The Complete Groupie Trilogy

by Ginger Voight

  Her mouth opened with what could only be more advice, and warnings he couldn’t heed. He reached up with a finger over her lips and shook his head. Her blue eyes were concerned, and it was funny how he had never quite noticed how her lashes perfectly framed them without any makeup whatsoever.

  He also couldn’t help but notice how soft her lips felt against his finger.

  He pulled away as quickly as it took the completely inappropriate feelings to wash over him in a flood. He cleared his throat. “So. Eight o’clock, then?”

  Maggie struggled to compose herself as she gave him a small nod. She said nothing at all as he turned and lumbered toward his bedroom.

  By the following morning, both Maggie and Graham had slipped back into their respective roles. She drove him hard while they worked on his physical therapy, and didn’t say word one about Andy, Vanni, or their current situation.

  Likewise, in a beach house many miles south of Malibu, Vanni and Andy didn’t talk about their situation either. They ate their breakfast in silence, and didn’t even talk much when her morning walk on the beach was cut short by lingering paparazzo milling around the waterside.

  She stayed behind her laptop computer, corresponding with Shannon regarding Fierce, while Vanni tinkered around on the piano. Normally it would have been a comfortable cohabitation, but the specter of Holly hung in the air like a palpable stench.

  Vanni wanted to call Holly, or at least text her, to see if she had bought food with the money he left. He wanted to recommend that she eat fruit and vegetables, and even volunteer to take her to the store if need be.

  But after he thought about it, the gesture – though considerate – would generate more harm than good. His taking his “baby mama” to the store would surely hit the front page of every tabloid because PING was watching every move he made like a hawk.

  He was relieved that his first covert visit to see her hadn’t been detected.

  He couldn’t risk upsetting Andy any more than he could risk stoking controversy in front of their new show. The rumors swirled that he had been attached as a judge, but until the press conference the following week nothing had been officially “confirmed.”

  The whole, “will he, won’t he,” aspect had every tongue in town wagging. Fans were foaming at the mouth to see their favorite rock star on their TV screens every week, so sponsors were lining up to toss money their direction.

  Of course there were those who considered this potential move of his a “sell-out,” namely Yael – who was still seething in resentment that Vanni had put the brakes on Dreaming in Blue. He had already been quoted in the press about it, which – though he didn’t say as much – Andy knew was eating Vanni up inside. He hated any criticism that he’d let someone down. It was his biggest fear.

  Now that he didn’t have alcohol to trip his “don’t-give-a-fuck” switch, he felt every barb and sting. He stayed away from the Internet and didn’t listen to the news. He didn’t want to hear how badly he was fucking up, when all he was really trying to do was fix what he’d already turned to shit.

  As if his mood couldn’t sink any lower, Ivy Cunningham called late Friday and told him the Wilkes had withdrawn the original settlement demand and were now in a holding pattern to see what kind of payoff he’d be getting from Fierce. She couldn’t even guarantee him they wouldn’t take him directly to court and bypass the settlement process entirely.

  It seemed his entire life had become a holding pattern while vultures circled.

  Worse, there didn’t seem to be any way to make everyone happy as he tried to fix it all.

  He sank further into a funk as each minute ticked by. He didn’t say anything to Andy, who juggled her own anxiety that her baby might have a half-sibling from an opportunist of a mother. She decided not to talk to Vanni about it, since it would only serve to make him feel worse. Instead she ended up texting back and forth to Graham after his first, “How you holding up, kiddo?” message.

  When Vanni went to the gym to clear his head, she decided to call Graham. He was, as usual, a calming influence. She was extraordinarily grateful he didn’t use the opportunity to hammer the point home this was the kind of future she could expect with Vanni, whose history came with such complications. Instead he spent most of the call assuring her that until they knew for sure Holly was pregnant there was no need to twist herself in knots trying to figure out how to handle it. All they could really do now was wait.

  Only Vanni didn’t have the luxury of waiting. Holly called him when he was in route to the gym. She had panicked over some spotting and wanted to go to the ER, but Julian was off doing day labor and unable to take her. She was beside herself with worry, panicky and in tears, so Vanni flipped the car around and headed straight for Hollywood.

  He decided not to tell Andy about his change of plans. She’d try to talk him out of it, which would have been fruitless, then she would have worried the entire time he was gone. It was best not to concern her with it until they knew what was going on – and a hospital visit certainly would confirm a few things for him.

  They waited for hours at the county hospital. He wore extremely casual workout clothes with his hair tied back and sunglasses on. If anyone around him recognized him, they made no mention of it. Holly was the star of that particular show, especially after she fainted in the waiting room.

  They rushed them to an examination room. The doctor was shocked by her emaciated state, especially in her condition. The older man sent a look of stern disapproval to the man at her side, the father, she claimed, who looked like he had money to spare on a fancy workout outfit. Yet this woman, the mother of his child, looked practically homeless and starving.

  He had her change into a hospital gown so he could examine her. She winced as he pressed down on her stomach. He used a fetal monitor to detect the heartbeat, which was fast and surprisingly strong as it echoed throughout the small room.

  For the second time that year, Vanni heard the reassuring heartbeat of his child.

  His children.

  There were tears in Holly’s eyes as she reached for his hand. He gave her a small smile as he squeezed it in response.

  The doctor also ordered an ultrasound. Holly insisted that he stay for the duration, so he could see the results for himself. She had no way of knowing that this wasn’t the first ultrasound he had seen, so he understood what the technician was pointing out. He knew that this was no con game. The doctor reiterated what she had told him; that she was about eleven weeks pregnant and had conceived in December.

  She had severe nausea and vomiting, though, which the doctor told them was a medical condition known as hyperemesis gravidarum. Because of this she had dangerously dehydrated, so the doctor wanted to admit her and keep her on an IV.

  He stayed with her until she was admitted, signing off as the responsible party for her care. He advised the hospital she needed to be in a private room due to elevated interest from the press. Night had fallen by the time he returned home, and he knew there was no way to avoid telling Andy where he had been and what he had learned.

  She would be so disappointed, even hurt and betrayed that he had lied to her and gone behind her back – again – in regards to another woman.

  He could only hope she would be reassured by the ring on her finger and their own baby in her womb. He may have to take care of Holly for the duration of her pregnancy, but he was a one-woman man.

  She was napping on the couch when he entered the house. He dropped his keys in a bowl on the counter before he stepped down into the sunken living room just under the shadow of their loft bedroom overhead. He knelt beside her where she slept, so healthy and radiant and strong. He touched her hair and then caressed her back. His heart hurt from how much he loved her. How could he keep letting her down?

  With a sigh he sat next to the couch. He’d made such a mess of things. He was now the father of two babies from different mothers, due to deliver mere months apart. Holly had been right; an absentee parent hurts the chi
ld. So how in the world was he going to balance going back and forth between two completely different families?

  He had wanted to marry Andy before their baby was born, but now he didn’t feel right pressuring her to say “I do” when he had other, complicated obligations. When she had said yes to his proposal, Holly hadn’t even been a blip on their radar. Now it cast a shadow over everything.

  He rubbed his eyes with one hand. It wasn’t entirely Holly’s fault. Despite her scheming, he was the one who hopped into her bed, repeatedly and enthusiastically. He could blame the booze or her manipulation, but the fact was he wanted to sleep with her. When they went on their little sex marathon in December, he was a willing participant. Sure, he might have done things differently had he known she was trying to get pregnant… but he was the dumbass who jumped headlong into a relationship with her based on her word alone. He could have been smarter about it.

  He should have been smarter about it.

  Why hadn’t he been? He thought back to Thanksgiving, when he had fallen hard off the wagon. He could have blamed Leo for his lapse but he had wanted to take that drink as much as he wanted to conquer Holly after all the months she made him wait. They were all convenient excuses so that he could have some get-out-of-jail free card when consequences finally caught up with him.

  That had been his M.O. for a long time. And he made peace with it in his own mind that as long as he made no promises to anyone, he really wasn’t harming anyone but himself. Anyone who got involved did so at their own risk.

  He couldn’t be responsible for everyone, right?

  Only now he was responsible for everyone. He was responsible for Yael, and the commitment he made to the band. He was responsible to Holly, who carried his child and faced so many challenges both with her health and with her finances – even her security.

  He glanced at Andy. In a perfect world he’d only be responsible to her. But he’d made sure their world was anything but perfect. He had carved out his own rules that suited his own purposes at the time, thinking that would patch up the dam some day when it threatened to burst.

  Now everything was leaking and all he could hope for is that none of them drowned.

  Andy moaned in her sleep. She did that a lot now. She never shared the nightmares that had begun to interrupt her slumber a few weeks ago, so Vanni didn’t know what kind of dragons he was fighting as he rubbed her back and crooned to her to soothe her.

  Her eyes fluttered open, and then focused on him. “You’re back,” she said as she pulled into a sitting position. “What took you so long?”

  He swallowed hard. He hated feeling like the bad boy about to get a lecture and sent to his room without supper. He hated knowing that this woman, whose love for him validated him, would be angry with him about anything. It left him feeling vulnerable, and he hated that worse than anything in the whole world.

  But he had to tell her.

  She had to know.

  “I was with Holly,” he said simply.

  She crossed her legs and her arms, creating a barrier between them with nothing but her angry body language. “I see.”

  His first impulse was to leap into the many excuses he had rehearsed to himself on the way home. He figured he could put the emphasis on the emergency visit, to prove to Andy her anger was unjustified. But Vanni knew it was unfair to her to do that. He had done what he had always done; erred on the side of asking forgiveness rather than permission. “I also went to see her the other day.”

  “After I asked you not to,” she reminded.

  He nodded. “I had to see for myself, Andy. I had to know.”

  Andy jumped from the couch to stomp over to the kitchen, where she withdrew a bottle of juice. “And what did the drama queen have to say? What lies did she sell you this time?”

  “She’s not lying, Andy. She’s pregnant. And it’s mine.”

  “Wonderful,” she spat. “Maybe you’ll get some kind of group discount at the hospital. Or should I say ‘groupie?’” Vanni didn’t answer so she forged on. “And what kind of proof did she offer, Vanni? Some discarded pee stick?”

  He shook his head. “I felt her stomach,” he confessed. Her mouth gaped open as she stared at him. He actually touched another woman? He touched that woman? Vanni forged on. “Then, today, I took her to the hospital. They did an ultrasound. I confirmed it with the doctor. It’s not a con.”

  Andy gulped back any tears over the huge lump in her throat. She had stopped listening after hearing he had put his hands on another woman’s body. “I see,” she said again.

  He rose to his feet and walked over to where she stood on the other side of the counter. “I fucked up, Andy. Again. And I don’t know what to do.”

  Her eyes were rimmed red with unshed tears as she glared at him. “What do you want to do?” she asked, though she feared the answer.

  He reached for her and pulled her stiff body towards him. “I want to marry you. I want to have a family with you. I love you. That hasn’t changed and it’s never going to change.”

  “But?”

  “But I can’t forsake her or her baby – my baby – and you know why.” Then, unintentionally, he threw her own words back in her face. “Would I be the man that you love if I could?”

  She hesitated only for a moment before she shook her head. “So what now?”

  He sighed again as he rested his chin on top of her head. “I don’t know. But whatever it is, I want us to be in it together.”

  Her arms finally circled him. “I guess it’s wishful thinking to hope someone else fathered her kid, huh?”

  He chuckled humorlessly. “Who else would it be? Julian?” Then, more seriously, “I’d honestly rather err on the side that it’s mine. She’s in bad shape, babe. Even if I’m not the dad, I couldn’t leave her living like she is now.”

  She didn’t like hearing that but she didn’t say anything. It still reeked of a setup to her. Holly played the innocent damsel in distress well, and they already knew she wasn’t above using PING to her favor. Andy had a sneaking suspicion that Holly had let PING break the news of her pregnancy so that she could tell Vanni later she hadn’t sought his help or attention.

  Her very presence in Los Angeles proved otherwise.

  The only one she could say those things to was Graham, who suspected likewise. They had the luxury of approaching the whole thing more logically and rationally.

  Vanni was currently being driven by guilt and regret.

  Holly had him right where she wanted him.

  The next day, when Vanni told Andy he was heading to the hospital, she told him that she wanted to go with him. She felt they needed to present a unified front to Holly, to let her know that despite her scheming, they were solid and unbreakable.

  Vanni shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, babe.”

  She faced him with her arms crossed over her chest. “Why not?”

  “For the same reason you had to go see Graham alone,” he shot back. He hated being defensive about it, but didn’t she see how much his back was against the wall already? “Look, she’s scared. She’s in the hospital. Now is not the time to drop the bomb on her that I’m marrying somebody else. She’ll feel even more insecure than she already does.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You haven’t told her we’re engaged?”

  “I told her my relationship with you is none of her business. She can find out when the rest of the world finds out. I’m there for her baby, not to be her best friend.” Andy glared at him, which made him approach her to unravel her arms and take her hands in his. “I just… I don’t want to run the risk of her bolting again. I know that would be easier, but – I could never be okay knowing my kid is somewhere out there, living a life like I lived, thinking his dad doesn’t want him. Please get that, Andy.”

  She did get that. It was why she was terrified of someone like Holly having his kid. She could, and would, hold him hostage for a lifetime. “How far are you willing to go, Vanni?” she asked s
oftly. “Are you willing to marry her?”

  “I’m marrying you,” he said as he gripped her tighter.

  “Then tell her that.”

  “I will,” he promised. “But not today. Today just let me handle it my way. Okay?”

  She allowed him to gather her into his arms, but despite the strength of his embrace she felt anything but assured. She watched silently as he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

  She waited until he had driven out of sight, followed not so subtly by the leeches of PING, before she grabbed her own set of keys and headed for her car.

  She took a long, scenic route around the city, hoping that if any PING stragglers had decided to follow her they would ultimately be bored silly by her uninteresting schedule and shake themselves free. She stopped for tea, did some minor shopping, and went to a boutique. She even switched her pink diamond from her left hand to her right in order to make her first real outing around L.A. anything but newsworthy. She’d only worn it for a few days, but already her left hand felt naked without it – but these were the kinds of precautions she’d have to take if she wanted to fly under the radar.

  And today she definitely did.

  Finally, when she believed the coast was clear, she headed straight to Malibu.

  Maggie opened the door to her. Her shock was visible after all the months they hadn’t seen each other, and her expression wasn’t entirely welcoming. “Hello, Andy.”

  “Hi, Maggie. How’ve you been?”

  “Fine,” was her clipped reply. “Graham’s in the whirlpool.”

  Andy noted the woman had not moved from the doorframe, as though she was creating a physical barrier to her entry. She knew Maggie would not be happy with her, especially after all the time she’d stayed away. However, she hadn’t expected the other woman to be so territorial.

  It made sense, Andy decided. Maggie was essentially the woman of the house now. The only one who had never let Graham down.

  “I can wait,” she offered.

  Maggie hesitated, but then finally relented and allowed her to enter.