Graham stared thoughtfully after her.
“Good woman,” Shannon supplied. “She was quite the sport when Jorge got the notion to take her under his wing. He doesn’t do that for just anybody.”
He nodded. “Thank him for me,” he said.
Shannon grinned as she took a seat at the table. “So what’s the deal with you and Maggie, anyway? If you don’t mind me asking.”
He shrugged as he sat in the chair next to her. In the past few months they had worked pretty closely, and he had come to consider Shannon a friend as well as a colleague. He had confided in her about the triangle with Andy and Vanni, as well as all the scandal that surrounded them all. He felt it only fair since she was investing her brand in his label and Vanni’s image, not to mention giving Andy a job on the team.
She had always been a sensitive and nonjudgmental listener, which he desperately needed after that fight with Andy that had sent him into a drunken stupor. She was the one who convinced him to release Andy from his own failed expectations. If he cared about her, truly cared about her, he couldn’t afford to be selfish. Enough people had been hurt; and holding onto his anger and resentment was only poisoning him now.
He knew she was right.
Graham took a deep breath before he answered her question about Maggie. “She’s my nurse,” he said. “Damn good one, too. She performed a miracle with me, Shan. The reason I’m walking today is because she never let me give up. She’s tireless and devoted and demands nothing but the best from everyone around her.”
“Sounds like a remarkable person,” Shan said softly.
He nodded. “She’s the best.”
Shannon leaned forward to put her elbows on the table. “So what happens when you don’t need a nurse anymore?”
He looked at her like the thought had never crossed his mind. “What do you mean?”
“You say she’s your nurse. Her job was to get you walking, right?” He nodded. “You’re walking,” she pointed out. “What now?”
“Yeah, but we still have a lot of work to do,” he said. “I couldn’t imagine doing half the stuff I do without her. She keeps me focused and on track.”
“So… she’s an assistant?”
He shook his head. “She’s more than that. She’s my friend.”
“That you pay,” Shannon clarified. “Which brings me back to the question – what happens when that job is done?”
It almost startled Graham to realize he didn’t want Maggie’s job to be done. Ever. He couldn’t imagine not seeing her regularly, having her around to tease and to confide in – to have as his biggest cheerleader and taskmaster. But Shannon was right. It was Maggie’s job to be there. And jobs ended eventually.
The thought saddened him more than he thought it would. It lingered even as they left the lot and headed out to a nice restaurant her wondrous transformation demanded.
She wasn’t just a nurse. She was a woman… a beautiful, amazing woman.
He suddenly really wanted to treat her like one.
He ordered a bottle of champagne after they were seated. Maggie raised her eyebrow. “What’s the occasion?”
He grinned. “There doesn’t need to be an occasion to drink champagne,” he said. “Everyone should drink champagne for no reason at all.”
She giggled. “You’re the boss,” she said, which reminded Graham of his conversation with Shan.
“Is that all I am?” he asked as he perused the menu.
She was taken off guard by the question. “What do you mean?”
He looked up at her. “You perform a service and I pay you. Technically we’re a boss and an employee. But is that all?”
Her hands dropped into her lap. She wondered if he remembered their encounter in the guest bedroom when he’d been stinking drunk. She couldn’t think of anything to say so she waited for him to go on.
“I consider you my friend, Mags. Is that wrong?”
She gave a slow shake of the head. “No… of course not…”
“I’m just curious what is going to become of us when you move on to your next patient,” he said.
Her throat tightened. “Are you… ready… for me to move on, Graham?”
He shook his head. “Far from it,” he said softly. Their eyes locked and held, interrupted only by the waiter who brought their champagne to the table. After the glasses were poured, Graham raised his for a toast. “To friendships,” he said. “Long may they last.”
She nodded, but her stomach was in knots as she tried to force through that first swallow.
He took note of her discomfort. “You okay, Mags?”
She nodded and feigned a brave smile. “Of course. Look at me,” she said as she referred to the black dress.
He had to chuckle. “I actually can’t stop looking at you,” he confessed, and his heart tugged watching her blush in response.
“You may have to get me home before midnight. You don’t want me turning into a pumpkin on you.”
He laughed. “Very well. Since the clock is ticking, let’s get this party started.” He scooted out of the booth and offered his hand. “Dance with me?”
She had no words as she nodded and put her hand in his. He led her to the tiny, darkened dance floor of the trendy restaurant, located on the roof of a high rise in West L.A. He molded her to his body, and his hand felt warm against the small of her back, bared by the risqué dress. The beat of the music was sensual, so they swayed together almost hypnotically. He spun her out and back to him again, and when the music ended he dipped her. Her laugh rang out, joyful and true, which made Graham pull her close for another dance.
By the time they ordered their dinner they were flying high on giddy laughter from the champagne and the playfulness of their night. They even sat closer together in the booth as they let a decadent dessert digest.
It was comfortable. It felt right. For Graham, it felt more intimate than any sexual encounter, and more solid than any marriage.
How had he not noticed this before?
He caught her staring wistfully at the happy couples on the dance floor. For some reason he had the immediate impulse to brush the strand of hair that had dipped over her eye, but managed to hold himself back.
“You ever think about doing it all again?” he asked softly.
Her lovely eyes met his, but it almost felt like the first time he ever looked into them.
“There never seemed to be a reason,” she said. “Mitchell was my high school sweetheart. Your first love is the most intense, so I knew everything else would pale by comparison.”
Finally he reached out and brushed her hair from her face. “Everything?”
Her mouth parted as his fingers brushed against the curve of her face, light as a feather. She was lost in his darkened eyes. How could she say anything and not spill everything?
“Don’t you miss being touched, Maggie?” he asked in that same low voice.
She gulped. “Graham…”
“Just between friends,” he grinned. “I miss being touched… being kissed,” he said as he touched her lips. “Being wanted. I mean, we’re only human after all.”
She nodded and licked her lips, which drew his attention there. “Maybe I’ve been wanting the wrong things,” he said. “Maybe I chase after what I can’t have just so I can have the wanting.”
She saw the pain flash across his face. She touched his hand with her own. “I believe you really loved Andy,” she said. “We’ve all loved someone more than they could love us in return,” she said. “It sucks but the sad truth is you can love anyone at all in the world. You just can’t be with everyone you love.”
His eyes met hers. Had she not said that Mitchell was her high school sweetheart? Who had been Maggie Fowler’s unrequited love?
When her eyes darted from his, he suddenly understood. Why she had never left… why she had hated Andy… why she had temporarily moved out of the house when he chased – again – after Andy like a stray dog, and why she had moved back in whe
n he finally had to let Andy go. He relieved every moment like a burst of light in his brain. How blind he had been. He had almost missed it all. “Maggie…” he started but she glanced at her watch. “It’s almost midnight,” she said.
“Then I don’t have much time,” he said before he pulled her close. Her eyes widened as his head bent toward hers. His lips captured hers in a sweet, tentative, questioning kiss. With a small sigh she found herself submitting to it. Her hunger was raw and real, so he deepened the kiss as his hand wound itself in her hair. He was breathless as they broke apart. “Mags,” he muttered against her ear before he nuzzled her neck.
Every nerve ending went up in flames. She had wanted him for so long, it was almost like a dream for him to be kissing her or wanting her, for the ghost of Andy to be finally exorcised. It was her name he whispered, and it was the sweetest word Maggie had ever heard.
“We probably shouldn’t do this,” she whispered half-heartedly as he kissed his way back to her full lips. “You’re my boss,” she reminded.
He grinned. “You’re fired,” he said.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” she said before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the longing she had been suppressing.
Graham motioned for the check.
The drive between West L.A. and Malibu seemed agonizingly long as they stole kisses in the car on their way home. After he pulled into the garage, he took her by the hand, grabbed a blanket, and walked out onto the sandy beach that was his back yard. He pulled her down next to him and their mouths found each other, hungry for just one more kiss. They lay together, completely clothed, kissing and touching and exploring like the new lovers they were, without crossing that invisible barrier that would have led them both to his bedroom in the house.
Eventually his need demanded reevaluating this strange, new set of circumstances. This wasn’t like a normal date when he could drop her off at her home and take a cold shower till the next time. They lived together. Until about an hour ago they worked together. They were going to have to reorganize everything; otherwise it had the potential of blowing up in their faces. He lifted his head up on his elbow and looked down at her. “So where do we go from here, Maggie?”
She touched his face with her fingers. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I want you, but… I need to be sure that you’re not just using me to get over her.”
He nodded. He understood. “You call the shots, Mags,” he said. “And if you say so, I’ll walk – hunched over – to that house and stay in a cold shower till morning.”
She laughed as she hugged him close. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but stopped herself before the words finally broke free. Her mouth sought his and he was unwilling, and unable, to deny her.
That night they went to their respective bedrooms – alone – but as each fell asleep, the memory of their night, and the possibilities of their new beginning, fulfilled them in ways a fevered one-night-stand never could.
Maggie sent a special thanks to the Universe for her fairy godfather, Jorge.
He really had proved magical.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Los Angeles, California
May 21, 2011
Holly sat on the top of the examination table at her OB/GYN’s office. She was in week 26 of her pregnancy, much farther than she’d ever been in any of her other pregnancies, and as such each day felt like she was walking a tightrope over a pit of cobras. Her scare after Julian attacked her over a month ago had been followed by intermittent spotting, and just that morning she had started to bleed.
Worse, the baby was not as active as he was. Holly was in a panic as she rode in a taxi toward the doctor’s. She hadn’t told anyone, not even Vanni.
So her heart was in her throat when Dr. Pintu entered the office. He gave her a reassuring smile. “You have a very common condition called placenta previa,” he said. “Happens once in every couple hundred pregnancies. The placenta has grown over the cervix, which is why you are now starting to bleed.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“It can be,” he said honestly. “In a normal pregnancy, the placenta attaches at the top of your uterus by the third trimester to allow for delivery. In your case, the placenta has grown all the way over the cervix, which is considered complete, or total. Since it is unlikely to change, in this case I would recommend you have a C-section to deliver your baby safely.”
“Whatever it takes,” she said.
“Odds are you will continue to bleed spontaneously throughout your third trimester, and it can be severe. You may even experience contractions. The idea is to hold off delivering your baby until he is closer to term.”
“Of course,” she said. “But what can I do?”
“I’m going to put you on pelvic rest. That means no sexual intercourse, no vaginal exams. Nothing inserted into the vagina at all. Also, I’d advise bed rest. No strenuous activity.” He smiled. “Let them take care of you for a while.”
She nodded, but didn’t see how it would even be possible. If she hadn’t been such a chicken and allowed Vanni to come with her, maybe he would have moved her into his house to make sure she was OK.
Even has she had the thought, she dismissed it. She knew he’d never move in with her. He had tried to convince her to let him hire an assistant to do all the things he didn’t want to do for her since he was busy with Andy and his other baby. So far she’d kept him at bay, terrified that an assistant would actually spy on her and report Julian’s drug use to Vanni and they’d all wind up on the streets.
Again.
Dr. Pintu continued. “If it gets too bad, or if contractions start, then we’ll admit you to keep an eye on things. Right now everything looks fine enough to send you home. That’s more comfortable than a hospital,” he said as he patted her knee.
More comfortable, but not as safe.
From that first taste of heroin, Julian had been a shell of his former self. In the music, with the band, it helped to be angry and aggressive. At home, he took all that out on her. He had forced himself on her more than once, and she hadn’t been able to stop him.
What was she going to do now that sex could actually put her or her baby at risk?
She was still fretting over it when he got home that evening. She was in bed, too afraid to even get up to pee. He wasn’t happy to find her lounging around like some queen he’d have to bow down to.
He bowed to no one, especially a woman.
“Enjoy your day, princess?” he sneered as he peeled off his shirt.
“I went to the doctor,” she said.
“So?” he asked as he went into the bathroom, and she knew just what he was going to do there. “Julian, can we talk?”
“Not now,” he said through the door. “Leo’s coming over. We’re going out.”
She rolled her eyes. That would lead to nothing good. “Julian, it’s important.”
He didn’t respond and she knew why. She closed her eyes and prayed for strength. Could she kill a man, especially a man she’d known since she was a child, to save her son?
She thought about the kitchen knife she’d stuffed under the pillow and knew with all certainty she could.
But Julian didn’t come out and attack her. Instead he put on a nicer shirt just as Leo knocked on their door. He had a full bottle of whiskey in his hand and was ready to party. Fortunately for Holly, they decided to do that away from her.
She pulled out her phone and texted Vanni. “Need to see you. Please come.”
Within an hour he showed up on her doorstep. She didn’t answer, so he pushed open the door. “Hol?”
“Bedroom,” she called.
He wore concern on his face when he saw her. There was something wrong – she wore a panicked look in her eyes like he’d never seen before. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”
She shook her head. “He’s fine,” she said. “For now.”
Vanni came over to sit next to her on the bed. “What does that mean?
”
“I went to the doctor today,” she said. “I’ve been bleeding off and on. Today was bad. I was scared.”
Vanni took her hand. She was trembling. “Why didn’t you call me?”
She shook her head. “I’m so scared of losing this baby, Vanni. I can’t go through it again. I’d rather die.”
“What’d the doctor say?”
“My placenta has grown over my cervix. It’s going to cause me to bleed all the way through my third trimester. It may even cause me to go into pre-term labor.”
He stood and went to her closet. “We’re going to check you into a hospital,” he said.
“No, the doctor said everything is fine right now. I’m just on bed rest.”
Vanni returned to the bed. “So I’ll hire you a nurse. You can’t be here alone. Julian’s working, I’m working. You need someone to take care of you so you can rest.”
She nodded, tears of relief streaming down her face. She knew she couldn’t fight him, nor did she really want to. “Thank you,” she said.
“Of course,” he said as he sat back down and took her hand in his. “I told you I’d do anything to help.” He glanced to the nightstand where there was a bottle of water and a half-eaten apple. “Are you hungry? You want me to make you something to eat?”
She started to tell him no, but then reconsidered. “Sure.”
He gave her a big smile before disappearing into the kitchen. She rested her head against the headboard. All the worry she’d had seem to fall from her shoulders. Julian would surely keep things together if there was a paid nurse there to take care of her. The only thing he cared more about than his drug was the money to buy more – and that’s how he still regarded her baby. It was a ticket to everything he wanted.
She could only pray that would be enough to keep him sane until she could safely deliver her son.
Vanni brought her soup filled with healthy veggies, which she practically inhaled. She had been so worried all day she couldn’t eat anything for fear of throwing it back up again. He laughed as he watched. “Junior’s hungry,” he said as he reached over to rub her firm, full stomach. She was so tiny it seemed their baby was taking her over.
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