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Next Year I'll be Perfect

Page 23

by Laura Kilmartin


  “So what's up?” Morgan asked after our meals had been delivered and small talk exhausted. Wrapping his mouth around a greasy bacon burger that made my mouth water, he continued, “You were on top of the world yesterday at the office but today you seem a little down.”

  I gave points to Morgan's powers of perception. “I guess I am. I had a fight with David yesterday and it ended pretty badly.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really. I appreciate it, but I want to talk to you about why I was so happy yesterday. I've been talking to Frank for a few months about the possibility of becoming a partner in the firm. Yesterday he made an official offer. You are looking at the new junior partner at the firm of Murphy and Bennett!”

  I was practically buzzing with anticipation, waiting to see Morgan's reaction, but either he was the most low-key celebrator I'd ever seen, or I had completely overestimated his reaction. Waiting out the silence as long as I could – which, knowing my tolerance wasn't really all that long at all. I deflated over my plate of zucchini fries at Morgan's lack of response. “Great. You think Frank is making a mistake, don't you? You think I can't handle the responsibility and I'm going to be the ruin of his firm.”

  “No! Not at all.” I took Morgan's startled denial as a good sign. While his enthusiasm for my partnership was underwhelming, at least his belief in my talents as an attorney did not seem faked. “I think Frank would be an idiot not to promote you to partner. I'm sorry I'm not as excited as you thought I would be. I guess I just never considered the possibility that you could become my boss.”

  In some dusty back corner of my brain I'd been afraid that Morgan would not be jumping up and down with the news of my new title, but had chosen to ignore the possibility until forced to confront it. “Does that bother you?”

  “Bother me? No.” I searched his eyes and found only the truth. “It does complicate things a bit, though. Like with Frank. I mean, does he even know we're dating?”

  I shook my head and stole an onion ring from Morgan's plate. “Not unless you told him after I left the office yesterday. You saw his reaction when he found out his secretary had a personal life. Frank doesn't believe in personal lives.”

  “What do you think he's going to do when he finds out he promoted you to partner – that you're technically now my boss – and that we've been seeing each other behind his back for the last several weeks?”

  “Frank is going to lose his shit,” I answered. In reality, I'd hoped to wait until I was sure of my relationship with Morgan before we went public with my boss, but now that I was partner at the firm, I knew I owed Frank my complete loyalty. We were going to have to come clean and soon.

  “Yup.” Morgan considered that thought for a moment, then took a large bite out of his burger. His mouth more than half full, he remarked, “Well, then, I guess there's only one thing to be done.”

  I nodded, feeling worse than I had felt the day before if that was possible. If I'd realized earlier that this date with Morgan would be my last, I definitely would have ordered the onion rings. Hoping it wouldn't hurt quite so much if I was the one to say it, I straightened my shoulders, “We have to stop seeing each other.”

  “We do?” His eyes popped open, surprised as they searched mine. “I was going to say that I have to quit.”

  “Quit?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean, I told you before that Frank doesn't take on the kind of cases that really interest me. I want to do criminal defense work and if I'm going to pursue it, now is as good a time as any. I can't work for you and still date you, and I still want to date you.”

  It took me a moment to realize Morgan had stopped talking as I replayed the last few moments of my life. Morgan wanted to keep seeing me. I meant enough to him that he was willing to quit his job.

  Talk about an unexpected turn in the conversation.

  “Sarah.”

  I looked up, startled to find Moran gazing at me intently if not a bit nervously. “Huh?”

  “Just so you know, now might be a good time to say you want to keep dating me, too.”

  No wonder he looked nervous. Morgan's declaration of his feelings had been met with only silence. He actually thought I might reject him. “Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Absolutely, yes. I got a little drifty there for a minute, but I do want to keep seeing you. Definitely.”

  “Okay, then. It's settled. Tomorrow morning I'll go to Frank and give him my notice.”

  Not wanting to jinx the moment, but needing to be sure Morgan understood the consequences of his actions, I asked, “What about your dad? Wasn't he less than thrilled with the idea of you doing criminal defense?”

  His soft laughter at my question was not entirely based on humor. “Yeah. I thought about that, too. The fact is, I don't want to spend my life practicing a certain type of law just because my father finds it more respectable than the law I want to practice.”

  Polishing off his meal with a shrug, Morgan continued. “I'm 28 years old. If I can't stand up to my father about my choice of careers now, I might as well just cut them off, hand them over to Dad now and be done with it.”

  I wasn't sure how to respond to such vivid imagery. “If those are your only two choices, I'd like to put in my vote that quitting is definitely the best one.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Morgan picked up his last onion ring and became quite consumed with using it to paint paths through the ketchup pile remaining on his plate. “So, now that we have that settled, I guess we only have one more thing to discuss.”

  Morgan's tone was serious, and from the nervous way he was playing with his food, I assumed the subject matter would be uncomfortable. I made a brave attempt not to prematurely freak out.

  “Do you remember the conversation we had on our first date? In the car?”

  Did I remember? Was he kidding? I managed a nod.

  “Yeah, well, your timing was lousy, but the topic was a good one and I'm ready to talk about it now.” Morgan sighed and pushed back his plate before raising his eyes to mine. “I'd really like it if you agreed not to see other people.”

  “I don't want to see other people.” I rushed out in a single breath, glad we weren't playing poker, as I had apparently lost any ability to bluff while simultaneously pushing my chips all in. “What about you?”

  “I don't want to date anyone else, either.”

  “Well, then…” I was shockingly at a loss for words, especially when he took my hand and began softly rubbing the inside of my left wrist with his thumb. “I guess that settles that, then?”

  “I guess so. Although,” Morgan chuckled to himself, “I feel kind of sorry for you.”

  “In what way?”

  “Well, I'm dating a hotshot attorney who is partner at her law firm. You're dating a soon-to-be unemployed law student. I totally got the better end of this deal.”

  “I guess it is a lucky thing that you're so pretty, then.” I moved my free hand to cover his. “Never underestimate the power of a little eye candy.”

  “Oh, so I'm eye candy, am I?” Morgan challenged, his grin showing he was in on the joke.

  “Yup.” To prove my point I grabbed the check the waiter had set down moments ago and put down my AmEx as payment. “Of course, if you think you have skills or talents I'm unaware of, I'd be happy to hear you out.”

  “I think I'd like a chance to defend my honor, Miss Bennett. I mean, I'd hate to think you were only after my looks. Perhaps we should take this discussion somewhere more private.”

  I agreed, feeling lighter and happier than I had in months. And just for the record…that night Morgan proved he was more than just a piece of eye candy.

  The next day, we walked together the few blocks from my apartment to the office and caught Frank in his office early to confess our sins.

  As expected, Frank lost his shit.

  Unexpectedly, he was less concerned by the fact Morgan and I were dating than by Morgan's resignation. Oh, the dating bothered him, of course. Frank was angry and
amazed that we'd shown the gall to allow our personal lives to invade his law practice, but after half an hour of huffing and puffing, he finally calmed to the point that he was ready to hear Morgan's big news.

  At that point the ranting began again in earnest. It turned out that what really bothered my new partner was the fact Morgan could possibly be interested in practicing a type of law that Frank didn't personally endorse. Entirely dismissive of our relationship, he focused concern on Morgan's career and future legal prospects, alone.

  I tried not to take it personally.

  I was incredibly proud of Morgan's reaction in the face of Frank's childlike tantrum. He deftly countered each argument and at the end of their heated discussion, while not exactly supportive, Frank at least respected his protégée's decision that it was time to move on.

  As I knew would be the case, and without any basis in logic, Frank blamed me entirely. Luckily, forcing me to bear the burden of the hiring process as we set about replacing Morgan amused Frank to no end and served to fulfill my penance.

  “Just the fact that he came to my party tonight shows that he's started to forgive me.” I remarked to Livvie while ghosting a finger across the screen of my shiny new iPad, the overly extravagant gift from my friend. “As soon as I hire a new intern for him to torture, we'll be back to normal.”

  “Speaking of interns…” Livvie pointed to my apartment door being opened at that very moment by the newest intern at a mid-size Portland law firm that just happened to specialize in criminal defense.

  “Hey there.” As I crossed the room for a quick kiss from my boyfriend, I wondered briefly what the shelf life was on the blissful early stages of love. I hoped it fell somewhere on the continuum near Spam.

  Morgan caught what must have been an odd expression on my face and gave me a bemused grin in return. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Spam,” I admitted, sheepishly. “I'm thinking that Spam has a pretty long shelf life.”

  Livvie and Morgan shared a look undecipherable by me, but one which caused Livvie to rise from her stool and grab at her coat. “And on that note, I'm turning the birthday girl over to her night warden. Day shift is over.”

  Morgan held out Livvie's coat for her. “I'm sorry to see you go, but you should probably get home. Donnie called the diner twice wondering if you'd left yet.”

  “Speaking of Donnie…” I turned to my friend. “Your ex was on his best behavior tonight. He bought me a lovely gift and chatted up Uncle Jeremy for nearly an hour. He didn't even try to look down my blouse. Not once!”

  Livvie ducked her head, grinning slightly. “I know. I really don't know what's come over him. Ever since I told him I'm not interested in a relationship, it's like he turned over a new leaf.”

  “Maybe he's trying to woo you,” Morgan laughed.

  “Maybe,” she agreed. “I don't know what it is, but I know I like it. He's attentive and sweet and generous, but he's still just snarky enough for me to know it's still my Donnie.”

  I was worried for my friend, concerned that her ex-husband was intrigued by Livvie's refusal to commit, and that if she ever ended the chase and allowed Donnie to catch her, he would again move on to other pastures. Even so, I couldn't ignore the fact that the man had been incredibly well-behaved as of late.

  “Tell Donnie thank you again for me.” I hugged my friend at the door and said goodbye. “And don't forget to remind him I will kill him if he hurts you again.”

  “Done,” she replied happily, closing the door behind her.

  “Are you turning in?” Morgan asked, walking toward the bedroom, obviously tired from the post-party clean up.

  “Not yet. Go ahead and I'll be there in a while.”

  “Don't stay up too late, birthday girl.” He kissed the tip of my nose before heading to bed.

  Birthday girl.

  I was a 30 year old birthday girl.

  I sat heavily on the couch, amazed that an entire year had passed since the last time I'd blown out candles. So much had occurred in such a short time. I had a wonderful relationship and was partner in a law firm. Of course, the year hadn't exactly gone smoothly. I mean, I missed David like crazy and although I had accomplished a lot, there were still a number of items I hadn't accomplished from my original list.

  Lightning struck suddenly as I rushed to grab a pen and piece of scrap paper. I was only thirty years old! Everyone knew that thirty was the new twenty. Well, everyone who worked at Cosmopolitan magazine, anyway.

  I needed a new list –a list of things I would accomplish by the time I hit 35. By then, I would certainly be married. If nothing else, I could drag my purple suede dreams out of mothballs and trim down to a size six within five years.

  Excitedly committing my plans to paper, I decided that if my weight loss regime included hiking, I could put Mt. Katahdin back on my list.

  “Sarah?”

  I looked up and saw an adorably sleep-rumpled Morgan stagger out from the bedroom in mid-stretch. “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing.” I lied unconvincingly. Stepping behind the couch to read over my shoulders, Morgan took in the partial list I'd written and sighed deeply. “Okay, Sarah. Put down the pen and back away slowly.”

  “But…”

  “Sarah.”

  “But, Morgan,” I protested weakly as he forcibly removed the pen from my clutches and pulled me away from the living room.

  I hesitated briefly as I considered my options. On the one hand I had a black sharpie marker, crumpled sheet of notebook paper and dreams of thinner thighs.

  Behind door number two was a smart, beautiful, real-live boy trying to lead me to my bedroom.

  Yeah. Pretty much no contest.

  With a wicked smile, I fell into step behind Morgan.

  Besides, I could always finish the list tomorrow.

  The End

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  Table of Contents

  Acknowledgments

  September

  October

  November

  December

  January

  February

  March

  April

  May

  June

  July

  August

  September

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