by Lisa Gerkey
“I don’t know anything, Dad. That’s why I decided to get away for a few days. I need to get my feelings sorted. I don’t want to break Staci’s heart. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I think I’ll take a drive after I finish my breakfast. Driving around in the country is when I’ve always done my best thinking.”
I drive for hours.
Through the city, I reminisce about the places I used to hang out with my friends when I was in high school; the places where my brother and I used to go when we didn’t want to go home.
I haven’t tried to track my mother down to let her know I’m getting married… or to tell her I have cold feet. I can’t imagine she cares either way. I’ve forgotten more than I ever knew about the woman who gave birth to me. That’s the only good thing she ever did. Somehow, I can’t offer her the same forgiveness I gave Dad. I won’t let the way she treated Jeff and me, or the way she deserted us, bother me, but I also won’t pretend I can forget everything.
The little white church that sits a distance from the main road calls to me. Pastor Reynolds said he leaves the doors unlocked. I’m not a church going man, not by a long shot, so I’m a little surprised it’s where I end up after driving around for hours.
A fleet of birds scatters from the rectangular shaped parking lot when I pull in and park my truck. The first thing I notice is Pastor Reynolds. Matthew is standing behind the church looking out into the wooded area. He’s an older man. I don’t know his exact age, but I’d guess him to be in his seventies. His hands in his pockets, he takes a few steps to the right, and then he paces back to the left and repeats the process.
“Is everything alright Mr. Reynolds?” I speak loudly when I call out to him, not sure if he hears well. Calling him Mr. Reynolds doesn’t sound right, but I feel the need to show my respect to the elderly man.
He jumps slightly, and when he turns, I see the worried look on his aged face.
“You surprised me. I didn’t expect to see you until closer to the wedding day. What brings you out?”
“Ah, well, I just needed to get away from Nashville. Is everything okay?”
He looks back to the woods. All I see are the trees. Still, I feel something isn’t right. A path of cold chills makes their way down my spine.
“I heard traffic in the middle of the night. It’s unusual for anyone to be messing around out here. That’s all. Probably my imagination, but the woods are calling to me. A man my age can’t go prowling around alone though.”
I pull my phone out of my pocket when it vibrates. Jaycee’s spoken with my fiancé and knows I’m in Kentucky. She wants to see if I need her and Grant to come. It’s like from miles away, my best friend senses something is wrong. I return the phone to my pocket and stare up at the cloudy sky for a few minutes.
“I’m sure it was nothing. Probably just teenagers looking for a quiet spot to make out.”
I regret my suggestion to Pastor Reynolds. Him being a man of God and all.
The sound of an engine causes us both to turn to see whose coming. There’s nothing out here except the church and the parsonage where the preacher lives.
It’s been hours since I left Dad’s house this morning. He called my phone a few times, but I sent the calls to voicemail.
I didn’t want any distractions.
Years ago, he couldn’t have cared less, so it surprises me a little when I see his old beat up S-10 pull in and park beside my truck. His two dogs, Henry and Ike, sit on the back. They bark and wag their tails excitedly. When Dad gets out of the truck, they jump down to follow him to where I stand. Henry is a few pounds heavier than Ike. That’s how I can tell them apart. I give their heads a gentle pat.
“Dad, what are you doing here?”
An odd look passes between Dad and Pastor Reynolds, but they shake hands.
“I was worried, son. I know your head’s all over the place. Thought maybe you decided to go back to Tennessee without telling us, but then I had a feeling I might find you here.”
Dad doesn’t take his eyes off the old man standing beside me. They know each other. The town isn’t that huge. I’m sure they’ve passed on the street before, but it feels like more than that.
“Why here?”
Something doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel right. Dad and the pastor look at me oddly.
A cold sweat breaks out on my skin. A sick feeling low in my belly comes out of nowhere. I barely make it a few feet to the edge of the forest before I fall to my knees, and vomit.
“Son? Son, are you okay? Joshua?”
“I… I don’t know… something just came over me.”
For an old man, Matthew moves fast. He goes inside the church through the back door and returns a few minutes later with a wet cloth and a glass of water.
“Thank you. I don’t know what the hell… I’m sorry, pastor… I don’t know what happened.”
Dad’s dogs gather around me. They sniff and lick my hands, and then Henry’s ears stand straight up. He moves closer to the forest and barks. Ike joins in, and they both take off running.
“Probably a deer, or could be a bear. We’ve seen a few around here lately.” Dad tries to explain the dogs’ odd behavior, but I can tell he isn’t convinced.
Their bark grows more distance, but no less worrisome. Something is wrong. All three of us know something isn’t right.
Dad, the preacher, and I stand and wait. I wipe the damp cloth across my forehead and take a few sips of water. The sick feeling passes almost as suddenly as it arrived.
“Look, Henry’s got something!” Dad shouts and runs to meet the dog.
The earth moves beneath my feet when Dad holds up a dirty, torn blouse. My pulse quickens.
“Call the police!” I sprint through the thick forest, careful I don’t trip over the fallen limbs and branches. Henry leads the way.
I must run more than half a mile when finally, I hear Ike answer Henry’s barks. Zig-zagging around the trees is like trying to fight my way through a maze. When I finally see what has the dogs’ attention, I stop dead in my tracks. I bend over with my hands on my knees, and try to catch my breath, refusing to believe what I see is real.
Several feet ahead I see a body lying on the ground.
I’m not trained for this.
I’ve seen things on television, but that’s a hell of a lot different from discovering it in real life.
I recall Pastor Reynolds saying he heard something last night.
I ease a little further.
Henry and Ike gather around the lifeless form, staking their claim. When I try to move closer, they step in front to stand guard.
“Easy, boys. I need to take a look. Okay?” The dogs can’t talk. Hell, probably can’t understand either, but I can’t stand the silence.
When I’m finally close enough, I can see it’s a woman. Her long hair matted and dirty, she’s naked, and her arms are bound to the tree with a rope. She’s lying face down. That’s good because I couldn’t handle looking into her dead, empty eyes.
I realize neither Dad nor Pastor Reynolds knows I’ve found anything, so I send a text message, letting my father know it’s bad. The police need to get here.
I look around, wondering if the killer might be hiding somewhere, watching.
“No! Don’t do that, Henry!”
I scold the dog when he licks her small hand. Fearing he’ll wash away evidence the police will need to solve the gruesome crime. I cringe, and my stomach flops when I see a bug crawl across her naked back. I warned the dog to leave the body alone, but I can’t resist brushing the insect away.
Her skin is soft and the slightest bit warm when I graze my fingers across her scratched and bruised back to rake the bug away.
My heart booms in my chest when I hear a tiny, weak whimper.
“Oh, my god, she’s alive! She’s alive!”
No one is close enough to hear, but I shout out; hoping, praying someone is on their way to help. My hands shake while I fumble with the rope to get her untied.
&
nbsp; I roll her onto her back, paying no attention she’s naked. The only thing I see is her face… I can’t breathe. How can this be happening? I’ve looked for signs all day.
“Kennedy! Kennedy, where the hell did you come from? Wake up! You have to wake up…”
Chapter Six
Kennedy
The angels finally come, but why do they have dogs? Nothing makes sense. Everything hurts.
Wait.
This is hell. It must be.
Something brushes against my skin, a featherlike touch. Gentle. The devil’s touch should hurt… burn like fire. I feel like I’m stuck somewhere between heaven and hell.
“Kennedy! Wake up, sweetheart? How did you get here? Why? Why are you here?”
The voice sounds familiar.
I can’t open my eyes. I try harder, but I can’t see who the voice belongs to. Where am I? What’s happening?
***
“Miss Powell, can you hear me?”
A man with an unfamiliar accent, talks. He must be talking to me. He said, Powell. That’s my name, but where am I?
“Kennedy, honey, wake up. We’re all here. You’ll be fine. Do you hear me?” Someone grips my hand. Jaycee…my sister. What’s she doing here? Why can’t she let go? She needs to concentrate on her own life and forget about mine. My sister’s been hurt enough.
I roll my head from side to side. I don’t know if I’m actually moving, or if it’s only in my mind that I shake my head to protest her being here. I don’t want her here. But, where is here?
“Kennedy… Come on, darling. You need to wake up and give us answers.” This time it’s someone different. He’s familiar, too. I think. Truth is I know nothing anymore. Too many voices. Too many hands touching me. I hate it.
I can hear every word they say, but I can’t respond. I’m trapped in the darkness.
“Why won’t she wake up, doctor? It’s been days. You tell me she’s stable, but how can you say that when my sister won’t wake up? Something is wrong!” I listen as Jaycee complains to the doctor.
“Kennedy had a high level of drugs in her system when she arrived. She’s suffered tremendous abuse. She’s lucky to be alive. I believe she’ll make a full recovery…at least physically. It could take days, or she could wake up in a few minutes. When she wakes up, she’s going to need treatment, a lot of therapy.”
I try… I try hard as I can to open my eyes. I can hear everything.
I’m not dead.
I’m in the hospital, but why? Why am I here? How did I get here?
I see his face…Jayson…
“No! No! Help! Somebody, please help me!” I see a flash of light mixed with little black dots, and then another. I see faces. How many people are in the room? Too many faces. “He’s… he’s going to kill me! You all need to get out of here! Go! Get out! He’ll kill you, too!”
The nurses try to hold me in place, but I fight.
“I’m sorry. We need to give her something to calm her down.” An older man speaks to my sister.
“But, doctor, she just woke up!”
I’m relieved when I see the needle in the nurse’s hand. The drugs will help. They always make me feel better. With wide eyes, I watch the nurse inject something into the IV.
I don’t speak to anyone, but while the drugs take effect, I look at all the faces in the room. I recognize a few. Some are unfamiliar, but then I see him… just before he slips out the door. A blonde woman walks beside him. He has his arm around her. Why is she with him?
Chapter Seven
Josh
“Why are you so worried about that girl, Josh?”
Everyone is gathered in a private waiting room.
After Kennedy woke up in a state of panic saying someone wants to kill her, the doctor ordered a sedative and made everyone leave. It’s been a week since I found her in the woods, barely alive. I should’ve gone back to Tennessee right away, but I didn’t. Couldn’t.
When I refused to leave until Kennedy wakes up, Staci came to Kentucky. She knows there’s a reason I don’t want to leave. I have to grow a set of balls and tell her how I feel. Confused, mostly.
We’re standing in the back of the waiting room alone. Our family and friends are watching us, listening. I’m sure most know the real reason I won’t leave. I can’t tell Staci though. Not yet. She wouldn’t understand, and I don’t have the right words to clarify it. I don’t even understand.
Kennedy is like a drug. One look at her and now, I’m hooked. I just want to see her one more time. If I can lay my eyes on the broken beauty once more, I’ll kick the addiction. I’ll get on with my life. With Staci.
Kennedy is nobody. She means nothing to me. Yeah, right.
“These are my friend’s, Staci. Jaycee’s my best friend. You know that.”
“Jaycee has a husband now. I don’t think she needs your shoulder to lean on anymore. Are you sure that’s all? I feel like there’s something you aren’t telling me.”
There’s a whole heap of shit I’m not telling her, but I don’t want to have that conversation here.
I walk over to the water cooler in the corner of the waiting room, and fill the cone-shaped paper cup with the clear cold liquid and drink it down.
The pressure is getting to me.
I can’t get Kennedy out of my head. Her lying there on the cold hard ground. I want to be close to her, hold her. I know it isn’t right having these thoughts when I have a beautiful woman standing beside me. My fiancé. I’m supposed to love her. I’m not supposed to feel any fucking thing for Kennedy, but what if she injected herself under my skin that night in the alley? What if I never shake these fucking feelings I have for her?
I’m relieved when Jeff joins us.
“Take a walk with me, bro. Kat can hang out with Staci while you and I go grab a bite to eat in the cafeteria.”
I could argue and tell him I’m not hungry, but I need a break from everyone. Feels like they’re all judging me. They should. I’m judging me more harshly than any of my friends or family ever will.
“Kat and I can go too…”
“No. I need a few minutes with my brother.” I give her a kiss on the forehead to ease the rejection before I turn away.
“You look like shit, Josh. You want to talk? It might help to get everything off your chest.”
Jeff and I each get a burger and fries and take a seat at a table. He sits across from me, observing me. I can’t taste the food, but I know I should eat something.
“I can’t get it out of my head…finding Kennedy… What does it all mean? Is it a sign? She shows up in the very place I’m supposed to marry Staci… It’s all crazy. My life is pretty crazy right now.”
“I agree. It is crazy, but you know what? You aren’t obligated to go through with the wedding…ever…or, you can postpone it. I know that isn’t what Staci wants, but if she cares about you, she’ll understand you have a lot going on right now. You do want to marry Staci, right? Kennedy had your feelings all tied up for a while after you spent the night with her in Memphis, but you’ve moved past that, right?”
I concentrate on eating a few more bites to pass a little time before I answer his questions. He knows me better than anyone. Lying won’t work with him. I might get by with everyone else, but never Jeff. He isn’t afraid to call me out on the things I want to avoid. He’ll work until he gets it out of me. He already knows the answer. He’s just forcing me to say it. We’ve had this conversation a few times before.
“I can’t honestly tell you I love either of them. I’m not even sure what being in love feels like. I care about Staci. She’s fun as hell, and we have good chemistry when we play together. Kennedy…damn, that girl got to me when I laid my eyes on her for the first time. Maybe it’s my need to help people. That could be the reason she calls to me so strongly. I don’t know.”
“You sound like a broken record, bro. You already have all the answers to your problems. You just have to accept them. Break hearts, heal hearts, do what you got
to do, but stop pretending for the sake of everyone else. You’re feelings matter, too. I’ll support you no matter what, or who you choose. As long as you’re real, man, I’m behind you.”
Jeff and I are alone in the elevator when we head back up to the waiting room.
“Jeff, you think you can keep everyone occupied for a few minutes while I slip in to see Kennedy. I know she’s probably sleeping, but I’d like a few minutes alone with her.”
“Sure.” I can tell my request doesn’t surprise him.
When I get to her room, I ease the door open to see Kennedy’s thin, battered body resting comfortably. There aren’t any signs that say she isn’t allowed visitors, so I step lightly to sit in the chair beside the bed.
Her chest rises and falls with each breath. The day I found her, I thought she was dead. I didn’t know it was Kennedy until I rolled her over, but my instincts drew me to her. I pull the chair closer to the bed, and I take her hand in mine.
Who hurt this beautiful woman? How can anyone be so cruel and mean they want to harm a woman? I don’t understand.
I can still see the bruising around her neck where the bastard choked her.
It makes me so goddamn angry. I want to find the motherfucker who did this to her and have a few minutes alone with him. I’d strip his sorry ass and tie him to a tree with a rope, and I’d give him the same punishment he gave Kennedy. Only, I’m not sure I’d stop until I knew there was no life left in the useless asshole. He doesn’t deserve to live.
Kennedy’s mixed up with the wrong people. It was only months ago when her sister found her in a terrible situation. Jaycee got her into rehab, but once she was strong enough, she signed herself out and disappeared. Now, she shows back up like this.
I graze my thumb back and forth across Kennedy’s knuckle. Touching her soothes me. I haven’t been this content for a long time. I don’t know what makes me do it, but I raise her delicate hand to my lips. I can’t hold back the grin that spreads across my face when I see her eyes flutter.
“You must be my prince charming… huh? I feel your lips on me, and I wake up…”
