Only Skin Deep

by Mahalia Levey

“I’m worried about you. Normally you’re like the sleeping dead. Not last night. Where did you go? I waited for you to make dinner, but got hungry. So I ate without you and then took another nap. I can’t get used to this having no energy thing.”

  “Donato needed to see me.” Derek brushed his lips against her nape, his hands inching under her nightshirt to mold her breasts. He made her hot, her nipples beaded up. She offered no resistance, welcoming his touch on her body, melting into him.

  Can’t get much better than lazy morning sex. Hard muscle pulsated against her belly. She reached under the band of his boxers, in a teasing move. His cock jumped at her slight touch. “I want you so bad.”

  Derek edged her panties down with one hand while she worked to remove his boxers, careful not to hurt him. He sprung out full mast into her hand. She would never get enough of the thick girth and long length of him. Her mouth watered for a taste. Deja placed her finger over his mouth, halting him from talking. With a wicked smile, she moved down the bed, giving herself a close up view. He groaned when she fisted him in her hand and stroked, covering the crown of his cock with her mouth. Using teasing pulls, she suckled, and flattened her tongue around his cock before encasing him down her throat.

  “Babe, fuck that’s good.” Derek pushed his hips up, forcing her to relax her throat.

  She loved making him crazy, bringing him close, the look on his chiseled face, sexy mused hair and deep blue eyes locking with hers for one moment all because of the power she held over him. Giddy from pleasing him made her empty pussy contract. Giving oral tended to make her dripping wet, knowing if she wanted a stream of cum shot down her throat she could force him to lose control and he’d be powerless to stop her. Instead she took her time, enjoying seeing him battle for control, the one thing he refused to give totally up.

  Deja allowed herself one last slow suck, and then rose, moving over him, holding him at the core of her sex. She pressed down, fullness settling over her as she came to rest at the base of his cock with a soft groan of pleasure, biting her lip when his fingers bit into her hips.

  “Move Deja.” Derek’s gruff tenor spurred her into motion, setting the pace for a hard ride. He rose up, taking a peaked nipple into his mouth. Deja flexed her sex , and slowly slid over and on him, her move brought her breast fully to his mouth giving him leave to do his worst. He was all things sinew and power, strength exuded off him. She took him into her body with jarring jolts the faster he slapped her ass, and then smoothed away the sting with a gentle touch. Her pussy ached. When he flipped them over taking control she wrapped her legs around him, holding on for the ride of her life. Derek caged her with his hulking form, making her feel so tiny, a feeling she loved, made her feel more feminine. He slammed home. Cursed and stilled.

  “I’m sorry love, did I hurt you?”

  “I’m pregnant not fragile. Trust me love, we’re okay. Will be better than that if you engage again.” She flexed her vaginal walls around him and bucked her hips up.

  Derek blanketed her body, flush to his, bracing on his forearms, in a move taking him as deep as he could go, rocking. Deja’s jaw locked, he felt so good. His breath came out in even hisses with each long drive. She dug her nails into his back. He pressed kisses along her nape, up the slope of her neck, jaw and lips. She parted for him, giving him leave to plunder with the same intensity he made love. Her body ignited, went lax, her pussy quivered, the sensitivity too much to bear. She let out a scream in his mouth as her body splintered into a million pieces, stealing her breath. He breathed life back into her while rebuilding a blinding tension until she couldn’t take any more. He brought her over the edge again. Derek was close, she felt his cock strain rock hard and jerk to fill her with jets of cum. The smell of sex lingered in the air around them as he came to a stall within her. Deja wrapped her arms around him, anchoring their bodies together.

  “I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

  “I know. I just want you to stay in me.” She kissed his sweat drenched skin and gazed into his passionate face. “I love you so much I’m afraid my heart will explode sometimes.”

  “I love you too Deja. So much I’d love to keep showing you over and over again, so you know I’m not going anywhere, that there’s no obstacle that will ever separate us.” Derek rolled them to their sides to cuddle. She placed her hand on his face, stroking his stubbly jaw.

  “I’m beginning to believe you mean what you say. You gonna tell me what made you so restless last night?” She waited while he struggled to begin.

  “My real dad went to jail when I was a kid for domestic abuse when I was ten, leaving my mom alone and in debt. Unlike the first time, she didn’t take him back. We were poor, lived on what she brought in. I did what I could until I was old enough to get a job to help. Seeing her tired and sad took a toll. My mom made enough on a nursing salary to provide basic needs but not much more. She met Kain my step-father when I was in my early teens. At first I resented his intrusion. She didn’t need any man, but me. When they married I didn’t make life easy for them. Fought him every step of the way. Our power struggle put a strain on my ma, so much that I made her cry all the time. I hurt her. Kain allowed me to find my place in their lives. He wasn’t easy on me. I resented the hurt I caused but hated even more he was the one to make her smile. When they married, we moved. The difference in where I’d been raised and where he relocated us was night and day.”

  Deja kissed his shoulder, and hooked her leg around his hip as he continued.

  “I eventually made friends. We were inseparable. I became an asset once others saw I excelled at basketball, baseball and soccer. I had more people in my corner than I knew what to do with. They may have had ulterior motives for befriending me, but once we got to know each other, what led us into friendship didn’t matter. That it began out of a teammate brotherhood was so different than my old life. I told them about where I’d lived. To this day I still feel guilty. How they ended up in my old spot two years later, I don’t know. By the time I made it to them they were dead and I was near death’s door minutes later.” Derek stopped speaking. When Deja glanced up into his face, she saw a storm of turbulent emotions surfacing. Grief still latched onto him, she wondered what kept him mourning the past.

  “Someone held a gun to the back of my head. I felt the hammer cock, saw the two bodies of my new friends lying in a pool of blood, their bodies moving until they stilled. The air carried the thick smell of sulfur. The heavy cloud of death surrounded me. I knew I was going to die but my body froze paralyzed by fear. In the background I heard the laughter of the other thugs as they instructed my best friend to pull the trigger already, no witnesses. The perfect gang initiation, only the gun jammed. I knew I had a chance the moment I felt the metal jerk and lock up. Instead of blowing my brains out, I lived. On the ground, I heard their departing footsteps, boots running. Someone called the cops and an ambulance came. I didn’t see who was holding my hand, giving me strength, but after what seemed like forever, the sound of sirens joined the voice telling me to hold on. A good Samaritan saved my life that night.”

  Deja tightened her arms around him, even though she knew no amount of words would bring comfort to him.

  “Patrick, my ex best friend, the boy who shot me, showed up last night. The prison released him early for good behavior and he had the audacity to come ask me for forgiveness. I wanted to kill him so bad for robbing me of friends, a good life, all the pain and suffering I went through to recover while he lived unchanged except behind bars. I had the chance to pull the trigger myself and failed to follow through.”

  “How old were you?” Her question came out in almost a whisper. She knew where his bravery and his disability to trust stemmed from and fell in love with him more. Her soul broke for him and the trials he must’ve went through to recover.

  “Sixteen.”

  “I won’t ever forget the looks on my mother and step-father’s faces when I woke up in recovery months later. They were there for every step of my
recovery. Physical and psychological. I was an emotional mess. Suicidal, angry. I couldn’t talk right, feed myself, or walk. I had to relearn everything as if I was a toddler but in an adolescent body.”

  “That explains the attraction that kept me on edge when we met. You’ve overcome obstacles any normal person would buckle under.” Deja smiled when he snorted and tightened his hold on her. He needed some of her wry humor right then.

  “I thought you liked me for sexual reasons only.”

  “That was to keep you off guard. Sex was just a small part of my infatuation. How long before you were able have a normal life again?”

  “I don’t think I ever was ‘normal’ after what happened. I spent a year in the hospital, another in physical and speech rehab, had a few surgeries. My parents had me homeschooled when I was able to learn at a more accelerated pace. Not one part of the process was easy. Patrick stole years from my life, ones I can’t get back.”

  “How did he find you?”

  “My ma told him where I was.”

  “Why would she—” Deja ran her hand over his chest, placing kisses on him.

  “I think she wanted me to forgive him. He said she had.”

  “Do you believe him?”

  “Yeah. After my drinking problems, she pulled me aside to tell me bitterness and hatred were poisoning my soul. I just couldn’t see it.”

  “Maybe you’re looking at her motive the wrong way. Whatever her reasons are for forgiveness are her own. Forgiving isn’t about him or his need, but about yours. So you can move on. It’s not accepting an apology or righting a wrong. However, an acknowledgement and choice to put your energy to better use than rage.”

  “My mother is going to love you. Kindred. Ya’ll are alike spirits. I’m not ready to forgive him. Last night was the first time I’d seen him since that fatal night. The surrounding scents even returned. The smell of death and fear, vomit, flashes of my dead friends. Feeling all of the same emotions crashing down on me instantly is not something I ever want to happen again. Once was bad enough, attempting to escape unscathed isn’t possible.”

  “I’m just glad you told me. I see things clearer now. Your need to control everything. How you hold yourself away just enough to not connect with others. The way you withdraw and remove yourself emotionally. If anything I’m even more in love with you now.”

  “Are you now?”

  “Mhm. Do you go home to visit often?”

  “It’s hard. I go once a year to see my parents, then on the anniversary of that night. There’s a memorial of my two friends who passed. I go because I promised if I made a hundred percent recovery, I wouldn’t waste my second chance at life. I try to honor them. My parents meet up a few times a year with theirs.”

  “Derek Tresvant you are an amazing man.” She curled her head into the crook of his shoulder and held him.

  “Does that mean you’ll put me out of my misery and shackle yourself to me for life?” Although his voice had a teasing tone, there was an underlying vulnerability within. He bared his soul to her and confronted his past. Deja smiled and answered, “Yes.” Her fiancé must not have believed her because he froze.

  “You didn’t say no.”

  “In the great scheme of things. I couldn’t imagine wanting to spend my life with anyone else. We are having a baby too so that’s added incentive. I’ve been thinking about us a lot and what not being with you would mean for me. I came to the conclusion, sharing you and our child with another woman wouldn’t work. You might make me crazy but I need you too much to be just some sane chick.”

  “That’s good, since I only want you. I’ll have to buy a bigger bed though. You are a total bed hog. A sexy bed hog though, you can near push me out any time. I’ll take the ruthless plunge to the floor,” Derek teased, making her want to pummel him with his own pillow.

  “I do not hog the bed. You know what, it must be a guy thing. Jason said the same thing about Taleena. With Nadja it’s the total opposite. She wakes up crushed under Donato’s arms or legs pinning her down.”

  “Yeah, I can see that. You however, begin on your side tucked into me, then end up diagonal. At least you don’t steal the covers you just stretch out.”

  “In my defense, you have to remember I have siblings and we used to have to share a room, sometimes a bed. I had no space of my own.”

  “Being an only child is not as fun as others think. I missed out on the whole sibling dynamics. But we’ll make up for that, we won’t have our child feeling all alone.”

  “Yeah. I guess you’re right. I love them so much, you know.” She stroked his arm with her hand.

  “Why don’t you keep photos up at your place?”

  “That’s a good question. I have a spot for them and books in a drawer. I have a ton, I could say I never got a chance to display them but that would be a lie.”

  “So?” He locked her leg within his and pulled her further into his embrace. “Talk to me.”

  “We come from different worlds and yet the same, it’s amazing. I just, like my space. Not having to share anything with anyone I don’t want to. That’s why I keep photo albums put away. I like not being surrounded by my family all the time. I do so much all the time, I’m over at my parent’s place more than my own at certain times, so when I go home to my pad, I don’t want to be stared at by pictures of everyone.”

  He didn’t get her reasoning. Hell do I?

  “You are an enigma darlin’. I am going to have a helluva time figuring you out. I hope piecing the unique parts of who you are takes me a lifetime.”

  “Smart ass man.”

  “Smart ass woman.” She rolled her eyes and bit his arm.

  “Might want to watch it, I bite back. Hard.”

  “You wouldn’t hurt a pregnant woman would you?” She totally played the baby card and planned on using it to manipulate circumstances should the need arise.

  “Low blow.”

  “I am so good, I scare myself sometimes.” Lord she’d missed out by keeping him at arm’s length for long. Alone in bed with him, she never wanted to get out. Scary thought that…

  “The candles are almost down to the wire. Good thing too since the dawn’s approaching. When did you get up and light all of those?”

  “When the second transformer blew. I woke up in total black. I’m not fond of darkness. Lucky for me, I’d found a flashlight on your computer desk. I was able to go hunting for some candles.”

  “Yeah. I should’ve told you where the emergency rations were. I have tubs of goodies. Meals Ready to Eat aka. MRE’s, water bottles, blankets, flares, a battery operated radio and high beamed light and a huge first aid kit.”

  “Getting ready for a war?” Deja believed in preparedness, but he was on a whole new level of the term.

  “More like tornados, since you never know.”

  “Yeah, is there even a basement here?” Last year four cells touched down and moved inward converging close. The tornados ate up everything in their path, unrelenting and causing insurmountable damage, deaths and injury. The warning systems only gave so much advance notice, and even then those on the road or in between towns with nothing but wide open space were left at the mercy of Mother Nature.

  “Yes. I’d never own a building in the Midwest without one.”

  “I’ve never really asked you how you began your business. You’re really young to have amassed so much.”

  “After what happened, my mother won a suit against the city for their failure in responding in a timely manner. Shit hit the fan when word of patrol cars and first response vehicles were in the area but didn’t get to us. She won and put the money aside. My step-father made me work my ass off, go to college and if I wanted money for anything I had to do a cost analysis and projected return of interest. I swear he should’ve been a broker instead of a doctor.”

  “So you use what’s been saved when you need capital to flip a business. I always figured older men in their like fifties do what you do. Not someone as young as
you.”

  “There are plenty of young business men who do the same. Some go into business with each other. I don’t trust easy so giving access to my money or money in hold for me didn’t fit in with what I wanted. I have enough set aside that I don’t touch the lawsuit money much now. It gains interest in the bank.”

  “How do you protect the people who work in the companies you buy though? You’re not one of those ruthless tycoons I’ve read about in stories and romance novels. You hear about people being cheated out of their savings.”

  “Depends. I can be ruthless but never to those undeserving. I try to buy buildings and companies that are already stripped. If I somehow come across something I want to flip, I negotiate a tight contract that protects employees, their pay, future and pensions. I just imagine what I’d feel like if my mother or my future wife lost all they’d earned due to a buy out or a company bankrupting to avoid paying those they owe the most to. The upper level executives don’t lose out the most, the ones who do are the undervalued shadows that don’t matter to them. I know how living on a near poverty wage to get from one day to the next or from check to check, robbing Peter to pay Paul feels. It disheartens loyal employees who struggle to pay bills they’re obligated to pay in a timely manner.”

  “To some money is the underlying factor, nothing else matters. Before your accident—I mean what happened to you, what did you think you’d grow up to be?”

  “Pro athlete. I loved basketball and soccer, some baseball. Playing any of those would make a better future for my mom and I. You?”

  “A fashion designer. Until I realized I didn’t have the talent to create as much as an eye for what to buy or how to accent the right outfit with accessories. I enjoy buying and setting up, more than attempting to slave over sewing machines with needles, threads and all the other goodies.”

  “I hear high fashion is a shark eat shark kind of world.”

  “That it is. What I love most is how there’s a chance for anyone who wants to look good, to look smashing. Before me no one around here catered to all income brackets. There’s something rewarding in seeing people dress to the nine’s, knowing they didn’t overextend themselves into debt to do so, or that they didn’t have to use an entire check for one shirt or pair of shoes.”