by Tonie Chacon
“We have to settle up our bill,” Megan said. “I’m sorry you never figured out that song that has been in your head, and I’m also sorry we didn’t get to hear Colin play again. Alexandria must really be sick. We will have to be quiet tonight, all right Alice?”
“Yes, of course, I know how to be quiet, especially in the moment.”
“What moment?” Megan asked.
“You know, that moment. When, oh dear. Oh no, my dear, I thought you were talking about...” Alice shook her head and started for the door.
“Wait, we haven’t paid yet.” Megan made a motion for the steward to come over.
“Sign Emily’s suite number,” Alice said. “It was her bloody idea to turn that kissing game into a drinking game too. Have her pay for this.” She made a sweeping motion with her arms, but somehow kept going around in a circle. “Oops.” She stumbled and tried to pick up her wrap, which had fallen to the floor.
“Here, let me help you with that.” Megan took Alice’s wrap and put it around her shoulders. “That should make you feel better.”
“No.” Alice took the wrap off and fanned herself. “Isn’t it hot in here?”
“Let’s go out and take that walk you desired a minute ago,” Megan said. “That will help you clear your head.” She quickly signed the steward’s ticket and bent to rescue Alice’s wrap, which had fallen to the floor again. “Come along.”
Megan opened the door, and they stepped out into the night. The deck was small, but there was plenty of fresh air and a rail to lean upon. “Here, stand here and hold on,” Megan said. “Let the wind blow through your wonderful hair.” They watched the moonlight catch the top of the waves that seemed to glisten and twinkle just for them.
“Is that what you do every night?” Megan asked softly. “Go to her? I have noticed you stay out far into the morning.”
Alice looked at Megan with a worried frown, but she said nothing.
“I know it really is none of my business,” Megan said, “but I so desperately do not want to jeopardize our friendship. I’m thoroughly enjoying where it has been headed so far.” Megan wondered how much she should say, but their journey would last just a few more days. She decided to risk it. “Just how far are you willing to go with me? I would like to find out, but I will not stand to be a second helping for you. I warn you, I do not take feelings lightly. You need to finish what you started with her before you start something else with me. Are you sober enough to understand me?” Megan looked directly into Alice’s eyes.
Alice still stared at Megan and did not speak.
Megan sighed. “You aren’t, are you? Come on, you won’t remember this in the morning. Let’s go on home.” She led Alice down the stairs to their deck.
Alexandria was already asleep when they came in. She wrestled a bit with her covers, rolled over, and snuggled back into a slight snore. Megan started to get undressed, aware of Alice watching her as she removed her dress, slowly, until her chemise was all she had on.
Alice suddenly jumped up. “I have to go,” she whispered. “I have unfinished business. Don’t wait up for me. I’ll see you in the morning.” Out the door she swept.
“Oh.” Megan dropped onto her bunk. She knew where Alice was going but she didn’t know why. Unfinished business? Either she was running to Emily to spend the night with her, or... Could it be? Would Alice really call off what she had with Emily for Megan? God, she hoped she was not just the greener pasture. They still had a couple more nights, at least, on Titanic. She’d heard the Captain say they should arrive on Tuesday. Hours ahead of schedule was the boast. It could take a few days longer, if it were up to Megan. Tomorrow was Sunday already, or rather, today.
Was what Alice had with Emily just sex? It was just about sex, wasn’t it? Oh, her head started to hurt. Stop thinking. Whatever will be, will be the right thing. Think about something sacred, she told herself. Yes, that would make her sleepy and stop her from thinking about Alice and the way her lips still tingled from their kiss and about what Alice was doing right then with Emily.
Quit it. Sacred. Something sacred, Megan. Think about church.
“KNOCK, KNOCK, YOU still up?”
Emily arranged herself on the cover of the bed with nothing on but a bit of lace covering her most private parts. “Come in,” she said softly.
The door swung open wide. Alice stood there, her mouth slightly open as if she couldn’t believe the beauty she was seeing. She closed the door and leaned with her back against it.
“Um, hi,” Alice said. “I didn’t think I’d be so late, but...”
Emily could see Alice swallow, with desire, she thought. It was nice to know she had the power to move a beautiful woman like Alice.
“I—I really can’t stay,” Alice said. “I’m very tired and I’ve had a bit to drink, and I just want to go back to my room and lie down. All right?”
Emily raised an eyebrow. Was it desire she saw on Alice’s face? Or was the girl nervous?
“What I mean to say is that you look lovely lying there waiting for me to come ravish you as I have in the past,” Alice said, “but I can’t do this tonight. I just came by to tell you. Uh, goodbye and thank you.” She tried to curl around to the door.
Emily was up in a flash and pushed the door closed before Alice could get it open.
“Just what exactly are you trying to say to me? That you like me, you liked to fuck me once upon a time, yesterday, but now you won’t? You can’t? What do you mean, you can’t?”
“I’m sorry,” Alice said. “I can’t do this anymore. I need time. It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t think you are the one, you know. Can’t you feel it too? Or then, I don’t think I’m the one for you.”
“How dare you. Coming into my room and telling me I’m not good enough for you. Please leave at once. Go on. Don’t even think you are going to get away with this little treatment of yours tonight. I will not stand for it. Oh, oh I am so angry with you. I don’t want to see you for the rest of this voyage. Don’t you realize I can get you in so much trouble? Walk lightly, my lovely, and keep watch over your shoulder for me to appear.” Emily opened the door and stepped back. “Now leave,” she shouted and slammed the door behind Alice.
“What the fuck was that?” Emily shrieked. “Did I just get brushed off? Or did I do the brushing? Just like that?” She snapped her fingers.
Still snapping her fingers, Emily ranted around the room. She poured herself a jigger of brandy and threw it down her throat. There, that burned, just like she did. Burn her. She thrust her fists high in the air. No one does that, not to Emily Westbrooke.
She paced about the room, each time around calming herself as she circled. There, there now, all was not lost. There was plenty of the voyage left to either win sweet Alice, or drop her, like Alice was trying to do her. Now that she thought hard about the situation, Emily realized Alice probably was tired. She didn’t hold her liquor very well. Well, she held her licker well, but not her liquor, Emily thought, and she laughed. Back to the problem at hand, though. Maybe Emily herself had a little too much to drink too. She should just go to bed and address it all in the morning.
She pulled off the lace and got dressed in something more comfortable for sleeping. She turned off the light and crawled into bed, pulled the covers up close, and snuggled down to get warm. Emily was asleep within minutes.
Chapter Seventeen
13 April 1912 — Morning
THE ROOM WAS empty when Alice awoke. She stretched her arms over her head, trying to remember last night. Bits and pieces floated around in her head. Tidbits of conversations reminded her that she’d had a very exciting night indeed. First off, there was kissing Megan. Alice smiled at the thought. Next was beer and lots more kissing, people whose lips were foreign to her own, yet many that were pleasant. She’d kissed Frances on the lips for the first time, and the last. She hoped Franny finally realized that they would never be more than friends.
Then there was all that talk on the deck. Alice
had heard Megan. She felt like a piece of dog dung hanging on a hind leg. Yup, that’s what she felt like. No better than. She had tried to fix things with Emily. Well, fix wasn’t exactly correct. More like undo. Oh, why did she have to go up to Emily’s cabin and try to break it off under those conditions, with Emily in nothing but lace and Alice filled with drink. What was she thinking?
She wanted Megan, that’s what she was thinking. She’d been warned by Megan herself, though she probably didn’t think Alice would remember the conversation. Lot of good it did her now, Alice thought. Megan was gone.
Alice glanced around trying to find a clue of Megan’s whereabouts. Aha, a note. A little scribbled thing lying on her pillow, it read:
Didn’t want to wake you, you looked so peaceful sleeping there, in a world all your own. I’m not sure what happened last night, but if you are free to have brunch with me this morning that will tell me you are serious about us. If you have broken things off with Emily, then come find me in the Second Class dining room. I’ll wait for you until two. If you don’t show up, I will know what you have decided.
Love, Megan
Love is it now? Alice smiled.
She dressed quickly, anxious to be back in the presence of Megan. She felt safe, for the first time in a very long time, perhaps ever. Since that horrible carriage accident that took her parents, she had been on a roller coaster of places and people, and continents even, now that she thought about it. With Megan, she felt at peace.
Alice found Megan in the dining room. She sat in a corner booth with the sunshine cascading over her, catching the natural red highlights in her auburn hair. She looked like a Madonna for a moment. Alice sat down opposite her. “Thank you for letting me sleep. I must have needed it.”
Megan beamed at her.
A waiter arrived and poured Alice some coffee. She took a long satisfying sip of the hot drink. “Oh my word, they know how to make a good cup of coffee.” Or her body craved it after a night of drinking. “How long have you been up?”
“Not that much longer than you,” Megan said. “A little while is all. Alexandria and I woke around the same time. You just missed them. My brother came by and whisked her off to some unknown parts of the ship that only crew members get to stray to. Not fair.” Megan gave a pout, which made Alice stare at her lips.
Megan reached across the table and grabbed Alice’s hands. She gave a gentle squeeze and released them. “I just wanted to touch you.” Megan smiled into Alice’s eyes. “It’s been a long few hours. So, what happened last night? What did you tell her? What did she say? Are you all right?” Megan bounced questions about like a Ping-Pong ball.
“Megan, I shall answer all your questions as the day progresses. You have me all day, if you wish. I have no other obligations.”
“All right. That is splendid news. But at least tell me what happened?”
“I broke it off with Emily. At least I think I did. Last night is a bit blurry.” Alice held her forehead in her palm.
“Drink some more coffee now, will you, love?” Megan spoke endearingly.
“She’s angry,” Alice said. “I think she plans to make the rest of the trip a misery for me, but I don’t intend to let her. I’m just going to avoid all the people I know today except for you. I would like to get to know you better. I want to show you how special a special relationship can really be. Let’s make a day of it, all right?”
Megan sat in thought a bit and said, “Yes, that would be good. I would like to get to know you better too. Are you up for a little adventure today then, lass? Because I just might be able to get us below decks to the deep storage area. I would like to show you my mother’s bracelet. ’Tis the only thing I have of value, except for my watch, and I think it’s pretty. I should be wearing it, which is why I thought I would go fetch it. Might you like to go with me?”
“Yes, of course I would love to go down there and explore. What great fun, and you should have your mother’s bracelet on, to remind you of where you came from. I wish I had a memento to remind me of my parents.”
“They’ll be thinking what a grand life their daughter has had. From the best schools and upbringing to where she is now on the grandest ship in all the world.”
“Yes, well, there is all that, I suppose.” Alice wasn’t quite sure how she felt about that analogy. She didn’t feel she had gotten many privileges of her station. That was just it. She wasn’t sure where she stood with anything. She wasn’t an actual Cheswick daughter. They almost treated her as such, but beneath the surface she felt that she was one step higher than the servants, which wasn’t much of a step.
Megan said, “Splendid then, let’s finish up here and be off on our adventure of the lost trunk. Sounds like a Sherlock Holmes novel now, don’t it?”
Alice followed Megan toward deep storage. It was like there was a map open in Megan’s brain and she could follow the schematic to the letter. They took the elevator down to E deck and got out. They went through the corridor, took a right at the stairs, went down another long corridor, then right again at the junction. Megan led Alice further down another corridor with doors on both sides, along another little hallway, and then down a flight of stairs.
“It sounds different down here,” Alice said as her voice echoed. “It still smells like fresh paint.”
Megan sniffed. “Yes, it does. This could be the last deck they painted because it was sanctioned for deep storage,” Megan said as they walked. They came to the door marked Royal Post. “Here we are.” Megan went through the open doorway.
They were greeted by a man with a little moustache. Megan approached the counter and spoke with the clerk. Alice couldn’t hear what they said but she did see a lot of hand gestures. Megan made the man laugh, and then he walked over to another part of the counter and lifted up a portion of it like a drawbridge.
“Come on in,” he said pointing down toward the left. “Go on down over there now. Mind where you walk. Keep to the lines on the floor and you should be just fine. Once you get down the ladder, be on the lookout for the door leading out to deep storage across the room and there you have it. But I haven’t seen nor heard of either one of you, you hear?” With that said, he turned to walk back to his station.
“Thank you,” Megan said.
“Yes, thank you,” Alice repeated, but he was too far away or didn’t care to reply. “Are we not supposed to be down here?”
“It’s strictly off-limits to passengers.” Megan flashed a smile. “But I’m no ordinary passenger. I’ve been down here a couple of times to ask questions, and one time they let me help with the mail a bit, so I’m practically an employee. Are you ready? Come on then, let’s go have at it.”
They walked around piles of sacked mail, following the line like the man said, and they came to a porthole in the floor. Gathering up their skirts as well as could be done, they climbed down the ladder into an area so cavernous that their voices echoed. They paused and glanced around. Piles and piles of trunks, all neatly wrapped up with huge heavy coiled rope waited to be taken off the ship in New York. There were automobiles on platforms, boxes and bags and, of course, more trunks.
Pile after pile they saw, but it was to the trunks that Megan turned. “I thought mine was unique,” she said. “I’ve never seen another one like it before, but that was then and this is now. See how alike they all are?”
“Not really,” Alice said. “Look, there are humpbacks and wardrobe cases and flat tops. What kind is yours?”
“It’s a flat top,” Megan said. “It has carvings drawn into the top that I know are one-of-a-kind, but we can’t see the tops of them from here. I suppose it’s a fantasy that we could find my trunk. I don’t need to get my mother’s bracelet after all. I can see it in New York when we berth in a couple of days.”
“No, we can’t stop searching now, this is the most fun I’ve had in years. I haven’t had an adventure like this in my whole life. Let’s not give up now. I want you to have what you want.” Alice leaned over. �
��This is what I want.” She captured Megan’s mouth with her own. She touched her tongue to Megan’s lips, and when Megan opened a little further, Alice took full advantage and kissed her long and hard. Alice reeled. She felt like she was going to lose consciousness, and she moaned softly. Could this be real? Could this really be happening? Is this how it feels to fall in love?
Megan’s eyes fluttered open as she licked her lips and then a little smile appeared on her face. “Oh, my.”
“Let’s look a little while and see if we just might find it. You never know,” Alice said. “Tell me more about the trunk.”
“It’s brown, not black, and the leather strips on the sides have carvings on them too. Teak wood slats, so highly varnished they shine. I don’t see any others like that, but it’ll take some miracle to find it.”
“Let’s both go from pile to pile, and side to side for a while. It’s nice and quiet down here, and we do have it all to ourselves. This is such a treat. Thank you.” Alice put her hand in Megan’s. “Walk with me?”
Up and down the rows they wandered looking to and fro, stern to bow, searching for Megan’s trunk. The whole time Alice kept finding little excuses to touch a different part of Megan’s arm or to caress her back. Just touching her was enough, Alice realized.
“There it is.” Megan hopped up and down on nervous feet, excited as a kid on Christmas. “I’d know it anywhere.” She pointed to a trunk near the narrow top of one stack, piled in a pyramid and wrapped neatly in a netting of rope.
“My Lord, but that’s a little high from the ground, wouldn’t you say?” Alice asked.
Megan walked around the pile and assessed the situation. “I think I can use the rope as a sort of ladder,” she said.
“You’ll fall,” Alice cried.
“I don’t think so,” Megan said. “The rope gives it stability and gives me a handhold. I can climb on the other trunks as easily as climbing stairs. No one is about, truly? Then keep a watch and I’ll be right back.” She tucked her skirts into her waist to free her legs, and up she scampered, using the ropes as a monkey would, climbing until she reached the trunk.
