Bewilder (The Kaleidoscope Album Book 2)

by Oakley, Bryce

  She exchanged her details with Angela, then created a fake email address for "Susannah." It felt extremely entrepreneurial to pretend to be her own agent.

  The contract was finalized within a day. The monetary amount wasn't life-changing, but it was still impressive, but then again, she'd be expected to be featured in five five-minute segments for an entire week between Christmas and New Year's Eve.

  The next day, an editor at a publishing house reached out to discuss potentially signing her for a book deal –– they'd start by creating a book out of her existing blog posts with updates, and then the second book would be fresh material not readily available online.

  Isla had acted as her agent in that call, and had managed to get her a meeting in New York when she'd be there the following week.

  It seemed that all at once, everything was coming together.

  Sabrina sat on the couch, nursing her third glass of wine. It was late. Nearly three in the morning. She couldn’t sleep, but she hadn’t slept well for days.

  She looked down at her phone. It had been a week since she'd spoken to Domino.

  Zoey had said she wanted to stay out of it, given her track record with encouraging the wrong person to pursue love.

  She opened her messages, scanning to the last text Domino had sent on the night of their fight.

  Domino: Be there in an hour, then. Can't wait to see you!

  She'd even used a kissy face emoji.

  Sabrina groaned.

  She knew deep down that she had pushed Domino too fast into something that scared her.

  She typed out a message, then deleted it. Then she typed out another and stared down at it.

  "What are you doing awake?" Isla asked, popping up out of nowhere. She was in her pajamas, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

  "Nothing," Sabrina said, quickly putting away her phone.

  Her phone made the annoying whoosh sound of a sent text message.

  "Son of a motherless goat," she said, panicking to look down at her phone.

  She had done it. She had sent the flipping message.

  Her stomach dropped in total horror.

  "What'd you do?" Isla asked skeptically.

  Sabrina showed her the phone, burying her face in her hand, then she held the wine glass up to chug the rest of its contents.

  Sabrina: I'm going to NYC tomorrow for a thing. I'll be there for Christmas. It would mean the world to me if you joined me. We can watch the ball drop on NYE! From inside. NYC seems too ducking cold for the whole Time’s Square thing.

  Isla sucked in air through her teeth. "Wow. I think you're the only person who sends drunk texts that long. And also the only person who ever says ducking on purpose," she said.

  Sabrina cringed. "People say ducking on accident?" She asked, setting her wine glass down on the table.

  "Well, I guess we'll see what she says back. In the meantime, let's get you a glass of water," Isla said, not trying very hard to hide a laugh.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Domino

  The days dragged on, as though Domino was perpetually walking in sand.

  She saw Sabrina in everything. Sabrina was in her entire house –– she couldn't even brush her teeth without staring down at the toothbrush holder Sabrina had chosen.

  Sabrina needed something that Domino wasn't prepared to give her. She had to accept that. They both had to accept that.

  Domino wasn't the settling down type. She could never picture herself with a wife, two kids, a Collie.

  She didn't even like Collies.

  And yet, when she pictured Sabrina, she pictured all of their most boring times. She didn't picture dancing in the club or going to events and parties. She pictured sitting on the couch watching Netflix or laughing over dinner at home. Sitting in the car and reaching over to hold Sabrina's hand in the passenger seat.

  That feeling of comfort when she came home and Sabrina was there.

  "Are you just going to sit alone all night?" Julia asked.

  Domino looked up from her glass. "Yes," she said, scowling.

  They were at the bar –– not the one that she had been to with Sabrina, because she thought that might be too painful. It was a random bar that they frequented often. They always got free drinks.

  Julia had texted her that night, asking for a night out. And who was Domino to refuse?

  Mostly, she had gone out to distract herself from the overwhelming loneliness of being at home alone, staring at Sabrina's things.

  "You are such a downer right now," Julia said.

  Domino finished the rest of her drink in one gulp. "Sorry," she said. She looked over her friend, who really only called her when she wanted to go out somewhere, as though Domino was an accessory, not a confidant.

  "So, is it true you were dating that woman?" Julia asked.

  "We were just friends," Domino lied.

  Julia laughed. "Yeah, I can see that," she said. "Come on. Only way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

  Domino cringed at the saying. She couldn't imagine herself sleeping with anyone at the moment. And even that was a revelation –– since when had she not been able to imagine herself sleeping with someone?

  Well, except for Sabrina.

  She shook her head to clear the thought.

  "Let's go dance in that sweaty mess of people," Julia said, tugging her arm to get onto the dance floor.

  Domino followed, trying to get lost in the rhythm.

  What once was her sanctuary now provided no relief. She almost cringed when another person started dancing too close to her. She didn't want to be touched, which was a brand new feeling.

  "I'm going to head out," she called out to Julia.

  Julia gave her a pouty frown. "Alright, but I want you to be in much better spirits next time I see you."

  Domino saluted and made her way out of the dance floor. She pulled out her phone and saw a message from Sabrina.

  Sabrina was going to New York. As she started reading it, a phone call interrupted, taking over the screen. It was Meg.

  "Hey, where are you?" Meg said as soon as Domino accepted the call. "Wanna get drunk and feel sorry for ourselves and longboard at the beach?”

  They headed straight for the Strand, the smooth path that ran the length of the beach. It was late... or maybe it was early. Was 3am late or early?

  Meg laughed beside her as they both pushed their boards as fast as they could toward one end of Hermosa Beach. They rarely went as far north as Manhattan Beach, but Domino guessed they were close to the invisible border between the two.

  The wind pushed Domino's hair out of her face as she flew down the paved path. She used to think that surfing was the closest she ever got to flying, but maybe this was closer. She closed her eyes and immediately skidded off the path, flying in the sand.

  "Careful," Meg chided. She was holding a bottle of Jack in her hand. She laughed, helping Domino stand back up and brush off.

  How had Domino ever persuaded Meg to get a little wild with her?

  Wait, it was Meg's idea.

  Everyone else around her was so reasonable. They gave her the same sympathetic smiles when she explained her problems.

  Meg hadn't been that way about Sabrina. Meg always told it to Domino straight. She never sugarcoated things for Domino's feelings, and Dom respected that about her. Sabrina and Domino wanted different things. There was no fixing what Domino had broken.

  Domino stepped off her board. "Meghan Koo, party animal extraordinaire," she said with a grin.

  Meg passed her the bottle. "Not always. But I figured I couldn't let you get arrested alone," she said, giggling.

  Domino took a swig from the bottle. The liquor burned her mouth and throat as it went down, expanding as it warmed her belly. They were breaking about five different laws, and yet, she didn't care. The lap of the waves on the pilings below the pier was rhythmic and soothing. They'd have been playing on the pier if there weren't giant gates keeping it closed.

  Sh
e closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, smelling the salt and wet sand in the air.

  "Meg, I'm like a bird," she started to explain.

  Meg laughed. "Okay, chill out, Nelly Furtado," she said, snorting.

  "No, I mean, maybe I'm just not meant to ever be tied down," Domino said.

  Meg raised a skeptical brow but didn't say anything.

  "Maybe I'm a one hit wonder," Domino said, leaning on the railing.

  "We are not one hit wonders," Meg said.

  "Maybe I just wrote Heart's Content and I'm not going to ever be good at anything else," Domino groaned.

  Meg pulled out her phone, reading something on the screen.

  "Wait, why did you want to feel sorry for yourself tonight?" Domino asked, turning to Meg.

  Meg furrowed her brow. "Oh, forget about that," she said.

  "Tell me," Domino said, tugging on Meg's arm impatiently.

  Meg rolled her longboard with one foot. "Well, there's this girl," she began.

  "A girl!" Domino exclaimed in excitement. In all her years, she had never known Meg to date anyone. Meg was a gorgeous, funny girl, but she was painfully shy with women, to the point of sprinting in the other direction every time.

  "Shut up," Meg chided.

  "Tell me about her," Domino insisted, sitting down on top of her board.

  "Well, I'm not sure she's into me," Meg said, sitting beside her and swigging from the bottle.

  "Oh my god, is it me ?" Domino said, holding a hand to her heart.

  Meg stared down at her in disbelief. "What? No. Gross, dude. You are not my type," Meg said, laughing and shoving on her shoulder.

  Domino's board scooted a few inches with the shove. "Okay, I just wanted to make sure before I gave you advice," Domino said, shaking her head.

  "I got her number recently and I finally got the courage to text her and she never messaged me back," Meg said.

  "When did you message her?" Domino asked.

  They passed the bottle back and forth as they talked.

  "This afternoon," Meg said with a heavy, dramatic sigh.

  "You know what we should do?" Domino said. "We should throw our phones into the ocean."

  "That's littering," Meg said.

  "Okay, let's throw our phones away in a designated trash receptacle then, rule-follower," Domino said. She glanced to where a trash can sat about five yards away.

  "Don't be silly," Meg said. "We are not throwing our phones away, ocean or bin."

  “I am! I'm throwing something away that no longer serves me," Domino insisted, her voice modulating into a serene monotone just like the guided meditations she had been listening to. “I always hold onto things for way too long. I’m letting the Carebear go.”

  "Dom, don't," Meg said, trying to catch her by the arm as she stood up. “That’s a very expensive Carebear.”

  She walked over to the trash can and fished her phone out of her pocket, throwing it in the bin. It hit the bottom with a loud, metallic thunk. She felt instant relief, as though a weight had just been lifted off her shoulders.

  “Ah, the relief! Meg, you should throw yours away!" She said with a giggle.

  "Absolutely not, you idiot," Meg scolded.

  Two figures appeared silhouetted on the path near them.

  "Fuck," Domino whispered, pointing as she crouched down, hurrying back to where Meg sat. She was too drunk to deal with the lifeguards or people who wanted to mug her.

  "Oh, it's fine. I asked them to come," Meg said, waving at the figures who were walking towards them.

  "You called the police ?" Domino hissed.

  Meg laughed. "No, I called Billie and Zoey. Well, texted."

  "Billie?" Domino said incredulously. That could be even worse than the lifeguards.

  Domino could make out the sound of heeled boots. Yep, that was Zoey. The two women walked up to where they sat.

  "Well, well, well," Billie said, then she sat down in front of the pair and grabbed the bottle of Jack to take a swig.

  Domino stared at her, impressed. "Why are you here?" She asked.

  "You," Billie said.

  "I'm fine," Domino said defensively, taking the bottle out of her hand.

  Zoey kneeled down. "We're all messes, babe. It's okay," she said.

  "Is this an intervention?" Domino asked. She eyed the three women sitting in front of her.

  "No, it's more like, we miss you and the band and we want to work things out before we all fuck It up," Zoey explained.

  "I really miss the band," Billie said. Her brow furrowed and she took a long pull from the Jack before passing the bottle to Zoey.

  "Me too," Meg said quietly.

  "Well, I do, too, but I'm just having trouble writing. Meg helped a lot, but the songs I'm writing aren't... they're..." Domino searched for the word.

  "Lacking something?" Billie asked.

  Domino nodded solemnly. "Maybe I've lost my touch."

  "Or maybe you just need more input on them," Zoey said. Her thick curls glowed in the low lamplight as she shifted them out of her face. "We're all here together, you know."

  Domino nodded, her throat thick and tight with emotion. "I think that would be fun," she said.

  Billie reached over and put a hand on Domino’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  "We just thought you didn't need help," Zoey added. "But we're all game to write together."

  "I miss our bus," Meg said softly, the liquid of the bottle sloshing around in her hand.

  "You hated the bus," Billie said, laughing.

  "Okay, let me rephrase. I hated the bus, but I loved time with you guys," Meg added.

  Zoey giggled, holding a hand to her mouth. "Remember when Billie outlawed card games after she lost so badly that one night?"

  Domino's shoulders shook with silent laughter, the memory of Billie nearly flipping the table –– which was bolted to the ground, thankfully –– after losing the game Hand and Foot so badly.

  "Y'all were cheating," Billie said, pressing her mouth into a thin line.

  "Sure, babe, whatever helps you sleep at night," Zoey said, nodding.

  Meg laughed. "Oh god, and she stomped down the aisle and tried to slam the curtain of her bunk shut."

  Domino and Zoey roared with laughter.

  Billie gawked at the three of them. "You assholes," she said, laughing.

  A flashlight shone on the four of them as a pair of people approached. "Hey, you, kids," a man said in an authoritative voice. "No loitering." As they walked under a light post, Domino could see that they were a pair of lifeguards.

  Domino shoved the bottle of Jack into Meg's purse as inconspicuously as she could as two men walked up to them. She squinted into the bright light.

  "Oh, I'm so sorry. We were just leaving," Billie said in her very feminine, Professional Adult voice.

  Domino stared at her with wide eyes, her heart pounding. She hoped Billie could Adult them out of this one.

  "If I see you here again, I'm writing you a ticket," the lifeguard said.

  Could they even write tickets? Domino stifled a laugh.

  The four of them stood up, dusting off their pants and walking as quickly as they could away to avoid the lifeguard noticing that they weren't sixteen-year-old teen rebels. Domino held her longboard under her arm.

  "Have a nice night, sir," Billie said with a small wave and they hurried back onto the Strand. "Stay safe out there."

  Zoey groaned. "Wow, B, lay it on thick," she teased, pushing Billie's shoulder.

  Domino slung an arm around Meg's shoulders. "Feeling better?" She asked.

  "Meg, what's wrong?" Billie asked, overhearing.

  "Domino threw away her phone," Meg said quickly, and Domino could tell she was just trying to get the spotlight off of her.

  The group came to a halt on the plaza in front of the bars and cafes that lined the area.

  "You did what ?" Billie asked.

  Domino blinked. "I don't even remember why I did that," she said, laughin
g and shaking her head.

  Zoey burst into giggles. "Oh, you drunk, heartbroken idiot," she said, shaking her head.

  Domino awoke, the sun too bright and her mouth too dry. Meg and Zoey had slept in the guest bedroom after they'd gotten home, and Billie had shown up early with coffee and pastries.

  They were going to have their first full-band writing session.

  Domino was equal parts nervous and excited.

  After popping some pain killers, Domino grabbed her guitar and sat on the couch.

  Over the next few hours, she played them a few songs she had started, and the three others were keen to add on or change as they wanted. Meg had her drum machine in her lap, Zoey borrowed Dom's keyboard, and Domino and Billie sat with acoustic guitars.

  They recorded new parts on their phones.

  Well, except for Domino, who was without a phone, currently.

  Domino noticed that Billie was taking a step back from any hard-and-fast decision-making –– her typical managing style. She watched her sister listen intently to Meg and Zoey's opinions, and felt a burst of pride about her newfound joint-writing style.

  "Do you think we could have some things to show Micah in like, two weeks? Even just rough demos of a few songs?" Billie asked. Micah was their manager. She mainly dealt with Billie, the responsible adult of the group.

  Meg and Zoey nodded confidently.

  "Yeah, I think we have a really good start on about three or four," Meg said.

  "Well, even with New Year’s coming up in... oh, well, tomorrow –– you'd never guess, given how you didn’t decorate for Christmas this year," Zoey started.

  “It’s just blasphemous to not have a Christmas tree still up for New Year’s Day,” Meg said, nodding and looking around the room. “And also for February first.”

  Zoey laughed, rolling her eyes.

  Domino hadn't decorated since her house was going to be in the magazine, but she also didn't care enough to decorate after the breakup with Sabrina, either.

  Domino grinned. The four of them had come up with some awesome ideas already. Things she would have never considered trying on her own. She found herself feeling more excited for the upcoming album than she had in a long time.