I shook my head, happy that although Nikky wasn't with Sarah anymore, he was the happiest I had ever seen him.
Even though we were twins, Nikky and I looked nothing alike. He had more of Mom's features, and I had more of Daddy's. While I had brown eyes, Nikky's were hazel. The only thing remotely similar about us was the texture of our hair. That was the thing about mixed families: no two children looked alike.
I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar and a bottle of Sunny D. Nomi was sitting on the kitchen counter, texting on her cell phone.
"Good morning, Pumpkin," Daddy said, walking in after me and kissing me on the head. "You beauties ready for school?"
"Always," I said automatically. "What time do you get off work today?"
He opened the fridge and grabbed a bag of green grapes, handing me a branch to snack on.
"I get off at 7:30 tonight," he said. "New clients, longer hours. You know."
I nodded.
I watched in amusement as my dad breathed a sigh of relief.
"Good to know," he said. "Princess, come here," he gestured to Nomi.
He pulled out his wallet and handed me a fifty-dollar bill, then did the same to Naomi. "My girls." He wrapped his arms around us, pulling us into one of his signature embraces. "You make me proud every day."
I grinned up at him, kissing him on the cheek.
He released us from the hug and I looked up at my sister.
"You ready to go, or are you hitching a ride with someone else today?" I asked.
She hopped off the counter, grabbing her backpack and following me to the door.
"Nope, I'm going with you," she said.
She stood up, and I took in her outfit. She wore a flowery baby doll dress, ecru colored tights, and brown ankle booties to match her brown leather jacket. Her hair was straightened and braided into a fishtail braid on the side of her head. She looked gorgeous, and it was clear that she had gotten her fashion sense from me. If it weren't for the fact that I was being extra careful with how I dressed in order to prevent a cold coming on after what happened on Saturday, I'd have been dressed the same way.
We walked outside, hopping in the car. Nomi crossed her legs, buckling her seatbelt. I followed suit, starting the car and pulling out of the yard.
Nomi had her phone in her hand, furiously texting someone. Her bangs hung loosely in her face, and I was thankful for the fact that she was preoccupied with something, so that she wouldn't be able to question me about where we were going. I already could tell how she felt about Colin, and I didn't want her to get into a spiel about how we never shared our morning commute with anyone.
The drive to Colin's was short and silent, which was how I liked it. I was glad that his family had bought the house next to the lake, because that gave me a reason to spend more time there. Michele, Brody, Nikky, Nomi, and I went up there every day in the summer, swinging from the tire swing and into the cool, clear water. It was summers spent together that brought us all closer as friends and family. We were liberal about whom we allowed to join us during our summers, but we had welcomed Sarah, and after they broke up, Nikky's new girlfriend, Kayla, to share in the fun with us.
I knew that it would be a different story if I decided I wanted to bring Colin there. It had always been that way. The boys had their ridiculous double standards. Brody pretty much had a new girl every week, but apparently, that was perfectly fine. The minute Michele got her boyfriend, Austin, all Hell broke loose. Brody and Michele had a huge fight--during which several names were called, and Michele delivered a slap that I was sure could have been heard across town--and she disappeared until the relationship ended. I tried to chalk it up to the fact that she and Brody were secretly in love with each other. That turned out to be true, since they started dating after Ben Kingston's party. Even so, I knew I'd face the same wrath the minute I thought of bringing Colin, or any guy for that matter, to our spot, whether he lived near it or not.
"Kales, where are we going?" Nomi asked suddenly, as I pulled into the gravel road once more.
I parked next to what appeared to be Mr. Westwick's car, and then I looked up at her, trying to find the right words.
Nomi wasn't receptive to new people because she always felt that anyone new would replace her. She wasn't exactly our age, but she wasn't exactly too much younger than us either. Anyone new was a threat to Naomi, and although I understood why she felt that way, I wished she didn't have to.
"This is Colin's house," I said finally.
I put the car into park and I turned to face my sister. Her eyes had dropped to her lap and she was wringing her hands gently. I took them both in mine and forced her to look at me.
"Nomi, this isn't just a friend of mine," I admitted. "The other night that I was out in the storm, I ended up here. It's where I do my best thinking. Colin came out and talked to me, gave me fresh clothes of his sister's to wear, and gave me shelter for the night." I paused, sighing. "Besides that, I really, really like him. You know I wouldn't share this car ride with anyone but you unless it was someone important. As much as I loved Kyle he never carpooled with us, remember?"
She nodded slowly, looking up at me with tears in her eyes.
"Between Michele and Brody, and Nikky and Kayla, you're all I've got, Nickayla," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to let someone new in. I don't want someone else to share you with. You're my only sister, and really one of my best friends. I don't want to have to open up and share you with anyone else."
I closed my eyes.
I hadn't expected my sister to react the way that she had, and most of all, I hadn't expected her to get emotional over it.
"I could just ask him to drive himself," I said, "if it's that important to you. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
She looked up at me, her eyes hopeful, her brows furrowed into a tight line. She bit her lip nervously, looking down at her hands. We remained in silence for a few minutes, then she cleared her throat quietly.
"Nickayla?" she asked.
"Yeah, Nomi?" I asked getting ready to put the car in drive.
She sighed, closing her eyes tightly.
"Do you really like him?" she inquired.
It was my turn to close my eyes. I felt things for Colin that were unexplainable. I couldn't even put the way I felt about him into words. I knew that I wanted to know him better, wanted to get closer to him, wanted to trust him and have him trust me in return.
"I really do," I admitted softly.
She reached for the key in the ignition and pulled it out, holding it in her hand.
"Go get him, then," she said. "I'll give him a chance."
I took a deep breath as I walked through the open doors of our school. Colin's hand squeezed mine tightly as we weaved our way through the seemingly endless stream of students. I examined the piece of paper that he had given me with all of his locker information.
"Fabulous," I muttered, annoyed. "You have locker number 364."
Colin eyed me suspiciously.
"Okay?" he asked.
"You have the lower locker, first of all," I said, "which means that I have to teach you the Valley-PHASS lower locker trick. And secondly, my best friend, Michele's locker is number 361. This means you get to meet her charming boyfriend Brody."
He grinned, dragging me along faster.
"Great!" he exclaimed. "So I can meet your friends."
That's not necessarily a good thing, I thought.
Of course, I wanted Colin to meet my friends, but I had hoped that it would happen much later than two days after I'd initially met him. It wasn't so much Michele or even my brothers that I was worried about--it was Brody.
Brody Durham had been my best friend since Kindergarten, and he was protective to say the least. He grilled every single guy who showed even a smidgen of interest in me. It was quite annoying to be honest. I just wished that he would trust my judgment when it came to guys--even if it had proven to be questionable at best
in the past.
We stopped abruptly in front of Colin's locker, and I immediately squatted down in front of it. I looked up at Colin and gestured for him to get down as well.
"Okay, so you know how with most locker combinations, you're supposed to start at zero?" I asked, waiting for him to nod in acknowledgment. When he did, I continued. "Well, with lower lockers, you're supposed to start at two. Don't ask why. That's just the way it's always been. So, you start from two, then put in your combination. Before attempting to open it, you have to turn it back to two, then bang it twice and open it."
He cocked his head to the side, eyeing me as though I were trying to play a prank on him.
"Are you serious?" he asked. "That is so stupid!"
I nodded solemnly.
Of course it was stupid. It had always been stupid. According to "legend", when PHASS first started, the lower lockers were easy to open, and people always got their stuff stolen. After the very first year of countless lower locker heists, they fixed them so that only lower locker people knew how to open them and correctly. The best--and worst--part was that if you were a lower locker person during your first year at PHASS, you stayed a lower locker person for the rest of your high school career.
"Well, who the Hell is this?" a voice roared behind me.
I looked up to see Brody, all sandy brown hair and blue eyes, a visible shadow of scruff lining his mouth. Usually he met me with a smile, but his lips pressed into a thin line.
I stood up, falling back into Colin's arms. I put my hand behind my back, waiting for his to find it and comfort me.
Michele came up behind Brody, smacking him on the back of the head and extending her hand for Colin to shake. She flashed her award-winning smile at him and turned around to put in her locker combo.
"Please don't mind my boyfriend," she said. "I'm Michele, and doofus here is my boyfriend, Brody. We're very pleased to meet you. Any friend of Nic's is a friend of ours, right babe?"
Brody continued his intense examination of Colin. I almost expected Colin to be intimidated, but he was standing his ground almost as successfully as Brody was. He held my hand tightly, pulling me against him and resting his hand lightly on my lower abdomen.
"Right, babe?" Michele asked again, through gritted teeth, nudging Brody.
"Yeah," he said begrudgingly. "Right. But they look to be a little more than friends."
I closed my eyes.
This was what I had wanted to avoid. I didn't want to have to face him with another guy without talking to him about it first, especially after he kicked Kyle's ass without actually knowing what he was kicking his ass for. All he knew was that something happened at Ben's party, Kyle and I were no longer on speaking terms, and I was totally fucked up because of it, and in Brody's terms, that was more than enough.
"Brody, shut up or so help me God I am telling your dad you got stoned last month at a college party," Michele said. "What's your name?"
Colin stepped forward, extending his hand to her this time.
"Colin Westwick," he said. "I'm a transfer student from Raleigh, North Carolina. I was really born here, but we moved there when my grandfather got sick. We're just moving back, three years later."
Brody rolled his eyes, leaning against the locker with an exasperated expression.
I knew that I couldn't get irritated with him. Brody was like my older brother, and he looked out for me when Nikky and Nathan weren't able to. All my life, he had done nothing but try to protect me from getting hurt. When Joseph Abrams pushed me off the swing set back in the seventh grade and I broke an arm, not only did Brody rush to my aid and have Michie escort me to the nurse's office to wait for medics, but he also got a two week suspension for kicking Joseph Abrams' ass. Whenever Nikky and I had a fight in front of him, he always came to my aid first and Nikky's second. When a guy wanted to take a second look at me, Brody was the first to interrogate the guy and make sure he was even sane enough to be in my presence.
It was both a blessing and a curse to have a friend like Brody Durham. It was a blessing because I knew that he would protect me as best as he could at all costs, but it was a curse because I knew that I'd have to get his approval for every guy I dated, and most times that was far from possible.
"What made you decide to come to PHASS?" Brody asked as his eyebrows rose. "You know it stands for Preparatory Academy for Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences, right? What part are you here for?"
I groaned. This could go on forever if I let it. I decided to give Brody the satisfaction of finding out what he needed to about Colin, but only as far as I was willing to let it go. If he crossed a line, I knew where and when to stop him.
"I'm here for the Social Science part," Colin said, honestly. "My grandfather was Alexander Westwick, and when he passed, he left me and my sister a great deal of money. She wants to go into the medical field to learn about advancements for final-stage cancer, and I am going into the field of psychology to help the families of those diagnosed seek psychological treatment. I want to open my own practice someday, for both children and family services." He paused, looking down at his feet. "Seeing a psychologist was what ultimately helped me through losing the greatest man I've ever known."
I was stunned into silence.
Colin was more amazing than I thought. His dreams were inspiring, and the reasoning behind them made me want to throw everything I'd said the night before out the window and kiss him right then and there.
"That's so sweet, Colin," I said, smiling at him. "I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather, though. I can tell you love him."
He smiled at me softly, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. I could tell that his grandfather's death was still affecting him more than he let on.
He reached up to caress my face, and then he dropped his hand, reaching for mine again. The way that he held it, it made me feel like I was his lifeline, the way he'd been acting as mine for the past two days.
"He's with me every day," he said gently. "I wish he were here though. He would have adored you, Nickayla."
I blushed. I adored hearing him talk so highly of his grandfather. It made me feel just a little bit closer to him, and that was something that I really had yearned for.
I could tell that Brody was about to jump in and ask another question, but we were cut off by the sound of the warning bell, which meant that we only had five minutes to make it to our first class or we'd get caught in a tardy sweep.
I hugged Colin, handing him his schedule. I knew we had at least four of our 6 classes together, and that was good enough for me. I was just sad to leave him so soon after he'd gotten into a touchy subject on his first day at school. I had to remind myself to kill Brody for that later.
"I hope you get everything settled before first period starts," I said. "I have first with Michie, but I'll see you in second for AP English?"
He nodded, kissing me on the forehead. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of him. He grazed my back softly, intimately, quickly, giving me something to look forward to when I saw him again.
"See you then, pretty girl," he said, smiling.
Walking out of class, Michele struggled to keep up with me in her Jeffrey Campbell heels. She was shorter than I was, and just as curvy as I was, but her ultimate downfall was that she needed to wear heels with damn near every outfit.
"So wait, you got lost in the storm—and while we’re on the subject, you shouldn't have been driving out in that storm in the first place. Then you go to the lake to clear your head and it turns out Colin lives in the lake house?" she asked bewildered and out of breath. "It's fucking fate, Nickayla! That's the place we have spent every summer at for as long as I can remember and you run into Hottie McHottie at the same fucking place! It's too perfect!"
I sighed, walking over to my locker to grab my copy of The Great Gatsby and my AP English journal out of it before heading to class.
"I wouldn't say it was fate, per se, but I'd definitely say that my luck turned around that night," I
mused. "Colin's great."
She smiled, leaning against my locker and twiddling her thumbs. She crossed her legs in front of her, something that she did when she was thinking about something.
I took the moment to admire my best friend. Michele Alexandra Taggaro was a cute little blonde with brown eyes and a button nose. The fact that she didn't look like a Victoria's Secret model was what actually made her one in the eyes of most of the guys at Valley. She had only had one boyfriend before Brody, and she'd definitely gotten many offers, but I knew the reason that she held out was because she was secretly waiting for Brody to come to his senses.
"That's amazing," Michie said, smiling at me. "So have you...you know?"
I stopped short, my jaw dropped. I closed my locker and leaned against it, intrigued by what exactly it was that she was asking me.
"Have I what?" I asked.
Michele rolled her eyes then pushed herself off the locker, waving her hands. She was a hand-talker, which normally annoyed me, but I was genuinely interested in what she was about to say.
"Have you had sex with Colin?" she asked. "I mean, it's fate, Nic. You run into this guy in a storm--a storm, Nickayla! Everyone knows storms are when all the magic happens! And you spent all weekend with him, then show up to school with him touching you like he's the only one who knows the ins and outs of your body. There's got to be something there."
Oh, Hell no. She did not just imply that I slept with someone I'd only known for two days. Did I even seem like that kind of girl? If only she knew the implications of what she'd said, she'd want to punch herself in the mouth for even thinking it. If only she knew that the only person I'd slept with was against my will. If only she knew that I hadn't even thought of having sex with anyone, and I wasn't going to be thinking about it any time soon.
I was beyond furious, and worse, I was hurt. She had no idea what she was saying, and yes, maybe that was my fault. However, that didn't give her the right to make hasty assumptions about what I did or didn't do with someone.
Losing Me Page 5
