What’s that smell?
P.E. uniforms tend to show signs of wear and tear by mid-year. Having a second set benefits you and your child—particularly when the first set misses its weekly trip to the washer. The extra set also comes in handy if the first set goes MIA. Washing a P.E. uniform takes minimal effort. Consider handing over the responsibility for this task to your child from day one. The consequences of having a smelly gym suit will provide plenty of motivation for learning this simple procedure.
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Look for opportunities throughout the year that allow your child to practice independence and the responsibility that comes along with it. Learning to care for their personal belongings is one obvious element of the move toward independence.
Study strategies for tackling homework
Assuming responsibility for meeting a teacher’s expectations doesn’t end when the last bell rings. Eventually, all students come face-to-face with a healthy portion of study time in the after-school hours. Completing those assignments can keep students working late into the night. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know that all of your child’s homework was completed before the midnight hour?
The reality of middle school for many kids is a struggle to manage their workload and the expectations of multiple teachers. The transition from elementary school, with one teacher and one classroom, to multiple classes and teachers creates a plethora of paperwork and increased pressure to stay organized.
Designating a consistent time for homework can add to the homework challenge. Many families’ schedules don’t allow them the luxury of eating dinner every night at 6:00 P.M. followed by a few hours of uninterrupted homework time. If your child’s after-school schedule varies, the homework schedule may need to vary as well. But the goal is to create a schedule and stick to it as often as possible. Recent research suggests that students who study in the same location for a consistent amount of time show far greater academic growth than students who continually vary both their study schedule and location. With a schedule in place and a consistent spot to get things done, the foundation is in place for efficient evening study sessions.
If the sight of your child staring blankly at a pile of textbooks raises your blood pressure, then consider trying the following four steps for successful study time. Getting started can stymie the most diligent of students unless there is a plan in place. Sit with your child the first few times you try this set of strategies. Remember that although creating a list and prioritizing tasks may be second nature to most adults, adolescents may need a few guided practice sessions with an adult before they can use the strategies effectively. Steps one through three are designed to pave the way for an efficient study process that naturally guides a child into completing nightly homework. When your child reaches step four, he will already be well on the way to completing his homework.
1. Create a list. A student’s homework planner is a wonderful resource to record assignments and due dates, but it doesn’t guarantee that any of the work will get completed. Ask your child to create a numbered list of assignments on a blank piece of paper, using the homework planner as a guide.
In addition to the assignments that are due the following day, ask your child to add any long-term projects or tests to the list. Generating a to-do list creates a mental picture of what needs to be done by defining a specific number of tasks.
2. Prioritize. Parents and kids often disagree when it comes to prioritizing the activities in their lives. Homework assignments are no different from other activities. The goal of this step is to define a starting point. Let your child decide which assignment gets the top spot on the list. Ask your child to write a number next to each assignment on the list. Prioritizing brings a child one step closer to completing the tasks on her list.
3. Estimate. Without an estimate of how long each task will take to complete, the evening hours can quickly slip away. In the area after each listed item, ask your child to record an estimate of the time she expects to spend completing that item. Initial estimates may be dramatically different than the actual time required to complete each item. After a few months, kids become amazingly accurate in their ability to estimate.
Parents can easily overcoach this step of the process, so try to refrain from leading questions, like “Do you really think it will take that long?” or “I bet you can finish that assignment in less time, don’t you?” that deprive your child of the natural learning process. Developing an internal sense of time takes practice.
4. Begin. Steps one to three can take upward of fifteen minutes to complete during the first few weeks of school. However, with consistent practice most middle schoolers can complete these three steps and be ready to move to step four in five minutes or less. Beginning with the highest priority item on the list, encourage your child to work steadily in twenty-minute time blocks. At the conclusion of each study block he should get a five-minute break. As a child begins to focus for longer periods of time, the study block should be increased in five-minute increments. Rarely can middle school students study for longer than thirty-five minutes without losing focus.
Keeping study blocks short helps to improve a child’s focus. With a defined work period and study break to look forward to, children tend to stay more motivated than when they are asked to work for an unstructured amount of time.
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Using a timer for both the study and break periods can help to keep study sessions moving forward. The child may use her break periods for any activity she chooses. Five-minute study breaks give kids enough time to send a few text messages, make a short phone call, or dig into a favorite snack.
“Max is doing great asfar as we can tell. He loves doing homework the way you suggested, taking breaks from time to time and then diving back into it. He proudly showed us how to look up his grades online on the school’s website.”
—Jenny, first-time middle school mom, Reno, NV
The first month of school is a trial period for measuring the success of homework procedures and organization strategies. Before the first progress report arrives, talk with your child about which study strategies are working and which ones need to be changed. Allow your child to propose any needed adjustments before jumping in with suggestions. In this discussion you provide guidance without assuming responsibility for your child’s progress. By abandoning or adapting ineffective strategies prior to the progress report, your child will have plenty of time for improvement before the first official report card arrives.
Creating a plan for conquering homework headaches can help to smooth the path to a more enjoyable year. Occasionally, though, kids encounter academic challenges that cannot be overcome through a simple change in study strategies.
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Alternating blocks of study time with short breaks gives parents a chance to drop in with favorite snacks. If eating in the study area isn’t an option, consider placing a basket of snack options on the kitchen table.
Proactive problem-solving with your child
It takes time to adapt to a new learning environment. Change threatens a child’s sense of stability. Overcoming the challenges associated with change is easier for some kids than it is for others. Typically, a child will stop complaining about assignments, teacher personalities, and minimal time with friends after the first week or two of the new middle school year. The routine of moving from class to class starts to gel, and most kids adapt to their unfamiliar surroundings. If problems persist beyond the opening weeks of a new semester, it’s time for a conversation with your child. The longer a child harbors feelings of unhappiness, the greater effect these feelings will have on his ability to achieve.
Coaching a child through the problem-solving process can be a difficult transition for parents. After years of assuming the problem-solver role, you may naturally feel uncomfortable transferring ownership of this responsibility. But if you don’t give your child an opportunity to practice searching for solutions, she will develop a growing depend
ency on others to remove the unhappiness in her life. Beginning with everyday dilemmas can ease the transition for both of you.
Common concerns of middle school children fall into three categories: peers, teachers, and workload. In each case, children should be actively involved in brainstorming solutions when concerns arise. The parent’s role is to guide the problem-solving process. It’s not easy to differentiate concerns that warrant a call to the school from those that require a simple shift in perception. However, often all you need to do to help resolve most problems is to listen to your child nonjudgmentally.
Set aside some uninterrupted time when you can sit with your child and listen to his list of concerns. Record each statement on a piece of paper so there is an accurate account of what was shared. After the list is complete, read each item aloud. Make any needed adjustments to the original statements before moving ahead.
Brainstorm. Very few children instinctively take action that would help to remove the barriers in their lives. Most children have learned that complaining is the swiftest way to resolution. The young child who doesn’t want to eat his dinner and then complains repeatedly until his parents serve him what he wants has learned that complaining solves problems. Gradually these tactics find their way into every unpleasant situation the child confronts. Without someone to listen to the complaints, though, a child is forced to adopt a new set of strategies.
The next time your child attempts to blast you with his or her latest complaint list, shift the focus to brainstorming a list of positive actions that have potential for positive results. The child who complains about having too little time to spend with friends can be encouraged to create a list of activities for outside the school day, when social events are easier to schedule. Teachers can also become the target of unjust accusations. If you keep the conversation moving toward action-oriented ideas, your child can learn a valuable new strategy for solving problems.
Initiate action. Brainstorming is a positive step toward becoming an independent problem-solver. However, merely assembling a list of possibilities doesn’t necessarily result in action that leads to resolution. Although a parent’s prodding can motivate a child to take action, this does not promote an increased sense of independence. Opt instead for sharing experiences from your life, demonstrating actions you took that led to resolution. By modeling how you moved from idea to action, you send a powerful message to your child about the value of initiating action.
Celebrate resolution. It’s truly amazing to witness children gaining independence in their ability to tackle life’s challenges. Moving through the problem-solving steps takes practice and patience, particularly for parents who are exploring this process for the first time with their child. As the child experiments with taking action, parents can continue their coaching role by acknowledging and celebrating progress. Statements such as “You completed all of your assignments” or “Your effort tonight was amazing” can act as powerful motivators for the child who struggles to complete nightly homework.
Occasionally, problems persist despite a child’s best effort to seek resolution. Peer issues like bullying and exclusion need immediate attention and intervention from parents. In chapter 1, we examined the causes of bullying and exclusion as well as strategies for bringing these activities to an end. Before you schedule a meeting with the school counselor and principal, try revisiting these ideas; they may help you facilitate a resolution to most serious peer issues.
Children also experience challenges outside the social realm that can negatively affect their development. When a child receives failing grades after continued attempts to learn the course material, it may be a sign that either the content is too difficult or the child needs to learn it in another way. In contrast, some children sail through nightly assignments and tests with little effort. Strive to strike a balance between challenge and boredom. When the balance becomes skewed too far in either direction, it’s time to sit down with your child’s teachers and counselors.
Children learn in different ways. Identifying a child’s learning style can help to explain why he may be struggling to learn. Most teachers now address individual learning styles by using a set of multimodal instructional strategies. Children who learn primarily by listening gain understanding through discussions and lectures. Visual learners benefit from computer-based presentations and the addition of pictures, graphs, and maps whose inclusion supports the content. Science classes give kinesthetic learners the greatest opportunity to use their learning strength through hands-on experiments.
At times, a teacher’s presentation style is a complete mismatch with a child’s learning style. An English class taught mainly in lecture format will cause difficulty for a child who learns primarily through discussion and interaction. In most cases, teachers accommodate different learning styles by giving the students strategies that use their learning strengths. If learning is still a struggle after talking with the teacher, your next step should be to meet with the school counselor.
In preparation for meeting with your child’s teachers and the school counselor, identify your concerns and the steps you have taken to assist your child. Counselors’ time is limited, given the large number of students they see on a daily basis. Teachers have very few breaks during normal school hours, so if you would like the teacher’s input, suggest scheduling the meeting after the school day. The more minds you have involved, the more ideas you can generate. Idea generation is the goal of your meeting, so try to include teachers whenever possible.
Meeting with your child and the school’s academic team can pave the way to a smoother year. The first progress report typically arrives between weeks four and six. Although the report is an informal account, it indicates a general pattern of progress that correlates closely with the grades you should expect to see on the quarterly report card. If you suspect that your child is struggling, don’t hesitate to call the school and request a meeting. If you wait until the first quarter report card arrives, it is too late to consider taking action. Ideally, changes in your child’s learning routine should take place in the weeks following the first progress report. During the fall, children build routines (both productive and unproductive) that they will be reluctant to change. This resistance can make it hard to build new routines. By adding a new member to your child’s academic team, you can stimulate positive change.
Can a tutor help?
The short answer is yes, under the right circumstances. Consider tutoring if you encounter any of the following situations:
1. Your child has an extended absence from a class in which critical learning objectives were discussed.
2. Your child shows repeated signs of declining performance on assignments, tests, and projects.
3. Your child will miss a week or more of school due to a family trip or extracurricular commitment.
4. You hear your child make any of the following statements on a regular basis: “I don’t understand what the teacher is talking about,” “I can’t remember anything we learn in class,” or “No matter how hard I study, I still fail the tests.”
Hiring a tutor is not an effective solution in any of the following situations:
1. Following the first low grade on an assignment, test, or project. Don’t jump the gun and assume the rest of the quarter will continue to produce poor results. The first few weeks of school require adjustments and some time to get acquainted with teachers and curriculum. Offer to help your child study for tests or complete assignments.
2. After the first few weeks of school when your child complains, “This class is too hard,” “The teacher doesn’t like me,” “I tried but I just don’t get it,” or “I understand the homework; I just don’t do well on the tests.” Again, kids need time to adjust to their new surroundings. Support your child’s transition to her new academic environment by having her review upcoming assignment due dates and the study plan for tests. Often kids need the security of knowing they have a plan to complete homework and study effectively for
tests.
3. Your child misses less than a week of school due to illness or an extracurricular commitment. When students miss less than a week of school, generally their teachers will provide a summary of the missed information. With the exception of a few advanced-level classes, most students can recover from missing less than a week of school by meeting privately with their teachers. They can also exchange emails with their teachers to ask questions about missed content if after-school hours don’t permit time for a face-to-face meeting. Check in with your child’s teachers after she returns to school to confirm that all missed work has been submitted.
Not all tutors are equal
If your budget will allow for the additional expense of a one-on-one tutoring experience, don’t hesitate to take this route. Rather than tacking on unnecessary driving time to a tutoring center, look for a tutor who will come to your home for a one-hour session. Working individually with a tutor gives a child the opportunity to ask in-depth questions, practice new skills, and receive immediate feedback about his progress. Learning in a familiar study space gives your child access to his regular set of supplies and allows for a more focused use of his learning time.
It’s fine to start by calling a friend for a recommendation; however, resist the temptation to move forward with a referral before you’ve made a personal review of the tutor’s qualifications.
Joe Bruzzese Page 8
