Until It's Right

by Jamie Howard

  “Positive. Just tell me where you are and I’ll come pick you up.”

  Something loosens inside of me. “I’m at the apartment building on the corner of Fifth and Broad. You know it?”

  “Actually, yeah. I’m only like five blocks over. Give me a couple minutes and I’ll be there.”

  “You’re seriously the best. I owe you big-time.”

  “Well, maybe I’ll let you repay the favor sometime.” His words are laced with humor and I can practically hear the smile in his voice. Surprisingly, despite the fact that I’m dripping water on the lobby floor and my night has been one of the worst ones I’ve had in a long time, I’m smiling too. Somehow Kyle always has that effect on me.

  Chapter 8

  Kyle

  “Welcome to Casa Lawson.” I hold the door open for Haley, and she steps through behind me, gripping her purse and a plastic bag in her hands. I give the apartment a quick survey to make sure my chaotic cleanup was at least semi-successful. My hamper with my dirty laundry is still sitting out in the hall, but at least the fifty or so water bottles I’ve collected over the past couple of weeks are safely in the recycling can.

  Haley glances around her and then smiles. “I really like your place. It’s very you.”

  “Thanks,” I say, automatically. I’m never sure how to take it when someone says it’s very me. What does that even mean? Like, is my geeky underbelly given away by my choice of curtains or something? “How about we find you something to wear? I’m sure I’ve got something.”

  She follows me toward my bedroom, hovering just outside it as I rummage through my dresser. I find a T-shirt and give it a sniff test before grabbing a pair of basketball shorts and handing them over to her. “These should work.”

  She sighs. “You’re a lifesaver.”

  “Well, I hope I’m one of the good flavors.”

  She laughs, but her eyes drop immediately to my lips.

  I so did not mean that as any type of sexual innuendo, but obviously now I’m thinking about what she’d taste like. Something sweet no doubt, like a pineapple Life Saver. Or maybe the fruit punch.

  “—bathroom?”

  My ears tune back in to the conversation just to catch the end of her sentence. “The bathroom? It’s just to your right. Can’t miss it.”

  “Great, thanks.”

  The bathroom door clicks closed behind her and I run a hand over my face. I’ve got to get it together. Being attracted to Haley makes my brain revert back to its fifteen-year-old self, and teenage Kyle was not a catch. Not unless bumbling, stuttering nerds are your jam. But sometimes the way she looks at me makes me feel like she’s feeling it too.

  Maybe I just need to consult an outside source on the situation. Get a female opinion on it. With a quick glance at the closed bathroom door, I dig my work cell out of my pocket, and a grin breaks across my face. Rereading my conversation with Lois, the funny, charming stranger I’ve been texting, has that instant effect on me. I send her a quick message, checking in on her horrific date.

  Me: Has Momma shown up yet? Or maybe his wife?

  A response flashes across my screen a few seconds later.

  Lois: You’re HILARIOUS! But no, the worst date ever is officially over. Except I ended my night by locking my keys in my car. I don’t know where you live but it’s downpouring here and I’m drenched. Thank God for my friend or I’d have a long wait before my roommate gets home.

  My heart twinges at the response, and suddenly the sound of raindrops pounding against my window is the only thing I can hear. Involuntarily, my gaze settles back on the bathroom. It can’t be, can it? I mean it’s probably raining in at least five different states right now, and it’s not all that uncommon to lock your keys in your car. There’s no way that of the millions of phone numbers and people who are out there, somehow I’ve been texting Haley, is there?

  As I’m staring at the door, it swings open and my stomach plummets to the ground. Haley’s a knockout at work—makeup perfectly applied, hair neat and straight, always in her business outfits. She’s killer in those heels and pencil skirts. But right now? With her hair wet and twisted up on top of her head and practically drowning in my clothes? She’s just flat-out beautiful.

  I swallow and then mentally kick myself in the ass. “Let’s throw your clothes in the dryer.”

  She passes me the bundle of wet clothes and then lifts up the plastic bag she’s been carrying around. “I know I’m running a little low on favors, but do you think I could heat this up in your microwave? My date bailed on me and I never got to eat my dinner.”

  “Go for it.” I gesture toward the kitchen with my head. “Plates are in the cabinet to the left of the sink.”

  Taking care of Haley’s clothes—did I mention she was wearing a white lace bra? emphasis on “was”?—I pull up a seat at my kitchen counter. The microwave beeps a few seconds later, and Haley heads my way, hopping up onto the stool next to mine. She sets the plate on the counter and passes me a fork.

  I look at her in question.

  “There’s no way I’m going to eat all of this. I figured you could help me finish it off. Consider it the beginning of my reparations.” She shrugs and then shifts on her stool. When we’re facing each other, our legs alternate—mine, hers, mine, hers—like we’re some type of jigsaw puzzle. The tiniest hint of her slim knee pokes out from underneath my baggy shorts, and that small expanse of skin should not be turning me on, but it so is.

  “Oh.” She holds up a finger while she finishes chewing. “I texted my roommate and she should be home in an hour, so you’ll be off the hook pretty soon.”

  Oh, Haley. I’d much rather be on the hook, trust me. I scoop up a forkful of rice and finally ask the question that’s been impatiently waiting to stampede out of my mouth. “So, how was the date?”

  “Awful. Horrific.” She rolls her eyes and nibbles on her piece of chicken. “I mean seriously, who joins an online dating site and actually goes out with someone before they’re even divorced?”

  The grains of rice I’m trying to swallow transform into tiny shards of glass and stick in my throat. “He was … married?”

  “Married, lives with his mom, balding.” She ticks them off on her fingers. Her eyebrows pinch together as she looks at me. “Are you alright? You’re not choking or something, are you? I’m not really well versed in the Heimlich maneuver.”

  I shake my head and manage to squeeze out, “I’m fine,” between clenched teeth. Haley keeps talking about her date but I can’t hear her over the blood roaring in my ears. My gaze strays over to her boots as I desperately look for confirmation that it’s just an awful coincidence, but when they land on her black boots, black not brown, I give up looking for excuses. Lois is Haley. Haley is Lois. If I wasn’t convinced the universe had it out for me after everything that happened with Stacy, this giant middle finger it’s giving me has to be a sign.

  Haley nudges me with her knee and I flinch. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  This is my opening. I need to lay all my cards on the table and admit to her that I’m Clark. That she accidentally texted me and has kept it up almost every day since then. My mind theorizes her response—she’ll be embarrassed probably, but she might not think it’s a big deal. Or she’ll be so embarrassed that she won’t be able to look at me the same again. It doesn’t matter. I have to tell her.

  “Haley…” I set my phone on the counter between us, not even wanting to look at it. “There’s something I need to—”

  My other phone starts blasting out “Enter Sandman” by Metallica from the depths of my pocket.

  Haley lifts an eyebrow in question. “Really?”

  “That’s all my brother. Hold on, I’ve gotta take this.” Wedging the phone between my shoulder and my ear, I say, “Hey man, what’s up?”

  Brian’s voice booms back at me. “This was a test, Kyle. And you failed.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “It’s a Friday night! You’re s
upposed to be out, partying. What did we talk about last weekend? You’re never going to get any action if you never leave your living room.”

  Yeah, I am so not having this conversation right now. “I’m busy right now, Bri. I’ll call you later.”

  “Busy? C’mon, don’t lie to me. You’re at home, doing what? Playing Halo? Watching the game?”

  I clench my jaw and the words steamroll their way out of my mouth before my brain flashes the warning sign. “Actually, I’m having dinner with a friend. A girl friend.” My eyes land on Haley—chin in her hand, cheeks a little bit pink, clearly amused. “I mean she’s not my girlfriend.” Her smile deepens. “She’s just a friend who happens to be female.”

  For God’s sake, Kyle, stop talking.

  “For your sake, I kinda hope that’s not actually true.”

  “Sadly, it is.”

  “Ouch.” He hesitates for a second and I can almost hear the gears grinding as he thinks. “You want me to talk to her? I can smooth this over for you.”

  “No.” It comes out practically as a shout and Haley frowns. She nods toward the couch, slides off the stool, and squeezes me on the shoulder as she walks into the living room.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to step on any toes.”

  “You didn’t.” I sigh.

  “Worried I’ll steal your girl?”

  I glance over my shoulder at Haley, and say softly, “She’s not my girl.”

  Brian grunts and the phone crackles in my ear. “Ky, you know I’d never do that to you, right?”

  “Yeah, I know.” I slide my fingers under my glasses so I can rub my eyes. He’d never intentionally do that, but that doesn’t mean that any girl who met him after they met me wouldn’t instantly realize they’d picked the wrong brother. “I’m just a little tense.”

  “No kidding.” He laughs. “You know what’s actually really good for relieving some tension—”

  “Good-bye, Brian.” I cut him off with a laugh of my own.

  “Night, Kyle,” he answers, still cracking up.

  I shove my phone back in my pocket and walk over to Haley, flopping down onto the couch next to her. The leather cushion is cold against the back of my neck as I lean my head against it.

  She shifts a little so she’s facing me. “Everything alright?”

  “Yeah.” I shrug. “Just my little brother checking in on me. He’s worried I’m not getting out enough.”

  “Sounds like my roommate.” She grins and then pokes me in the arm. “Hey, I know. Maybe he should sign you up for an online dating site and make you go out on dates with five different women.”

  I shake my head. “No way.”

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t really recommend it.” Something in her expression shifts, like her emotions are battling for center stage on her face. “I know you mentioned you had a sister, and now a brother. Any other siblings?”

  “Nope, just the one brother and sister.” I stretch out my legs and rest my feet on the coffee table, folding my hands over my stomach. “Teresa is … well, you heard me on the phone with Brian, and Teresa is about a thousand times worse. Then again, she’s a teenager, so she gets a little bit of a pass.” A smile spreads across my face. “Then there’s my mom. If she’s not harassing me about grandchildren then she’s stuffing me full of food because I’m too skinny and sending me home with more leftovers than I can fit in my tiny freezer.” I belatedly realize I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent and clear my throat. “Not that you asked about my mom.”

  “No, it’s nice. I don’t know a lot of people that have that good of a relationship with their family.” Haley tucks her knees up against her chest and leans her cheek against the couch cushion. “What about your dad?”

  “Die-hard sports fan—that’s where Brian and I got it from. He travels a lot for work, so I don’t get to see him as much as I’d like.” I nudge her with my elbow. “What about you? I know your dad got you hooked on baseball, so that’s already won him points in my book.”

  Her eyes shift away from mine, just the tiniest bit so that she’s still looking at me but not really looking at me. “I’ve got two younger sisters, but I’m not really close with my family.”

  Then she lets me see it—the pain that’s clouding her eyes, so stark that it feels like someone sucker-punched me right in the throat. My first instinct is to hold her, to wrap her in my arms and offer to help her fight off her demons. But I’m not sure that’s something our current relationship would allow. And damn but a part of me hates being her friend, because I want it to be so much more than that.

  Hesitantly, I reach out my hand and squeeze her knee. A deep sigh works its way through her that lets me know I made the right move, and then she lays her hand on top of mine. Without even thinking about it, I wrap my thumb up around hers, making a statement with just that one finger—I’m holding your hand. And she lets me, not letting go for what feels like the longest sixty seconds of my life.

  Chapter 9

  Haley

  There has to be something fundamentally wrong with the universe that I actually look forward to going to work. Not only that, but I wake up with a smile on my face. A smile that’s still stretching to every corner of my mouth as I sit across the table from Kyle, eating my lunch.

  Nothing really happened between the two of us over the weekend. Him briefly holding my hand can only qualify as a huge deal if I was, oh I don’t know, in middle school. But there’s something there, a spark that’s simmering underneath my skin, vibrating through me with a steady hum of excitement.

  I’d be reveling in it, soaking it in, if it weren’t for the fact that Kyle’s been acting weird ever since I showed up at work last Monday morning. I thought he’d been sending me signals at his place, even before that really, but I’ve got nothing but mixed signals now. His smile slides all over his face when he looks at me, like it’s trying to run away.

  Kyle’s wearing that wobbly smile right now as he swallows down a healthy bite of his ham and cheese wrap. “So, how was date number … three? It’s three, right?”

  “Three. Number one was the married guy, number two was the really old guy who could’ve been my grandfather.” I shudder. “Number three was surprisingly good-looking, like the kinda guy you can definitely tell is an athlete. He was charming and funny, right up until the part where he slipped the waitress his number.”

  “Three strikeouts.” He grimaces and snags a fry from my plate. “One more and you’ll get—”

  “The golden sombrero, I know. I’m up on my baseball terminology, remember?” I dunk a fry in the ketchup and bite off the tip. “Just two more dates to go and I am done.”

  He looks at me curiously. “You don’t want to date anyone?”

  Something clicks together in my brain. Does he actually think that I want to go on these dates? Or that going out with these other random guys means that I’m not interested in him? I mean, that actually makes sense. Why didn’t that cross my mind before?

  I stand, taking one last sip of my water as Kyle grabs our empty plates and tosses them in the trash. “It’s not that I don’t want to date anyone, but I really don’t think this whole online dating thing is working for me.” Pressing my hand against the glass door, I push it open and hold it as Kyle follows behind me. The sounds of the busy cafeteria dim behind us as the door swings shut. “I know there’s supposed to be some type of formula with these websites to find someone you’re compatible with, but I haven’t clicked with any of these guys.”

  He pushes the button for the elevator and it lights up red. “Right.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he looks at me, one corner of his mouth turning down. “You just haven’t met the right person yet, I guess.”

  What’s the right way to tell him that I think I have?

  My purse vibrates against my side and I rummage through it. “Hold on, I’ve got to…” I read the name on my screen and can feel all the blood drain from my face. A wave of dizziness washes over me.

  “Haley?” Kyle
’s fingers wrap around my elbow, but I can barely feel them. My entire body tingles and it feels like a ball of ice has lodged itself inside my chest.

  My hand trembles as I step back from him, but I can’t even drag my eyes up from my phone to look at him. “Just give me a second, okay?”

  The sharp staccato click of my heels against the marble floor echoes around me.

  Luke’s name flashes across the screen as my cell emits another buzz. Why is he calling? What could he possibly want? My only thought and the only reason I decide to answer the phone is that it has to be an emergency. There’s absolutely no other reason why he’d be reaching out to me after all this time.

  I slide a finger across the phone and lift it up to my ear. “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s me.”

  Hearing his voice is like stepping in a scalding hot shower with a terrible sunburn. It hurts everywhere, and my spine stiffens from the feel of it. “What’s … what’s wrong?”

  “Well…” He pauses and the sound of voices and exuberantly applied silverware filters through the line. It’s possible that he’s at Gran’s Diner, but I’d lay money on it that he’s working a shift at The Edge. He never could learn the art of delegating. After a full thirty seconds he finally adds on, “There’s a girl here, says she’s your sister?”

  This is the part where I’d stumble backward and fall into a chair, but sadly there’s a lack of furniture in the lobby. Instead I sway on my heels and slap my palm against the wall to steady myself. “My sister?”

  I can almost hear his shrug. “That’s what she says. I wouldn’t have bothered you, but she’s really adamant that she speak to you.” Static crackles and Luke lowers his voice. “Listen, if this girl’s a whack job, I’ll get rid of her. I almost didn’t call at all. I mean I think you would have mentioned that you had a—”

  “Her name’s Beth?”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  I glance down at my watch. “I’m leaving work now but it’s going to take me a little bit to get there. Can you let her hang out at a table or something until I get there?”