North Woods University

by Beck, J. L.

  Crawling off his lap, I drop down to my knees in front of him, freeing his massive erection at the same time. I can’t help myself. I need to see him. Peeking up at him, I take his heavy cock into my hand. His eyes are hooded, almost closed, but I can still see the lust and need swirling in the depths of them.

  Leaning in, I take the velvet mushroom head between my lips. Never breaking eye contact, I press my tongue to the underside and listen as he releases a low rolling groan.

  That sound, it zings right through me, making my core pulse with need. His hand comes up to my face, cradling my cheek, his thumb gently skimming over my heated skin.

  It’s such a simple gesture, there is something so endearing in that touch, it makes my chest swell. My heart feels full, fuller than it’s ever been. For once, I feel whole, normal, less broken. With his other hand, he threads his fingers into my hair and strokes my scalp, making tiny rivulets of pleasure cascade down my spine.

  I groan around his cock, working more of his length into my mouth.

  He’s bigger than I’m used to, so it takes me a bit to get a good rhythm going, but once I do, I start to bob my head up and down, my tongue flicking over the slit of his cock, before circling back around the head. He tastes like soap and salt, and I can’t get enough of him. He’s like a bad habit that I can’t kick.

  With every pass of my tongue, the muscles in Sebastian’s legs and abdomen tighten. His touch becomes rougher, and his fingers dig into my scalp. Intentional or not, he ends up holding my head in place while thrusting his hips upward at the same time. He’s chasing his release, asking for it without words.

  His cock hits the back of my throat, and I gag around his length.

  “Fuck, I’m sorry…” He whispers harshly, skimming his fingers over my cheek. Looking up at him, I can see his dilated eyes, the pleasure of what he just did seeping from every pore on his body. He might be sorry mentally, but physically he wants to do it again, and I’ll be damned if that doesn’t influence me to do it again.

  Breathing through my nose, I swallow as I work him to the back of my throat, but I still gag around his length, saliva dribbling out the side of my mouth and down onto his muscled thigh. Sebastian groans, his head tipping back against the cushions.

  “I’m going to come in your mouth if you do that again…” He tells me, the deep sexy tone of his voice makes it feel like I’ve been struck by lightning, and I’ll be fucking damned if I don’t make him come.

  I’ve never failed at a blowjob, and I’m not going to start now. Sucking on the head before moving down the rest of his cock, I cup his massive balls in my hand. Then, I sink down, taking him all the way to the back of my throat again. This time, I gag massively, my eyes watering, as I suck in a sharp breath through my nose.

  A knocking noise meets my ears, but I ignore it. Pulling back, so I have only the mushroom part of his cock in my mouth, I massage his balls, and smile around him as his hands ball into two tight fists that rest against his thighs.

  Yes, yes. It’s wrong, so wrong. He’s the dean. He’s ten years older than me. He’s my dead sister’s boyfriend. I shouldn’t want his cock in my mouth. I shouldn’t be wet with need for him, but I’m all those things and more.

  His muscles tense beneath my touch, his chest rising and falling in rapid succession. He’s close, so close. I’m just about to take him to the back of my throat again when the door to his office flies open. I sit up straight, letting Seb’s dick slide out of my mouth. Swinging my gaze toward the now open door, I find two people standing in the office looking at me in shock.

  Like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, I freeze.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  For one long, excruciating moment, no one does or says anything. Peeping over my shoulder, I find a girl with long red hair standing in the doorway, a guy beside her. The girl’s eyes are squeezed shut as if she could unsee what she just caught us doing.

  I’m so embarrassed, beyond embarrassed. I’ll never be able to show my face again at this school.

  With a mask firmly in place, Sebastian springs into action, pulling up his pants and tucking his quickly deflating dick away. Pushing up from the floor, I move away from him as if that could make the situation better.

  They already saw him with his dick in your mouth.

  “Seb, we are so sorry,” the guy who walked in on us tells him. At the same time, he grabs the girl who still has her eyes squeezed shut and starts walking backward, taking her with him.

  “Clark…” Sebastian starts, his voice brimming with shame, but the guy merely shakes his head.

  “Dude, we didn’t see anything.” The guy’s hand finds the door handle, and he pulls it closed, leaving us inside the now tension-filled room.

  My stomach churns, as bile rises up my throat. What have I done? My cheeks flame and I don’t know what to do. Do I run, or do I stay? Sebastian has his back to me, but I can still see the agony, the shame rippling through him, and I know without even asking, without even speaking, that he regrets this, regrets what we’ve done.

  “This…” He twists around, his eyes refusing to meet mine and instead fall to the floor at my feet. “This shouldn’t have happened. It… it can’t happen again. This is wrong for so many reasons.”

  I nod, not only can’t it happen again, it shouldn’t. That, however, doesn’t stop my emotions from going haywire. It feels like I’m losing a piece of him like whatever I gained from him in this room a couple minutes ago he has taken back.

  Finally, he looks at me, but instead of finding the Sebastian I need right now, the one that could make all of this okay, I find the one that dropped me off at my dorm.

  Angry, brooding, cold. His features are clear, uncut, and his eyes pierce my skin like a thousand tiny knives.

  “This was a mistake, and it cannot happen again,” he repeats. “It will not happen again.”

  Swallowing down the words I want to say, I head for the door. He doesn’t reach for me or make an attempt to stop me, and that only drives the knife deeper into my chest. Doesn’t he care? Didn’t he feel the passion between us? The heat? Didn’t his heart beat again for the first time? Gripping the knob, I open the door, walk out, and close it gently behind me. As soon as the click of the door sounds the tears I’ve been holding back start to fall.

  This was a mistake…

  That’s all I can hear. All I replay in my mind.

  I know it can’t happen again, that I shouldn’t have crossed the line for more than one reason, but I can’t help but feel the pain of his words being etched into my soul.

  This was a mistake.

  We are a mistake.

  You are a mistake.

  That’s what he thinks, that’s what everybody else is going to think. I need to make sure that I never get swept away like this again. I need to forget Sebastian Miller as much as I can.

  71

  Sebastian

  And the asshole of the year award goes to me, for being a dick… a selfish, irresponsible, utterly unprofessional dick. In my defense, Lily has found a way to slither under my skin, every single time I see her. I can’t outrun her, she’s everywhere, and when she isn’t everywhere that I am, she’s in my head, her memory etched into my thoughts. I tell myself it’s Amy that I see when I look at her, but it’s not just her that I see anymore.

  Staring at my computer screen, I try and focus on my work, it really shouldn’t be that hard for me, but it is. My eyes keep moving back to the couch across the room. Every day I have to remind myself that what happened between us can never happen again.

  And every day I’m reminded of what her hot, wet mouth felt like wrapped around my cock. Jesus. My cock starts to harden at the memory. I never did get to come that night. All that build-up and for nothing.

  Shaking the thought away, I open a new tab on my laptop and type in the school’s website, navigating to the university bookstore. Is there a way for me to send these books without me looking like an even bigger jackass?

&n
bsp; I don’t want her to think I’m buying her off or thanking her for a blowjob—which was spectacular. On the other hand, I’d be a jackass if I didn’t get her books, right? Who fucking knows anymore? My moral compass has been off, to say the least. Fuck, right or wrong. I’m ordering the damn books.

  Double-checking her class schedule, I order all the books she needs and have them sent to the on-campus bookstore. I pay with my credit card, but list Lily’s phone number and her name as the pick-up person.

  Closing my laptop, I check the time on my phone. It’s past eight o’clock, and I’m the only person left inside the building. It’s been like this almost every day this week.

  All I’ve been doing is throwing myself into work. It’s the only way I know to take my mind off her, off the image of her on her knees with that perfect pouty mouth wrapped around my cock. Damnit. I have to stop thinking about her.

  Shoving from the desk, I grab my jacket and slip it on as I’m walking out of the office. I lock up the building behind me and drive home trying to think about anything besides Lily. Spoiler alert… it’s not working.

  Once home, I strip and take a cold shower, before heating up a frozen meal for dinner, Shortly after, I brush my teeth and crawl into bed. Old. That’s what I am. Any man my age would be out having a drink or two on a Friday night, maybe even bring home a woman. Nope, not, me. I’ve been lying in bed staring at the ceiling for the last hour, trying to go to sleep, or merely trying to get myself to stop thinking about her.

  I’ve just rolled over to my side, hoping that a new sleeping position will help, when my phone starts to ring, the sound piercing through the otherwise silent night.

  A little startled, and worried by the late-night phone call, I quickly grab my phone. I have to squint at the screen, my eyes not yet adjusted to the bright light. Across the screen, Rem’s stupid face grins at me, and I almost roll my eyes.

  “Yeah,” I grumble. If he’s calling this late, that can only mean one thing, he needs me to come be his DD.

  “Hey, sorry to wake you,” Rem’s voice comes through the line, and I immediately start to worry, he doesn’t sound drunk at all. I’m worried because if he’s not calling about needing a DD, he’s calling about something else.

  “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is Jules okay?” I question anxiously while shoving the covers back.

  “I’m okay. Jules is okay. I’m not… I’m not calling about us. Actually, I’m not… ah, I’m not even sure if you want to hear this…” He’s stalling, elongating the inevitable, and I’m starting to get annoyed.

  “Out with it, Rem. What the hell is going on?”

  “It’s Lily,” he murmurs, and the breath stills in my lungs. “She’s here at the frat house, drunk off her ass, and hanging out with some people she probably shouldn’t be.”

  The air slips past my parted lips, and disappointment and anger overtake the fear I was feeling a few moments ago.

  “Where are you?” I don’t even ask who she is partying with, if he says they’re no good, then I trust his judgment. All that matters now is removing her from the situation, which I intend to do.

  “I’ll text you the address,” Remington says. “It’s not far from your place.”

  “Get her away from whoever she is with and take her outside. I’ll be there soon.”

  Hanging up the phone, I shove from the bed, and pull on a pair of sweatpants, before grabbing my keys and heading for the door.

  Checking the address Rem sent me, I find it’s only four miles away. Thank fuck. She’s practically partying in my neighborhood.

  Five minutes later, I pull up to a frat house that I’ve never been to. Cars are parked along the road, and even with my windows up, I can still manage to hear the loud music blasting. People are scattered out in the front yard, stumbling about.

  Ignoring them, I scan the area and spot Rem, at the same time that he must spot me. My gaze homes in on Lily. She’s swaying on her feet, so unstable a small breeze could knock her over. Rem leans into her ear, and says something, before all but carrying her toward the car.

  Getting out, I run around the car and open the passenger door for him, and together we get her inside the car. She smells like an entire bar full of liquor, but beneath that is her normal tropical scent and, of course, I would smell that, of all the smells that she’s giving off right now.

  She mumbles something incoherently, and I look down at her, wondering what the hell happened that made her act out like this? This is Lily. She’s smart, beautiful, she has the world at her feet, and she’s doing stupid shit like this? With a barrage of emotions assaulting me, I close the door behind her and turn to my brother.

  “Who was she partying with?”

  “Just some guys, I know… some who I’m pretty sure are slinging dope.”

  “Did she take anything?”

  “I don’t think so. I kept an eye on her. She did outdrink everyone though, so she’ll definitely be feeling it tomorrow.”

  Yeah, she will, among other things, once she’s awake and lucid.

  “Thanks for calling...”

  “I wasn’t sure if I should call you, but then she started saying your name and…” Rem eyes bleed into mine, and I swear it looks like he’s trying to decode something. “I just wasn’t entirely sure since you were acting so fucking weird at Jules’ birthday party.”

  Shit. I fucking forgot about that. I was such a moody asshole that night.

  “I’m sorry, I was…”

  “Don’t worry about that right now,” Rem interrupts. “Take her home and then get some sleep. I’m sorry I woke you. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  I don’t tell him he didn’t wake me, that I had been sitting up for the last fucking hour thinking about the blonde in my passenger seat, who was apparently trying to make herself forget about something.

  “Talk to you tomorrow,” I say, walking around the car and getting into the driver’s seat. Lily’s head shifts back and forth against the headrest, as I lean over the center console to buckle her up.

  This close up, I look at her, really look at her. Her heart-shaped face is beautiful. Her bright blue eyes are framed by coal-black lashes that are barely open, and her creamy white cheeks are flushed from all the liquor she’s drunk. Her pink pouty lips are parted, and a puff of breath passes through them.

  Even in the obliterated state that she’s in, she still maintains her natural beauty.

  Fucking Christ, I shouldn’t be staring at her, much less when she’s passed out. Coming to my senses, I finish buckling her in and start the car. Driving off, I head to the dorms, but when I’m about halfway there, doubt starts to slither in, and I wonder if I should take her there.

  She’s pretty much blacked out. I would have to carry her in and up the stairs. What if other students see me carrying her unconscious body up to her room?

  Yeah, that’s not going to work. Exhaling a frustrated breath, I take the next turn and drive to my house instead. This might be an even worse idea, but it’s the best I’ve got right now.

  At least I won’t be seen by any students, and I won’t have to worry about anyone messing with her. The mere thought of some young ass frat guy touching her has me seeing red, and I tighten my hold on the steering wheel out of anger.

  By the time I pull into the driveway, I’m still not sure how I’m going to make this work. I’m supposed to be trying to forget her, and instead, I end up bringing her back to my home, my domain? I’m the Dean of the university, bringing a student home with me.

  This isn’t just a bad idea, it’s the worst fucking one I’ve ever come up with. This could cost me my position. She could cost me everything. What am I thinking? You’re not. Stupid, that’s what this is. Exiting the car, I come around to the passenger side and open the door. For a second, all I do is stare. How the hell am I going to get her inside without her puking?

  She’s still pretty much unconscious, so my options are limited to carrying her or leaving her here, and I didn’t drive all t
he way to the house just to leave her in the car. Sighing into the night air, I lean down and unbuckle her. Not a twitch, or growl, or anything escapes her lips.

  Yeah, she’s gone. Picking her up, I gently set her on my shoulder, praying the movement doesn’t spark some insane bout of vomiting. Walking slowly up to the house, I find she weighs nothing, and that concerns me. Is she getting enough food? Is she eating? I ask myself all these questions as I unlock the front door and carry her inside.

  Without even thinking about it, I take her into my bedroom and settle her onto the mattress gently. Then I step away and squeeze at the tightened muscles in my neck.

  She looks like a damn angel with her silky blonde hair circling her head like a halo against the black sheets. Right then, all I can picture is her beneath me, those big blues of hers peering up at me as I drive into her, again and again.

  Holy hell. I shove the thought to the furthest corner of my mind. That will never happen. It can never happen. I recite to myself as I peel her boots off.

  Situating her better against the pillows, I decide against removing any of her clothing.

  I don’t want to invade her privacy or make her think I’m some creep. The blowjob incident was bad enough, even if I really did fucking enjoy it. Giving her body one last once over, cringing at the leggings and T-shirt she’s wearing, I pull the comforter over her and tuck in around her. As I’m doing so, I lean over and press a soft kiss to the crown of her head.

  She stirs lightly, her eyes just briefly fluttering open before closing again.

  “I hate you…” Her voice is hoarse like she’s been screaming all night. For a second, I think I’ve made up hearing her speak, but I didn’t.

  She definitely said she hates me.

  She hates me.

  The words sting and I’m not quite sure why. I deserve that, I guess. I’d hate me too after the way I acted. Staring at her a second longer, I wait for her to say something else, but instead, she starts to snore softly, her chest rising and falling evenly. The urge to crawl into the spot beside her and watch her all night long tugs at me.