Jamb (The Cornerstone Series)
Page 9
“What happened to him?” Milo asks. Robin snorts, rolls her eyes.
“We don’t know yet,” I say. “Brandon was unconscious.”
“Mark?” Zane asks.
“No sign of Mark,” Garrett shakes his head. “Brandon came back on his own.”
“How did he get here? And how did he get in? He just walked up to the front doors and we let him in?” Milo asks. The temperature in the room drops from cool to Antarctica. I wince. I can’t believe he even chanced asking that, considering who he is, where he came from, and that the entire floor that was supposed to be housing his Cura is a ghost town.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Robin snaps.
“It was just a question,” Deeta says. “I was wondering about it too.”
“You’re Alo,” Robin says. “No offense, Deets, but I don’t ask you to give me the inside scoop on Memories and you shouldn’t be asking how I keep you safe.”
“Oh yeah, no offense,” Deeta says, but she’s totally offended. She leans back and looks at Milo, but he’s watching Zaneen. Deeta’s frown deepens like crumpled plastic wrap and I think she’s going to start to cry, but she only sniffs and looks out the glass door to the courtyard.
“We should get in some training,” I say to change the subject, but the second it’s out of my mouth, my brain feels like it puckers, as if I just chewed up that bitter thought and spit it out by accident. I should’ve come up with something else. Anything else. The absolute last thing I want to do is train. What I really want to do right now is be alone. With Garrett.
But Zane bounces on his couch cushion. “That’s the way to think, Nali Girl! Let’s do it. I could go for blowing off some steam.”
“Ugh,” Robin says to me.
“We could go back to your place,” Zaneen says. Everyone turns at once to see who she’s talking to and Milo’s grinning at her.
“We could,” he says and Zane hops up, waving his arms.
“Ho no. You definitely can’t,” he says.
“Oh, I definitely can, ” Zaneen fires back.
“Nope, nope, nope.”
“Like I’m going to listen to you, chicken bone.”
“Then listen to me. What do you think you are doing, Neen?” Robin asks. Deeta interjects with a sticky smile.
“It sounds like fun,” she says, “but Milo, we really should be getting back to our writing instead of all this visiting. We need to try again, so the Addo can see you’re making an effort.”
“Too bad.” Zaneen aims her words at Milo and her entire face, from the lowered lashes to the pouty lips, are a tractor beam. He nods, entranced.
“I’ve been stuck,” he says.
“Stuck.” Robin snorts again. “You mean, like the Memories aren’t even being presented to you. As in, even the dead don’t trust you.”
Deeta gets to her feet, brushing out the wrinkles from the edge of her shirt.
“I thought you didn’t stick your nose into the Alo’s business,” Deeta says. A massive surge of holy crapness goes around the room. Deeta, of all the people in the world, Went. There.
“You know what?” Robin says, getting off the couch. She brushes past Deeta and goes to the door. “Do whatever you want, Deets. I’ve told you he’s trouble. And you should know better, Neeny.”
Robin opens the glass door and stomps out, knocking shoulders with Sean, who’s right hand is tied to Teagan, their finger interlaced. Teagan’s baby, no, Sean and Teagan’s baby, is cradled against Teagan’s chest and held in place with her free arm.
“Didn’t mean to be your speed bump!” Sean laughs over his shoulder to Robin, as she stalks off.
Sean moves carefully over the threshold, so Teagan isn’t dragged. She smiles at him and he smiles back and it’s a little gross, how smiley they are. I wonder if Garrett and I look like that.
“Thought you guys might want to meet our daughter,” Sean says. Teagan’s smile goes tight and Sean lifts a questioning eyebrow, the same way Garrett does. Teagan blushes.
“It’s nothing,” she says. “I’m just so used to her being all mine. It’s weird to hear you say our daughter. But I like it.”
Sean kisses Teagan’s nose as he takes the baby. It’s an awkward trade, even with the retractable cord on their rope. The binding still gets in the way. But the baby doesn’t seem to care. In fact, once she’s on Sean’s chest, she snuggles in and lets out the sweetest little sigh of contentment that I’ve ever heard. Sean beams and we all awww at once.
“Want to meet your first niece ever?” Sean asks as he looks at Garrett and then me. I blush that he’s already lumping Garrett and I together like that. Our niece. “You remember how to hold a baby, Garrett?”
“Like riding a bike,” Garrett says, taking the baby from his brother. “Oh, sweet. This one’s not all wiggly, like Iris was.”
In Garrett’s arms, the baby does the same little snuggle and contented sigh. And it’s even cuter the second time. He turns toward me, adjusting her so I can see her and the second I do, my heart drops a beat.
“Grace.” The name comes out in a breath and Garrett blinks, his eyes instantly on mine. He knows what that name means to me.
It can’t be.
Can it?
I search her little face, because usually all babies look the same—like grumpy little old men—but this baby is not like that at all. She’s beautiful. She’s got a perfectly round head covered with wisps of delicate curls, a tiny pink mouth that sleeps in the relaxed shape of a soft bowtie, and when I whisper-breathed the name, her eyes fluttered open only a second to reveal her beautiful, green eyes. Unmistakable eyes that feel more familiar than family to me. My heart fills with the sight of her and my eyes well up. I know this baby. She is Grace, the little girl that was my first Connection, and I get to see her and be with her, again.
I meet Garrett’s gaze and the happiness leaks into his grin too. I’d told him about Grace when she’d helped me through some of my first Impressioning…told him how much she liked him, how she said he was good and that I should trust him.
“What was that you said?” Sean asks.
“Grace,” Garrett tells him. “She looks like she is full of grace.”
“Grace,” Sean repeats thoughtfully. “I really like that. What do you think of that for her name, Teagan?”
“It’s beautiful,” Teagan says, “but it’s kind of…I don’t know. I was thinking Crystal or Ashley. Or Taylor or Mikayla. With Mikayla, we could call her Miki for short. Wouldn’t that be cute?”
All of Teagan’s names cute, but in my gut, I know it’s not this baby’s name. It’s their choice, but someplace inside me, this baby is always going to be Grace to me and it’s going to be really hard to call her anything else. Garrett lifts the baby, her head in his palms, her feet resting on his forearms.
“It’s your baby,” he tells Sean. “You can call her whatever you want, but wow, she looks like a Grace to me too.”
“I like it,” Sean says, but he pulls a smile from Teagan when he adds, “but I like the sound of Miki for a nickname. It doesn’t get any cuter than that.”
“You going to share?” Deeta asks, putting out her hands. Garrett hands the baby to her and Deeta coos, “Oh, Sean, she’s beautiful!”
“Thank you,” Teagan beams. Sean lifts her hand to his mouth and kisses it. The baby gets passed around the room, but no matter how careful we all are, Teagan can’t hide her anxiety when Zane hands the baby to Milo and the two fumble a little with the hand-off. Grace is perfectly fine and doesn’t even wake up, but Teagan’s hands jerk up once, bringing Sean’s right with her left, as if expects the two boys to drop her daughter.
“I’ve got her,” Milo assures Teagan, although his arms are bent so stiffly that it looks like somebody just shoved a coat hanger through his shoulders. He mumbles, “She’s very pretty…uh, good job.”
I giggle and Deeta joins me.
“Yeah, good job,” Deeta says.
“What’s that like anyway?” Za
neen asks, waving a finger at the box and rope strung between Sean and Teagan.
“Weird,” Teagan says. “I went from being all alone to not being able to get rid of him.”
Sean just laughs. “Instant family, just add rope.”
“How do you go to the bathroom and stuff?” Deeta asks and I think all of us kind of groan inside. Except Zane, of course. I know I wanted to ask, but there was no way I was going to.
“After having a baby, you’d think nothing like that would matter, but it totally does,” Teagan giggles. She drops Sean’s hand, showing the short length of retractable rope between them. “It takes some gymnastics to get some privacy, but it’s do-able. You’ve got to lean a little and keep your arm out, but thank God our toilet is close to the door.”
“I told her it was no big deal,” Sean says and Deeta immediately scrunches up her nose.
“Ewww. That’s gross.”
“What’s the big deal?” Zane shrugs. “They’re married. I use the bathroom when Robin’s in there all the time.”
“You said you only pee in front of her,” Zaneen says.
“Ewww, still gross.” Deeta’s nose remains scrunched up. I scrunch up my nose in agreement and add that to the top of the list of things that make me nervous about going through Binding.
“So what’s the baby’s name going to be?” I ask, because I don’t want think about that short length of rope anymore.
“Good question,” Sean says. “How about Mikayla Grace, Teagan? It’s got a pretty ring to it.”
“Very,” Milo agrees, handing the baby back. Teagan cuddles her close, kissing the baby’s forehead over and over again. Sean’s hand sways in the air as Teagan hugs their daughter and then he turns his palm in, so he’s patting the baby’s back.
“Miki,” Teagan says with another kiss. “I love it.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Grace…I mean Miki…starts fussing, so Sean and Teagan excuse themselves to take care of her.
“I better go find Robin,” Zane says. “Might as well dig into that cold shoulder now and get it over with. Dang, she hates it when I don’t agree with her.”
“I should go too,” Deeta says. “I kind of bit her head off.”
“That was biting her head off?” Zaneen asks. “That’s all you got, Deets?”
Deeta shrugs, but Zaneen sighs, “Yeah, I should go too. Last thing I want is Robin doing her Emen thing and sneaking up on me in the middle of the night. She’ll scare the crap out of me just because I ticked her off.”
“She does that,” Zane says with a visible shiver. “I hate it when she does that.”
The three of them file out, and then it’s just Garrett and me and Milo, and it goes totally awkward in zero point two seconds. Garrett’s fingers catch mine and he gives me a tiny squeeze.
“Well,” Garrett says.
“Well, I’m going to get going,” Milo says, but he doesn’t just get up and leave. Instead there’s another awkward minute before he says, “Uh, Nalena, can I talk to you for a sec?”
“Sure,” I say and Milo flicks his head toward the door.
“Would you mind if we talk in private?”
I want to groan. Garrett’s fingers hold mine with a steady pressure and as much as it seems like he doesn’t want me to go, I don’t want to go ten times more. What I’d really like is for Milo to leave Garrett and me alone, so we can get back to what we were doing before everyone showed up.
But Milo’s obviously not going to go away unless I talk to him.
I turn to Garrett and kiss the smooth bridge of his nose.
“I’ll be right back,” I say and Garrett grins, until he looks at Milo. Then the grin flattens out and Garrett lets go of my hand, crossing his arms over his chest as he says, “I’m right here, if you need me.”
I follow Milo out and pause just outside the door. Milo keeps walking.
“Hey,” I say. “I’m not going on a hike. What did you want to talk about?”
“Just over here, where no one’s going to bug us,” he says, pointing to one of the benches that is pushed up against the courtyard wall. The bench he picked is a little more secluded from the rest, but the courtyard is pretty quiet now anyway. I follow him and plop down hard to let him know I’m losing my patience.
“Okay, I’m here. So what do you want to talk about,” I say.
“It’s about Deeta,” he says. “And Zaneen.”
“Yeah? What about them? It looks like you can have your choice.”
“Not exactly. Not either,” His eyebrows peek with the suggestion. “At least, not so long as I’m Alo.”
“Wait a minute.” My jaw drops. This conversation is a lot more serious than I expected. “What are you saying? Are you thinking of going Simple? For Zaneen? Are you kidding? That would dissolve the 1 Cura for good, wouldn’t it?”
Milo flops down onto the bench beside me. He drops his head into his palms.
“Yes. It would. I don’t know who else to talk to about this. I’m just not sure if I can handle…everything.”
“I don’t know if you could handle Zaneen,” I snort, but Milo doesn’t pull his head out of his hands. “Look, I know you’ve been having trouble writing the Memories, but I’m sure that’ll come. You just have to keep trying. Is that why you’re thinking of leaving? Or are you really that into Zaneen? I didn’t know you two knew each other that well and this is kind of a big decision. I mean, I don’t want to tell you how to live your life, but this all seems a little…”
“A little sudden?”
“A little crazy,” I nod. “Maybe you should talk to the Addo.”
Milo shakes his head, looking off across the courtyard.
“I’ve already talked to him,” he says. “The Addo only told me I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do. That doesn’t help a whole lot, when I don’t want to do any of it.”
“Wow. He gave you the green light to do whatever you want?” I say. It’s kind of unbelievable that Addo would do that. I don’t know why he’d be okay with Milo leaving, when Milo’s all that’s left of the 1 Cura. Then again, Milo’s the black sheep and maybe letting him go, and letting that Cura just dissolve, is safer than begging him to stay.
He grins dryly, as if there really isn’t a green light, but he wishes there were. “You think that’s what he’s doing?”
“Sounds like it to me. Sounds like he’s telling you to follow your gut, isn’t he? But what about Zaneen? Have you talked to her about any of this? I mean, you’re not planning on going Simple without even knowing if she wants to be with you, are you?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” he says. “I just think I’m getting in over my head. I don’t know if I really want to be with Zaneen or not. I mean, she’s cute…”
“Cute? She radiates sexy like a freakin’ atomic bomb.”
“Well yeah,” he grins. “Your dad would’ve told me to go for the girl, but…”
“Of course he would’ve,” I say sourly. “Do you really think somebody who went to The Fury would ever steer you straight? I mean, Roger stole his best friend’s girlfriend, even though he didn’t really want to be with her.”
“I know he was your biological father, Nali, but he raised me, and I can tell you he really wasn’t that bad. Not really.”
“He killed my mother. It doesn’t get any worse than that.”
Milo pauses, frowns. “Well, thanks for talking anyway.”
That’s what kicks me in the gut. He doesn’t have anybody to talk to that might understand where he’s coming from, except me, and I’m shutting him down just because he was raised by my father. I’m a tube.
It’s not like I wasn’t terrified out of my skull about joining the Ianua myself. I totally get how freaked he feels about being able to handle everything. At least before I made the commitment to join the Ianua, I had people to talk to—an intact Cura, my mom, and Garrett, who is, luckily, on the same side as me.
Milo’s got nobody. He’s only got Roger’s old, h
alf-baked, Fury-driven advice to go on. And he’s the last one in a depleted Cura. People want so much out of him—to be better than where he came from and who he learned from—but nobody really expects it.
When I look at his big picture, I can see why he’s flipping out and how tempting it would be to give up on what’s best for everyone and focus on doing what’s best for just him. So, instead of getting up and going back to Garrett like I really want to, I lean back on the bench, feeling the hard wood slats against my spine.
“The problem is, I can’t give you an answer. You’ve got to make up your mind and choose for yourself.”
“Choose.” His laugh is bitter and it reminds me of my own choice once. When the Addo told me I had a choice, but I really didn’t. The only real choice I had was the one I didn’t want at first, the one that was best for everyone, not just me. I glance at Milo, wondering if maybe Addo’s given him the same kind of choice that I had. None.
“So what are you going to do?” I ask.
“Probably what I should do,” he scoffs and that kind of seals it for me. He must not have a choice either, but wants to make one anyway. He scuffs his sole on the ground. Whatever the answer is, it’s not for me to know, and that’s probably for the best.
***
Zane’s back in my suite, talking to Garrett when I return.
“Looks like I’m bunkin’ with Garrett and Milo tonight,” he says. “Or out on one of those benches in the courtyard.”
“Robin’s really mad, huh?”
“Let’s put it this way,” he says. “She’d probably be happy to come and train tonight. So she could get her hands on me. And not in the good, fun way, either.”
“Train? Tonight?”
“We thought it would be a good idea,” Garrett says. “The Addo is under wraps and Zane’s dad is on watch, so it’s a good idea for us to get in some training and stay sharp. We’ve got to be ready for our shift.”
“Sharp. For our shift,” I echo. I wonder when that’s going to happen. I feel about as sharp as a month-old avocado. I’d rather hang out here and kiss Garrett. Of course that’s not going to happen. My whole purpose as a Contego is to protect. Not laze around on the couch and make out.