Case of the Muffin Murders

by Jeffrey M. Poole

  “You can thank Sherlock and Watson for that,” Jillian explained. “Those two were barking so loud that Taylor and I knew something was wrong. In fact, the moment we both opened the door to look outside, we could see the dogs sprinting for the house. As soon as they saw us, they each turned around and sprinted back in the opposite direction. We figured they were leading us to you.”

  “In my defense, the ground was soft. It was one of the areas where I had done some digging with my tractor.”

  “And if you hadn’t,” a male, gruff voice suddenly added, “then you’d be more than likely looking at a lot more severe injuries than just a concussion.”

  An elderly man with a neatly trimmed white beard was standing a few feet behind Jillian and Vance. My first impression of the guy was a slimmed down Santa Claus, wearing a white doctor’s coat. His hands were clasped behind his back and he had what I thought was a bored expression on his face.

  “Mr. Anderson, my name is Doctor Eastburn. It’s good to see you awake. How are you feeling?”

  “I’ve got one mother of a headache, but other than that, I’m okay. That’ll teach me to race around in the dark without being able to see where I’m going. Wait. Vance? What happened to that kid? Don’t tell me he got away!”

  Doctor Eastburn held up a hand, signaling he wanted everyone in the room to be quiet. Vance and Jillian fell silent, since neither wanted to be evicted from the room. Smiling at their compliance, the doctor turned back to me and resumed his interrogation.

  “There’s no tingling in your fingertips? No soreness to your back?”

  “Oh, I’ll be feeling this tomorrow,” I assured the doctor. “That’s what Advil is for, right? But, for the time being, I’m okay. You’re right. That could’ve been a lot worse.”

  “Indeed, Mr. Anderson. I have a few questions for you. First, have you experienced any bouts of confusion?”

  I heard Vance snort once, which earned him dark looks from both the doctor and from Jillian.

  “No, not really.”

  “Think back to when you fell to the ground,” Doctor Eastburn continued. “Do you remember when it happened?”

  I nodded, “Sure. It was kinda hard to forget. I was chasing that damn kid when I stubbed my toe on something, and down I went. I remember thinking at the time that this wasn’t gonna end well.”

  Doctor Eastburn nodded, pleased, “Excellent. What about dizziness? Are you seeing any stars in your peripheral vision? Can you hear any ringing in your ears? What about nausea?”

  I shook my head, which only caused my headache to pound a little harder. Jillian noticed my wince of pain and cringed. The doctor noticed, too, and laid a sympathetic hand on my shoulder.

  “Your headache will pass, given time. I can write you a prescription for the pain, but I would advise you, instead, to just take two aspirins…”

  “…and call you in the morning?” I finished for him, with a chuckle.

  Doctor Eastburn smiled fleetingly, “Yes. Something like that. If the pain becomes unbearable, then I expect you to notify me immediately and I’ll write you a prescription for something stronger.”

  “Am I allowed to leave?” I hopefully asked.

  “I’ll authorize the nurses to release you from the hospital, but I would like to see you rest for the next week or so. Is that understood?”

  I mentally crossed two fingers and nodded. I will be able to relax once that damn kid is caught. I just have to remember where I saw him. As the doctor started going over what I would and would not be allowed to do, I wracked my brain as I tried to remember where I had seen the little punk before. He was skinny, had brown hair, and had a darker complexion, so he must have some… And, just like that, I remembered the kid ringing me up for a large glass of soda.

  It was Alex, the teenager from Wired Coffee & Café.

  I anxiously looked up at Vance, who, detecting movement, turned to look down at me in my hospital bed. He caught the excited look on my face and his eyebrows shot up. The detective nudged Jillian, whispered something in her ear, and then straightened.

  As soon as the doctor left the room, I was throwing back the covers on the bed, eager to get going. However, much to my dismay, I discovered I was pantless. Horrified, I flung the covers back across my body and scanned the room.

  “Your pants are over there,” Jillian helpfully pointed out.

  “And how, pray tell, did my pants come off? I didn’t hit the ground that hard, thank you very much.”

  “It’s standard procedure when being admitted to the hospital,” Vance explained, between snorts of laughter.

  Jillian excused herself from the room while I dressed.

  “So, spill, buddy,” Vance told me, as I pulled on my pants and buckled my belt. “I can see it in your eyes. You know who we’re looking for, don’t you?”

  I nodded, “It’s Alex, the kid from the coffee shop. He knows I saw his face. Whatever we’re gonna do, we’d better do it fast, ‘cause I’m willing to bet he’s gonna clear out of town.” I dropped my voice and beckoned Vance closer. “Hey, I gotta ask you something, seeing how Jillian’s not in the room. It’s about the gun you lent me. I hate to say it, but I had it with me when I fell.”

  Vance was shaking his head, “No, you didn’t. I figured you dropped it during the chase. Sherlock found it and alerted one of the deputies.”

  I cringed. Why did I have a feeling that I just got Vance into a whole lot of trouble?

  “I’m sorry, pal. I have no business carrying a gun, that’s for sure.”

  “Tell me about it,” Vance agreed. “The good news is the gun was returned to me.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief, “Good.”

  “The bad news is, if it ever becomes known that I loaned a gun to a civilian again, then the captain will personally suspend me for two weeks, without pay.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Vance pulled out his phone and started tapping numbers on the display. “Extenuating circumstances.”

  While Vance registered an APB with the police department, I shakily got to my feet. My head throbbed, but other than that, I felt fine.

  “That’s right, Captain. We… Zack? Are you okay? You’re pale as a sheet and look like a newborn giraffe taking its first few steps.”

  “I’m okay. And bite me. Come on. We’ve got work to do.”

  “What’s that, Captain? No. Zack took a nasty fall chasing after our perp. That’s right… exactly. I’m headed there right now.”

  “Headed where?” I asked, once Vance finished his call. I followed him out into the hall. “Wired Coffee & Café? Are they even still open at this hour?”

  Vance gave me a disquieting look, which Jillian mirrored, as she joined us outside my room.

  “What? What’d I say? Why are you two looking at me like that?”

  We made it to the front entrance of the hospital, where the dual glass sliding entry doors opened with a soft whoosh. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked up at the sky with what I could only imagine was a less than intelligent look on my face. I hooked a thumb at the bright blue sky and turned to the others.

  “Tell me something. Exactly how long was I out? The last thing I remember, it was past ten at night.”

  Vance checked his watch, “Well, you’re still right. It is just past ten o’clock.”

  “Zachary, why do you think the doctor agreed to let you leave?” Jillian asked, as she took my hand. “You hit the ground very hard. You’ve been unconscious for hours. In that time, they’ve taken cat scans and even gave you an MRI. Potential head trauma is no joking matter.”

  “Just tell me it’s the following day,” I groaned. “It’s not like Tuesday of next week, is it?”

  My girlfriend giggled, “No, it’s the following morning. Late morning, mind you, but it is the next day. I, er, hope you don’t mind, but I did speak for you and authorized some medical tests. I was just so worried, Zachary.”

  I smiled at Jillian and nodded. Just then, I thought of something
that made me frown.

  “That means Alex has over a twelve hour head start on us. Whoa, wait a minute. Jillian! Where’s Taylor? Is she okay?”

  “She’s at my house at the moment,” Jillian answered, “taking care of Sherlock and Watson.”

  “She’s by herself?” I asked, shocked. “We need to make sure she’s…”

  Jillian put a finger on my lips to get my attention.

  “She’s okay. Vance has a unit parked in front of the house as a deterrent, and a second unit watching the back. She’s well protected.”

  “I’ll second that,” Vance chimed in. “Come on. The coffee shop isn’t far from here.”

  “Do you really think we’re gonna find this kid there?” I argued. “Trust me. He’s long gone.”

  Vance shrugged, “Perhaps. However, Daryl should have his home address on file. He should be able to tell us where he lives.”

  “Good thinking.”

  “Why don’t you call Taylor and have her meet us at the coffee shop?” Vance said to Jillian.

  “What for?” Jillian wanted to know.

  “In case we can’t find our new friend. If Alex is missing, but still in town, then we could use some help finding him. You and I both know how good Sherlock and Watson are at finding needles in haystacks.”

  Jillian pulled out her phone to make the call.

  “Are you okay with that?” Vance whispered, as Jillian relayed Vance’s instructions.

  My headache was threating to turn into a migraine, so I kept the head nodding to a bare minimum.

  “It’s fine. I want to find that little punk, too. If we have to call for canine backup, then so be it.”

  “She’ll meet us just outside the coffee shop,” Jillian informed us. “She’s on her way there now. She texted that both dogs somehow knew they were leaving, as both were waiting by the door.”

  “Smart little boogers,” I observed.

  “You don’t need me for anything else,” Jillian commented. “I think I’ll go home and wait to hear from you, Zachary.”

  Jillian pulled me into an embrace and held the hug for a few moments longer than necessary.

  “I’m so very glad to see you’re okay,” she whispered in my ear.

  “That makes two of us. I’ll call you when all of this is over.”

  “Please do.”

  Jillian gave me a tender kiss and then headed towards her car.

  “You’re a lucky man, Zack,” Vance commented, as we both watched Jillian drive away. “I know quite a few people who have gone after her the past couple of years. You and she are a good match.”

  “Thanks, buddy.”

  Less than ten minutes later, we were pulling up to Wired Coffee & Café. The little shop was packed full of people. I was instructed to stay put while my detective friend hurried inside the store. Just in case the kid was there, I suppose. I had just rolled the window down in Vance’s sedan when I noticed Taylor’s white Mini-Cooper pull up beside us. There, plastered to the back seat windows, were Sherlock and Watson, who – at the moment – only had eyes for me.

  “Zack!” Taylor exclaimed, as she exited her car. She leaned forward to rest her elbows on the windowsill. “How are you feeling? Jillian told me you had a minor concussion?”

  “I’ve got a headache, but I’m doing okay. To tell you the truth, I could really go for a soda.”

  “You drink too much of that stuff,” Taylor accused, as she transferred the dogs from the back seat of her car to the one I was riding in.

  The corgis, bless their little hearts, were so happy to see me that they tried their damnedest to jump over the seat to reach me. Unfortunately for them, and thankfully for me, their legs were too short to make the jump. Taylor reached through the window to pat each of them on their heads.

  “I hope they weren’t too much trouble,” I told Taylor as I reached behind me to pet the dogs. Sherlock covered my hand with doggie kisses and Watson contented herself to rub her head on my arm.

  “They sure missed you,” Taylor observed. “Look at them. I’d say they were worried about you. I was, too.”

  I felt my cheeks flame up. Great. The last thing I needed right now was for another female to make a fuss over me.

  Vance came barreling out of the coffee shop. He slid behind the wheel and buckled his seat belt into place, all with only one hand. The other hand, naturally, was holding his phone to his ear. Apparently he was filling in someone – presumably the captain – on what he had learned inside.

  “Right. I’m on my way there now. Yes, I have Zack here. The dogs? As a matter of fact, yes, they’re here, too. I’ll let you know. Yes. Yes. Bye. Okay, Zack. Are you ready to…? Taylor? I’m sorry, we have to go.”

  Taylor leaned back, smiled at us, and waved us off.

  “Where’s he live?” I asked, as we sped down Main Street.

  “He’s in an apartment complex on the north side of town. By the way, Daryl said Alex was a no-show today.”

  “Not surprising,” I mused. I pressed my fingertips to my temples, which were starting to throb like whenever I tried to have a soda-free day.

  “How’s your head?” Vance asked, as he threw me a concerned look.

  “It hurts, but I’ll live. The Advil hasn’t kicked in yet.”

  Vance reached into a pocket and then tossed two biscuits over the seat to the dogs.

  “Sorry I can’t hand these to you in person, guys. It’s the best I can do.”

  I heard both dogs crunching through their treats, so I knew they weren’t complaining. A scant four minutes later, we pulled up in front of a collection of four brick buildings. Three were identical in size, structure, and coloring. The smaller one identified itself as the main office/recreational center. A pool was situated in the middle of the complex.

  I gazed at the buildings and shook my head. There was something familiar about this place. I was pretty sure I had been here before.

  “He’s in building two, bottom floor, unit 3,” Vance told me, breaking into a run.

  I carefully set both dogs onto the ground. Once I had their leashes wrapped securely around my hand, the three of us headed towards Alex’s apartment as fast as my throbbing head would allow. Detecting the urgency of the situation, the dogs tugged at their leashes in an effort to get me to increase my pace.

  “We’re too late,” Vance said to me as I arrived in the doorway to the tiny apartment. “He’s bugged out. Damn it!”

  Alex’s former residence looked as though a tornado had gone through it, right after it had been hit by a Category 5 hurricane. Broken glass, broken picture frames, upended furniture, and empty drawers sticking out of cabinets met our eyes. I whistled with amazement. Did Alex do this? Or, perhaps more disturbingly, was someone else looking for the skinny kid and was angry that he wasn’t here?

  “Look at this place,” I breathed.

  “Looks like someone set off a nuclear bomb in here,” Vance agreed. He walked over to a shoddy-looking desk with a closed laptop sitting on the surface. Both of us could see the glint of the metal spike that had been driven through the hard drive.

  “Nothing like seeing a computer with a nail sticking out of it to arouse suspicion,” I decided.

  Vance nodded, “You think? Maybe we can still get something off of it.”

  “So, what are the odds that our friend Alex left a forwarding address with the apartment manager?” I hopefully asked.

  Vance turned to regard me with a piteous look, “Really? Look at this place. This guy left in a hurry. Do you really think he’d stop on his way out of town to let his landlord know where to forward his mail?”

  I jammed my hands in my pockets and frowned, “Yeah, probably not. Well, what do we do now?”

  “The only thing we can do: call in the lab boys and let them process this place. I’m sorry, Zack. I’m gonna be tied up here for a while. Do you think you could get Jillian to come get you?”

  I nodded, “Sure. Just let me know if you find anything, okay?”
/>   “Will do, pal.”

  Once the dogs were loaded into the back of Jillian’s SUV, and we were on our way back to my house, I breathed a sigh of relief. This ordeal was over. Alex had to be long gone by now. There was no way he’d be stupid enough to stick around town when everyone under the sun was out gunning for him.

  The traffic light at Main and D Street brought Jillian to a stop. I heard Sherlock jingle his collar, which caused me to twist around to check on them. What I saw made me cringe. Doggie nose prints were now all over Jillian’s tinted backseat windows. A thin layer of dog hair was now coating her immaculate SUV’s leather seats. That’s just great. Now I was going to have to get Jillian’s car detailed, inside and out.

  “I’m sorry about the mess back there,” I remarked, once the car was under way again. “I’ll get it cleaned up for you.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Jillian told me. “I will never get upset at an animal for being, well, an animal. Especially your dogs. Speaking of which, what’s Sherlock doing?”

  I glanced back to see Sherlock sitting with his nose high in the air, as though he was recalling the time I had driven past a dairy on a warm summer day. His ears were straight up and, after a few moments, he rose to his feet. Watson watched her packmate for a few moments before deciding whatever Sherlock was doing was good enough for her, so she copied him. Sherlock inched forward and nosed a coffee cup that was sitting in Jillian’s console between the two front seats.

  “Careful, pal,” I cautioned. “There’s coffee in there. If you make a mess, then I’m gonna get seriously pissed.”

  Sherlock nudged the cup again, threatening to dislodge it from its holder. I hastily grabbed the paper cup to hold it in place. I fired off a stern look at the tri-colored corgi and waggled a finger at him.

  “Would you knock it off? This is not even our car. There’ll be no making any messes in here, thank you very much.”

  Jillian laid a hand over mine.

  “It’s okay, Zachary. Is he all right? Why is Sherlock acting like that?”