Holly nodded. “We could really go for some ice cream too,” she said with a grin, and Vanni was happy to comply. He fussed over her to the point she had to beg him to leave. She wanted him to stay, but it was just too risky. If Julian returned with Leo, the jig was up. He’d never be able to trust her again and would leave her to her devices, and who knew how crazed Julian would be if he got kicked out of the band – again – because of her selfish choices?
“Okay, I’m leaving,” he said as he bent down to give her a friendly kiss her on top of the head. He caressed their son, reassured by the tiny kick he felt in response. He hadn’t even met this little person yet, but already he had come to mean just as much to him as his little Bean. He couldn’t wait to hold him, and he would do whatever he could to keep him safe. Vanni sent her a stern look. “And next time you call me. No matter what happens. Okay?”
She nodded. “Thank you, Vanni,” she said softly as she reached for his hand. She wanted to kiss him again, but she couldn’t stand being rebuffed as he went back to the woman he truly loved. There would be time for all that later. They were bound for life now through this child. It’d never be over, and she would have to trust that.
The most important thing was keeping her son safe.
Now safety was only a day away, thanks to Vanni.
But Julian had other plans. He came home in worse shape than he left. He was screaming drunk and had taken a handful of Leo’s favorite pharmaceuticals. He smelled like perfume and sex, and she could only guess what kind of nefarious shenanigans they had gotten themselves into.
He flopped on the bed, fully clothed. “You missed a great party, Hol. Expensive booze, music, lots of skinny, young party girls who would do whatever they could to get next to the newest guitarist of Dreaming in Blue. I’m going to be chaffed in the morning,” he said as he adjusted himself.
“I’m glad you had your fun,” she said. “Because I’m off limits from now on.”
He laughed. “Look at you, Hol. You’re as big as a house. There are not enough drugs on the planet earth to get me high enough to fuck you,” he said.
He intended to hurt her with his words, but she was coolly unaffected. “Good. Remember that,” she said as she turned off her light. “Oh, and by the way – Vanni’s going to hire me a nurse. She’ll be here tomorrow to take care of me.”
“Why?”
“I told you. I went to the doctor. I need bed rest, so someone has to be here to take care of me.”
He sat up, instantly suspicious. “You mean like a spy?”
“No, of course not,” she said. “It’ll be a professional nurse.”
“Don’t be naïve,” he snapped. “You know how this works. How many times have we bribed people to get information we want? People are only as loyal as their highest bidder. Call him and tell him no dice.”
She sighed. She didn’t want to fight, but when Julian was high his paranoia was unparalleled. “Julian, I need help.”
“No, you don’t. You need exercise. Look at you,” he said as he grabbed the fleshy part of her thigh. “I know you want to think of yourself like a queen, but get over yourself. Women have been having babies for thousands of years. It ain’t this hard.”
“It is for me,” she said. “It always has been.”
He shot off the bed and began to pace. “Oh, right. Little Miss Victim. You made a career out of that shit, haven’t you? But you’re selling it to the wrong audience, baby. I know you better than anyone. I know all your tricks. This is just another game to get Mr. Wonderful to come running every time you call. When are you going to get it through your thick skull? He won’t ever leave her for you. You’re trash, Holly. You always have been. You always will be.”
She fought the tears. If he saw he was hurting her, it’d only give him fuel to keep going. “We’ll talk about this in the morning,” she said. “After you’ve had a chance to sober up.”
“Fuck you,” he snapped as he disappeared into the bathroom, no doubt to get even higher.
Her heart pounded as she waited for him to re-emerge. She had her hand on the knife under her pillow, poised to strike if he made one wrong move. He lingered so long in the bathroom she finally dozed – and woke up to find him with his hand in her hair and his mouth against her ear.
“What the fuck is this?” he said, indicated the knife in her loose grip.
Before she could grab it he flung it away. “It was protection,” she said, her heart beating fast in her chest. Now that he had seen that knife, he considered her the enemy. She was not only afraid for her baby, she was afraid for her life.
His hand closed around her tiny neck. “From what?” he growled. “Or should I say, who?”
“I can’t have sex with you, Julian,” she said. “The doctor said it’ll hurt the baby.”
“Is that right?” he bit out evilly. His hand slid between their bodies. “You know what I think? I think you’re lying like you always lie. You want to save yourself for your perfect Mr. Giovanni. You’re so pathetic,” he said as he pushed his fingers up inside her, causing her to cry out in pain and fear, which only spurred him on. “Chasing after him like a puppy too dumb to know it’s not fucking wanted.”
“Please, Julian,” she begged. “If anything happens to this baby, it’ll fuck up everything – all our plans, your future… please…”
When he withdrew his hand he saw the blood on his fingers, causing him to stumble away. “You can’t do anything right, you worthless little cunt!” he screamed as he started trashing the room.
Holly cried as cramps wracked her body. She had blissfully blacked out by the time he climbed back on the bed and his weight crashed down on her own.
When she blinked awake, she saw his unconscious, naked body next to her, covered with her blood. With a cry she grabbed her belly, which was frighteningly still. Rivers of blood stained the insides of her thighs.
She stumbled toward the bathroom, grabbing her cell phone on the way. She was in agonizing pain as she scrolled through her contact list. She paused as she saw Vanni’s name, but there was no way to explain any of this to him. He would never forgive her for all the lies, especially if it cost him his son.
So she called the only other person who could help her now. She knew she was selling her soul to the devil, but she had no choice. “Leo, it’s me.”
They were at a county hospital in east L.A. by midnight, but by then it was too late. Holly was told her placenta had ruptured, and as a result the baby had died in the womb. There was no heartbeat, no movement. Worst of all she’d have to have a C-section anyway to deliver her dead baby.
By morning she felt like a hollowed-out shell. She cried until there was nothing left as she watched the sun rise over the first day she’d live without the baby she’d come to love. Day in, day out, she’d rub her tummy, reassured by his kicks and his movement. Now there was nothing there. In fact, she had never felt so empty; she suspected they must have removed her heart and soul as well as the son she had so wanted. She called Vanni just after eight, feigned her brightest tone and told him that she had decided to hire the nurse herself. She wanted to feel comfortable with the person who would take care of her. He said he understood, and once again offered to do anything she, or their son, needed.
It was as if the knife that had sliced through her heart twisted. Just the day before he had touched her stomach and she had felt the connection within their family circle. It had been a bond to last a lifetime.
Now it was broken.
At least with her it was broken. He still had that bond with someone else. In a few months he’d still welcome a healthy child, leaving her once again with absolutely nothing… always on the outside looking in.
Holly seethed with hatred for Andy. It wasn’t fair. She got everything she ever wanted, so much so she could toss people away like garbage when they no longer suited her. She had done it to Vanni when she ran off with Graham, then did it to Graham when she went running back to Vanni.
The
only reason she wanted Vanni at all was because Holly did. It was probably why she sneaked off to New York City, nudging Holly out of the whole thing. She ruined her marriage by seducing him in the church that he and Holly were to marry. No doubt she got pregnant on purpose, too. It was the only way to make someone like Vanni stay with someone like her. She was horrible. And ugly. And fat.
And totally obsessed with Vanni. He couldn’t really want her… he was just trapped. If he had a choice, certainly he would have chosen Holly. She looked better on his arm. She was ready to do anything to make him happy.
But Andy had forced him to make a choice. Because of her, Holly had been stuck with Julian, and ultimately lost her baby.
It was all because of Andy.
Holly touched her tummy, reminded again that her baby was gone forever. She was truly, truly alone.
For that, Andy Foster would pay.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Los Angeles, California
May 22, 2011
Thanks to the morphine, Holly was able to be reasonably numb to the C-section birth of her stillborn son. After her call to Vanni, to circumvent his finding a nurse and coming back to the apartment that afternoon like he had planned, she stayed in her painful little bubble in the semi-private room paid for by the county, where she planned to stay unconscious as much as possible. But her physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional devastation she felt every time her hand made its subconscious journey to her stomach. Just the day before, it had been a happy habit – to touch and be reassured by the presence of her child. He would be the one person who would love her unconditionally, and never expect more from her than what she could give. He would have honored her and defended her and been there for her like no other man before him. And with any luck at all he would have been so gay she’d never have to share him with another woman.
Historically that had never been a winning proposition for her.
When she was awake, she directed into her hostility toward Andy. Leo, who was the only one who knew where she was and what had happened, was a willing ear to her emotionally charged rants. He wholeheartedly agreed with her. Andy Foster was a cancer on all of them that had to be removed.
And he had an idea of how to make that happen, without it ever coming back to cost them.
After Graham had security cameras installed, Leo was unable to keep gaslighting Andy without bringing consequences back onto himself. He’d already paid a big enough price with his career, he wasn’t about to let that fat whore land him in prison, too.
But his sadistic mind was already in motion to get around that little road block. Unlike Holly, who had been distracted with a pregnancy for the past few months, he had nothing else to think about except how to eliminate Andy Foster. He knew that he would have to handle it delicately, or else he’d blow it all. Vanni wasn’t the same emotional wreck he was when Leo found him in a Philadelphia bar after the incident with Talia. He was drunk off his ass because his soul mate dumped him for the boss man, and Leo recognized immediately he was ripe for the pickin’. Here was this superstar, a virtual golden egg, and he was as pliable as raw dough to do whatever Leo had wanted him to do.
Leo had only been a paid stooge for Baxter up to that point. Here was his ticket to becoming Graham Baxter himself. All he needed was access to Vanni’s money and his mind, and he could get that stupid Guido to branch out on his own, relying heavily on the only “expert” he knew to manage the new label.
He had gotten so close in New York, when Holly managed to convince him she was pregnant the first time. He was such a blithering idiot to believe her, which proved once again he was emotionally ready to be pillaged and plundered.
Unfortunately for all of them, Andy had always been Vanni’s Achilles’ heel. She fucked it up then, and now Vanni was way too happy and way too strong to reach. He was getting married and having a baby with that cow… and had somehow managed to convince Graham to put him on a show destined to be a big hit.
He’d no longer need the likes of Leo – unless he lost everything that was precious to him first. Giovanni Carnevale was a weak pussy of a man. He’d never be able to withstand the loss of his beloved Andy, especially if she took their bastard child with her when she went.
(And Leo had fantasized a great deal how bloody and gory that would ultimately be.)
But Leo knew the carnage couldn’t ever come back to him or to Holly and Julian. He needed a patsy, someone stupid enough to go through with the plan who wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about dying himself in the melee. He had to find someone who was psychotic enough to be both homicidal and suicidal… but stupid and emotional enough to be manipulated.
Thanks to some interview footage, Leo knew he had found the perfect fall guy. Donny Wilke was a psychotic kid with a singular focus, which just so happened fit Leo’s agenda like a glove.
He wanted to make Vanni pay for what had happened to his sister so much, he’d die for the cause in the process. All they needed to do was stoke his rage. They could spin him tight like a top and let him go, hopefully taking Andy Foster with him when he went up in his own ball of flames.
Leo had already started greasing the wheels. He had met Donny a few times, to get into his head and find out what he was thinking. He played the part of a working class guy who had been screwed over by the rich, entitled asshole who thought poor people were his to use as he saw fit, and then easily discarded. It hit the bulls-eye of Donny’s deeper issues. Growing up poor in Florida, he was no stranger to finding alternative means of survival. It started with petty crime when he was just a kid. But when he got caught by some rich store owner, Donny was no longer a petty criminal. He was the victim of something far more sinister. The guy didn’t turn him into the cops like he feared. Instead he started to make demands of his own. He had a specific clientele that would pay anything for a good-looking, desperate kid. It started with photos, and then graduated to video. Eventually the fat cat rich guys couldn’t keep their hands to themselves, and Donny was in no position to say no.
Baylee hadn’t been the only prostitute in the Wilke family.
It had stoked a rage in him that would never truly be quelled. Leo knew this could work out to his advantage, as long as he played the kid carefully.
So he had planted all the seeds about how Vanni had used him, but worse – took advantage of a poor girl who was much like Baylee. She was young, she was poor – she was desperate. When he had seduced her, she made the mistake of falling in love with him, but he had left her for some other social climber who was just as much an elitist as Vanni himself.
He painted Vanni, Andy and Graham as the same kind of thoughtless rich people who had raped and abused Donny most of his adolescence, which nearly had the kid breathing fire.
Now that Holly had miscarried, it would certainly be the last nail in Andy’s coffin.
He brought Donny to see Holly that afternoon. She was out on the morphine, and looked even smaller and more childlike in her sleep. Leo hoped it would remind Donny of Baylee, which – by the look on his face – it probably did.
“You think Carnevale is going to care she lost his baby? He’ll probably be relieved. That’s probably why he forced himself on her last night. He thinks women are his to use, and he doesn’t care what happens to them when he’s done.”
And of course, with what happened to Baylee, Donny latched onto that with a furor. “That motherfucker should die,” he seethed under his breath.
“Dying’s too good for him. Too quick. What you want to do is take something that is far more valuable to him. Make him feel what you feel.” He motioned to Holly. “What she feels.”
Donny nodded. It was the only way.
As they left the hospital, Leo thought to himself maybe this miscarriage was the best thing that could have happened to all of them.
He stopped by to see Julian, who was still out from his bender the night before. Blood was smeared all over the bed, which turned Leo’s stomach. Julian was a loose cannon too. H
e was fairly easy to control when he was high, which is why Leo tried to keep him that way when they’d talk about their future plans. Julian was the only one with his foot in the door of Vanni’s business, especially when Vanni had proven himself ready to walk if Graham hadn’t accepted Julian as part of the band.
So what if he wasn’t “technically” a member? That would come.
The problem with both Julian and Holly is that they had no patience.
Kids, he thought. Stupid, stupid kids.
When Julian woke up he freaked out at the sight of his body, the bedroom and, of course, Holly’s absence. Leo was watching the sports channel in the other room when Julian ran out, fastening his jeans over his dirty body. “Where’s Holly? Is she okay?”
Leo tipped a glass of whiskey. “A little late to be concerned about that, don’t you think?”
Julian rushed Leo and knocked the glass from his hand. “You motherfucker!” he screamed, but Leo easily knocked him back with both girth and experience. Julian ended up sprawled on the floor underneath the towering man.
“Back off, boy,” Leo told him in a deadly growl. “You fuck with me and I’ll knock your dick in the dirt.”
“Where’s Holly?” Julian asked again, although this time quieter.
“Holly’s fine,” Leo informed him. “Baby’s dead, though.”
Julian fell back on the floor and covered his eyes. He had really done it this time.
Leo kicked Julian’s bare foot with the edge of his boot. “No need to cry over spilled milk. Turns out it may be the best thing that could happen.”
Julian sat up. “What do you mean?”
Leo went for another glass. “Let’s just say… I have another plan.”
Holly was still dozing when her cell phone rang that afternoon. She fumbled for it, then sat up a little straighter when she saw that it was Vanni. She answered it in a small voice. “Hi.”
The Complete Groupie Trilogy Page 74
