Dream Catcher

by Iris Gower

  ‘John.’ Melia’s voice was soft. ‘John, what did Binnie mean telling you good luck?’ He shrugged and she continued relentlessly. ‘I know you got a fancy for me, why don’t you ask Daddy for me?’

  John turned to her and took her hands in his. ‘Melia, I like you a lot,’ he said. ‘You are pretty, good-natured, a wife any man would be proud of.’

  ‘But not you,’ she spoke flatly. ‘I thought you were falling for me, John, that’s the impression you gave us all.’

  ‘I think you are charming,’ John said quickly. ‘And I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I just don’t love you enough to marry you.’ He decided that honesty was the best policy, not realizing that sometimes honesty needs to be tempered with tact.

  ‘To tell you the truth, I think I’ve fallen in love with Josephine.’ He avoided her eyes looking out into the darkness. He felt her stiffen.

  ‘You low-down rat!’ Her voice was low, venomous. ‘You led me up the garden path all this time, partnering me at the dancing, treating me like your girl and all the time you wanted Jo.’ She rose to her feet and stared down at him, her face hard.

  ‘If ever I can serve you ill, John Pendennis, I will.’ She walked away, her shoulders set, her hands clasped to her sides crushing the soft cotton of her dress. John sighed heavily. What was he letting himself in for? Perhaps he should just go on home, live his life without complications. But he knew he would do no such thing. The lure of a good life, a pottery of his own to run and prospects of marrying a wife who would one day inherit quite a fortune, was too potent to ignore.

  ‘I can’t do it any more.’ Lily was sitting beside Saul in the dimly lit sitting room of his boarding house. ‘There’s been such a rumpus up at the house what with Mr Mainwaring searching the pantries and cupboards and Mrs Mainwaring summoning the servants to question them.’

  ‘But they didn’t find anything, did they?’ Saul said reasonably. ‘In any case, no-one would tie any of it to you, would they? You work in the pottery, not the house.’

  ‘It’s not that simple. Meggie would blab rather than take the blame.’

  ‘I repeat, nothing was found so Meggie won’t be questioned any more. You worry too much, Lily, my lovely little bride-to-be, do you know that?’

  ‘Oh, Saul.’ She rested her head on his shoulder, her thoughts were confused, her nerve endings on edge. She knew that any moment he would want to take her up to his room. How she hated it, the sweating, the straining, the pain of his body connecting with hers. She shuddered as his hand slid over her shoulder to brush her breast.

  ‘Come on, Lily.’ He bent to whisper in her ear. ‘You are irresistible and I want you.’ He took her hand and she glanced around her as though looking for a means of escape. ‘Come on, none of the old biddies will notice us,’ he said, misinterpreting her reluctance. ‘Anyway, I’ve a little gift for you in my room, something to show how much I appreciate you.’

  She suppressed a sigh as she went with him up the stairs. How she wished Saul’s landlady was as vigilant about visitors as her own was.

  In his room, he took her to the bed and pushed her backwards, his hands on her buttons impatient. She took a deep breath; this was going to be a quick affair, she was learning the signs now.

  She moaned but Saul took it as a sign of her pleasure and thrashed above her, his face red with exertion. She closed her eyes and thought of other things, it was something she was adept at doing now. It was over quickly and, with a sigh of relief, she pulled her skirts into place. She knew that in the morning her pale skin would be bruised and she would ache all over. She sat up and Saul sat beside her. He was holding a box towards her, a smile on his face.

  She opened it and inside, nestling on a velvet cushion, was a small gilt pin fashioned into the shape of a bouquet with coloured stones. ‘Thank you, Saul,’ she said, quietly trying to fight back the tears. He seemed to think he could buy her with cheap trinkets and, in that moment, her sense of resentment was almost overwhelming.

  ‘So you will go on helping me, won’t you?’ he coaxed. She looked into his face, studying his expression carefully.

  ‘Are you trying to kill your father, Saul?’ There it was said, her growing suspicions spoken out loud.

  He laughed. ‘All you need to concern yourself with is the money we will have to start our married life. Come on, it’s time you went home.’

  He walked her to the end of the street where she lodged and then, without a word or a kiss, disappeared into the darkness.

  ‘You’re out late, Lily.’ Watt’s voice startled her and she paused for a moment, wondering what to say. But then why should she worry about Watt Bevan? His opinion of her was worth nothing to her. Since Saul had come into her life, she had avoided Watt like the plague, unwilling to put up with his questions. Now, though she looked round hopefully, there seemed no means of escape.

  He took her arm and drew her towards the lights from the windows. ‘I see you’ve been enjoying yourself, Lily. You could at least have stopped to tidy your hair.’ His voice was hard.

  ‘Mind your own business,’ Lily said. ‘What I do is no concern of yours.’

  ‘You’ve let him have his way with you then?’ His voice was thick. ‘What has Saul Marks got that I haven’t?’ He laughed shortly. ‘I suppose the answer to that is easy enough, it’s money, isn’t it? I never thought you were the sort to sell yourself, Lily. Nothing but a common street whore that’s what you are.’

  ‘I’m not!’ Lily protested. ‘I love Saul and he loves me. See, I’m wearing his ring, we are going to be married.’

  ‘And pigs might fly,’ Watt said. ‘Lily, stop and think, you are being fooled by this man, he will use you and throw you away, is that what you want?’

  ‘Go away and leave me alone!’ Lily pushed him aside and let herself into the lodging house. Quietly, she climbed the stairs to her room and sank down on the bed, the tears falling hot and fast.

  ‘What’s wrong with you, Lil?’ Polly slid into the room with the strange cat-like silence that was characteristic of her.

  ‘Watt Bevan!’ Lily said. ‘He says that Saul is just using me. He’s not, I know he’s not, he loves me.’

  Polly sank down on the bed. ‘Bedding you, that’s all men are interested in,’ she said. ‘You’re a fool if you believe in love. Haven’t I told you often enough that you must use your looks while you got them? Look, just don’t believe all you hear and only half wot you see, right?’

  ‘Don’t you start on me, Polly, I’ve had enough. Saul loves me, he’s going to marry me. I shall be Mrs Saul Marks and then I can cock a snook at all of you.’

  Polly’s mouth fell open. She slid to the edge of the bed to peer more closely into Lily’s face.

  ‘You don’t mean that, do you?’ she asked. Lily looked at her and on an impulse, took Polly into her arms. ‘No, not you, Poll, you are the only one who ever cared about me, apart from Saul that is.’

  ‘So when you’re married, you’ll ask me to your posh house and we’ll have parties and all sorts?’

  Lily slipped into bed and closed her eyes. ‘Of course I will, Poll,’ she said, but she knew she would never invite Polly to visit. Hers would be a respectable household and once she had a wedding ring on her finger, she would call the tune. There would be no more silliness, no more being mauled to slake Saul’s lust. She would be a good wife in every other way, but not that one.

  First, a small voice inside her head told her, she would have to do what Saul wanted and continue, somehow, to add the contents of the strange bottle to Samuel Marks’s food and drink. She was not sure just how she would manage it but she must try for the sake of her future. She closed her eyes and allowed the darkness to draw her into a dreamless sleep.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  ‘LOOK, MAURA, WHAT can I say?’ Watt was struggling to keep his friend’s secret but in the face of Maura’s persistence it was proving difficult.

  ‘You can tell me the truth. Please, Watt, just put me out of my m
isery, will you?’ She looked at him, her long red hair tangled on her shoulders, her eyes bright with weeping. She had seemed like an old woman to Watt but now he realized she was not so much older than he was.

  ‘What good would it do you to know?’ he prevaricated desperately. ‘Could you go to America and confront him, even if you could find him?’

  ‘No.’ Maura looked down at her hands. ‘It’s just that I can’t bear the not-knowing. The gossip, the tittle-tattle, the thought of other people knowing something about my husband that I don’t, is driving me mad. If I know the truth I can face it, come to terms with it. What I can’t face is the uncertainty, the hope that one day Binnie will come back to me.’

  Pity tugged at Watt’s heart. He could see the lines of strain in her face, he could not fail to hear the entreaty in her voice. ‘Look, sit down,’ he said at last. ‘Let’s talk quietly.’

  Maura looked around the kitchen of Pottery House, aware of Cook watching her every move and Meggie hovering ever nearer the corner where she was talking to Watt.

  He caught her glance. ‘I know, it’s not very private. Would you like to come up to my room?’ He spoke tentatively, not wanting her to get the wrong impression.

  ‘All right.’ She sounded relieved. ‘If you’re sure Llinos won’t mind.’

  Watt led her up the back stairs and opened the door of his room wide. It was a large room with a deep window in which was placed a table and two chairs. ‘Please sit down, Maura. Can I get you something to drink?’

  ‘No, thank you. Just talk to me, Watt, please talk to me.’ She clasped her hands together in her lap: small, well-shaped hands with well-kept fingernails. Her position as housekeeper demanded good administration rather than hard physical work.

  He thought of his promise to Binnie, thought of the new wife and three children Binnie now had, and sighed heavily. He would have to tell the truth, he was not clever enough to lie and to keep lying, not in the face of Maura’s despair.

  ‘It’s true,’ he said at last. ‘Binnie is married.’

  ‘How could he do such a thing?’ Maura’s voice was soft. ‘How could he break all the vows he made to me?’

  ‘Look, Maura, he’s happy, his wife adores him, his children think he’s a wonderful hero. Please don’t do anything that would upset the little family, it wouldn’t do any good, not to anyone.’

  Maura hung her head and her thick red hair fell over her face hiding her expression. She was silent for a long time and Watt waited for her reaction to his words. He was not prepared for the pain in her eyes when she at last looked up at him.

  ‘I loved him so much, Watt.’ She sighed heavily. ‘But perhaps it’s time to give up waiting for him. I know that if I chased him I would be hurting innocent people, some other woman would suffer as I’ve suffered. But all I feel now is hate and the desire for revenge.’

  ‘Don’t destroy yourself, Maura,’ Watt said. ‘Hate and revenge are destructive feelings and nothing would ever bring him back here.’

  ‘But, for all that, I’m shackled to Binnie Dundee for the rest of my life. I will never be free of him. Not until I die.’

  ‘Don’t talk like that, Maura,’ Watt said gently. ‘You are still a young, lovely woman.’

  ‘But I’m not a loved woman and to be loved is what every woman wants.’ Maura rose to her feet. ‘Thank you for being truthful, Watt, thank you for being kind. I won’t keep you any longer.’

  ‘Let me walk you home,’ Watt said, rising to his feet. Maura waved him away. She paused in the doorway and looked back at him for a long moment in silence and then she disappeared and he heard her light footsteps running down the stairs.

  Later, when Watt joined Llinos and her family for supper, he felt unable to eat. He was unhappy, restless. He knew that he had hurt Maura even though it was at her own prompting. Love was not a simple emotion, it brought with it pain and tears as much as laughter and happiness. Take his feelings for Lily, he would have given her the earth if she would only belong to him. But she had shunned him and, after all her protestations about being a good girl, she was in Saul Marks’s bed. Life was such a mess.

  ‘You look pale. You’re not going down with a sickness like Samuel, are you, Watt?’ Llinos’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

  He met Llinos’s eyes. She could read him well, she knew he was hiding something. And yet he could hardly tell her the truth, at least not all of it. He sat up straighter in his chair and forced a smile

  ‘Disappointed in love, that’s all,’ he said lightly. ‘I think my best girl has fallen in love with another man.’

  ‘Lily, you mean?’ Llinos asked and there was an edge to her voice that he did not quite understand. ‘She’s going out with Samuel’s son, isn’t she?’

  Watt wondered how she knew that but then there was not much Llinos did not know. He shrugged. ‘That’s about it.’ He looked at Sam, he could hardly say anything about the man’s son. ‘My loss, his gain,’ he said. He put down the pristine napkin and rose to his feet. ‘Please, if you will all excuse me, I think I’ll go for a walk, clear my head a little.’

  ‘Of course,’ Llinos said. ‘And have an early night, Watt, you’ll feel better for a good night’s sleep.’

  Watt left the house and stood in the driveway breathing in the cold evening air. He looked up at the stars, they were brilliant against the darkness, appearing so close to earth that he felt he could reach up and touch them. He shivered, he had better start walking before he caught his death. He thrust his hands into his pockets and strode out along Potters Row.

  It was quiet in the house. Charlotte and Samuel had gone to bed and Watt was still out. Llinos and Joe were sitting alone beside the dying fire in the drawing room. Joe was holding a glass of wine in his hand, turning it round and round so that it caught the light.

  ‘Perhaps we were mistaken,’ Llinos said. ‘Samuel seems much better now, doesn’t he?’

  ‘Well, Llinos, when you spoke to the servants it was as good as a warning to them. Whoever was doing this is biding his time. I expect it will all start again as soon as everything quietens down.’

  Llinos thought of her meeting with the servants: without exception they all denied any knowledge of the medicine. Cook had been particularly vociferous.

  ‘See, Mrs Mainwaring, I am careful in the food I prepare. All the kitchen maid does is see to the vegetables.’

  Llinos sighed and Joe looked up at her. ‘We must be on our guard, Llinos,’ he said. ‘Make sure that no-one comes into the kitchens who has no right to be there. No friends taking tea, no gentlemen callers, no-one.’

  ‘That’s rather a tall order, Joe,’ Llinos said. ‘We can’t make prisoners of the staff, can we?’

  ‘No, but if we make rules they will know we are watching events carefully. It might just deter anyone from taking risks.’

  ‘I can’t help wondering if Sam’s son is behind all this,’ Llinos said. ‘We know he’s seeing Lily, there’s a connection there that I don’t like and don’t trust.’

  ‘If Lily is involved, she would need an accomplice, someone inside the house. Who would be the most likely person?’

  ‘Meggie.’ Llinos spoke without hesitation. Joe nodded his agreement and put down his glass. ‘There’s your answer. What we don’t know is where the medication is coming from. It was taken from here by Dr Jones. In the morning I’ll ride to town and see him. Perhaps the medicine was stolen from him, that might be one reason why there was no case to answer when I went to court.’

  He took her hands in his, drawing her close, his cheek resting against her hair.

  ‘Don’t worry, little Firebird, we will get to the bottom of this and when we do, someone is going to suffer for what they have done to Samuel and to us.’

  In the darkness of the kitchen two women sat huddled over the embers of the huge fire. Lily was frightened; if she was caught inside the house, everyone would know that she was up to no good. She looked at Meggie, trying to see her expression in the gloom and f
ailing. Outside, Saul was waiting; he would be getting impatient, expecting her to have everything settled by now.

  ‘Are you going to do it or not?’ Lily whispered. Meggie slowly shook her head, her eyes downcast.

  ‘I’m afraid I’ll get caught,’ she said. ‘We’ve already been questioned by Llinos Mainwaring and I don’t want to end up in jail, mind.’

  Lily felt anger burn inside her. Meggie was a coward, a weakling. Well weaklings were easy to bully.

  ‘You’ll end up in jail if you don’t do as I say.’ Her sibilant whisper held such venom that Meggie looked up at her in confusion.

  ‘What do you mean?’ she asked, her voice rising.

  Lily caught her arm and squeezed it tightly. ‘Shut up, you fool!’ she hissed. ‘Now, I’ll explain this to you so that you understand. That stuff you’ve added to the food is poison. If you don’t continue to add it to the old man’s food, I’ll be sending little notes around telling everyone what you’ve done.’

  ‘But you’ve done it too, Lily,’ Meggie said. She began to cry, her lips trembling, her eyes brimming. ‘I didn’t know it was poison, you said—’

  ‘Never mind what I said.’ Lily shook the maid. ‘I’ve never been in the house until tonight and I could easily explain that away by saying you sent for me and asked me for help. All the medicine was put in the food and drink when I was working in the pottery. So who do you think would get the blame?’

  ‘But then why would I want to poison anyone?’ Meggie asked rubbing her face with her apron.

  ‘Who knows and what’s more who cares? It was you who pointed the finger at Joe when the captain died, so folk will think you were only covering your own trail then as you are now.’

  Meggie put her hand to her mouth as Lily held the bottle out towards her. ‘Take it, or it will be the worse for you,’ she said. ‘I’m going now; you make sure you do as you’re told, do you understand?’