The Poison Rose: A King Arthur Tale
Page 11
Once they emerged from the forest, the plains before them were green and vibrant. Arthur rode quickly past Camelot, not wanting the city to in any way detain or distract from his mission. However, as he was riding he could have sworn he saw a figure that looked like nothing other than Alice herself. Arthur stopped Llamrai temporarily, urging her to move north towards Camelot. But he quickly figured this must have been a fiction—seeing his little girl frolicking in the grass of the plains—because once he reached the top of the hill where he could see Camelot he saw nobody. The hills seemed completely empty. Plus, he figured that Alice was still within Camelot’s protective walls.
Llamrai rode fast and hard the entire day, through forest, bog, and plain until, around sunset, they arrived once again at Merlin’s humble abode. Arthur knew that it was a long ride, but it would be more than worth it to be able to see and hear from his old friend again. He hoped that Merlin would perhaps be able to knock some sense into him because he needed it now more than ever.
He stopped in front of Merlin’s hut, tied Llamrai up to a tree, and again approached the hut, walking cautiously along the stones that looked like lily pads.
Arthur’s knock came with suddenness and he heard a rustling sound behind the door. “Oh, yes, coming!” declared the old chipper voice. Merlin opened the door, surprised to see Arthur so soon. “Oh my Arthur, you have returned…well, good…come in, please come in. I was just working on my next sculpture here in the front room…I am sure you must have noticed the sculpture of your beloved Guinevere is now complete and standing just outside the moat. It took some doing to get it out there, but I managed.” Merlin pointed outside to the statue.
Arthur shook his head. “No, I am sorry Merlin. I must have other things on my mind right now.”
“Other things than Guinevere?” said Merlin suspiciously. “Well I see that things are direr than I anticipated. Come in and get something to eat…I am afraid now I very little left…about time to get some more mushrooms…” Merlin returned to his kitchen, grabbed a few plates, and threw them on the table. Arthur smiled and sat down, although he really didn’t care about food right now.
“That will be fine,” replied Arthur. “You don’t need to prepare anything.”
“Nothing? But you must be starving after your long journey!”
“It’s alright, the woman gave me some food to take and eat on the way, so I am fine for now,” said Arthur.
Merlin looked disappointed. “Well, of course she did.”
“What does that mean?”
“Oh, nothing,” said Merlin as he walked away, back towards the fire, throwing a few more small logs into it. “I suppose that her food is sanitary.”
“More than sanitary,” replied Arthur. “It tastes quite wonderful.”
“So does anything that comes from a witch.” Merlin suddenly sounded more tense and uneasy.
“She has a name! Did you know?” replied Arthur snidely.
“I never wanted to know,” said Merlin. “But tell me, now that you do know, what does she ‘say’ her name is?”
“Dani, from the Danites,” said Arthur. “She told me a story, a story of how she was rescued by another woman. It was a horrific story, but a story that nonetheless filled my heart with sorrow, sorrow for her to have endured such a terrible event. Her real name eludes her, but she calls herself Dani because she is one of the few left from that group of travelers. Tell me Merlin, what do you know of this group of travelers?”
Merlin looked around, trying to find any excuse to stay busy. “I am going to grab some mushrooms…you look like you would like some mushrooms.” Merlin got up from the table, took some of the freshly picked mushrooms from a bowl and put them on a plate in front of Arthur.
“Merlin I must know.”
Merlin looked sad. He moved away from the table. For several moments he stared deep into the fire. “I knew the Danites. I was not always a recluse and once had great power and responsibility in this kingdom. It was my responsibility at the time to make sure that the Danites were not a threat to the kingdom. I felt that they were. They kept wandering from city to city like peasants and all of them were women. I thought it odd and suspicious, like a perfect place for a witch to hide. So I sent some men to go find this group of traveling women and bring them back to Camelot to face judgment, to better ascertain who they were, and, if there was a witch among them, to find that witch. But things didn’t go as planned. The men that I sent were brutal and, once they found the Danites, they demanded that they go to Camelot. When the Danites refused, my own men, my trusted men, took these women and some they killed, others they tortured, and still others they left alive to suffer and die in the wilderness. It was an awful thing and something that I didn’t anticipate. That event no doubt was a perfect time and place for the old witch to there find another witch to take over should something happen to her. You see Arthur, both men and women are, at least in part, evil. Men make just as many mistakes as women, if not more, but you should know that it is never right for one person’s woe and misery to be passed on to the entire world. Witches want more than to merely correct injustice—they want revenge and when I say revenge, I mean total revenge. A witch will not be satisfied until she is ruling the world, or in other words, has made the world the way she wants it to be.”
“But what if you are wrong?” asked Arthur. Merlin looked surprised by these words.
“Wrong about what?”
“About witches,” replied Arthur. “Are all witches bad? What if a witch were to be changed? Would that be possible? Would it be possible for a witch to be good?”
“Bah!” exclaimed Merlin. “This is a deep question and a question that I am afraid I cannot answer. I only know of tales that involve evil witches, but, of course, these tales were written by men and men do have a way of tainting the truth. So I suppose that it is possible, however unlikely, that no man has actually gotten to know a witch well enough and survived to write down the tale. Perhaps there is some good in a witch, but that good is often consumed with evil…but tell me Arthur, what brings you back all the way out here? There is some reason you have come to me and it is not to know about the history of witches. You have come for some deeper purpose. You fear to return to Camelot because the deed has not been accomplished, but yet for some reason you fear staying there in the witch’s palace. Tell me, are you beginning to feel for this woman?”
Arthur didn’t know what to say. He knew that the answer to this question was, of course, a resounding yes. He was beginning to have feelings for her, feelings that he knew emerged from the deepest part of his heart and soul. But if he told this to Merlin he didn’t know how he would react or what he would do. Merlin certainly had told him terrible things about witches before and to admit to him that he had begun to fall in love with one would be like telling a knight that he took his sword. He was sure that it would not end well.
But Merlin was not a man that was easily fooled and Arthur knew this. After several moments of silence Merlin spoke again: “It is natural for you to fall for this woman.”
“Why? Because she is beautiful?”
“No,” replied Merlin, slightly astonished. “Physical beauty can only go so deep. Physical beauty may begin the true love process, but it can never complete it. No, instead, you have fallen for this woman because of something deeper. Your soul has seen something in her soul that you like, and it is this bond that links you together, a bond of the soul. You have found in her a delight, a peace, a joy. But even the soul can lie, for in this lie I fear you will fall and when you fall your life will never be the same. You will be adrift, looking for answers where there are none, searching the skies for help when none will come, and, above all, you will be attempting to follow your heart when it leads you to only pain, lies, and suffering. Know that there is no sin in love, but in who we love.”
“So what do you suggest I do?”
“Before I advised that you go this witch and gain knowledge,” said Merlin. “This would a
llow you to better understand how to defeat her. But now, now that you have fallen for her such an act would be too dangerous. In short, it would be too dangerous to be near her. Now I suggest you find a backdoor. You may have defeated the greatest of armies on your horse in ancient days and brought justice and peace to your kingdom, but this is a force that you alone cannot contend with. It was a force created by the wickedness of men to defeat men once and for all. It is just a continuation of the old tale of Adam and Eve—showing that no matter what happens a man is connected to the woman. After all, after Eve partook of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, Adam would have needed to either remain in the Garden of Eden alone because Eve needed to be cast out, or would have to partake of the fruit and be cast out with her. So, you my friend must make a similar choice. You can choose, like me, to be alone, or to be with the woman and be in a fallen, corrupted state just like all her other victims.”
“You told me that no man can defeat her, although perhaps a woman can,” said Arthur. “But her magic seems so great that I cannot imagine anyone powerful enough to defeat her. Is there a ‘backdoor’, or a secret way to defeating a witch, or am I just doomed to lose this battle?” Arthur watched as Merlin went back towards the fire and placed a few more logs onto it. He waited patiently for a response, but Merlin was still silent. Arthur sounded frustrated. He had never before met anything that he could not defeat.
Merlin moved away from the fire and disappeared from his sight for a moment, returning with an old packet that contained a few very old, crinkled sheets of paper. He then carefully put them on the table in front of Arthur. “There may be one way, but I have never heard of any man being able to do it. In reading of ancient legends, there is a manuscript that writes of a transformation of the witch—that is, if the tempting magic of the woman fails and she gets angry she may transform into a horrifying evil, but an evil that nonetheless can be defeated.”
“How?”
“I do not know because there is no man alive who has gotten to that point and there are only a few scraps of parchment that tell of the transformation…these are a few of them that I was able to gather long ago.” Arthur peeked over at the manuscripts. They were thick, much thicker than any of the parchment Arthur had in his castle. Some of them were stained and torn. They were written in some language that Arthur was not familiar with, but Merlin seemed like he was able to read it without a problem. “Look, all you need to know is that this transformation will make her a much more vicious and evil—it will transform the evil inside of her into an outside force, as she will appear and fight terribly. There is one good thing about this transformation. Once her evil is revealed then it can be defeated. If you can make her angry enough she will sacrifice beauty and invincibility for the opportunity to kill you. It is a change in a witch I call catharsis, for you see Arthur, all witches naturally win by not fighting at all, but if needed they can be the attackers. But that is what you want. You want to make her the attacker.”
“But how do I do that?” asked Arthur.
“I do not know,” said Merlin. “You know this woman better than I do. You may know or come to know what she hates most and this will stir her to anger. This will cause the transformation. But it is simply not worth it Arthur. I have known you for many long years and each year that passes does so with great misery for me because I do not have that love—the love that you have for Guinevere and she felt for you. So do not be so quick to discard your love for her and replace it with love for this woman Dani, who you have only known for a day.”
“But I think that I can change her…I can find some good in her and bring her back thus ending the reign of the witches forever.”
“This is the mindset of those who fail against this woman,” said Merlin in a deep, distressing tone of voice. “I don’t tell this speech to many people, but I will now tell you everything I know about love, the deepest magic. Then I will let you decide what to do with this woman. You see, I think you have been lonely of late and this loneliness has spurred your heart to great feeling again. I think there is a reason why we humans were not meant to be or live alone.”
“Why?”
“The reason is deep. It goes beyond physical attraction. I think deep down we need each other simply because we need another person to see how amazing we really are—for by himself a man or a woman will not think of themselves as great. And for some time a man can get joy just from his mere love for another person, his enthrallment with that woman and how amazing she is to him. The same goes true for a woman. A woman may get joy just from the chance that this man may love her in return. This is a great feeling in of itself. But there is a magical feeling, a feeling that we like to call true love, a feeling that defies all earthly description and is written about by any writer who has a heart—and that is the magical feeling you have when you discover that the person you see as amazing thinks of you as just as amazing. Indeed, this feeling is like looking into a mirror within a mirror of your soul; it is a feeling that goes into the eternities as far as our mind or soul can attempt to reach. This is the feeling we all strive to feel, an eternal feeling of bliss and satisfaction. This feeling is a powerful feeling, a feeling apart from the carnal and the sensual, but most dignified and elevated to a feeling of Godhood.”
“Is this what I am feeling?”
“Perhaps,” said Merlin. “This is a difficult question, a question that no doubt has plagued philosophers for centuries. Am I in love or not? You see, he who is in love is captured in the chains of desire and wishes to capture someone else in desire as well. Don’t get me wrong Arthur. True love is not evil, for love can have many benefits. Love causes a rough and uncouth man to be distinguished for his handsomeness; it can endow a man even of the humblest birth with nobility of character. It blesses the proud with humility and the man in love becomes accustomed to performing many services gracefully. Love makes a man feel weak, but it is a good weakness. Oh what a wonderful thing is love, which makes a man shine with so many virtues and teaches everyone, no matter who he is, so many good traits of character! And indeed there are more benefits to love. Love adorns a man, so to speak, with the virtue of chastity because he who shines with the light of true love can hardly think of embracing another woman, even a beautiful one, when his true love is apart from him.”
Merlin smiled. “Why you may ask? Because when he thinks deeply of his beloved the sight of any other woman seems to his mind rough and rude. All men and women in the history of the world have been awakened by the sound of love. You see, love is like a sound because it dies as soon as it is born in us. We hear it only as it begins to fade. But we love so powerfully because we try to grasp this love at its birth so that we don’t lose any of its intoxicating feeling. We say to ourselves that we have found love, but yet we have not really explored it to its fullness. We come to find that true love is not seeing things as perfect, but imperfect—not as seeing things in their perfection, but in their imperfection. Anyone can love someone who is perfect, or who they deem as perfect, but it takes a true man to love a woman in her imperfections. Dani may seem to be the perfect woman to you, but you must be wary. This woman seems perfect to you because of one of two things: she seems perfect to you either because she is perfect, which we know is not the case for a witch, or because your love for her has made her seem perfect.”
“Are you saying my feelings are clouding my judgment?” asked Arthur.
“Not just yours, but so many in your kingdom have fallen for her,” said Merlin. “Love is a universal of human existence. People in all times and places have attempted to define love, a feeling and truth that seems to have penetrated the human mind and heart, soaking it with an insatiable thunder; our minds then naturally attempt to grapple this feeling or force in order to understand it. But the fact of the matter is that love cannot ever really be defined, nor can it be reasoned or negotiated with. It comes from so deep within our souls that no spiritual magnifying glass can ever be powerful enough to find it
. Many people try to find and capture this powerful feeling, but they cannot. Instead, they are left feeling disappointed. And so will you if you continue this quest to find and understand love. All you can do is accept it and live with it.”
“I don’t know if I believe in love anymore,” replied Arthur, his mind turning to Guinevere.
“Don’t you understand Arthur? You already gave your stamp of approval for love! Your daughter is a living witness of the truth that love works and as long as love works so will all men continue to live in this world. The greatest secret that I have learned in this life, and in my humble opinion that is saying a lot, is that this world is founded on love and once love fails so too does this world. Why? Because love surrounds the purpose of mankind more than anyone ever anticipates or contemplates. We as humans live to love without even knowing it. As children we love to hear tales of handsome princes rescuing fair damsels and falling in love. We love ‘love,’ even when we don’t understand why. Then, when we grow up we experience these feelings and thus live in love, with one person or another. Then, in our old age, when the time of our powerful love is over, we live to remember and look back on the fruits of our love—our dear children who are to follow the same path that we did.”
Merlin sighed, pondering this subject deeply. “All life, my dear Arthur, surrounds the magical idea of love. Let me tell you the magic of creation as a witness to this truth. Life can only come into the world through the attraction of a man and a woman, but this of course was meant to be. Through the process of love we each stamp our approval on the idea that life can and should come into the world through love between a man and woman. In part, we inherit the desire of love from our posterity, but ultimately the decision is ours. We feel inclinations towards love, but we can choose whether or not we accept these inclinations. In short, we can choose whether to put our stamp of approval on the ultimate system of mankind—life being founded on love. We stamp our approval on this system because we believe it works, which is why I told you before that love is a belief. The question then becomes, where did this begin? Who was the first one to approve of this system of love? In the ancient texts it describes a land apart from this one, a land to the west where love first began. The texts describe a man and a woman who lived long ago but did not feel love. They lived peacefully in a garden for a long period of time as immortal beings until they had to make a choice, and it wasn’t just any choice, but an eternal choice. They could choose to simply live in the garden forever knowing no love, or, as the deep laws of the universe required, they could sacrifice their immortality in order to bring love and life into the world. In the end, of course, they chose to bring love, and in turn life, into the world. They knew by doing this they would die. They also knew that not all love would be pure—that both good and evil, or corrupted love would come into the world. But, as I propose, they made that choice because of one reason.”