catch. Oh God, oh my God!

  ‘I think you’re probably just upset, and shocked about the whole baby thing. And I understand why. It’s a shock, but—’

  Rosie ended the call. She wasn’t interested in hearing Mel’s reasoning.

  *

  She collected the girls from school and walked them home, deep in thought, her eyes darting here and there as she gripped their hands. Woolacombe suddenly felt like a hostile place and she couldn’t wait to get the kids home and safe behind their front door. She gave only brief answers to their usual stream of questions, wishing they would be quiet and allow her time to think. She kept looking over her shoulder, half expecting to see a big black Range Rover snaking up behind her.

  ‘Mum, do you think our fish are in heaven?’ Naomi asked.

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘If they are, how can they breathe, because heaven isn’t underwater and that’s where Moby and Jonathan need to be, otherwise they wouldn’t have died when we tipped the mug over?’ Leona asked.

  ‘You tipped the mug over,’ Naomi reminded her sister.

  ‘You did!’ Leona shouted.

  ‘All right, girls. Please, no arguing.’ She nipped the fracas that threatened in the bud.

  ‘Do you think Jesus has a fish tank?’ Leona asked.

  ‘He might do.’ Rosie smiled.

  ‘Because if Jesus put the fish in his fish tank, they’d be special Jesus fish, which would be nice, wouldn’t it, Mummy?’

  ‘Yes, it would be nice.’

  ‘Why does the lady next door have such big teeth? They are massive!’ Naomi stuck her teeth out over her bottom lip as if to demonstrate.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Have Nanny and Grandad ever been in prison?’ Naomi had switched tack.

  ‘No.’ Rosie shook her head. ‘No, they haven’t.’

  ‘If they went to prison, we could live in their house,’ Leona added.

  ‘They are not going to prison.’

  ‘What’s the smallest crime you can do, so that you only go to prison for an hour or even half an hour, just so you can have a look, but you don’t have to stay there?’ Naomi was on a roll.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Is it doing a wee in the street, because Leo did a wee in the street?’

  ‘I don’t want to go to prison!’ Leona started to fret.

  ‘You’d only go for an hour, Leona Shitstar.’

  Rosie stopped walking. ‘What did you call her?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Naomi sucked in her cheeks and stared at her mum without blinking.

  ‘She called me Leona Shitstar.’

  ‘Right. That’s it! When we get home, you are both having tea and then going straight to bed. I’ve had enough today.’

  ‘But she called me shitstar – I didn’t do anything wrong!’ Leona whined.

  ‘You grassed her up and that shows no loyalty and that’s a shitty thing to do.’

  The two girls exchanged a glance. It was Naomi who was the bravest. ‘You said “shitty”, are you going to go to bed too?’

  ‘Yes. Yes I am.’ She nodded at the girls and marched on.

  *

  It was nearly seven o’clock and she could hear their laughter coming through the floor. So much for punishment. Rosie felt out of sorts, replaying not only what Gerri had said to her, but also the way she’d said it. And she was doubly floored by Mel’s reaction, to the point where she was now wary of speaking to Mo or anyone else, in case they said or thought the same. She felt lonely. She could no longer confide in Phil, as she had for the last decade, and Kev was thousands of miles away, in the BVI.

  The front doorbell rang while she was stacking the dishwasher and her heart leapt at the thought that it might be Gerri or Mel. She needn’t have worried. It was Phil.

  ‘Can I come in?’

  She could tell by the set of his jaw that this wasn’t a courtesy call.

  ‘Gerri is in a bad way,’ he began as soon as he stepped into the hallway, obviously keen to get the words out.

  She watched how he drew his shoulders in, as if he suddenly found the space in which he’d lived happily for all those years a little cramped now. She walked through to the kitchen and he followed her.

  ‘Please try and keep your voice down. The girls are in bed and I don’t want them upset or hyped up.’ She tried to keep the shiver from her bones; she was still shaken and on high alert.

  ‘What on earth happened today? Why were you even there?’ He paced the floor.

  ‘I thought you’d know. I was there because she invited me. She said it would be best for the girls, best for everyone, if we all got on, and stupidly I thought that was the right thing to do.’

  He shook his head, as if that fact alone irritated him. Clearly he didn’t like the idea of his two worlds colliding.

  Rosie continued. ‘She... she made me feel small. The way she spoke to me, Phil, was—’

  ‘Was what?’ he interrupted. ‘You’ve just said yourself, she invited you up to the house to try and build bridges.’

  Rosie stared at him, the man who with every new rejection hurt her even more. You’re my husband, Phil! How can you even look at me like that? She took a deep breath and tried to keep a calm head, tried to speak rationally. ‘Phil, I need you to listen to me. I need you to trust me.’ She cursed the wobble of emotion in her voice. ‘We’ve been married for a very long time...’

  He held her gaze.

  ‘...and you have only known this woman for a little while and today I saw a side to her that has frightened me. She honestly sounded nuts!’

  ‘Are you serious?’ He squinted. ‘When I got home, she was on the bedroom floor. She was sobbing. I couldn’t calm her down, and let me tell you, that frightened me.’

  ‘She was laughing when I left, sneering at me! And she tipped her own coffee on the—’

  ‘Rosie, stop it! Just stop it!’ He sighed. ‘She is as house-proud as they come. You expect me to believe she tipped her own coffee onto her own imported, eighteen-grand carpet?’

  She stared at him. If he thought she was lying, then they’d turned down another dark road that they’d never travel
led before.

  ‘She said she told you about the baby.’

  ‘Ah, yes, the baby. Congratulations!’

  ‘Yes! That’s exactly how she said you reacted – nastily, sarcastically – and that then you couldn’t stop, you swore at her, threatened her, told her to fucking be careful and to stay away from the girls. Is that true?’

  ‘I did say something like that, yes, but that’s not exactly how it happened. She’s twisting it! She pushed me into a corner and now no one is hearing what I’m saying. She was threatening, scary.’

  ‘Scary? Have you seen her?’ He gave a short burst of laughter, which made Rosie feel big and clumsy.

  She crossed her arms over her torso as he carried on berating her.

  ‘I am genuinely surprised by what you’ve done. Surprised and...’ He chose his words carefully. ‘Disappointed. She didn’t deserve that. She’s gone out of the way to make the girls welcome, bought them a bloody dog!’

  His words lit the touch paper that saw her fear and frustration erupt. She heard Gerri’s words. ‘To be thrown over by your man is one thing, but to have your kids rather spend time with a dog...’

  ‘What about what I deserve, Phil? Is anyone considering that? It’s like the blows just keep coming. First I lose you, then I have to smile and wave the girls off as and when you feel like taking them, and now, not only is she having a baby, but she was bloody awful to me today. And yet I’m being made to feel like the one in the wrong!’ She cursed her distress, wishing she could present a stronger front.

  She saw him glance at his wrist before putting his hands on his hips. There was somewhere else he wanted to be. ‘Don’t let me keep you,’ she said angrily.

  ‘Why are you being like this? I didn’t mean you to find out about the baby like this. I planned on telling you when the time was right, the next time I saw you.’

  ‘Well don’t worry about that. I’m sure I would have heard it eventually, from Mel or Andy or someone else in town like Mrs Blackmore’s granddaughter in the Spar.’

  ‘Andy’s my mate. What do you suggest, that I just drop him?’

  ‘No, but I am still your wife, whether you like it or not, and I am the mother of your children and you could at least give me the courtesy of not letting me be the last to know about something so important.’ She noted the way he was restlessly shifting his weight from foot to foot. ‘And even now, you can’t wait to be gone. You’re so on edge. It’s like I don’t know you, Phil. As if you have just erased the last twelve years of our lives. Well, the bad news is, I am not going to disappear, no matter how convenient that would be for you.’