Pretty Dirty (Beautifully Dirty #4)

by Paige Steele

  Me: I hope you’re right. I’m going to hit the hay though. I have an early flight tomorrow. Thanks for everything, Ans.

  Ansley- K, night. I’ll see you at the race. Both Mads and I will be cheering you on.

  I toss and turn for most of the night. The last time I looked at the clock it was two thirty in the morning, then I must have finally passed out. The next thing I know, the alarm on my phone is playing my favorite country album, Tangled Up by Thomas Rhett.

  Grumbling, I drag my ass out of bed and into the shower. I hear Maddie swearing at the coffee pot; she must be fighting to get it started. I smile at that thought as I step under the water…God, how I love her. She seems to always know how to make me smile and forget my worries. She’s flying out with me today and staying with me while we are in Texas. She said she told Justin too bad, he could go without some nookie for a weekend; it wouldn’t kill him. Though, I guess, he tried to tell her he might actually die without it. I think he’s an ass half the time, but she likes him, so I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

  Walking out of my room, I’m dressed but my hair is still up in a towel. My nose leads the way as I smell coffee and my body needs a cup.

  “Well hello, gorgeous.”

  “Morning, Mads, I didn’t hear you come in last night, or should I say this morning.”

  “Yeah I got in about four hours ago.”

  “Lord, girl, you’re going to be tired today.”

  “Nah, I’m having my fuel now, and then I’ll sleep on the plane if I need to,” she says, lifting up her coffee mug to me.

  “Sounds good. You gonna be ready to go in an hour? It’s six thirty now and we need to leave by seven thirty, or eight at the very latest.

  “Yep, I’ll drag my ass to the shower now.”

  “K, I’m going to go do my hair and make sure I’ve got everything I need.”

  We both start to walk out of the room but then Maddie turns to me, “Hey, Ken…”

  “Yeah?”

  “I hope you kick all the guys’ asses this weekend and prove them wrong. Though most of all, I hope Ryan comes to his senses and stops being a jackass.”

  “Thanks, Mads, I love you girl.”

  “I love you too, Ken.”

  As we both walk away I can’t help but think; I hope I do well too, and I hope Ryan will talk to me after this race is past us.

  Once we land, the manager for the female Honda racing team is there to pick us both up. We all head to the hotel so I can check in, change, and then we’ll be heading back out. I have been scheduled to do a radio interview, and then I need to prepare for press day with the top thirteen riders. That might be the toughest day I will face, as I won’t be able to hide behind my helmet and goggles when I see Ryan. I’m scared to death for our first encounter.

  The day flies by and before I know it, we are pulling into the parking lot of the hotel that is set up to host the press day conference. I take a deep breath right before my manager asks me if I’m ready for this. I assure her that I am. I’ll never let her know that I’m scared as hell right now and it’s not the racing that’s scaring me.

  I barely step inside and our eyes lock on each other. I can’t help but stop dead in my tracks. I want to go to him immediately, but I’m pulled in the opposite direction toward a sponsor that has been waiting to meet me, or so I’m told. I really can’t hear what he’s talking about because I’m trying to figure out where Ryan is and what he is doing. Once we start to walk away, Cooper comes up and gives me a hug. He has no idea how much I need it.

  “Thank you,” I sigh a bit louder than I realize, as he tightens his hold before letting me go.

  “No need to thank me. I know it’s going to be tough for you and want you to know you have someone in your corner.”

  “Again, thank you, Cooper, it means a lot. I always pictured this going a lot differently than this.”

  “It’s going to be okay. But now I can’t wait to see you ride.”

  “Yes, you will be able to see me ride…when you’re following me,” I giggle at him.

  “Dreams…that’s all that is, Ken,” he laughs back.

  We start to wish each other good luck, just as we are instructed to a have a seat in the chair that has been assigned to each of us. I’m sitting at the opposite end of the table from Ryan, which is okay because I don’t want to make it any more awkward than it has to be.

  The interviews start off with Ryan; they ask him how he’s been feeling lately.

  “I’m doing well thank you, getting a couple W’s already has put any doubt I had out of my mind. I’m more than ready to finish this season out with the number one plate on my bike.”

  “He’s got to get through me first,” The KTM rider that has the number one plate from last year, pipes in to say, while smiling over at him.

  “Bring it.” Ryan smiles back.

  Then of course it turns to me, well kind of, as someone asks the guys if they are ready to race against a female. I immediately see Ryan’s body language change; instead of leaning forward with his hands clasped together on the table, he falls back against the back of the chair. One by one the other riders speak, a few showing a lot of support. Of course two of them are Jesse and Cooper, while a few start laughing, saying they aren’t sure I’m ready to race with the big boys. I see the steam coming out of Ryan’s ears as they all speak. I don’t know if he is more pissed at his friends for saying it is okay or the ones laughing at me. I can’t read him.

  Then I am asked if I’m ready to take on the track with some of the best in the world, to which I answer as honestly as I can.

  “I am, or at least I think I am. I’ve never been one to give up, so all I can do is give it my all.”

  I’m a bit irritated as another question comes my way. I don’t know if it is the question itself or the way it is insinuated to me. “You certainly don’t look like a racer, so how will you handle the comments that are going to be thrown at you?”

  “I’ll handle them just fine, thank you. I believe I am a strong woman. I know that I’ve busted my ass, just as much as these guys sitting next to me, so I deserve a chance at proving it.”

  The two guys sitting next to me snicker, and then one says under his breath, “Keep dreaming.” Ryan shoots him a death stare but never looks over at me. I can tell he wants to say something but holds his tongue. But I don’t, I can’t help it, since my secret was out, I no longer will hold back my feelings.

  “What, feeling threatened?” I ask, looking directly at him.

  “Not in the least, sweetheart.” I hear a chair push back and see Cooper grab Ryan’s arm, before he has a chance to stand.

  “Then by all means, please bring all you’ve got to the track tomorrow, and we’ll see who comes out on top,” I say, still not backing down.

  “Oh, you can be on top of me anytime, sweetheart, just not on the track,” he chuckles.

  Cooper is up, yanking back the other rider’s chair in a matter of seconds. He leans in close to him, so his voice doesn’t travel to the microphone, “I’ll say this once, Jackass, don’t and I repeat, don’t ever talk to her or say anything like that again, or I’ll make sure you don’t make to the main. Understand?”

  The guy just looks away from him and starts laughing with the other rider again. As Cooper returns to his seat, I see him pat Ryan on the shoulder, almost as if saying ‘I got your back.’

  The interviews end with another round of questions to all the riders, including myself. As we are walking out, I see Ryan go up to the same rider that was making comments about me. He stands toe-to-toe and head-to-head. I can tell words are exchanged, but I can’t hear anything that is said. There are no smiles spread across their faces as it ends, and Ryan walks away, strolling right past me.

  I am now looking forward to a nice quiet dinner and my bed. Tomorrow is going to be both weird and hard for me. First, I won’t be wearing the little outfit I normally would be, but wha
t I will be wearing is the gear that has been designed just for me.

  Waking up in the morning, I hit the shower; I need a long hot one. Staying a bit too long, there’s a knock to the door. It’s Maddie, wondering if I’m okay.

  “Hey, girl, you good in here?” She peeks her head in the door to talk.

  “Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “It’s fine, just checking on ya. Since you’ve been in there a while, just wanted to make sure you weren’t drowning.” She giggles.

  “Haha! No, I’m not drowning, it’s kinda hard to do in a shower, Mads.”

  “You laugh, but you can die in a cup of water.”

  “Thanks, Maddie, you’re so helpful,” I say, still laughing at her.

  “You’re welcome.”

  The door closes behind her as I shut the water off. Stepping out, I lotion up my entire body; it doesn’t matter if I’ll be racing with the guys, I still need to smell good. I let out a little giggle, thinking I’ll be the only one on the line that will have the scent of vanilla covering them.

  I come out to find breakfast on the cart and Maddie smiling. She knows me well and got all my favorites, knowing that I need to eat to keep my energy high. Sitting down, I start eating while she gets in the shower. She also knows I need some alone time, so the only thing she does, as she passes me and heads to the shower, is kiss my cheek. The gesture is small but the meaning behind it is huge.

  We both arrive together, and I feel overdressed compared to Maddie. She’s decked out in her leather pants and bustier, matched with, of course, her knee high, spike-heeled boots. She’s looking hot as hell. Me on the other hand, well, I’m bringing my racing face today, no makeup with my hair pulled back. I’ve got my sports bra on, black spandex leggings, and my off the shoulder, red Moto Love sweatshirt by 151 Brand. Of course I threw on my black Chucks to go with it.

  Maddie walks with me to my trailer and tent. There stand Ansley and Cooper, both of them smile directly at me and then Jesse walks over.

  “Hey, guys.”

  “Hey, yourself.” Ansley leans in and give me a huge hug.

  “You ready, Kenna?” Cooper asks.

  “I am. As much as you guys train, I do the same. Are you ready to race with a female?” I smile at him.

  “Not worried, a bike’s a bike and a rider is a rider. So, when you’re out there, you’re just another bike to beat.” I know he is trying to make me feel like it’s not a big deal, but in all reality, it is.

  “Thanks, Coop.” We exchange a look of understanding and he winks at me.

  Jesse wishes me good luck as well and assures me that he’s not going to take it easy on me out there on the track. Both of us laugh as he hugs me. They all walk away as I take my place under my tent.

  Since I also am with Honda, my trailer is directly across from Ryan’s, and I watch as he’s being stretched on the table. My bike is the only one under the tent today, and to be honest, it feels a bit lonely. It’s nice to see and have the rest of the female team racing, right along with me. A couple girls I’ve been racing with, for a while, have come out to show their support, which feels good. I can’t thank Kayleigh and Michelle enough for being here and for being more than teammates but friends too.

  I stand talking to them, as I feel a set of eyes burning directly into the side of my face. I glance over, only to meet Ryan’s eyes directly. My breath hitches a bit, due to the look on his face. He’s showing me no emotion, nothing at all, but still I want nothing more than to go to him. I need to explain, until he understands, why I kept this part of my life from him. I’ve also come to realize, that either he supports me or what I thought we had wasn’t real at all.

  Ryan

  Heading up to the starting line for the second heat, I realize that today is going to be one of the hardest days I’ve ever had at a track. My mind keeps traveling back to the one thing I can’t seem get out of it…her.

  I twist back on my throttle as the gates drop, and my eyes are pegged on getting to the first corner and coming out of it cleanly. Cutting in, I take the inside line as a pile up happens to the right of me. Coming out in second is a good position, but one I don’t look to stay in. Heading into the first set of whoops gives me the edge I need, as I skim the top of each of them and glide past the first place rider. The rest of the race is mine to win or lose, and since I have no intention of losing it, there’s only one other option.

  Crossing the finish line jump, I kick my bike out, laying it out sideways, giving the crowd a bit of a show. They love it and cheer louder than ever when a rider does it. As I stop my bike to do the quick interview and I look toward the start line, I spot the red bike with her on it, causing me to stare. Right after my interview with Fox T.V., my mechanic jumps on behind me, and we’re off to the tent together.

  As we get away from everyone, I hear him say next to my ear, “She got off the line good.” He knows me well enough to know that my mind is wondering about her. So as I hear him say the words, my heart finally starts to beat again.

  “Good heat, Bud.” I turn to see my dad standing there.

  “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming,” I say, not holding back the shock in my voice.

  “Looks like I’m right where I need to be.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because you look like you have a lot on your mind. Everything okay?”

  “Yes...no. I don’t know, honestly.”

  “Why, because Kenna’s racing?”

  “Yes and no.”

  “Well, we’ll discuss it after the main. Right now, you need to get your head in the race, so let’s head upstairs and watch your heat.”

  “Cooper’s racing now with her.” I give him the look of concern.

  “You’ll keep us posted, right?” He directs his question to my mechanic, who nods his head at us. Before we head in, we discuss the adjustments I want done to the bike.

  I’m told shortly after we start watching the film of my heat, that Cooper finished first and that Kenna took sixteenth, which will send her to the last chance qualifier, otherwise known at the LCQ. Either she takes first or second in that race, or she’s done and packs up for home.

  Another hour passes before being notified that her race just finished up, and that Kenna made it in, has my emotions in overdrive. I’m not sure if I should be happy for her, or nervous that now she’ll be on the track with the fastest riders out there. It’s a huge deal for her; I’m sure, as she is now the first female ever to have qualified for the main. I know she must be ecstatic.

  My dad and I eat together as the 450 semis and the other LCQ races finish up. Before I know it, it’s time to get on new gear and head back to the gate. Before the race starts, the top riders will be introduced, and then the complete lineup of twenty-two riders will take one parade lap around the track. By doing so, the fans get to see us, but it also gives us a chance to see if there are new lines we may take or just how the entire track is looking.

  I get the number one gate pick. Getting that is key to making sure you have a chance at the holeshot. It’s nice to be handed a check at the end of the night for being the top rider to come out of the first corner. More importantly, it can determine the just how the rest of the race may go for you. Being out in front from the start, of course, is easier than having to fight with the traffic of other riders to get there.

  As the gates drop, I get out of the first turn, but not before I’m wedged between two riders with several in front of me. The holeshot goes to a Yamaha guy and now it’s his race to lose. As I turn the next corner, my bike slips, almost taking me out. Luckily, I was able to steady the bike and continue on through the first set of whoops. Lap after lap, I start to make some passes cleanly to gain more ground on the guys out front. I follow behind for a lap to see where their weaknesses may be and where exactly I should sneak in my pass.

  My mechanic stands with all the others in the area that is solely for them. It’s just off the
track in a straightaway, so they are visible to us riders as we pass by them. I look for my pit board that he’s holding and quickly read it as I fly by. He’s letting me know I’m five and a half seconds behind the leader and sitting in eighth.

  I make the pass by a rider in orange, and then pass a couple more. I know what I need to do and where. The two in front of me have been going back and forth for the last several laps, so it’s just a matter of time before one of them fucks up. And that is exactly what happens. As the guy in third tries to cut to the inside line, in turn number three, he comes in hard and fast and they both go down. I go sailing by, now setting my sights on the guy riding around with the number one on his back, as well as the red number plate.

  We cross the finish with only a bike’s length in between us. I give it all I can but in the end I just can’t catch him. He is on the throttle the entire time. Both of our bikes stop on the other side of the finish line jump; we hit knuckles saying congratulations to each other.

  As we both head over to the podium, I’m not sure who finished third behind us. We stand there when up walks one of the KTM guys, and that answers that question. I stay for the interviews and popping of champagne. As I turn to walk off the stage, I’m stopped dead in my tracks when I see Kenna in the distance with her mechanic, and he’s hugging her. She’s smiling and it’s drawing me to her.

  Her race was before mine, but since I was waiting for mine to start, it didn’t allow me to find out how she did before I took off.

  “She took tenth.” Glancing over my shoulder, I see Cooper next to me. He pats me on the shoulder and starts to walk toward her. He just finished doing interviews since winning the main.

  Fuck! I stand there watching, still not sure what I’m feeling. I don’t know if I’m pissed because she didn’t tell me, or that I looked like an idiot on national T.V. for not knowing who my girlfriend really was. Right now I’m feeling guilty for not going to her; there’s a pit in my stomach that tells me I’m being an asshole.