Case of the Muffin Murders

by Jeffrey M. Poole

I took the bag and started to open it, “What’s in it?”

  “A bag of treats for the dogs. They solved the case before we did, so everyone chipped in to get them some goodies from Fur, Fins, & Feathers.”

  Remembering the nature of the nasty, smelly animal-based chews and treats, I immediately stopped messing with the bag and, instead, tightly rolled the blasted thing back up. The bag was dropped – unceremoniously – on the floor and was kicked over to the side of my chair. I wrinkled my nose in disgust as I thought about what could be in the bag. Was it my imagination, or was there a putrid stench already emanating from that bag?

  I groaned aloud, “That’s just swell. What do I have to look forward to? What’s in there?”

  Vance shrugged, “Cow hooves, pig ears, and a few other things that the owner recommended.”

  I hastily placed the bag on the ground.

  “You mean Justin Roesh helped pick this stuff out? Oh, this keeps getting better and better.”

  Justin was the owner of the aforementioned pet store. He also knew, much to my dismay, how much Sherlock and Watson enjoyed a certain treat which grossed the hell out of me. What do you want to bet several of those blasted things were in that bag?

  “There are also several pizzles in there,” Vance grinned, correctly reading my mind. “I seem to recall the good shop owner mentioning the dogs’ favorite chewies were pizzles.”

  “Dude, that’s nasty,” Harry quipped. Then his face cracked a smile as he looked at me. “But, strange and eclectic tastes seem to run rampant through your household, don’t they? You like frog legs, and Sherlock likes…”

  “Don’t say it,” I grumbled. A thought occurred and I pointed a finger at my friend from high school. “Don’t forget, I know way more about you than you do about me, remember?”

  Harry immediately sobered and dropped the subject.

  Julie suddenly leaned forward to place a hand on my arm to get my attention, “Zack? Can I ask you a favor?”

  “Oh, dear God, tell her no,” Harry pleaded.

  I bit my lip, “If I can. What can I do for you, Julie?”

  “Promise me you’ll write a book about all the exploits you and my husband had while in high school.”

  Harry let out a nervous chuckle, “Now, dear, that wouldn’t be worth reading, would it? No, we won’t bother our good friend with such trivial matters, not when he has so many other important projects to complete first.”

  “No one can shut him up like you can,” Julie told me, with a wink. “I’d like to learn some of that magic.”

  Just then, we all heard the clinking of someone tapping on their wine glass. It was Jillian, and she had her glass raised in a toast. Within moments, everyone was holding a glass up in the air.

  “Here’s to another case that PV’s most intrepid canine duo have solved. Good job, Sherlock and Watson!”

  “Here, here,” I echoed, clinking my glass on Jillian’s, and then Taylor’s.

  “I cannot believe how smart those dogs are,” Harry was saying, yet again. “Had I known that, then maybe I could’ve charged more for him.”

  “Do all those pictures you took make sense now?” Jillian was asking. She looked up to see Tori and Julie looking questionably at her. “Zack started taking pictures of everything the dogs stopped to look at, figuring they’d somehow be important to the case. So, were they?”

  I nodded affirmatively, “Yep, even down to the last detail. Those dogs are amazing.”

  “What did you take pictures of?” Taylor wanted to know. “Besides my baking cups, that is.”

  “Those were first,” I recalled. “Sherlock had a grand time pulling them out of the trash and then having me chase him through the house. Then, at the first house, he went out into the backyard and found that syringe.”

  “Who in their right mind would bury a syringe in a stranger’s backyard?” Jillian wanted to know.

  “We figure it was just an after-thought,” Vance said. “By this time, Alex – or Emily – had already injected the peanut oil…”

  “Extract,” Taylor and Jillian corrected.

  “…into that muffin. She hasn’t admitted it, but somehow Emily must’ve known about the third victim’s peanut allergy.”

  Taylor suddenly gasped and clutched my arm, “Of course! Paul was in the shop last week. He and I were talking about our favorite cookies. I had mentioned peanut butter chocolate chip was one of my favorites…”

  “Mine, too,” Jillian added, when Taylor hesitated to take a breath.

  “…and he jokingly said to make sure he is never given one. Emily was there! She must’ve overheard us!”

  “And those bushes in the backyard?” Jillian prompted. “You told me Sherlock checked out some plants before he found the syringe?”

  I pulled out my cell and brought up the picture of the dark green bushes Sherlock had looked at prior to digging up that syringe.

  “Turns out these shrubs are wild,” I began, as I gave my girlfriend a smile. “And, these particular bushes produce a berry. Any guesses as to which one?”

  Jillian snapped her fingers, “That’s where I’ve seen them. Those are salal berry bushes!”

  I nodded, “That’s right. I should’ve known.”

  “Should’ve known what, buddy?” Vance asked.

  “Whenever we’re working a case,” I slowly explained, “and the dogs stop to check on something, it is somehow related to the case, only I have no idea how.”

  Vance was nodding, “Okay. What does that have to do with the pictures?”

  “I took pictures of every damn thing on this case. Everything, man. I was confident I’d be able to put everything together and figure this out before the dogs did. But could I? Nope. To me, they were just pictures, until I started looking closer.”

  “Zachary, do you remember when we stopped to have that picnic on your property?”

  “Oooo, how romantic!” Taylor exclaimed, as she beamed her smile of approval to her friend.

  I nodded, and winked at Taylor, “Yes.”

  Jillian took up my hand in hers. “Do you remember when Sherlock came over to you and sniffed your chest? Like you had spilled some food on it?”

  I nodded, “Yeah, I do. Sherlock enjoys food. I figured that’s all it was.”

  Jillian shook her head no, “Well, I found out from Arthur that the cobbler you enjoyed so much? Well, he used salal berries in it, too. Didn’t you tell me that was what spilled on your shirt? The cobbler?”

  My eyes widened in shock, “I’ll be damned. You’re telling me the only reason he sniffed my shirt like that was because of the salal berry cobbler thingamajig I spilled?”

  Jillian smiled at me, “What do you think?”

  I sighed as I sat back in my chair, “I think they’re both way smarter than me. But, I will say for the record, at least I know why Sherlock barked at Wired Coffee & Café. That’s where Alex worked.”

  “And all the times he stopped to sniff the bushes,” Jillian added. “He was trying to get you to pay attention to those salal berries.”

  The waitress arrived, along with an army of backup. Our entrees were all wheeled in on not one, nor two, or even three, but four shining silver carts. Additional servers appeared, and topped off everyone’s glass. Then some dishes were removed, along with some silverware, while yet other dishes were added to the already congested table. Don’t ask me why.

  As soon as everyone had their entrees placed before them, and glasses had been refilled, we tore into dinner. As for me, I gingerly poked and prodded first before anything was placed in my mouth. What was the saying? First time, shame on them. The second? Shame on me.

  “I forgot to tell you, buddy,” Vance began, as we all dug into our entrees. “We got something yesterday that I’m sure will be of interest to you. I should have told you the moment I got it, but we had our hands full. Between you and me, I’m tired of all the damn press conferences. How many times do we have to say the same thing over and over? ‘Yes, ma’am. The kil
ler has been caught.’ Give me a break.”

  “No problem,” I nonchalantly stated, as I cut into a ravioli. I knew I wouldn’t like what I found, but I did need to see that the contents weren’t green. And that is a story I won’t get into details about now, ‘cause if I do, I’m sure to make myself sick.

  “Really? You’re not curious about a certain case file you’ve been waiting on from Phoenix?”

  Chatter around the table came to an immediate stop. I suddenly found that my mouth was bone dry. I drained my glass of water before I found I could speak again.

  “You got the file? It’s about damn time. Hoo, boy. Okay, let’s hear it. What did you find?”

  “Unfortunately, nothing much, I’m afraid. It’s a fairly open and shut case. Er, did you want to talk about this now?”

  I look around the table to see six anxious sets of eyes staring at me.

  I slowly nodded, “It’s okay. I’m more comfortable with you people than with anyone else. If you give me some earth-shattering news, I think I would appreciate the moral support.”

  “You have mine regardless,” Jillian informed me, as she placed her hand on mine on the table.

  “And mine,” Taylor added, placing her hand on Jillian’s.

  “And ours,” Julie told us. Harry nodded in agreement.

  “We’re here for you, too,” Tori told me. Vance nodded as well.

  “Thanks, guys. It’s appreciated. Trust me, you have no idea how much. All right, Vance, hit me with your best shot. What did you find?”

  “I can’t believe I didn’t bring it,” Vance muttered, as he automatically reached for the pocket where he typically kept his notebook. “Okay, we’re gonna do this from memory. Okay, first off, I hope you’ll forgive me for referring to your late wife as the VIC. I have to do it when I put on my detective hat. Now then, there were eye-witness reports, and several dash cam videos, which show the VIC’s SUV driving normally on northbound I-17. Then, as the VIC was passing a slow moving truck, the SUV suddenly veered off the highway, went down the median and, consequently, back up to place her on the other side. She almost immediately struck an eighteen-wheeler head on. I’m sorry, Zack. There really wasn’t anything left of the SUV. The investigators reported that death was instantaneous.”

  I swallowed heavily and let out the breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding, “That’s it? That’s all the investigation they did?”

  “There really wasn’t anything to investigate,” Vance sadly told me. “The SUV was so mangled that you couldn’t even tell it had been a car. I know. There was a picture of it in the file. And before you ask, trust me buddy. You don’t want to see it.”

  I solemnly nodded. I heard a cough and looked up. Harry was frowning.

  “I have a question.”

  Vance nodded, “Go ahead.”

  “Don’t they have those dividers on the freeway that prevent a car from accidentally merging into oncoming traffic? Come on, man. You know what I’m talking about. Those big cement things that they line the freeway with? Where were they?”

  Now it was my turn to frown. I knew what Harry was talking about. Why would Samantha wait until she reached a portion of the freeway that were free of those concrete dividers? It would suggest she was either trying to kill herself, which I knew wasn’t possible, or else the car chose that moment to malfunction and jump into oncoming traffic? What were the odds of that happening?

  “Where did you two live?” Vance asked, drawing everyone’s attention. He had produced a pen from somewhere and was taking notes on the back of a crumpled receipt.

  “Anthem. It’s north of Phoenix.”

  “And you take I-17 to get there? From Phoenix, I mean?”

  I nodded, “Yes.”

  “Do you know if those dividers run all the way up?”

  “No, they don’t. It’s a separated freeway. There wasn’t any need to have them when the median was separating both the north and southbound lanes. Within city limits, on the other hand, they’re there. But… but there was some construction on the freeway. I don’t remember if it was close to the accident site.”

  “Couldn’t you ask your private investigator?” Vance casually asked.

  My eyes widened with surprise. Vance knew about my PI? How? I sure as hell didn’t tell him. I know Jillian didn’t, either.

  “Relax, buddy. I’ve known for a while. So, couldn’t you get your PI to check into that?”

  I pulled out my cell phone and started tapping out a message. I wanted to know if the accident site was anywhere near the construction zone. The only thing I do remember being told was that she wasn’t that far from her work when it happened, placing the location of the accident well within city limits. What I received from the P.I. bears repeating, so here it is:

  Alex Stokes: Mr. Anderson – I’m glad you wrote. I was about ready to call you.

  Me: You were? Did you find something out?

  Alex Stokes: Do you plan on coming to Phx any time soon?

  Me: No, not unless I have to. Why?

  Alex Stokes: You won’t like what I have to say. Your contact was right. SA’s death was premeditated.

  Me: You have proof?

  Alex Stokes: Between job, contacts, and vehicle, it was just a matter of time.

  Me: WTF does that mean?

  Alex Stokes: Get your ass to Phx, boss.

  I wordlessly gave my cell to Vance, who read the exchange, and muttered a curse. Curious, Jillian took the phone next and before I knew it, her hand was tightly clasping mine. Within a matter of moments, my phone had been passed around the table.

  “Dude, what are you gonna do?” Harry asked me.

  “What kind of a question is that?” Vance demanded. “There’s only one thing for him to do.”

  “And what’s that?” Harry asked.

  I nervously cleared my throat, “It would seem that I’ll be returning to Phoenix for a spell. I don’t know what else to do. I have to see this through.”

  “I’ll go with you, Zachary,” Jillian told me.

  “The captain has been pestering me to take a vacation,” Vance told me. “And I’ve always wanted to visit Phoenix.”

  “No you haven’t,” I accused. “And you can’t leave your family behind, just for me. I appreciate it, pal, but I can’t ask you to do that.”

  Tori laid a hand over mine and smiled at her husband, “The girls and I will be fine. This is the least we can do for you, Zack. Go. Take Jillian and Vance. Find out who killed your wife.”

  THE END

  Zack and the corgis will return in:

  The Case of the Chatty Roadrunner

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  I hoped you enjoyed the fifth adventure in the fictional town of Pomme Valley, Oregon. What I get asked about the most is, since the town feels so life-like, am I basing the town off of a real one? The answer is, yes. Pomme Valley, Oregon, is none other than Jacksonville, Oregon. It’s in the same geographical location as PV, with Grants Pass to the west, and Medford to the east. If you ever get a chance to drive through the area, I would highly encourage you to stop for a visit. You won’t be disappointed.

  We are definitely closing in on what happened to Zack’s late wife, Samantha. The clues are there, but poor Zachary is unable to see them. Perhaps a couple sets of canine eyes might be enough? Well, we’re going to find out. The next book will be set in Phoenix, as Zack, Jillian, the dogs, and Vance head south, to Arizona, to reopen the case of Samantha’s death. Will Zack finally have some closure to that chapter of his life? Will Vance be able to solve the case before two lovable corgis show him up?

  Only time will tell.

  If you want to make certain you don’t miss any new releases, or giveaways, or any exciting announcements happening in any of the series I’m writing, then I’ll point out I have a newsletter sign up on my website, located here. I’m always interacting with fans, hosting giveaways, occasionally asking the readers for suggestions for new characters.

  If you enjoyed the book
, please consider leaving a review wherever you purchased it. Reviews help indie authors like myself get noticed! Thanks again for giving my book a chance!

  J.

  January, 2018