Dear Evan Hansen
Page 10
EVAN: Why are you so obsessed with this? I mean, you didn’t even know him.
ALANA: Because it’s important.
EVAN: Because you were lab partners? Or because, I don’t know, maybe because you want another extracurricular for your college applications?
ALANA: Because I know what it’s like to feel invisible. Just like Connor. To feel invisible and alone and like nobody would even notice if you vanished into thin air. I bet you used to know what that felt like, too.
(As Alana goes, Jared enters.)
EVAN (To Jared): We need more emails. Emails showing that he was getting worse.
(Jared scoffs.)
This isn’t funny.
JARED: Oh I think it’s hilarious. I think everyone would probably think it’s hilarious.
EVAN: What is that supposed to mean?
JARED: It means, you should remember who your friends are.
EVAN: I thought the only reason you even talk to me is because of your car insurance.
JARED: So?
EVAN: So maybe the only reason you talk to me, Jared, is because you don’t have any other friends.
JARED: I could tell everyone everything.
EVAN: Go ahead. Do it. Tell everyone how you helped write emails pretending to be a kid who killed himself.
JARED (Like a helpless, heartbroken little kid): Fuck you, Evan. Asshole.
(He turns and goes.
Evan stands there, assaulted from all directions, unable to escape.)
ALANA:
Does it cross your mind to be slightly sorry?
Do you even care that you might be wrong?
Was it fun?
Well I hope you had a blast
While you dragged me along
JARED:
And you say what you need to say
And you play who you need to play
And if somebody’s in your way
Crush them and leave them behind
JARED/ALANA:
Well, I guess if I’m not of use
Go ahead, you can cut me loose
Go ahead now, I won’t mind
HEIDI:
I’ll shut my mouth and I’ll let you go
Is that good for you?
Would that be good for you, you, you?
ALANA/HEIDI:
I’ll just sit back while you run the show
Is that good for you?
Would that be good for you, you, you?
ALANA/HEIDI/JARED:
EVAN:
I’ll shut my mouth
All I need is some time
And I’ll let you go
To think
Is that good for you?
But the boat
Would that be
Is about to sink
Good for you, you, you?
Can’t erase
What I wrote in ink
Tell me how can I change
The story?
I’ll just sit back
All the words that I
While you run the show
Can’t take back
Is that good for you?
Like a train comin’
Good for you?
Off the track
As the rails and the bolts
All crack
I gotta find a way to
Stop it stop it
Just let me out
So you got what you always wanted
So you got your dream come true
EVAN/ALANA/JARED/HEIDI:
Good for you
Good for you you
You got a taste of a life so perfect
Now you say that you’re someone new
Good for you
Good for you
Good for you
Good for you
ALANA/JARED/HEIDI:
So you got what you always
wanted
EIGHT
Evan, alone.
EVAN: I’m not doing this. I’m done.
CONNOR: You can’t just stop now.
(And Connor is there.)
EVAN: I don’t think I can live with this anymore.
CONNOR: What about my parents?
EVAN: No more emails.
CONNOR: How can you do this to them?
EVAN: No more Connor Project. No more orchard.
CONNOR: After everything they’ve done for you? They need you.
EVAN: Need me for what? To keep lying to them?
CONNOR: That lie is the only thing that’s keeping them together.
EVAN: That’s not true.
CONNOR: Oh really? They seemed like a pretty happy family when you met them?
EVAN: I don’t want to lie anymore.
CONNOR: And what about Zoe?
EVAN: Zoe said, she just . . . she wants me.
CONNOR: Right.
EVAN: She likes me for who I am.
CONNOR: Except you didn’t happen to mention that everything you’ve told her, it’s all been one big fucking lie, did you?
(Evan says nothing.)
Oh. You left that part out.
EVAN: So then, what if . . . what if I did tell her the truth?
CONNOR: She’ll hate you.
EVAN: Maybe she would understand. Maybe everyone would understand.
CONNOR: Everyone will hate you.
EVAN: Not if I can just, if I can explain it, you know?
CONNOR: You’ll go right back to where you started. No friends.
EVAN: I want to be done / with this.
CONNOR: / Nobody. Nothing. Alone.
EVAN: I’m ready to be done with it.
CONNOR: If you really believe that, then why are you standing here, talking to yourself? Again?
(Pause.)
You think you’re going to turn around all of a sudden and start telling everyone the truth? You can’t even tell yourself the truth.
EVAN: What are you talking about?
CONNOR: How did you break your arm?
(A pall comes over Evan.)
How did you break your arm, Evan?
EVAN: I fell.
CONNOR: Really? Is that what happened?
EVAN (Less and less confident): I was, I lost my grip and I . . . I fell.
CONNOR: Did you fall? Or did you let go?
(Silence.)
You can get rid of me whenever you want. You can get rid of all of it. The Connor Project. The orchard. But then all that you’re going to be left with is . . . you.
FOR FOREVER (REPRISE)
CONNOR:
End of May or early June
This picture-perfect afternoon we share
Drive the winding country road
Grab a scoop at “À La Mode”
And then we’re there . . .
Think about it.
(Evan stands there for a moment, lost.
He makes a decision.
Lights shift and Evan and Alana are in their bedrooms, online. Connor is gone.)
EVAN: I’ve been a bad co-president. I know that. And I’m sorry. But I’m, you were right, you were absolutely right, and I’m back and I’m re-dedicating myself to doing everything I can do to make this work.
ALANA: Too late. I’ve moved on.
EVAN: You’ve “moved on”?
ALANA: You’ve made it abundantly clear to me that you’re not very interested in being a part of The Connor Project.
EVAN: I can make more videos. I can write more stuff for the blog.
ALANA: I can do all of that myself.
EVAN: It’s not the same. You know it’s not the same. People want to hear what I have to say. I was his best friend.
ALANA: You know, frankly, Evan? I’m starting to wonder if that’s even true.
(Evan freezes.
He tries laughing it off.)
EVAN: What does that mean?
ALANA: You keep saying you were best friends. You’re like a broken freaking record about it. But nobody ever saw you together. Nobody knew that you were friends.
&nbs
p; EVAN: It was a secret. He didn’t want us to talk at / school.
ALANA: / I know the story, Evan. We all know the story. We’ve all heard it a bazillion times.
EVAN: You’ve seen the emails.
ALANA: Do you know how easy it is to create a fake email account? Backdate emails? Because I do.
(Evan begins to feel desperate.)
You know what? I don’t have time for this. I have to raise seventeen thousand dollars.
EVAN: I can prove it.
ALANA: How?
(Long pause.)
EVAN: Here.
(Evan sends Alana an email.
Alana opens it.
Her eyes widen.
The letter.)
If we weren’t friends, then why did he write his suicide note to me?
ALANA: Oh my God.
EVAN: Do you believe me now?
ALANA (Reading): “Dear Evan Hansen:”
EVAN: Nobody else has seen this.
ALANA: “It turns out, this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year.”
EVAN: You can’t show it to anyone, okay? Nobody else needs to see it.
ALANA: This is exactly what people need to see. We need something to create new interest.
EVAN: Can you just please delete it now?
ALANA: Don’t you care about building the orchard? This is the best way to make Connor’s dream come true.
EVAN: No, it isn’t.
(And the letter is suddenly everywhere, Evan’s words filling the screens.
Alana turns away from Evan, speaking now to the world.)
ALANA: Dear Connor Project Community:
(The blood drains from Evan’s face, as he realizes what’s happened.)
EVAN: You put it online.
(Alana continues to speak to the online community, ignoring Evan entirely.)
ALANA: Connor’s note is a message to all of us. Share it with as many people as you can. Post it everywhere.
EVAN (Begging): You need to take it down. Please.
ALANA: If you’ve ever felt alone like Connor, then please consider making a donation to The Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard. No amount is too small.
(Voices from the virtual world begin to pile up on top of each other, stacking and accumulating, accreting.
Unlike before, the Voices do not fuse—they congeal.
This is not a community, but a hydra-headed herd-thing, primal and ravenous and cruel.)
VOICES:
Have people seen this?
Connor Murphy’s suicide note
This is the actual, authentic
Forward
The whole world needs to see this.
Share it with everyone you know
This is why the orchard is so important, guys
I just gave fifty dollars for the orchard and I think everyone else should give as much as they can
Re-post
His parents present themselves
He wrote his suicide note to Evan Hansen, because he knew his family didn’t give a shit
His parents, by the way, are insanely rich
YOU WILL BE FOUND (REPRISE)
VOICES:
A/J/VIRTUAL VOICES:
Forward
Oh
Share
Like
Maybe they should have spent their money on helping their son instead of
Oh
Please re-tweet
Evan Hansen was the only one who was paying any attention
Oh
Favorite
Share
Forward
Oh
(Elsewhere, Zoe appears, reading her own screen, horrified.)
VOICES:
“Like all my hope is pinned on Zoe”
A/J/VV:
Zoe’s a stuck-up bitch, I go to school with her, trust me
Oh
Share
VV:
Oh
Forward
Someone will
Larry Murphy is a corporate
Come runnin’
lawyer who only cares about
Oh
Cynthia Murphy is one of
Oh
these disgusting women
Oh
ZOE: Mom? You need to see this.
Oh
Someone will
Come runnin’
(Cynthia enters.)
A:
J:
VOICES:
Oh
A hundred and sixty more dollars and the orchard will be fully funded
Oh
Fuck the Murphys
A/J:
Make them feel what
You are not alone
Connor felt
I love you guys
Oh my God, we are two hundred dollars over our goal
Their house is at the end of the
A/VV/J:
cul-de-sac with the red door
You are not alone
(Cynthia reads over Zoe’s shoulder.)
Zoe’s bedroom window is on the right
The gate to the back is completely unlocked
CYNTHIA: How did they . . .?
(Larry enters.)
A/VV:
J/VV:
VOICES:
Zoe’s cell phone number,
if my sources are correct
You are not
alone
You are not
I gave twenty
alone
You are not
alone
You are not
alone
CYNTHIA: It’s everywhere.
VOICES:
A/J/VV:
I’m not saying to do
anything illegal
You are not
All hours, day and night
A thousand
Ring the doorbell
You are not alone
Keep calling until they answer.
NINE
Lights snap up on the Murphys’ living room.
Larry stares at his cell phone.
Zoe sits, looking at the laptop.
Cynthia paces behind her.
Evan stands, nauseous.
CYNTHIA: Where did they get Connor’s note?
LARRY: I don’t know.
EVAN: I tried to call Alana, but she’s / not answering.
CYNTHIA (To Larry): / Some of these are adults. Do you see their pictures? These are adults.
(A cell phone rings.
Zoe reaches for it.)
LARRY: Maybe let it ring, Zoe.
ZOE (Into phone): Hello?
(Beat.
Her face remains impassive.)
LARRY: Who is it? Who is it, / Zoe?
ZOE (Into phone): / Have fun with your miserable life. Bye.
(Zoe hangs up.)
LARRY: What’s the number?
ZOE: It’s blocked. Who cares?
CYNTHIA: What did they say to you?
ZOE: It doesn’t matter.
LARRY: Did they threaten you?
ZOE: It doesn’t matter, Dad.
CYNTHIA: I’m calling the police. That’s it.
(Cynthia digs through her purse for her cell phone.)
LARRY: Right now, maybe the best thing to do is to just wait and see if this blows over.
CYNTHIA: That’s always your solution, isn’t it? Do nothing.
LARRY: Is that what I said?
ZOE: Can you guys just stop?
CYNTHIA: Wait and see. Let’s wait and see, right, Larry?
LARRY: What are the police going to do? It’s the internet. They’re going to arrest the internet?
CYNTHIA: I had to beg you, every step / of the way.
LARRY: / Okay. Hold on.
EVAN (Quietly): I really think they’re going to stop . . .
CYNTHIA: I had to plead with you. For therapy, rehab . . .
LARRY: You went lurching from one miracle cure to the next.
CYNTHIA (Laughs): “
Miracle cure.” / Really. Is that what you call it?
LARRY: / Because all he needed was another twenty-thousand-dollar weekend yoga retreat.
EVAN: Maybe I should try calling Alana again . . .