Devoted to You

by Rebecca King

  It was in the back of her mind that she hadn’t told Rollo where to send her wages, nor had she bothered to ask if she would even get any. She had effectively walked out of the job without serving any notice. That didn’t matter right now. Living through the hurt that threatened to swallow her whole was essential.

  At any other time, the sight of the vast, rolling moorland stretching out before her would have made her sigh in delight, and relish the length of the walk that lay before her. Today, she ignored the sharp bite of the winds against her cheeks that tugged at her clothes and stole her breath. As she trod the familiar path, it felt as though a lifetime had passed since she had quite innocently hurried in the opposite direction, eager to start her new future. Full of excited anticipation, and armed with a brilliant imagination, she had envisaged bountiful teas in luxurious drawing rooms, the finest cotton and silks, and magical balls full of resplendent lords and ladies.

  The cruel reality was that life in a big house for a servant was nothing like that. It involved endless hours of toil consisting of fetching and carrying heavy burdens up and down ridiculously steep flights of stairs, working for people like the contemptuous dowager, and scoundrels like Aidan, and generally being non-existent as a person.

  “Forget about him,” she muttered aloud. “Forget about all of it.”

  While a part of her knew it was best to, there was something that still warned her there must be an explanation; that it all had to be some sort of terrible misunderstanding.

  “You are being terribly naïve. There is no terrible misunderstanding. You know what you saw,” she gasped, her voice laden with anxiety.

  Her tears blended with the raindrops that pelted her cheeks, but she didn’t care. The further she walked, and the longer it rained, the boggier the path got until she slipped and slid more than she walked. Still, she was oblivious to the sharp stones that poked through the soft soles of her boots, and the mud that caked the bottom of the uniform she still wore. She didn’t see the cornucopia of vibrant greens, golds, greys, and browns that made up the landscape, or the tumultuous clouds that billowed and danced threateningly in the sky.

  Nothing mattered apart from the fact that she had to find a way of piecing together the fractured remnants of her life. Not only that but she had to think of a way to explain to her father what had gone wrong without incurring his wrath, and being tossed out on her ear for being a harlot.

  Aidan sighed as he woke up. He sensed that he was being watched. It took him a moment for his mind to resurface enough to focus on what was bothering him. When he opened his eyes, he looked straight into the disconcerted gaze of his butler, Rollo.

  It was then that his world crashed down around him. He stared at the back of the head of the woman before him and felt his stomach drop to his toes. His eyes widened. The horrifying realisation then slammed into him that the woman he thought he was holding wasn’t Petal. It was, in fact, Edwards.

  He turned a beseeching look on Rollo, who looked back in disgust. Rather than speak, the butler turned around and disappeared out of the door without a backward look. The loud slam of the door made his disgust evident.

  It was enough to make the woman in front of him jump in alarm.

  Aidan bolted out of bed. He still had his nightshirt on, which was reassuring, but the question as to why Edwards was in his bed in the first place was less so.

  “Just what the Hell do you think you are doing in my bed?” Aidan bellowed.

  He watched the woman twitch, but he suspected she hadn’t been asleep in the first place. The proof was there in her wide-awake gaze when she rolled over and gave him a sultry look.

  “What is it, darling?”

  “Get out of this bed this instant, or I swear, as God is my witness, I am going to drag you out by your hair you heathen.”

  “Oh, come now,” Edwards drawled seductively. “Then everyone will know what we have been up to. I don’t mind if you don’t.”

  “God, you are shameless,” he snarled.

  He wasn’t about to be cowed by the woman though. From the daylight outside, he suspected it was time for Petal to light the fire in his room. Determined not to allow her to see Edwards even in his bedchamber at this time in the morning, let alone in a partially clothed state as she was, he hauled her out of bed. Thankfully, she had only taken her dress off, which now lay suggestively abandoned on the floor. Picking it up, Aidan thrust it at her and dragged her toward the door in her petticoats.

  “Get out of my room and, while you are in yours, pack your belongings. I want you out of this house today. If you don’t go, I am damned well going to drag you to the door by your hair.”

  He slammed the door closed on her spluttering protests and locked it for good measure while he was there. Once alone, he cursed fluidly and tried to decide what the hell he was going to do next. He knew he hadn’t touched Edwards sexually. After his tryst with Petal, that wasn’t even physically possible for his still healing body. Not only that, but Edwards was completely unappealing to him. He would have to be drugged out of his mind on Laudanum to even be coerced to get into bed with her.

  With that reassuring thought locked firmly in his mind, he turned his attention toward what to do about Petal. Yesterday he had practically avoided her all day. While the dowager had been there, he hadn’t dared speak to her or look at her for fear of revealing his deep affection for her. The last thing he wanted was to forewarn his mother, or her cohorts, that there was anything going on between them. He knew they would do their damnedest to drive Petal out of the house, and would brand her a wanton to anyone within ear-shot.

  After this morning’s little debacle, one thing was now abundantly clear. Whatever he did it had to be quick, and preferably before Edwards cast some scurrilous rumours about their fabricated assignation. Or, heaven forbid, hinted to the dowager that she had spent the night in his bed, and that Rollo was a witness.

  Aware that Rollo was now probably at odds with him as well, Aidan rang for his butler.

  For the first time in several weeks, he got dressed. Then he settled down in the chair beside the fire to wait.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Petal opened the door to home, took one look at her father, and burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs. She saw little of the farmhouse kitchen she had grown up in; or her father for that matter. Her world narrowed to nothing more than the coarse material of his shirt, and the heartbreak that shattered her world.

  It took nearly an hour before she calmed down enough to take a seat at the table. Once she did, her father drew a chair forward and sat opposite. He braced his elbows on the table-top so he could look into her downcast face.

  “What happened?”

  Petal sucked in a deep breath and tried to find the right way to tell him but just couldn’t shame herself in his eyes. In the cold light of day, she was ashamed at just how quickly she had allowed herself to be fooled by the arrogant aristocrat in the large house.

  “It is not what I thought it would be,” she hiccupped evasively.

  It was all she could think of saying that would appease his curiosity and provide him with an explanation for her sudden return.

  “What happened?” He prompted again when she didn’t speak.

  He knew his daughter well. She wasn’t being honest with him.

  “There is a conniving nurse there who has a yen for the master of the house. She objected to me being the upstairs maid and caused trouble wherever she could. It turns out that she has been put there by the dowager, the master’s mother because she is connected to some lord somewhere. It is clear that she is to become the lady of the house soon. When that happens, she is likely to ensure that I lose my job. So, I left before she could fire me.”

  “What does the master have to say about all of this?”

  Horace frowned as he studied his only daughter. He knew that look on her face. There was something she wasn’t telling him. The almost too innocent look had never fooled him, not even when she was a youngster,
and it still didn’t to this day. Sensing she would tell him in her own good time he decided to let the matter drop for now. He was just glad that she was back for now; although how long that would last for depended on what had actually gone wrong at the big house.

  “This has been your dream for so long, Petal that I think it is a shame you feel you should give it up. However, if you honestly don’t want to go back then I am glad of it. You know I never wanted you to go there in the first place. It’s a damned disgrace the way those nabobs treat people like us. They have worse manners than anyone I have ever met and think money excuses their rudeness.”

  She mentally winced. Her father hated the aristocracy; always had and always would. She had spent many a good hour seated before the fireplace listening to his arguments against her applying to work in the big house, but she had ignored them all. She now wished she had listened to him.

  “I walked out.” She looked up at him hesitantly. “I didn’t collect my wages or work my notice.”

  “Are the rest of your belongings there?”

  She shook her head. “I only took the one case, if you remember? I brought that back with me. I just couldn’t take it anymore. People started to be ill, and we were all running around doing double the work. Then the nurse made it clear that she and the master were together, and I just knew that it was time to leave. Nothing I could ever say, and no work I could ever do, would ever be enough to satisfy that woman.”

  “I will go over tomorrow and speak to the master.”

  “No!” She winced when she realised how forceful that sounded. It was an over the top reaction to his innocuous suggestion and they both knew it. She was aware that she had raised his curiosity by the slow way he turned to stare at her.

  “I mean, it isn’t the master of the house you need to talk to. He is confined to bed at the moment because of a carriage accident. He isn’t receiving visitors, even if you could get past that dragon of a nurse. It is Rollo, the butler, you need to speak to, or Mrs Kempton. She is in charge of the maids although Rollo does the downstairs books.”

  “Then I will go and see Rollo, or Mrs Kempton, tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?”

  Petal shook her head without thinking. At the moment, she didn’t ever want to set eyes on the place. It was too painful. She was too afraid of what people were saying about her.

  “Well, you know where your room is. I have to go and feed the animals. You unpack. I will be back in a while,” Leonard said as he pushed away from the table.

  Petal waited until he had gone and then put a pot of water before she went in search of a dry set of clothes. Her skin was so cold she had gone numb. With her teeth chattering it was difficult to concentrate on anything. It all seemed so much effort; to think or to feel anything. Right now, she needed to decide what she should tell her father but she was too numb to think clearly. She knew that within the numbness was sanctuary. It was easier not to think about anything because that stopped her from remembering what had happened. How her world had broken. It was best for her to remain safely tucked up in a world where nothing could hurt anymore. She would then be alone with her thoughts and feelings, and could just be herself for a while rather than a maid, a companion, a member of staff and, a servant.

  Stripping her wet clothing off, she quickly donned a fresh change of clothing but was still shivering. Desperate to get warm again, she quickly huddled under the blankets on the bed and tugged them up to her ears. Within seconds, her tears started to fall.

  An hour later, Petal’s father returned to the house, surprised to find a half-full pot of water bubbling away on the fire. Carefully lifting it away from the flames, he placed it onto the hearth and went in search of his daughter.

  He was still slightly shocked that she had walked out of her job. He knew just how much it had meant to her to get it scarcely a couple of months ago. Something must have gone horribly wrong for her to walk away from it so soon. Whatever had happened, he knew that Petal wasn’t going to tell him. The answers lay with the butler at the house. With that in mind, he carefully closed the bedroom door on the sight of his sleeping daughter, re-stoked the fire, and let himself out of the house.

  Back at Wenland Lodge, getting hold of Rollo was far harder than Aidan had anticipated. Having finally managed to get Aggy to attend to his room, he pummelled her with questions. Unfortunately, the girl, as timid as she was, proved to be of little use.

  “Where is Rollo?”

  “He is busy picking up the footmen’s work,” Aggy replied carefully.

  “What work? The footmen don’t do anything because I am not downstairs for them to attend.”

  Now that he came to think about it, the footmen should have been bringing his trays and things. It was highly unusual for the maids to do it. He considered that for a moment and wondered why it hadn’t dawned on him to ask Rollo about it before.

  “The footmen also work in the gardens, sir. They do the maintenance in the house as well. Everybody does more than their usual role in the home because there aren’t many staff, sir,” Aggy reported. “At the moment, though, some of them are still sick.”

  Aidan lifted his brows at her. “Where is Petal? Is she taking on more than her fair share of the work too?”

  “Well, everyone has a lot of work to do. You don’t live in most of the house, sir, but it still needs cleaning. But, to answer your question, Petal does the same job as me but downstairs; or did.” Aggy frowned and looked solemnly at her feet.

  “What do you mean, ‘she did?’.”

  “She has left, sir.”

  “Left? Where for?” Aidan went cold.

  He immediately wondered if Petal had seen what had happened this morning and suspected she must have.

  “Edwards wouldn’t know that you had swapped with Petal again, would she?”

  “Pardon, sir?” Aggy looked confused.

  “How much does Edwards overhear about the working arrangements in the house, Aggy?”

  The young woman looked pleased that he had used her name before she realised he was still waiting for her to answer him.

  “Oh, nothing, sir. She mostly keeps herself to herself. She eats in her room because she thinks it is beneath her to eat dinner with the servants. The nurse only appears to cause trouble with Rollo, or Mrs Kempton.”

  “And Petal,” Aidan added with a sigh.

  Aggy looked surprised for a moment. “Well, yes, she has threatened her a time or two.”

  “What about?” Aidan was curious, and a little annoyed with Petal that she hadn’t told him about this herself.

  “Well, I am not altogether sure, but Petal was a little annoyed about it,” Aggy replied matter-of-factly.

  “Where is Petal now?”

  “I don’t know, sir. She spoke with Rollo before I got up this morning and left the house. I don’t have any idea where she went, and I don’t know if she will be back.”

  “Can you go downstairs and fetch Rollo for me? Tell him that whatever he is doing can wait. I want to see him, and Mrs Kempton, and yourself here as soon as possible.”

  Aidan knew, he just knew, that Petal had seen him and Edwards in bed together. Unless it was her day off, which he doubted, he suspected she had quit her job.

  “Over my dead body,” Aidan snarled as he began to pace around the room.

  While he was pacing, he realised there was not much discomfort in his legs anymore. Emotionally, he wouldn’t get any better until he had Petal back where she belonged; right beside him, in his bed, in his arms.

  This time, though, she was going to be there under new terms – whether she liked it or not.

  Taking a seat at the bureau, he drew out a piece of parchment and dipped his quill to pen a note while he waited for everyone to arrive.

  Thankfully, Jerry chose that moment to appear in the doorway.

  “Ah, I am glad you are here,” Aidan murmured as he pushed to his feet. “Wait a minute.”

  “My, I am honoured that you are so grateful to see
me,” Jerry replied with a smile. “What is happening?”

  Aidan brought him up to date with the latest turn of events. Jerry stared at him in stunned surprise. Aidan didn’t get the chance to discuss it with him further. Rollo, Mrs Kempton, and Aggy arrived.

  “Excellent. Close the door, Rollo,” he ordered.

  He waited until everyone was before him and stood to one side of the fireplace for a moment while he gathered his thoughts.

  “Where is Edwards?”

  “She is in bed, sir. She has come down with the same illness everyone else has had, or claims to have in any case,” Mrs Kempton reported. It was evident from the tone of her voice that she doubted the woman was ill at all.

  “As long as she stays in her room that is fine by me for the time being,” Aidan declared. “She is less likely to cause trouble for anyone in there.”

  Rollo frowned at him but had yet to speak. It was clear from the expression on his face that he was out-of-sorts.

  “Now then, where is Petal?”

  Everyone looked hesitantly at each other. It was Rollo who coughed uncomfortably and took a step forward.

  “She has left, sir. She was with me this morning and became quite distressed. She said she was leaving. I believe she has packed her things and returned to her father’s farm over in Netherbridge.”

  Aidan nodded and looked at Jerry. “Right then, I think it is time there were a few changes about this house. Do you remember the conversation we had the other day about my choice for a bride?”

  Jerry nodded. “Of course, I do.”

  “Well, I have chosen her.”

  He looked at Rollo, who was unable to suppress his groan of disappointment.

  “It is not Edwards,” Aidan assured them all when he witnessed their despondent looks. “It could never be that gargoyle of a woman.”

  Rollo uncharacteristically dropped his butler persona and puffed his cheeks out on a sigh of relief.