Wishing for a Miracle

by Alison Roberts

  ‘I’m…inside,’ she relayed. ‘Climbing down.’ She moved as she spoke. Cautiously. Hanging onto the back of a seat frame as her feet found purchase on the cushioned back of the next seat down the vertical aisle. ‘How are those cables looking, mate?’

  ‘Good,’ came the terse response. Mac was concentrating as hard as she was.

  ‘These seats make quite a good ladder.’ Julia kept talking because she wanted Mac to keep responding. She wanted to hear his voice. Maybe she needed to keep hearing it because it gave her more courage than she could ever otherwise summon.

  But when she was halfway down the aisle, the smell hit her. The smell of fear. And she could hear the voices and moans and she knew that within seconds she would be able to speak to and touch these unfortunate people. She could start doing the job she was trained to do and help those who had been plunged into a nightmare they couldn’t deal with alone.

  Julia felt the power that came with the knowledge that she could help and that power gave her complete focus. Knowing that Mac was close gave her strength, yes, but that was simply a platform now. This was it.

  Time to go to work.

  ‘Who can hear me?’ she called, pausing briefly. ‘Keep still but raise your hand if you can.’

  She wanted to count. To find out how many were conscious enough to hear her and physically capable of any movement at all.

  One hand went up tentatively. And then there was another. And another. Six? No, seven. And dim patches where she could see the shape of people but no hands. The less injured people would have to be evacuated first to allow access to the others.

  The woman she’d earlier deemed close to hysteria was still sobbing. ‘Please…’ she called back. ‘Take Carla first. She’s only seven… Please!’

  Julia revised her count to eight. Carla was being clutched too tightly to have raised her hand.

  She climbed closer. The teenage boy with the injured arm was silent but she was close enough to see that his eyes were locked on her progress. Searching for her face. Silently pleading with as much passion as Carla’s mother.

  Julia had to tear her gaze away to try and reassess the number and condition of victims she would be dealing with. To triage the whole scene, but it was difficult. The light had faded even more outside now and it was much darker in here. The light on her helmet could only illuminate a patch at a time and it was like trying to put a mental jigsaw together.

  People were jumbled together. Right now it was impossible to see which limbs belonged to which person or even how many people were in the tangle.

  ‘Get me out!’ A male voice from behind Carla and her mother was loud. ‘I can’t feel my legs. I need help.’

  Julia saw hands come over the seat back behind the still sobbing woman. Good grief, was the man trying to move himself despite possible spinal or neck injuries? Someone beside him groaned and then someone else screamed as the man’s frantic efforts created a shuffle of movement and made the carriage swing alarmingly.

  ‘Stay absolutely still, and I mean everybody!’ Julia injected every ounce of authority she could into the command. ‘Listen to me,’ she continued, her tone softening a little. ‘I know you’re all scared but you’ve all been incredibly brave for a long time and I need you all to hang onto that courage so you can help me do my job.’

  Carla’s mother sniffed and fixed wide eyes on Julia. She would do anything, her gaze said. Anything that would, at least, save her child. The man behind her was quiet. Hopefully listening. Even a groan from nearby sounded as if someone was doing their best to stifle the involuntary interruption.

  ‘We’re going to get you all out,’ Julia said confidently, ‘but we have to do this carefully. One at a time. I’m going to help anyone who can move to get to the top of the carriage where someone will be waiting to carry them up to the bridge.’

  Would Mac be there yet? Dangling on a winch line with a harness in his hands that he would pass through the door to Julia to buckle onto each survivor?

  ‘I’m here, Jules.’ It wasn’t the first time that Mac had seemed to be able to read her thoughts. ‘Ready when you are.’

  ‘When we’ve got as many as we can out, we’ll be able to take care of all of you that are injured and we’ll get you out as well,’ Julia told the passengers. ‘Do you all understand? Can you help me?’

  She heard a whimper of fear and another groan but amongst the sounds of suffering came assent.

  ‘Just get on with it!’ the loud man was pleading now. ‘Stop talking and do something.’

  Julia climbed past another seat. She made sure her feet were secure and then anchored herself with one hand. ‘Pass Carla to me,’ she ordered.

  ‘No-o-o-o!’ the child shrieked.

  ‘You have to, baby.’ With tears streaming down her face but her voice remarkably calm, Carla’s mother peeled small arms from around her neck and pushed her child towards Julia. ‘I’ll be there soon, I promise.’ Her voice broke on the last word but Julia now had a small girl clinging her like a terrified monkey and she didn’t take the time to reassure the mother. She was climbing upwards again and part of her brain was planning ahead. The teenage boy next. She had a triangular bandage in the neat pack belted to her hips. She could secure his injured arm and he should be able to climb with her. Maybe Carla’s mother after that, so that her panic wouldn’t make it harder for everyone else to wait their turn.

  There would be others after that and then the real work could begin. Assessing and stabilising the injured and getting them out of here and on the way to definitive medical care.

  By then the weight in the carriage and the potential for unexpected movement would be well down. The cables would have had a reasonably thorough test. Mac or one of the other SERT guys could join her. Someone would have to because there was no way she could carry the injured up herself.

  Carrying a slight, seven-year-old girl was proving hard enough. The extra weight made it an effort to balance and then push up to the next padded rung of this odd ladder of seats. Julia’s breathing was becoming labored and the muscles in her legs and arms were burning. She had to concentrate more with every step so that fatigue wouldn’t cause a slip that might send them both falling down the central aisle.

  She couldn’t even afford the extra effort of looking up past her burden to see how close she was to the top or whether Mac was peering down to watch her progress.

  ‘You’re almost there. Two more.’

  How did he do that? Know precisely when she needed encouragement? This time, he could probably see the way she hesitated before each upward push. How each hesitation was becoming a little longer so he wasn’t really mind-reading. It just felt like that.

  She could do two more. No. Julia could feel the determined line of her lips twist into a kind of smile. She could do ten more knowing that Mac was waiting at the top.

  ‘Good job.’

  The quiet words were praise enough for her efforts. Julia was too breathless to respond immediately, though. She simply nodded once and then held out her hand for the nappy harness. Then she edged—carefully—into the first space of upturned seats so that she could sit and use both arms and hands for her next task.

  ‘It’s OK, sweetheart,’ she told the rigid bundle on her lap. ‘I’m going to put these special straps around you and then Mac’s going to get you out of here and carry you right up to the top.’

  ‘No-o-o!’ Arms tightened their vice-like grip around Julia’s neck.

  ‘I need to go back and look after the other people. Like your mummy. You’ll be fine, Carla, I promise.’

  But the child was shaking now. Whimpering with fear.

  ‘Mac is a very nice man,’ Julia told her.

  ‘Cheers, mate,’ came with the chuckle in her earphones.

  ‘And he really, really likes children,’ Julia added. ‘Looking after little girls like you is absolutely his favourite thing to do.’

  The earphones stayed silent this time. What was Mac thinking? Remembering oc
casions when he’d poured his heart and soul into trying to save a child? The heartbreak when he hadn’t been successful?

  Carla had relaxed fractionally. Enough for Julia to be able to slip the straps into position and then close and tighten buckles. She hoped the silence wasn’t because Mac was putting two and two together somehow. That he had noticed at some point over the last weeks the way she avoided prolonged contact with paediatric patients if possible. The way she was so good at distancing herself by taking on any case that was preferably complicated and adult.

  No. She was pretty confident she kept personal issues well away from her work. Out of her life, in fact, because she wasn’t letting anyone close enough to discover the truth.

  ‘I’m going to tell Mummy how brave you are,’ Julia told Carla. ‘As soon as I get back down to her. Do you think she’ll be proud of you?’

  Carla didn’t nod but her head moved so that she could look up at Julia.

  ‘I’m proud of you.’ Julia smiled. ‘Mac will be, too, you’ll see.’

  She eased herself to her feet. Carla was still tense and she cried out in terror when Julia lifted her into Mac’s waiting hands but then she was in his strong, secure grasp and the child looked up and saw the face of the man above her.

  Mac’s smile was as reassuring as a hug.

  ‘Hi, there, peanut,’ he said. ‘Going to come for a wee ride with me?’

  And this time Carla nodded and, as Mac clipped the buckle of her harness to his own and instructed the child to put her arms around his neck and hold on tight, she turned her head and Julia could see that she was—incredibly—smiling herself.

  Mac was simply the best when it came to dealing with children. It had made it easier to step back herself and not get people asking awkward questions.

  ‘Your job,’ she could say to Mac with total sincerity. ‘You’re the best.’

  He was. He adored kids and she knew him, while he probably wouldn’t admit it on station, he was aching for some of his own. And why not? He was in his mid-thirties and by now the absolute obsession with his career had to be ebbing enough for him to realise he might be running out of time to find someone to make a family with. He needed to get on with it.

  He’d have gorgeous children and he’d make the best father ever.

  And some incredibly lucky woman was going to be his wife and the mother of those children.

  Julia turned and began climbing back down as soon as she saw Mac and Carla beginning their upward journey. She had to be just as slow and careful as she had been the first time she had done this despite it seeming easier having done it before. She couldn’t afford to fall.

  The descent was too slow. It allowed too much time for errant thoughts and emotions to seep into her mind and body.

  Inappropriate things but she was learning to expect the backwash that came from seeing Mac with a child in his arms.

  A mix of grief. And jealousy. And…yes…desire.

  And, as usual, they had to be stamped out with fierce determination because there was nothing Julia could do to change the way things were now.

  Not a single thing.

  It took well over an hour for her to help the eight relatively uninjured victims up to the door where they had been winched up to the bridge and into the care of waiting rescuers. Eight heavy people who had required assistance to make the climb. Constant guidance and encouragement, if not actual physical support. Julia had to be exhausted both physically and mentally.

  ‘Angus and Dale could take over the next stage,’ Mac suggested.

  ‘No way.’ Julia was heading for the base of the carriage again and the crisp words via the communication system put paid to any further suggestions on Mac’s part. ‘The job’s nearly done and there’s no way I’m deserting Ken. He knows me, now.’

  And she knew. She was deeply involved in this scenario and, knowing Jules, she would be committed to the people and the mission a thousand per cent. If they wanted to get her out of there it would be neither easy nor pleasant. And she was right, the job was nearly done. She had managed to get virtually all the people from the carriage out and Mac knew there was one conscious, injured person, one unconscious and one dead.

  So Mac went in to join her because Julia was his partner and everybody knew just how tight a team these two were these days. Inseparable. And darned good at their jobs.

  This time when Mac came down on the winch line he brought equipment and the medical supplies they would need.

  The bottom two rows of upturned seats had become a kind of triage station.

  Julia indicated one of her patients. ‘This man has been unconscious since I got my first glance inside.’

  The figure was slumped on the seat by the window but Mac could see the end of a plastic OP airway in his mouth. Julia had obviously assessed him and done what she could in the brief window of time that triaging allowed for.

  ‘Head injury,’ Julia continued. ‘GCS 3. Rapid, weak pulse and query Cheyne-Stokes breathing pattern.’

  The man was very seriously injured, then. Unlikely to survive. If they took the time to evacuate him first, others who could survive might die.

  ‘And this is Ken.’ Julia was hanging onto the edge of the seat across the aisle now. ‘Spinal injury. Paralysis of both legs and paresthesia in both hands.’

  A high spinal injury, then. He would need very careful immobilisation before evacuation so they didn’t exacerbate the injury.

  Julia dropped lower, shining the light of her helmet on the very end of the carriage.

  ‘Status zero here,’ she told Mac quietly. ‘There were several people on top of him to start with. He’s too heavy for me to shift but I’ve moved enough to be fairly sure there’s no one underneath him.’

  Mac reached down and caught the arm and shoulder of the heavy body, lifting it further than Julia would have managed. A jumble of luggage, personal possessions like books and drink bottles filled a fair bit of space but there was no sign of movement that might indicate a survivor struggling to get out. He could see shards of broken glass in the debris as well. And so much blood he felt a familiar knot tighten in his gut. He let the man’s body fall back gently.

  ‘Let’s deal with what we’ve got first.’

  Julia nodded. ‘Ken first?’

  Mac agreed. The sooner they had his spine immobilised and protected, the better the outcome might be for him.

  Julia wriggled into a position where she could support Ken’s head while Mac went to get the equipment they would need. A neck collar and survival blankets to start with. Oxygen and IV gear and pain relief. He found her squashed into the tiny gap beside Ken, ready to take the collar and ease it into position, and it wasn’t the first time he thought it was a blessing that she was so little and mobile. There was no way he could have managed that feat so competently.

  ‘Do you think I’ve broken my neck?’ Ken sounded terrified.

  ‘This is a precaution,’ Julia reassured him. ‘We don’t know what part of your spine has been injured and we need to keep it all in line. It’s really important that you don’t move even after the collar’s secured because the rest of your back isn’t protected yet. We’ll do everything we can but we need you to help too. Can you do that?’

  The huff of sound was still fearful. ‘I guess.’

  ‘Just hang in there, mate. You’re doing really, really well.’

  Mac was busy opening packages but he could hear the smile in Julia’s voice as she reassured her patient. He knew exactly how her face would be looking as she spoke even though he couldn’t see it. Ken probably couldn’t see it either. He might see the way her lips curved back into her cheeks but he wouldn’t be able to see the way Julia’s eyes always smiled right along with her mouth. The way her whole face—even her whole body sometimes—seemed connected to her emotional state.

  Fascinating to watch. Or provoke. Mac wasn’t the only one on station who took pleasure in engaging Julia in an animated discussion.

  Or delight in makin
g her smile.

  ‘We’re going to give you something for that pain very soon.’ Julia was swabbing a patch on Ken’s forearm. ‘Wee scratch coming up. There. All done. Wasn’t so bad, was it?’

  ‘Didn’t feel a thing. You know what you’re doing, don’t you, lassie?’

  Julia chuckled. ‘Sure do. Now, are you allergic to any drugs that you know of?’

  Mac flicked the top of an ampoule to move the fluid inside. Then he snapped it and slid a needle into the narrow neck to draw up the drug.

  Ken was right. Julia knew what she was doing. He was right, too. She was involved in this scenario to the extent that it would have been detrimental to try and give her a break. She had established a connection with Ken and he was in exactly the right frame of mind to co-operate with whatever measures needed to be taken to rescue him.

  He trusted Julia and Mac knew the trust wasn’t misplaced. He had to feel completely dependent on her right now but he knew that she would be treating his vulnerability with the same kind of compassion and skill she brought to the medical practices he had witnessed her administering.

  She fitted an oxygen mask onto Ken and hooked it up to the small cylinder from the pack. ‘I won’t run fluids,’ she told Mac. ‘BP’s down but it’s more likely to be neurogenic than hypovolaemic shock.’

  ‘What does that mean?’ Ken asked fearfully.

  ‘Any injury to the spine can interfere with nerves,’ Julia told him. ‘That’s why you can’t feel your legs at the moment and you’re getting pins and needles in your hands. It’s not necessarily permanent,’ she added firmly, as though she’d given this reassurance more than once. ‘We can’t know what damage there is but what we can do is take care not to make it any worse.’

  A lot of care had to go into the next stage of this rescue. They had to get Ken flat and secured onto a stretcher without twisting or bending his vertebrae. Then they would have to cushion his head and strap him so securely onto a stretcher there would be no danger of movement during the extrication process.