Pass Protection (Quarterback Sneak Book 3)

by Natalie Brock

  When they finally sat down to dinner, Father Bernard asked Matthew to say grace. It was at that moment she realized Matthew didn’t just attend the church, he was an important member, and the church leadership knew him well. She bowed her head as he said grace.

  “Thank you, Lord, for the bountiful feast you’ve set before us, and for bringing us together to honor you and each other. Thank you for the blessings you have granted me, and especially for bringing Brittany into my life. Bless this food, and bless all of us as we gather together. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  Brittany felt herself blush when Matthew said her name in prayer. She turned her head to look at him. He looked back at her when he finished the prayer and reached for her hand under the table. There was so much she wanted to say, but under the circumstances, all she could do was nod and press her lips together to keep from getting emotional.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  There was one game left before winter break, and Matthew was already dreading being separated from the closest thing to Heaven he’d ever known. He and Brittany were closer than ever, spending almost every waking and sleeping hour together. They were getting along so well, he started telling her they were a super-couple. She seemed to like that idea.

  There was still an elephant in the room though. He had yet to open up to her about his past and what led him to take the purity vow. Deep down, he worried she’d lose respect for him if she knew how careless he’d been, how naive and foolish. When they got back together, he promised he’d be more open, and Brittany gave him the time and space he needed. She seemed happy with the closeness they shared and didn’t push for any more than he offered.

  He watched her lying beside him, breathing softly in her sleep. It was times like this when his desire for her was overwhelming. Sometimes he thought he must be crazy for putting himself in the path of constant temptation. Sleeping together without having sex was torture. But depriving himself of the closeness was worse. At least this way, it felt like they were a normal couple—well, except for one thing. He lightly skimmed her arm with his fingertips and wondered if this was God’s way of testing him. Tonight was one of those nights he thought he might fail the challenge. This was the girl he’d kept at arm’s length because he was sure she could never accept his lifestyle. He’d been so wrong about her. She was kind and loving and honest and thoughtful. She was exactly the kind of woman he needed. She’d been so open with him about everything. He knew they wouldn’t be as emotionally close as they should be until he opened up, too. He needed to tell her the truth, and he needed to do it before the holiday break. Tomorrow they’d be heading for Nashville for the team’s final away-game of the regular season.

  Brittany shot up in bed in a panic. Matthew reached out and ran his fingers up and down the inside of her arm. “What is it, babe? Another nightmare?”

  “We’ll be in Nashville tomorrow night.”

  “I was just thinking the same thing. That’s not a news flash, though.”

  She flopped back on her pillow. “I know, but I guess I was avoiding thinking about it. It’s the last game before winter break. That means I won’t see you for two whole weeks.”

  Matthew laughed and scooped her into his arms. “Yeah, but we’ll talk all the time.”

  “Promise?”

  “Of course.”

  “I wonder what the sleeping arrangements are going to be in Nashville.” They had gotten used to the room switcheroo, but it wasn’t a given.

  “Derek better pay Sofia an early visit,” he said, squeezing her closer. He pressed his lips to hers and between kisses murmured, “I don’t want to be away from you one minute longer than I have to.”

  »»•««

  The charter flight to Nashville the next day was packed with Barracudas players, coaches, cheerleaders, band members, trainers, doctors, the media, and pretty much everyone associated with the game. There were probably two hundred and fifty people aboard.

  From her aisle seat, Brittany craned her neck and looked down the aisle to see if she could catch a glimpse of Matthew in the front rows of the plane. She was trying not to be too obvious. They weren’t hiding their relationship or anything, but they didn’t broadcast it either. Her close friends knew, of course, but she quickly grew tired of the questions from people who pigeonholed Matthew because of his purity vow. How do you get around it, they asked. No way you’re not having sex with him. He’s really gay, right? He’s just using you as a beard.

  So she stopped mentioning it to people she didn’t know really well. She didn’t need to announce it. What she and Matthew had was more important than telling people about it. She also didn’t need the coaches to give them any extra scrutiny, especially since she planned on spending the night with Matthew tonight.

  She normally felt sad the last regular game of the season, but this trip was different. This time, she was looking forward to it because tonight, for the first time, she and Matthew openly discussed sleeping arrangements in advance. He not only wanted her to stay to his room, he expected her to. Frankly, she couldn’t wait.

  »»•««

  After checking into their rooms, Janna took the girls to an eatery around the corner from the hotel for a light supper. The guys, meanwhile, were eating in the hotel’s restaurant. During dinner, Brittany held her phone on her lap under the table and texted Matthew. Whatcha doin?

  A moment later, the answer came back. Thinking about you.

  Never had three little words been so sexy. Brittany pressed her lips together to hide her smile. “You okay?” Janna stood behind Brittany and tapped her shoulder.

  Brittany turned her head. “Um. I’m fine.” She wondered what shade of red her face was. “Why?”

  “Come, let’s talk,” Janna said.

  Brittany pushed her chair out and got up. She slid her phone into her cross-body purse and followed Janna to the front of the restaurant near the hostess stand. The spirit coach motioned to a cushioned bench against the window. Brittany hesitantly took a seat and looked quizzically at Janna. “What’s going on?”

  “That’s what I wanted to ask you. What’s going on?”

  Brittany’s heart started beating harder. She braced herself to be grilled. Janna probably found out about her and Matthew and their away-game sleeping arrangements and she was about to get fined or suspended. “I don’t know what you mean,” she covered, but she was sure the guilty look on her face gave her away.

  “You’ve seemed a little off lately. Distracted. Not quite yourself.”

  Brittany took a deep breath. If she was off, it was because her mind was preoccupied with Matthew. She was totally and completely in love with him and everything else was secondary, even her beloved cheering. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

  Janna looked at her with skepticism. “You sure? I mean, you can tell me anything, you know that.” She lightly touched Brittany’s arm. “I’ve been in your corner from the beginning, and that’s not going to stop now.”

  Brittany knew that Janna was referring to freshman year when she begged the coach to transfer her from the basketball cheer squad to the football squad because she was being harassed. Brittany never fingered any of the guys by name, despite Janna’s urging. “I know, and I appreciate that,” Brittany said sincerely, “but I’m fine. Really and truly.”

  “Well good. I’m glad to hear it.” She tapped Brittany’s arm and said, “There’s something I want to talk to you about.” Brittany raised her brows. “You’re one of the head cheerleaders on the squad so I wanted to tell you first. I’m going to be leaving EFU at the end of the semester.”

  “What?”

  “You know my husband’s in the military. He’s being transferred to the west coast, so we’ll be moving.”

  “No, you can’t.” Brittany felt tears sting her eyes. She knew she sounded like a petulant child, but she couldn’t imagine being on the squad without Janna leading it.

  “I’m going to miss you too, Brit. I’ll miss all the girls. But life happens.�
�

  “Who’s going to take your place? I mean, not that anyone ever could.”

  Janna smiled. “That’s sweet. Not sure who’s going to take over for me. I only told the athletic director a week ago and I haven’t heard anything yet. I’m sure they’ll start interviewing soon.”

  An idea flashed through Brittany’s mind. “Me! How about me?” The skeptical look on Janna’s face told Brittany her mentor thought it was a crazy idea, but that didn’t stop her from pressing. “I can do it, Janna. I know I can. I’m an awesome teacher. I’ve helped coach half the girls on the squad, and some girls who didn’t make the squad. Okay, that’s not good for my résumé, so delete that. But you know I’m a great coach. I even taught the guys some cheers, remember?”

  “Well, yes,” she agreed. “You are great and you have so much potential, honey, but they don’t usually hire students for a full-time job.”

  “They don’t have to pay me. Well, not until I graduate.”

  That got a little laugh out of Janna. “I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask Coach Fairchild and the administrators what the protocol is before I dismiss the idea.”

  Gasping with joy, Brittany hugged Janna. “Thank you!”

  “And here I thought you’d be sad to find out I’m leaving.”

  “Well I am. You know I am. But I can’t pass up an opportunity like this, or even the opportunity for an opportunity, you know?”

  Laughing, Janna said, “If there’s anything I know about you it’s that you’re tenacious. If you want something, you go after it. And you’re often quite persuasive.”

  Brittany smiled and bit her lip. “Thank you, I think.”

  “Let’s not say anything to the other girls yet. I’ll tell them after holiday break. I don’t want anyone feeling anxious about the upcoming change during Christmas.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Before she could slide the key card into the slot, the hotel room door flung open and Matthew pulled her inside. In an instant, his lips were on hers and she was wrapped in his arms about a foot off the ground. When her feet touched the floor, he walked her backward to the bed without breaking the kiss.

  They fell onto the bed together, and little by little inched their way from the foot of the bed toward the headboard. Matthew began to slide his tongue between her lips when he pulled back. He sat up and caught his breath.

  Brittany looked up at him. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing.” He smoothed her cheek with the back of his hand. “Do you know how much you mean to me?”

  Brittany smiled and sat up in bed. “Tell me.” She reached for the back of his ear and ran her index finger over it.

  He surprised her by rolling off the bed. He walked over to the window and looked through the glass, down to the street a few floors below.

  “Matthew, what’s wrong?”

  “I need to tell you something,” he said without looking at her.

  When she saw the tension in his demeanor, her stomach dropped. “You’re scaring me.”

  He quickly turned to face her. “No, it’s nothing like that.” He walked back over and sat next to her, grasping her hands and looking down at them as he spoke. “You asked me something a long time ago, way back in the beginning, probably the first real conversation we ever had, on the bus back from Bradenton. I’ve avoided talking about it long enough.”

  It took her a minute to understand what he was saying. “You mean about the vow. Look, it’s not important anymore. Like I said before, who you are is what matters, not what you are, but I mean, you can’t blame me for being curious, right? Okay, I’m babbling now. I’ll stop.”

  “You’re so amazing,” he said, looking into her eyes. “I want to tell you now. I can’t let the year end without being completely honest and open with you. You deserve the truth.”

  “Okay.”

  “But it’s kind of big. I mean, I never wanted it to define me, but it’s always there—the vow, I mean. I always worried you’d lose respect for me after you hear what happened.”

  Brittany’s lips parted. She never considered the possibility that whatever was behind the vow might be unsavory. She pushed that thought aside. “You don’t have to worry about that, not for a minute.”

  He studied their joined hands before looking at her again. “There was a girl. Michelle. You saw her picture on my phone.” He lifted his eyes toward the ceiling. “She was my high school sweetheart. No, she was way more than that. She was the love of my life. We were so tight. We did everything together, went everywhere together, spent every minute we could together. We were inseparable, you know?”

  Brittany felt a pang of jealousy, knowing there was someone Matthew loved before her.

  “We were in high school,” he continued, “but it didn’t matter that we were young. For me, she was it. My life was planned. We’d get married after college. It was fact, not a wish. Until she told me she was pregnant.”

  She stifled a gasp. This was not what she expected him to say. “Oh. So you’ve had sex. Sorry, I thought the vow meant you were a virgin.”

  “The vow came later. And yes, we had sex. Like every chance we got.”

  “Didn’t you, um, use protection?”

  “Usually, but sometimes we got carried away. Stupid, I know.” He looked away. “So when she missed her, you know, her period, she freaked out. We couldn’t figure out how to get a pregnancy test because we lived in a small town and everyone knew us. Obviously she didn’t want anyone to know about this.” He paused for a minute. “She talked about getting an abortion if the test came back positive, and that’s totally against everything I was raised to believe.” He looked at Brittany again. “But I promised to support her no matter what. I was ready to travel to a state where we could get married without needing our parents’ consent. Then like a week later, she got her period. I’ll never forget how happy she looked when she told me. She was so relieved.”

  “Well, weren’t you?”

  “No. Believe it or not, I was disappointed, like really disappointed. I know that sounds crazy. I mean, I was only seventeen, but the more I thought about having a child, the more I liked the idea. When she found out she wasn’t pregnant we had these really opposite reactions.”

  “Did she know how you felt?”

  He shook his head. “No, not completely. I mean, she could probably see it in my eyes, but I think she was too busy being happy to notice I wasn’t.”

  “I’m sorry,” Brittany said quietly. “Um. I still don’t understand about the vow.”

  “Oh right. Well, I ended up telling my parents about the pregnancy scare.”

  “You told your parents?”

  “They’re really cool people. They always have good advice for me. Anyway, they prayed me with, and the three of us went to speak with my sports chaplain. He introduced me to a group of guys who’d taken a vow of celibacy. He wasn’t telling me that’s what I should do. He just thought it might help to talk to them, because a couple of them went through similar things. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it at first, but after what happened, I thought it might be a good solution. So I suggested it to Michelle and her reaction wasn’t what I expected.”

  “I’m guessing she didn’t agree.”

  “She said I could go ahead and do it if wanted, but she wasn’t taking any vow. That made no sense to me until she said she wanted out. She didn’t want to be tied down to just one guy anymore. It was like the pregnancy scare was an excuse to break up with me. The truth is she didn’t…she didn’t love me the way I loved her.”

  “I’m sorry she hurt you like that. You didn’t deserve it.” She paused before adding, “But you took the vow anyway.”

  “I did. Everything in my life felt like it was out of control and I guess the vow made me feel like I was taking back control.”

  “That makes sense.”

  He looked at Brittany. “Does it?” Brittany nodded and Matthew said, “All I know is the breakup really gutted me. I was a wreck for weeks, mon
ths even. If it wasn’t for my parents and my chaplain and the guys in the group, I don’t know what I would have done. They pulled me through it.”

  Brittany could hear the tears in Matthew’s voice, and her heart absolutely broke for him. She felt tears stinging her own eyes. She placed a hand on his back and he leaned in, resting his head on her shoulder. She leaned her head on top of his.

  “I never told anyone before you—the part about wanting a child. I never told anyone, not even Michelle.”

  “I’m glad you told me. And you can tell me anything. I don’t judge people.”

  Matthew lifted his head off Brittany’s shoulder and looked into her eyes. “I know. You never do. I’ve never known anyone like you before.”

  “Yeah, I bet you’re grateful,” she said sarcastically.

  He slowly shook his head no. “You have no idea how grateful.”

  She cupped his cheek and kissed him softly. “Don’t take this wrong or anything, okay? I’m grateful she gave you up. I mean, she’s an idiot, clearly, but I would never have gotten to know you otherwise.”

  Matthew kissed the inside of her palm. “Thank you, angel. Come here.” He closed his eyes and hugged Brittany tight.

  ∙•∙

  They talked and cried some more until they cried themselves out and fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms under the covers, with their foreheads pressed together.

  The sound of the door flinging open woke them both from a sound sleep. They sat up quickly, blinking at two figures standing in the doorway—Janna and Coach Ryan.

  “So it’s true,” Janna said bitterly. “I was hoping it was just a rumor. Riley, get over here.”

  Brittany’s lips parted. She looked at Matthew, then back at Janna. Getting out from under the covers, she wished she was wearing more than just a sleep tee.

  Janna gripped Brittany’s arm. “You know what happens now, right?”