Rise

by Piper Lawson

  I lifted a shoulder. “Why not?”

  “Because even if she wants to be with you? She wants what’s best for you even more. And as messed up and misguided as it seems, that’s what love is.”

  30

  My world

  After a few weeks of filming, the days started to blur together.

  I started keeping a notebook—the handwritten kind, not my phone—of ideas I picked up from being on set.

  Because I had an all-access pass, I could watch anything and talk to anyone.

  I made friends with the writers, one of the assistant directors, even the team on marketing back at the studio. It was like getting paid for a masterclass in film production and marketing.

  One night I went to a club with some of the crew celebrating getting through the first set of scenes. Most of them had the next day off since the director and assistant directors were reviewing footage.

  Since Titan had gotten big, I’d spent time around people with money. Real money. Still, I was willing to wager most of the men in this room had private jets, or eight-figure sports contracts, or houses in the hills.

  After a couple of drinks, David pointed out a woman checking me out. “Well?”

  “Well, what?”

  “She’s hot. Go for it,” he said.

  “Not my type.”

  “That woman’s every guy’s type.”

  But she wasn’t.

  She was tall and blond, not petite with dark hair.

  Instead of being filled with skepticism, her gaze was the equivalent of a welcome mat.

  Plus, she was too composed. The woman didn’t look like she’d fidget if she were dangling over an active volcano.

  “Your loss,” David said.

  I watched as he introduced himself. She beamed as he bought her a drink and I turned to look at the rest of the bar, thinking of the picture of his wife on his desk.

  I went to the bathroom to escape the sweat and the neediness that draped the room like a silk blanket.

  I bumped into a figure in the hall on the way back.

  “Need a break?” the woman who’d been flirting with David asked, sympathetic.

  “He’s not who he says he is.”

  Her wry smile came with a cock of her head. “They never are.”

  Five minutes later, I watched her cross the room and take up her spot next to David again. When she leaned in to kiss him and he let her, I walked out.

  I’d thought this was the place that made dreams a reality. But everyone in that bar wanted something. Maybe, like me, they didn’t know what it was. Unlike me, they were willing to do anything to find out.

  By the time I got back to my suite, the hotel was quiet. Inside my room, I stripped down to my shorts, letting each piece fall on the floor as I grabbed my computer and bound notebook and took them out onto my patio.

  Sitting in the cool evening air, letting the breeze play over my skin, I pulled out my paper notebook and re-read my notes for the day.

  There were good ideas in there, but I realized they were ideas for Titan, not for Epic.

  I got to the end and my pen started to move over the blank page.

  I remembered the night Sam and I’d sat in my spare bedroom, her drawing invisible lines across my skin. The way it felt, just me, her, and the darkness.

  In that moment, she’d been everything. My past, my present, my future. All of it rendered perfectly in each breathy sound, each curve of her body, each low murmur.

  By the time I lifted the pen from the notebook, there was an image of two people, embracing.

  It was the worst fucking thing I’d ever seen but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh.

  Instead, I opened my laptop, pulling up Sam’s anonymous profile.

  Where was she now? In her new apartment? Working on her gallery show?

  With her new Jonathan?

  I’d been in LA a full month. When I’d decided to come out here, I’d vowed I wouldn’t chase her.

  Still, I couldn’t stop the wondering.

  The knock on my door shook me out of my trance.

  “Don’t tell me you’re asleep,” a flat voice called. “It’s eleven-thirty on a Friday.”

  I rose from my chair and crossed to the door. Jerking it open, I found Max on the other side, a knapsack over his shoulder and a paper bag in his hand. “What are you doing here?”

  “The way Payton talked I figured you were living in a shithole, not a Sheraton.”

  Max unzipped the bag and pulled out a console.

  My throat dried up. “This is the demo of Omega?”

  He nodded. “Load it up.”

  I crossed to the couch, taking a seat as we plugged in the console.

  Max hit a few buttons, and an entire world unfolded in front of me.

  We sat next to each other, working through the first level.

  “Does the facial recognition—”

  “You tell me.”

  My mouth twitched at his sarcasm. It was hard to remember the last time I’d smiled, and the muscles felt out of practice.

  A few moments later, my avatar seemed sluggish. “It works.”

  “Uh-huh. It’s done and debugged. The motion capture’s not ready to roll out, but it’s close.”

  I set down the controller to stare at him. “Shit. I didn’t know we were this far along.”

  “I’ve been working on it around the clock, plus got some subcontractors to help. Our hourly billings have been insane the last quarter, but I didn’t want to get the team’s hopes up.” His gaze leveled on mine. “Or yours.”

  “Max, the quality’s better than anything else on the market.”

  “I know.” He hit the off button and dropped back onto the couch next to me.

  My heart thudded in my chest as I stared at the black screen.

  “I want to renegotiate the deal with Cobalt.” His words sank in and I turned toward him. “I’m willing to give them Oasis and Phoenix. But not Omega.”

  “Why the change of heart.”

  “Trying to keep on top of my family and Titan is making my head spin. I’m used to knowing every piece of every person’s job. I haven’t for awhile now. But it’s hard to deal with it, with not being involved in every decision. I need your help.”

  I nodded, careful not to read too much into his words. “I can talk to David on set.”

  He shifted, stretching an arm over the back of the couch. “Someone stopped by the office the other day. Asking whether you were intending to buy your Bentley back.”

  My eyes closed and I felt laughter bubble up for the first time in weeks.

  “What the fuck happened, Ry?”

  “Fun story. We were short on payroll right before the holidays, and it was one of my more liquid assets.”

  “You sold it for Titan.” He cursed. “You should’ve told me.”

  I reached a hand up to rub the back of my neck, blinking my eyes open as I stared across the room. “I should be able to run the business for a few weeks without you, even if you were the one who ordered the extra hours.”

  “We’re also supposed to be friends.” He cleared his throat. “How are you? With Sam?”

  Her name was a kick in the gut, even after weeks without seeing her face, without touching her, without talking to her.

  “There is no me and Sam. This whole time I was chasing something that couldn’t exist. We weren’t right for each other then. We still aren’t. She doesn’t want any part of my world.”

  “I’m not so sure.” He opened a window on his phone, clicking to a familiar website.

  “What are you…” When Sam’s homepage loaded, I looked up at him in alarm. “What the hell is this.”

  He raised a brow. “Looks like art, Ry.”

  Max shifted off the couch but I barely noticed him, my attention riveted by the tiny screen.

  31

  From memory

  After seeing Max I’d made arrangements to come home the next day.

  I’d packed up my ba
gs, given notice at the hotel, and hopped the first plane I could get.

  Boston wasn’t as warm as California, but the snow had gone since I’d left. With spring around the corner, the grass was starting to grow and it felt like the long winter was over.

  Now I was standing on the familiar porch of the familiar Victorian, looking into a familiar pair of brown eyes filled with unfamiliar compassion.

  “Is she here?”

  I couldn’t bother with niceties today. Maybe Sam’s dad got that, because he pulled off his glasses and sighed. “Samantha left home a month ago.”

  Everything inside me collapsed at once.

  “Where can I find her?”

  Mr. Martinez reached out a hand and I braced myself in case he tried to shut the door in my face.

  Instead, he only held the porch screen door open wider.

  “I will give you the address.”

  Relief washed over me as he recited it, and I took it down on my phone, pausing when he got to the end. “Seriously? Thank you.”

  I started to turn around and he stopped me with his voice.

  “Mr. McKay.” I turned back to find him studying me. He’d seen me in hoodies and in suits, but my jeans and windbreaker didn’t seem to interest him. In fact, it felt like he was looking beneath the surface. “I trusted you to look after my daughter many years ago.”

  I shoved my hands in my pockets, along with my phone. “And I fucked it up.”

  “Not at all. You far exceeded my expectations. I couldn’t have asked for someone better.” He cleared his throat. “She’s everything I have.”

  My chest tightened. “I know what that feels like.”

  The parking lot at LIVE was half-full, even though the sign out front said there was no show tonight.

  When I walked in the door, I knew I was in the right place.

  The overhead light was dim, and only half the pieces on the walls were lit. Like whoever had done it was more concerned that the canvases were hung rather than that they were shown to their best advantage.

  There was no attendant to take coats, no one offering wine—not even Charlie, though it was clear she’d helped orchestrate this.

  Still, two dozen people stood around the club, studying the walls.

  It was nothing like the crowd that’d been at Jonathan’s gallery. There were teenagers here, and no one was on their phones.

  I stopped under the first painting.

  Dark lines, full of motion and emotion, on a white canvas.

  I took my time, drowning in piece after piece. One image I recognized from online profile. Others were new.

  “These are really cool.”

  “Thank you. Do you like to draw?”

  Her voice penetrated my thoughts, and I turned to see her standing talking to a kid who couldn’t have been more than eighteen.

  “Yeah. I tried taking art class, but I don’t like it.”

  I knew the moment Sam felt my presence because her shoulders straightened.

  I looked past her at the canvas. It was a man, sitting on a couch. His legs stretched in front of him. A half-smile on his face and a look of utter fascination in his eyes.

  “You finished it,” I murmured.

  “From memory.” Sam turned toward me.

  I hadn’t forgotten her, but she’d been blurred in my mind. Here she was real, and I ached as much having her close as I had being far away.

  Her hair fell in shining waves to her shoulders. Her eyes were lined, her lips bare. She wore dark jeans that clung to legs I remembered wrapped around me, and short black boots that added a couple of inches to her height.

  I shoved my hands in my pockets, feeling strangely underdressed for once. “Charlie told me about your gallery show. It sounds like a big deal. I fucked up, pressuring you to come with me. I’m sorry I didn’t understand.”

  She nodded. “It’s okay. But it’s not all I’m excited about.” She took a breath. “I was looking back at the auction we posted, and some of the comments on it. There were hundreds of them. People love Phoenix. It was such a high to see them engage in the concepts, the characters. I realized I do love this work, Lee. I love creating characters and bringing them to life. If that’s somehow less than what I learned in France…” she shrugged. “I’m okay with it.”

  “Is this why you linked this profile to your website?”

  “Yeah.” Sam glanced around the room, her gaze lingering on each of the images in turn. The light from the dimmed overheads gave the images on the walls more life. “You were right. Part of me was afraid to acknowledge it. But if someone—Jonathan, Clayton, my dad, anyone in the industry—has a problem with my work, that’s too bad. I’m not hiding anymore.”

  “Sam, for what it’s worth, your dad adores you. And it has nothing to do with your work and everything to do with who you are.”

  Her eyes shone. “I know. And this isn’t just what I do. It’s part of me, of the person I was.”

  My heart skipped as I resisted the urge to step into her. “Only the person you were?”

  She was surrounded by everything she’d created. Everything that came from inside her. And I’d never wanted her more.

  Her lips curved at the corner. “What are you doing here, Lee?”

  “When I went to LA, I thought I might find something there. And I did. I realized I didn’t need to leave Titan or Boston to have something that was mine. Because this feeling in me, this trying to figure out what I’m looking for… I figured it out.

  “What I’ve been looking for was you.” I stepped closer, unable to resist the emotion that washed over me. My hands found her hips, my thumbs stroking the indentation above them and feeling her shiver. “Every second I’m with you feels selfish. It’s so damned good that it feels like all I’m doing is taking. But I know it’s not because I see your face and I know you’re in it with me. I’m so in love with you, Sam. And no matter how you feel, I’m not sure I can ever stop.”

  “You mean that?” she whispered, and I nodded. “I love you too, Lee. Being without you this past month sucked. I thought I could go back to the way things were, but I couldn’t. Knowing you were out there, and that I could have had you…” her smile wavered. “You’re a tough act to follow, McKay.”

  The words, the trembling edge in her voice had me longing to do a hundred things I couldn’t. Whispering my apologies in her ears until my throat was hoarse. Dragging her into my arms and kissing her until we were both aching. Pulling her into a dark corner and showing her with my body, my hands, how much I’d missed her—how no one could ever take her place.

  “So what’s next?” she asked.

  “I’m coming back,” I told her. “To Boston, and Titan. Max and I talked on the plane on the way home. We brokered a new platform deal that will ensure we don’t run out of cash for at least a couple of years. With that funding we’ve decided to hire a new administrative officer to make sure nothing falls through the cracks. I’m going focus on expanding our brand, keeping up with opportunities like the Phoenix movie. Speaking of, we could use someone to do concept art, after you’re done with the gallery show.” I reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face.

  She flushed guiltily. “Actually, I did some research into the scholarship program at MassArt back when you were talking about donating money to them. Turns out they were actually looking for a sessional instructor. Someone pulled out for a course in the fall semester, and I’m going to be filling in to teach.”

  “No way.”

  She nodded. “I sent them my portfolio—both my work from France and the concept art—they loved it. Said the fact that I did both, the mix of techniques, appealed to the current generation of students. Or something like that.”

  “You’re amazing.”

  “Why thank you.”

  I frowned. “There’s just one problem. I was planning on having my second bedroom renovated into a studio. But I’d need a roommate who’s into art to make that worthwhile.”

  She arched
a brow. “My lease is month to month, so in two weeks, there might be a roommate available.”

  Her lips curved in a smile that made my soul ache for missing it.

  “Thank God. I called this contractor about restoring the moldings, and it was going to be a helluva waste without someone to admire them.”

  I kissed her because I couldn’t help myself.

  Her mouth warmed under mine, welcoming me home.

  It’d been too long since I’d seen her, and what was intended to be a greeting turned into more when my hands slid down to her ass, pulling her against me and rocking my hips toward her.

  “Okay, this is a family establishment. At least for tonight.” We broke apart. I grinned at Charlie, who stood on the other side of the room, arms folded in front of her and a smirk on her face.

  When I finally turned back to stare at Sam’s dazed face, I asked, “What’re you thinking?”

  “Everything. That I love you. That I can’t wait to see the studio. That I miss you and I kind of want to bail on this place so we can catch up for real.”

  I cleared my throat. “That’s a lot of thoughts. Let me know if you want help deciding which to do first.” I stepped closer to her. “So that’s a yes to moving in with me?”

  Her mouth curved up. “It’s a yes.”

  “Sweet. And we can have Dawson’s Creek style sleepovers?” I lifted my eyebrows. “But less existential talk and more existential sex?”

  She snorted, and it was the best sound I’d ever heard in my life.

  Until she said, “Deal.”

  Epilogue

  Riley

  4 months later

  * * *

  “Riley, how does it feel to know that Titan Games is poised to double its revenues in the next year thanks to the launch of Omega?”

  “Titan Entertainment,” I corrected. “We’re not just about games anymore.”

  “Right. Now it’s movies, too. What’s next?”

  “Music. Pastries. Sex toys. Who knows.”