Right Where We Belong

by Brenda Novak

  “Are you sure you’re ready to talk about the past?” she asked. “I’d like to understand what you went through, but it doesn’t have to be tonight. Tonight’s already been rough.”

  He led her up the beach a bit, where they didn’t have to worry about getting hit by the spray, and pulled her down next to him in the soft sand, which still radiated some heat from earlier in the day. “There’s not a lot to tell,” he said. “My stepmother was the problem, but I blame my father for not stepping in.”

  Savanna crossed her legs and listened attentively as he told her about his real mother dying when he was two and his stepmother coming into his life at four. He couldn’t remember much of what happened when Diana first married his father, but he definitely remembered the details of the day a year later when he came out of the restroom at the public park to find his stepmother gone. He also remembered how terrified he’d been when a policeman took him home, knowing, as Gavin did, that she wouldn’t be happy to see him. He said the beating he took a few days later was for “making a mess,” but he’d always known it had nothing to do with the toys he’d left on the floor. She’d exploded because she didn’t want him there.

  Savanna removed her shoes and dug her toes in the sand. “Do you think you’ll ever want your father back in your life?”

  He hesitated as if that wasn’t an easy question to answer. “He’s called me a few times,” he said at length.

  “And? What’d he say?”

  “Not much. I hang up as soon as he identifies himself.”

  “Why do you think he’s reaching out?”

  Gavin leaned back, resting the bulk of his weight on his hands as he stared off, across the water. “To apologize. At least, that’s how he starts the conversation. But he’s far too late for that. I’m not interested.”

  She listened to several more waves wash up on the beach, marked the foaming surf as coming closer to them, which told her the tide was rising. “What about the foster family who took you in? Do you have any contact with them?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “They were so fanatical. We never connected.”

  “Fanatical in what way?”

  “They belonged to this religious cult where just about everything was a sin.”

  She listened to how difficult he’d found it to fit in with a family who looked at every joy in life as a temptation to be conquered, how, in an attempt to find others he could identify with, he’d eventually fallen in with the wrong crowd at school despite his foster parents’ disapproval—or maybe because of it—and started ditching classes and getting into fights. Pretty soon, he was such an embarrassment to his foster family that the money they received to care for him wasn’t enough incentive to allow “Satan” a place in their home. So they gave him back to the state, at which point he’d been sent to New Horizons.

  “Did your foster family have any other kids?”

  “They thought they couldn’t have children. Maybe that’s why they decided to foster. But then they wound up having biological twin girls, nine years younger than me.”

  “How’d they turn out?”

  “I only lived with them for seven years, so the girls weren’t that old when they sent me away. They were indoctrinated young, though. I’m guessing they turned out just like their parents.”

  “You don’t know?”

  “I haven’t been in touch since I once again became a ward of the state.”

  Savanna thought it was heartbreaking that none of the people from his early years had tried to stay in contact. “It’s amazing that you’ve turned out to be such a great person. How’d you overcome all of the rejection and grief?”

  Not once had she heard him use his background as an excuse the way Gordon had so many times...

  “Aiyana,” he said simply. “I owe her a lot.”

  “She was able to heal what was broken inside you.”

  “The love she offered me did that.”

  “How could anyone not love you?” she asked.

  He leaned forward to push the hair out of her face. They’d been so careful not to get physical since that crazy encounter against his truck, had been trying desperately to slow things down so they could be sure they weren’t making a mistake. There were too many beleaguered hearts to take into consideration—hers and her kids’, Gavin’s, even Heather’s. But they’d moved beyond hesitancy and fear to a sense of surety and commitment. “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for.”

  As his lips touched hers, Savanna thought maybe the past few months had all been worth it if they’d been leading to this magical moment. “I’m so glad I found you,” she murmured when he lifted his head, and she felt Gavin press her back onto the sand as he slid his hand up under her dress.

  * * *

  The wind rippled through Gavin’s open shirt as he drove into Savanna. He’d never felt so wild and free, so victorious. He wasn’t sure why that particular word would come to mind, but he couldn’t think of a better way to describe the exhilaration he was feeling. His soul seemed to be soaring over the beach, the ocean, the whole earth. He didn’t have the answers for the myriad problems they’d likely face. He was aware of all the challenges that could come. But he’d answered the biggest question of all, finally understood the fierceness of Eli’s love for Cora. Maybe that was the victory. He’d found that same rare, once-in-a-lifetime love, knew who he wanted to share the rest of his life with.

  He couldn’t make out Savanna’s expression. His body blocked the moonlight, casting her face in shadow. But he could feel her beneath him, could hear her breathing escalate as the pleasure built. Demonstrating what they were feeling physically came as a natural conclusion to the evening, but they’d held off touching each other for so long that it also provided a much-needed release.

  “You’re still on the pill, right?” he muttered as soon as he felt her shudder her climax beneath him. He was free to let go, but he wanted to come inside her and stay inside her for as long as possible.

  She responded by tightening her legs around his hips so that he couldn’t pull out, and that was all it took to throw him over the edge. He groaned as that familiar wave of ecstasy started in his groin and sent a wave of goose bumps throughout his body.

  After some time, he dropped beside her. “Any chance you’ll reconsider going to Nephi?”

  She started righting her clothes, and he did, too. It was unlikely anyone would come strolling down the beach at this hour, but it was a possibility. “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “I don’t want to do anything to draw Gordon’s attention back to you. Why provoke him?”

  “Because of Emma, remember?”

  “I feel bad for that girl. I do. But she’s probably dead, Savanna.” He knew that was an entirely practical approach—probably a selfish one, too. But Savanna was the person he most wanted to keep safe. “You’re what matters to me.”

  She smoothed the hair from his face. The tie had fallen out while they were making love. “If I don’t get something else on him, something more than the police have now, he could get out of jail, Gavin. Going to Utah and getting him to implicate himself is the best way to protect against that.”

  He rolled onto his back and let his breath go in a long exhale as he stared up at the sky.

  “I have to do it,” she added, and he didn’t say anything because he knew it was true.

  27

  Savanna was embarrassed when they returned to pick up her kids. It was nearly four-thirty in the morning, and the bar had closed at two. But Aiyana didn’t seem to mind having her sleep interrupted at such an ungodly hour. She seemed as pleasant as ever when, wearing a robe, she let them in. “Did you have a nice time?”

  “It was wonderful,” Savanna said.

  “I’m glad.” Gavin’s mother came off a
s sincere, and yet there was something about her smile that seemed to suggest she knew Savanna hadn’t been referring strictly to the show. Had she spoken with too much enthusiasm? Was her hair mussed despite the number of times she’d combed her fingers through it?

  Savanna cleared her throat. “I hope the kids were good for you.”

  “They were wonderful.”

  Gavin was busy carrying a sleeping Branson to the truck. Branson had been afraid he’d wet the bed, but Gavin gave her a quick shake of his head to signal that he hadn’t. Thank goodness. Savanna had been worried for him, hadn’t wanted him to be embarrassed. “Thank you for watching them,” she told Aiyana. “I can’t tell you how much we appreciate it.” She realized she’d spoken as if she and Gavin were a couple and quickly corrected herself. “How much I appreciate it.”

  “It was an excellent opportunity to get to know them better.” Aiyana touched her arm. “Maybe you and I can go to lunch one day so that I can get to know you better, too.”

  “I’d like that.”

  After Gavin returned from depositing Branson in the truck, he offered his thanks and dropped a kiss on Aiyana’s cheek before scooping up Alia.

  “Your mother knows what we did on the beach tonight,” Savanna said as they were pulling away.

  He didn’t seem overly concerned, but he did seem curious. “Why do you say that?”

  After mumbling a few words, enough to show they were aware they’d been picked up, Branson and Alia had gone back to sleep.

  “I don’t know...” She pictured the knowing expression on Aiyana’s face. “That’s the impression she gave me.”

  “Does it upset you that she might think we’ve been intimate?”

  “Considering the situation with Heather, it makes me self-conscious.”

  “She didn’t seem upset...”

  “No. I’d say she was amused. That’s the strange thing.”

  He started to laugh. “Then I was right.”

  “About...”

  “She never liked Heather.”

  Savanna loosened the chest restrainer on her seat belt so that it wouldn’t choke her. “Why not?”

  “She’s never admitted it, so I don’t know.”

  Savanna frowned as they rolled under the arch at the entrance to the ranch. “What if she doesn’t like me? She means so much to you.”

  “We have plenty of things to worry about, but that isn’t one of them. I can tell that she likes you already.”

  “She seems to really like Cora,” she mused.

  “She does. And for good reason. I’ll have to tell you that story sometime.” He reached over to take her hand. “But not tonight. Tonight has been eventful enough. For now, let’s just take my mother’s behavior as a good sign.”

  * * *

  The following morning, Aiyana felt like she was walking on air as she made herself some breakfast and sat down to call Eli. “Hey, I know you hear from me enough during the week,” she said as she stirred a splash of cream into her coffee. “So I try not to bother you too much on the weekend. But I wanted to tell you something.”

  “Cora and I don’t mind hearing from you whenever. You know that. But what’s going on?”

  The bougainvillea blooming on the trellis beyond the window caught her eye. She stared out at it while she talked. “I think you were right about Savanna.”

  “In what way?”

  “She might be the one thing that could save Gavin from making a drastic mistake.”

  “You mean marrying a woman he doesn’t love.”

  She set her spoon on her saucer. “Exactly.”

  “Why do you say that? Has something changed? Is he seeing her?”

  “He must be. Last night, I babysat so that he could take her to his performance in Santa Barbara.”

  “How nice of you.”

  “I enjoyed it. But this is the thing—they got back very late, long after the bar had to have closed, so I’m guessing they made good use of the time.”

  Eli chuckled. “Another good sign.”

  She added sugar to her coffee. “So I’m relieved on two counts.”

  “You were afraid he wouldn’t be happy with Heather. I know that was number one. What’s the other thing?”

  “I thought I might be the type of jealous mother where no woman is good enough.”

  “I remember. But you’re in the clear?”

  She considered how sweet, calm and grateful Savanna was. “Completely. I’m excited about this girl.”

  “You don’t know her all that well...”

  “I don’t, but Gavin’s happier when she’s around. That’s all I needed, the sense that he’s following his heart.”

  “There’s still the situation with Heather. If she’s carrying Gavin’s baby, you’re going to want to be a big part of the child’s life, and having him get with Savanna won’t make that any easier.”

  “I’ll do everything I can to love and support any child he has—except encourage him to marry a woman he doesn’t love. He and Heather tried to make it work several times. To me, that’s enough.”

  “I agree with you. That’s why I wanted to put him and Savanna together to see what would happen. But don’t get your hopes up too high. There’s no guarantee he’ll wind up with her long-term.”

  “I’m not so sure about that.” She smiled before taking a sip of her coffee. “I feel like this is the one.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  There was a satisfying click as she set her cup on its saucer. “There’s just something different about the way he looks at her.”

  “If he marries Savanna and Heather has his child, you could get three grandchildren almost at once.”

  Aiyana lifted her cup again. She could think of worse things. “I’ll take as many grandkids as I can get.”

  * * *

  Gavin spent the weekend with Savanna, working on her house. The dry rot was more extensive than he’d first realized, but he enjoyed tearing off the old, ruined boards and replacing them. Savanna was always around to offer something to eat, put on some music or hand him a hammer, and the kids loved to help. Especially Branson. He followed Gavin almost everywhere. Even if Gavin climbed a ladder, Branson would stand at the base for however long, playing with the tools in Gavin’s toolbox. He seemed so happy that it took Gavin by surprise when, finished affixing a new piece of trim to an exterior window, he happened to look down and saw Branson staring off toward the barn with a melancholy expression on his face.

  “Somethin’ wrong?” Gavin asked.

  Once Branson realized Gavin was paying attention, his expression cleared. “No.”

  Gavin tossed his hammer into his toolbox. “You looked sad there for a minute.”

  Branson shaded his eyes as he looked up. “Do you know my dad?”

  Gavin glanced around to see if Savanna was nearby. If Branson was going to talk about Gordon, he preferred Savanna guide the conversation, but she’d already taken Alia in the house to start dinner. “No, I’ve never met him. Why?”

  “He doesn’t like tattoos.”

  “He’s mentioned that?”

  “Yeah.”

  “He must not have any, then.”

  “He doesn’t. He doesn’t like boys to have long hair, either.”

  “Did he tell you why?”

  “He said boys who want to look like girls are stupid.”

  “What do you think?”

  “I don’t think you can tell if they’re stupid just from their hair.”

  Gavin laughed. “I’d have to agree with you there. Hair is a personal preference, right? People should be able to wear their hair however they want. As far as I’m concerned, tattoos are the same. They might tell you a little about what someone likes, but they don�
�t tell you whether they’re smart or dumb—or good or bad, for that matter.”

  “Yeah. I think that, too,” he said. “I’m going to get a tattoo when I turn eighteen.”

  “Of what?”

  “Maybe it’ll be a picture of Spider-Man,” he said. “And if my dad doesn’t like it, I don’t care. I don’t like what he’s done, either.”

  Gavin crouched down so they could be on the same level. “I know what’s happened to you has been rough, bud. I had some bad stuff happen to me, too, when I was close to your age.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. Have you ever heard the story Hansel and Gretel?”

  He nodded solemnly.

  “I had a mean stepmother like that one.”

  “Did she send you into the forest?”

  “No. She left me at the park and drove away.”

  “And she didn’t come back?”

  “No.”

  His eyes widened. “Where did you sleep?”

  “The police came and took me home, but she didn’t want me, so they took me away again.”

  Branson seemed stunned. “To jail?”

  “To an orphanage. That’s where kids go when they don’t have parents, right?”

  “What happened to your dad?”

  “He was afraid she’d leave him, so he did nothing.”

  “He didn’t come get you?”

  “No. After a while, I went to live with a foster family. Do you know what a foster family is?”

  He shook his head.

  “It’s a family that lets you live with them for a while.”

  “How long?”

  “I was there seven years, until I turned fourteen.”