by Brenda Novak
“Did James finish the bridge?” he asked at length, changing the subject to a topic filled with much less tension.
He was referring to his friend James Glenn, the contractor he’d recommended she hire. Glenn had been working to replace the temporary structure Gavin had created. “Said he’d be done tomorrow.”
“I checked out his progress late last night. Thought it looked close, but it was hard to see in the dark.”
“It’s getting there. Thanks for putting me in touch with him. He’s a nice man.”
“I’m still looking for a piece of carpet you’ll like. Is there anything else you need?”
“No. Don’t worry about me. I’m not your problem.”
“What about the stove you just mentioned to Branson? Or was it Alia? I know you need one. Have you found anything yet?”
“I have, but it’s in LA, so I’ll have to wait.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t have any way to pick it up.”
“I could borrow Eli’s truck and get it for you in the morning.”
“I can wait until a more convenient time. I don’t want to put you out.”
“If it’s a good deal, don’t miss it. Tell the seller I’ll be there at ten.”
“But driving to LA will take up your whole morning!”
“I don’t mind,” he said. “Text me the address when you have it. I’ll get Eli’s truck before I head home tonight. I’m about to leave the ranch now.”
“You can’t keep helping me, Gavin. You realize that.”
“Helping you is all I can do,” he said, and hung up.
21
Eli accompanied Gavin when he arrived at a quarter after twelve. Relieved that picking up the stove had come off without a hitch, Savanna made sure there wasn’t anything obstructing their path so they could carry it in, and watched as they installed it. She was afraid a problem might arise when they hooked it up. She didn’t want them to run into anything that would make the job harder, since they were already being so nice, but Gavin knew what he was doing. He’d brought plenty of tools, had even thought to stop and purchase a new corrugated connector, which she wouldn’t have known to suggest.
Thanks to his knowledge and preparedness, everything went smoothly, and it didn’t take long. They were done in twenty minutes.
“It’ll be so nice to be able to bake again,” she said as she tested the oven. “I can’t thank you enough for going to all this trouble.”
“Happy to help,” Eli said.
Gavin didn’t respond. He’d been quiet and focused all morning. Last night he’d sent her a short text to confirm he’d received the address where he was supposed to pick up the stove, and he’d texted her again this morning to let her know that they’d gotten off on time. But that was it. Since he’d arrived, he’d been busy with the stove. And now he was showing Branson and Alia what some of his tools were for, since they were curious.
“That was a big drive, definitely more than one neighbor should expect of another.” Savanna knew Gavin could hear what she and Eli were saying, but he didn’t contribute. Although he could have joined the conversation here and there, he seemed to prefer talking strictly to the kids.
“I wish I could’ve found a viable option that was closer,” she added. “I owe you both, so if there’s anything I can ever do for you, I hope you won’t hesitate to ask me.”
Eli waved off her words. “You don’t owe us anything—although Gavin probably wouldn’t complain if you made him dinner once in a while.”
If Gavin heard his brother’s suggestion on his behalf, he pretended he didn’t.
Savanna cleared her throat. “Why don’t I make you and your wife dinner sometime?”
“We’d like that,” Eli replied. “Cora’s looking forward to meeting you.”
“She’ll be at the barbecue tomorrow, won’t she?”
“She will. She would’ve come today except she had to help a friend from high school decorate for her wedding.”
Savanna set the glasses she’d used to give them a drink in the sink. “How’d you meet Cora?”
“She’s a teacher at New Horizons.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Savanna could see Gavin showing Branson how to hold a hammer and hit a nail. “So you work together.”
“Yes. We’re keeping it all in the family,” he joked.
When Gavin put the hammer away, latched his toolbox and stood, Savanna shifted her gaze to the man she’d had difficulty not looking at ever since he and Eli had pulled into her drive. Just the sight of him made her chest tighten and her fingers itch to touch him. She’d never craved contact the way she craved contact with him, and it didn’t matter how many times she told herself that she was being ridiculous, that she’d met him only two weeks ago, that she was acting like some kind of lovesick teenager. She couldn’t seem to control her reaction. She felt how she felt. “Thank you,” she told him.
Acknowledging her gratitude with a nod and a fatalistic smile, he started toward the door.
“Hey, Savanna’s promised to make you dinner,” Eli called after him, catching him before he could go out.
Savanna hadn’t included Gavin in her invitation, but since Eli had just put her on the spot, she quickly agreed. “Yes, um, I will. Of course. If you and...and Heather would like to come when I have Eli and his wife over...”
Gavin raised his eyebrows to signify that he had no idea where she was going with such an invitation, and she let her words fade away. She didn’t know where she was going with it, either. That was opposite to anything she’d ever really want to do. She was just trying to be polite so that Eli wouldn’t find it odd that only he and his wife were invited.
“Or maybe I’ll drop something off sometime,” she finished lamely.
“You coming?” Gavin said to Eli. “We promised the boys at the ranch we’d play some ball today, and I’m sure they’re getting tired of waiting for us. Then I’ve got a gig that’s four hours away.”
“I’ll be right out,” Eli said.
The screen door slammed shut but didn’t stay closed. The kids followed Gavin outside while Eli hung back. “Don’t mind him,” he said, lowering his voice and gesturing toward Gavin’s retreating back. “He’s dealing with some personal problems that have nothing to do with you.”
She drew a deep breath. “You mean the baby.”
He stood taller. “He told you Heather’s pregnant?”
She nodded.
He clicked his tongue. “Here’s hoping he doesn’t marry her.”
“He’s going to,” she said, and she couldn’t blame him. Part of her even admired him for trying to be such a stand-up guy.
“It would be just like him,” Eli agreed with a frown.
The kids came back inside as Savanna watched Gavin and Eli drive off. Gavin hadn’t touched her, hadn’t even brushed against her, given her a sexy smile or tried to be alone with her since that night they’d made love under the stars. That brief flash of sexual activity was over, she told herself. Even if the attraction remained, they couldn’t act on it. She needed to accept that.
She did accept it, she told herself.
And yet she was still taking her birth control.
* * *
That afternoon, Savanna drove the kids to town. The stove was installed. The bridge was finished so she could cross it with confidence. The broken windows Gavin had boarded up in the beginning had been replaced along with the back door. There was still a lot to do, but she was feeling good about the progress on the house. She’d even called Detective Sullivan and told him she’d be willing to come to Utah, if he felt it was truly necessary, and he’d said he’d see about making the arrangements.
After all of that, she felt as if she, Branson and Alia deserved a little family fun
, and with Gavin’s mother’s barbecue and swim party tomorrow, she hoped to find a new swimsuit. She doubted Gavin would even look at her. He was being so careful not to say or do anything that could be construed as inappropriate for a man in his situation that everything had become odd and strained between them. Whenever she caught his eye, a troubled expression would descend on his face before he pulled his gaze away. She hated that.
Again, she considered backing out of the barbecue, but it was all her kids could talk about. She didn’t want to disappoint them. And she was interested in meeting Aiyana. From what Savanna had been able to determine so far, Gavin’s adoptive mother was someone worth meeting. While Savanna was in the dressing room trying on a pair of shorts, Branson told the salesclerk at the thrift shop that they were going to New Horizons for a swim party, and the clerk said that Aiyana was one of the nicest people in the world.
Savanna bought the shorts, since they were only four dollars. She bought a few things for her kids, too, and then they went out for ice cream. Branson wanted to show her where Gavin had taken them. They even stopped by the park and fed the ducks before visiting the only shop in town Savanna thought might sell swimsuits.
She found a gorgeous black bikini as soon as she walked through the door, but it was too expensive.
She put it back on the table, checked the other swimsuits and found that they were all beyond her budget. She was about to leave when she spotted the clearance rack. Since it was spring, she didn’t expect to find any swimsuits on sale, but she checked, anyway, and was surprised to find a stunning one-piece in a nude color that looked like it might fit. The tag said there was a seam coming undone on one side, so it had been marked down, but she could easily fix that.
“How do you like it?” the salesclerk asked once she was in the dressing room and had had time to put it on.
Savanna smiled as she gazed at herself in the mirror.
“Is it pretty, Mommy?” Alia wanted to know. She and Branson waited just outside the fitting room.
Savanna wasn’t sure she’d ever looked better. The suit was sexy without being overly revealing, and it suited her coloring and figure better than the black ever could. Best of all, it was half price.
“I think I’ll take it,” she said.
* * *
Gavin had never been in a worse mood. Somehow, against all odds, given what’d happened to him as a child, he’d managed to find peace in his life. He’d managed to hang on to that peace, for the most part, even after Heather had told him she was pregnant. There had certainly been a few bright spots, but those were due to Savanna. The more the news settled in, the more he had to face all the ways it would change his life, the more tense and irritable he became.
Thank God Heather was out of town for the weekend, he told himself as he drove to Bar None, the little honky-tonk in Soledad where he’d be playing tonight. Having her around all the time was part of the reason he was so wound up. The pressure to feel something he didn’t and to deny other feelings he did have made it so he could hardly look at her, which only caused her to become more determined and clingy.
What Scott had come to tell him at New Horizons troubled Gavin, too—definitely contributed to his sour mood. He’d be lying if he pretended it didn’t. Part of him wanted to disregard Scott’s accusations, to give Heather the benefit of the doubt. He felt he owed her that much, simply by virtue of the months they’d been together over the previous three years. The other part of him was tempted to believe Scott because then he’d at least have some justification to walk away, to handle the situation the same way Scott was—with the promise of a child support check if the paternity test was positive.
But what about the baby? If it was his, he wanted to be a good father and sending a check every month wasn’t enough. Heck, even if the baby wasn’t his, it was a baby and would have all the same wants and needs he’d had when he’d been so painfully rejected. He should step up regardless.
“Shit.” No matter how hard or how long he thought about the situation, there didn’t seem to be a way out. He couldn’t put his desires first, not if he wanted to feel good about himself. And yet he was having a difficult time simply hanging out with Heather, couldn’t avoid feeling a bit of resentment, even though that didn’t seem fair if the pregnancy was an accident. He should be glad she wanted him. Otherwise, he could be put in the position of having to plead with her just to let him spend time with his child. He didn’t care what the court set up. Without her cooperation, it would be a nightmare.
Then there was Savanna. She needed someone in her life right now, too; she was going through so much. He wanted to be there for her. But just the amount of time he spent thinking about her made him feel disloyal to Heather.
He was glad when he finally arrived in Soledad. The long car drive had given him entirely too much time to focus on his problems. He was looking forward to performing, to giving everything he had to the crowd and not feeling anything except the music. But when he approached the door, he found a sign posted that indicated the place was closed. There was no explanation, but it looked official, so he wondered if they’d lost their liquor license or something. And why hadn’t anyone called him?
Shaking his head, Gavin pulled out his cell phone to find the email of the person who’d booked the job through his website. There was a phone number in that message for a Paul Timpson, but “Paul” didn’t answer when Gavin tried him. He sent the guy a text, asking what was going on and received a brief explanation that they were having “management” problems between two partners.
Thanks for letting me drive four hours for nothing, he wrote back, and received an apology—something about how stressful and sudden everything had been. Gavin had received a fifty-percent deposit upon booking but should’ve received the other half of his money tonight, after the performance.
The guy promised he’d pay it, since it was his fault Gavin hadn’t been notified, but Gavin knew chances were slim that money would ever come in.
Shoving his phone back into his pocket, he returned to his rental car and headed home.
* * *
Detective Sullivan called not long after eight that evening to tell Savanna she was scheduled for a Tuesday afternoon flight from Los Angeles. The male inmates of Juab County Jail could receive visitors only on Wednesdays. If she didn’t get there this Wednesday, she’d have to wait until next week, which Sullivan didn’t want to do. He told her a licensed caregiver would arrive Tuesday morning so she could spend some time with the woman and make sure she felt comfortable leaving her kids. After that, she’d fly out of LA and into Salt Lake on a direct flight, pick up a rental car and drive to Nephi. He’d meet her at the Safari Motel on Main Street, where she’d be staying, for a little coaching, and then she’d visit Gordon the following morning.
Sullivan had thought of everything, had made it as easy as possible, but the knowledge that she’d be returning to a place that held such a terrible stigma for her—and knowing that she’d have to face Gordon—made her anxious. She’d spent her entire married life making excuses for her husband’s behavior (blaming it all on his past as he did) and trying to placate him and avoid arousing his temper. Now she’d not only have to face him, she’d have to confront him. Taking him on over the phone was one thing. She’d been so upset since she’d begun to believe he was guilty that she’d let loose a time or two. But those emotional eruptions had been natural outcroppings of her hurt and anger. They’d been real. Railing at him in person, trying to get him upset enough to incriminate himself in a case for which he hadn’t even been charged, would be a different story.
Would her acting skills be up to the task?
She didn’t see how they could be. She’d never been a good liar. And Gordon knew her so well. Part of her feared he already suspected that she was trying to help the police or he wouldn’t have stopped calling since she brought up Emma Ventnor. She hadn’t
even received a letter from him since they last talked, and her mail had certainly had time to forward from her old address. It’d been over a week since his last call...
She’d mentioned her concerns to Detective Sullivan, but he said she was jumping at shadows. Sullivan believed Gordon was just playing it safe, that he thought he could get off for the rapes (he had acted confident when she’d spoken to him on the side of the road Sunday before last) but was afraid if he was ever connected to Emma Ventnor’s disappearance he’d be looking at prison for the rest of his life, because he would be.
Savanna could see Gordon pulling back for those reasons, could see why he might not want her to bring up the subject again. But it was also possible his silence had nothing to do with Emma Ventnor. He could be angry that she’d “abandoned” him and gone so far as to file for divorce. Talking to her had to be upsetting, after all.
With a sigh, Savanna poured herself a glass of wine and sat staring at the burgundy-colored liquid. With the kids in bed, the house was quiet. Too quiet. If she wasn’t obsessing over what she had to do next week, she was thinking about Gavin, which wasn’t a whole lot easier. She hated how cautious and circumspect he was acting. It was almost as if he was afraid to get too close to her. And yet she couldn’t help admiring him for making the welfare of an innocent child his top priority.
When she finished her wine, she poured herself another glass. She liked Silver Springs, but living in the country could get lonely. She’d had so little interaction with others since she came here. Just Gavin. And that had turned out to be too intense. She needed to make an effort to meet people, to get out more now that she was settled into her new place. The kids needed the opportunity to make friends, too, so that their lives could return to normal as much as possible.
Tomorrow they’d meet Gavin’s family. She had to admit she was looking forward to that, to having a legitimate reason to be in his company again. But Savanna wasn’t sure becoming so familiar with his world would prove to be a good thing. She was having a hard enough time putting her relationship with him into perspective.
