Release (Iris Series)

by Lynn, Rebecca

  Now, she’d chosen someone who was the complete opposite in personality, who had a hint of danger, and a past…and she felt like she was free falling without a net to catch her.

  She’d fallen in love again.

  Yes, that’s what she had done. She had taken a risk and fallen in love. She hadn’t meant to, but she did. And now she needed to figure out how she was going to protect herself. She wasn’t sure if she could survive another man leaving her. First her father, then Brent. They had both been ripped from her. She had had no say in their leaving.

  Now, however…she had a choice.

  Her feelings for Jeremy were so much more intense than those she had once had for Brent. With Jeremy, she was uninhibited…truly able to be herself. Perhaps she could survive his loss if she was the one who chose to leave. If he was planning on ending it that night after the gala, she needed to make sure that she ended it first.

  Because if he willingly chose to leave her, that would crush her.

  She turned off the faucets, and stood there, shivering in the steamy bathroom, her body at complete odds with the temperature surrounding it. She wrapped herself in a towel, and tried to warm herself.

  It was time to pull herself up by the bootstraps again. If he was going to end it tonight, she was going to make damn sure it wasn’t easy for him.

  …..

  At 7:30, Ryann walked back into the lobby of the Institute. The transformation was exquisite. She looked around at all of the guests arriving, and at the glamour of the clothing they were wearing.

  She herself was dressed to the nines. She had wanted to make sure she knocked Jeremy’s socks off. She chose to wear her best shoes again, the Brian Atwood taupe suede peep toe pumps, with a gold textured design overlay… the same ones she had worn to Tabitha’s showing, along with a sleek and fitted royal blue cocktail dress that fluted slightly above her knees. The capped fluted sleeves showed off her toned arms, and the plunging neckline showed off her cleavage. The dress definitely showed off her figure to its full advantage.

  She wore her hair down in a messy sexy tumble of auburn curls, and wore a long gold necklace ending just at her belly button. With matching earrings, a pale shimmery wrap and taupe evening bag that she bought with the shoes, her ensemble was complete.

  A moment after she arrived, Paul and Pete spotted her and walked over. They were both dressed in tuxedos and looked very dashing. She told them so.

  “Well, that’s nothin’ compared to you, sweetheart. Do a little turn for me, would ya?” Paul gave a low whistle. “You are smokin’ this evenin’, girlfriend. Has Jeremy seen ya yet?”

  Her stomach fluttered, and she plastered on a smile. “Nope. I don’t know if he’s back from Chicago yet, but he should be here soon.”

  “Well, shit. When he gets here, you’ll know it, because he’s not gonna leave your side with ya in that get up.”

  She rolled her eyes and thanked him for the compliment, her stomach a nervous wreck. She looked around at all the people. “How many people do you think are coming tonight?”

  “Usually they pull in around 400 or so.”

  “Wow. That many?”

  “Yup. This is the hottest ticket on the Lower East Side tonight.”

  “Nice,” she said as she looked around, and noticed Tabitha Lowe standing at the other end of the lobby. As if fate had willed it, they both made eye contact, and immediately smiled at each other, Tabitha waving her over.

  Ryann smiled back, and swallowed her nerves. How was she going to make it through a conversation with this woman whom she adored? The mother of the man she loved who was potentially about to dump her?

  Tough. She liked Tabitha. She excused herself from Paul and Pete, and made her way over.

  Just as she arrived within Tabitha’s circle, Tabitha reached out and gave her a huge hug. “Ryann,” she said in her ear. “It’s so good to see you again, honey.”

  She felt like she had known this woman forever.

  “It’s so good to see you, too,” she said with a genuine smile.

  “You look gorgeous. I can’t wait until Jem sees you.” She squeezed her hand.

  Ryann tried not to look surprised by the comment. She hadn’t known Jeremy told his mom about them. Or maybe she thought he hadn’t seen her since the showing two weeks earlier, and was trying to play matchmaker?

  “I don’t think you’ve met my husband, Will. Honey, this is Ryann,” Tabitha beamed.

  The tall distinguished older man reached out his hand and warmly shook it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ryann.”

  “Likewise,” Ryann said back with a smile.

  “And this,” Tabitha continued, “is Luke Daniels, a very old and dear friend of Jem’s.”

  The handsome, bronzed man with dark hair and clear blue eyes reached out his hand and took hers. He was tall like Jeremy, and was wearing a stylish and custom tailored tuxedo.

  “Not that old, Tabby,” he winked at Ryann. He looked to be in his early thirties like Jem. “Ryann, I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m so glad that we could finally meet.”

  “You’ve heard about me?” she asked with a smile, even though she was wary.

  “It’s all good, I promise.” Realizing that he was still holding her hand, he finally let go.

  How had he heard about her? Had Jeremy told him about her? A glimmer of hope took root. Or maybe Tabitha quickly told him about her while she was walking over?

  Her mental gymnastics was exhausting her again.

  “Well, I’m glad it was all good,” she said.

  “When is Jem supposed to get here? Do you know?” Tabitha asked Ryann.

  Maybe he had told his mom about them. He’d had dinner with her at the beginning of the week, so it was possible.

  “I’m pretty sure he should be here soon.”

  “Well, good. Have you gone in to see the painting yet?”

  “Actually, I had a chance to see it this afternoon. The private dealer who arranged for it to be brought here –”

  “Armand?” Tabitha asked, interrupting.

  “Yes.”

  She nodded with a controlled smile on her face. She would bet her life that Tabitha didn’t care for Armand, by the look on her face. “We all know Armand DiCarlo.”

  Ryann nodded and was slightly embarrassed. “Of course you do. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that.”

  Tabitha put her hand on Ryann’s arm, and said, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I was just letting you know we know who he is. Please, go on. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “Oh, well, he showed the painting to me this afternoon.”

  “Well, good. That was nice of him,” Tabitha said, clearing her throat. “How have you been adjusting to your schedule here?”

  “Good, good. Paul Schneider has been wonderful. I couldn’t have asked for a better mentor.”

  “Isn’t that the truth? Paul is the best. Really. You’re in good hands with him.”

  “Is your sister’s family coming tonight?”

  “Yes! They’ll all be here, so you get to say hello again. I can’t imagine that they won’t be here soon. These yearly fundraiser galas are a family affair, as you can imagine. All of the McCallisters and Callahans come out of the woodwork,” she beamed.

  “Great. It will be good to see them. Umm. I’m assuming you’ve figured out that I’m resigning from the Academy, but I haven’t done it yet. Is your sister connected in any way…?”

  “No…no…” Tabitha patted Ryann’s arm with her hand. “Don’t worry about the word getting out. Not only is she not connected to the Academy, even if she was, she would certainly be professional about it.”

  “Of course she would. I didn’t mean to imply…”

  Tabitha squeezed her arm again. “Ryann.” She paused. “Relax,” she whispered close to her, where the men, who were now engaged in conversation, couldn’t hear.

  “I’m sorry. I’m a little high strung tonight,” Ryann smiled nervously.

  “A
s soon as Jeremy gets here, you’ll be fine,” Tabitha said, giving her a squeeze.

  Ryann wasn’t too sure. “I’m going to run to the restroom. Would you mind excusing me?”

  “Of course. We’ll chat again later.”

  Ryann smiled and excused herself from the group. She didn’t want to use the bathrooms in the lobby. She needed a moment to herself, so she headed back to the bathrooms by the Admin offices. When she arrived, she took a moment to turn on the light, and enjoy the coolness of the room. The silence. She looked in the mirror.

  She would make it through this.

  She used the facilities, and just as she was drying her hands, she received a text.

  The butterflies let loose. It was from Jeremy.

  JM: Hey. I’m here. Where r u?

  Her heart was racing.

  RT: I’m in the restroom. Where r u?

  She waited. He texted back almost immediately.

  JM: Looking for u. Meet me under the chandelier in the lobby in 5.

  Ryann put her hand to her heart to calm herself. She took one last look in the mirror and touched up her makeup. Then she took a deep breath and walked out the bathroom door.

  She wound herself down the Admin hallway, but stopped when she heard some people talking. Normally, people talking wouldn’t have stopped her. But it was the name she heard from a woman’s voice that did.

  “Our time in Boston together was too brief, Jem. When are we going to set up another time to see each other?”

  A buzzing sound whooshed into Ryann’s head. Her breathing picked up, and the rapid rise and fall of her breath caused a tightness in her chest. She continued walking slowly toward the voices.

  She heard Jeremy chuckle. “I need to talk to her first, Tiff. I’m supposed to be meeting her right now, so I gotta go. How long are you here for, again?”

  Ryann could just see their profiles. He had his hands loosely clasped around the woman’s waist. A beautiful tall woman, with long black hair, wearing a strapless floor length red gown. There was a slit up the side exposing her leg.

  They were standing in the alcove leading into the Dean’s office. Ryann was trying to fight off the hyperventilation.

  “I’m thinking of moving back permanently. What would you think of that?” she asked him saucily, giving him a wink.

  He chuckled again, and shook his head. “You know I would love that. Now, I gotta go. We’ll finish this later, ok?”

  “You bet, baby,” she said with confidence. “Call me soon, and let me know how it went.”

  She reached up and stroked his cheek with her hand, and he covered it with his own, looking down at her with tenderness and love. There was such intimacy there. She had called him Jem.

  Ryann stumbled back into the wall, as pain ripped through her.

  Jeremy turned abruptly. “Ryann?” His face registered surprise, then fear in a split second.

  She ran.

  “Ryann! Wait! Dammit…”

  She just ran, down the hall, into the lobby and through the people, right for the door.

  “Ryann?” Armand stepped out of nowhere.

  “I need to get out of here,” she said, nearly hysterical.

  “Come on. This way.” He pulled her, and took her out a side entrance away from the main thoroughfare. Once they were outside, she leaned against the outer wall, and reached her hands down to her knees, taking in huge gulps of air.

  “What happened? Are you ok?”

  “Please, I can’t talk. I just need to get out of here.”

  “Of course. Let’s go down this side street. I’ll get a cab and take you home.”

  “No.” She leaned up, gripping the wall behind her. “You need to stay. Just get me a cab. I’ll be fine. I just…feel a little sick.”

  Then she fought back a sob, and she couldn’t stop herself. She felt torn in two.

  Damn him. Damn him for being another man to leave her...for taking away her choice. She couldn’t breathe.

  “I’m taking you home, bella. Come on.” He led her away from the side of the building.

  Just as she pushed away from the wall, she heard Jeremy’s ringtone on her phone. She tore at her bag looking for it.

  “I feel like makin’ love…”

  A keening sound tore from her throat as she found the phone and silenced it. She was breathing heavily, and tried to calm herself. She was light headed, as she followed Armand, his hand engulfing hers as he pulled her along.

  He gave her a knowing look. “It’s for the best, Ryann. Come on, let’s get you home. It will be alright. I promise.”

  While she stood on the adjacent block to the Institute, she stared off into the distance, remembering the look that Jeremy and the woman shared, and the look on his face when she’d discovered them.

  She closed her eyes, as the quiet tears streamed down her face. Armand opened the door to the cab, and they got in, whisking them away from the Institute...and the man who’d torn her heart in two.

  PART TWO

  16 YEARS EARLIER

  Travis wants to spend 7 minits in heven with you. Check one.

  ____ ok ____ not ok

  Eleven year old Ryann Fiona Campbell reread the note that Jason Cather had passed her in Mrs. Cardella’s first period English class. His spelling was horrible. That should have been her first warning not to listen to him.

  Stupid boys. Why couldn’t they be normal human beings? They were such jerks.

  Ryann recalled the moments from recess earlier in the day, when Travis yanked her pony tail so hard it nearly ripped her head off of her shoulders, then he pushed her and tried to steal her notebook. Jerk. She didn’t know why she had such a crush on him. He was always so mean to her.

  When she got the note from Jason, she was giddy with excitement, and had checked ‘ok.’ But when she saw Travis after lunch, he was his same jerky self.

  The bus was finally coming to her stop, and she turned to her new best friend Ayanna Sarin to say goodbye.

  “Boys are assholes, Ryann,” she said flipping her beautiful hair over her shoulder, fluffing it with her fingers. Then she dug through her purse to take out her lip gloss and coat her lips with the goop. She didn’t know what Ayanna was getting all dolled up for. They were just going home, for crying out loud. But she had stood up for her the year before when Marcy Sherman had made fun of her for her dad walking out on them, so she cut her some slack.

  “What you need to find is a man.”

  Ryann rolled her eyes. “I’m eleven, Yan.”

  Ayanna shrugged. “Fine. Then don’t complain.”

  Ryann got off the bus, and walked up to the front door of her suburban New Jersey home, all the while cursing every male alive.

  She hadn’t allowed herself to cry in front of Travis. Her mom always said that boys didn’t like seeing girls cry. It made them uncomfortable. But now that she was home, she could let loose.

  She walked in the front door, saw her mom in the living room, then stomped up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door, embracing the frustration of pissed off eleven year old girls everywhere.

  A couple of seconds later, her mom knocked, then walked in.

  Riley Campbell sat down next to her daughter on the bed. “What’s this?” she asked, wiping the tears streaming down Ryann’s face. “You had a bad day, then?” she asked with her Scottish brogue.

  “What do you think?” Ryann mumbled. “I hate boys,” she sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

  Her mother sighed. “Ah, luv. They are a different breed, aren’t they?” Pause. “Was it this Marsh lad, then?”

  “He’s such a jerk,” Ryann said vehemently. “He’s always pulling my hair, or stealing something of mine…” She punched her pillow and laid her head down facing the wall.

  Her mother chuckled softly, then ran her hand over her daughter’s auburn curls. Ryann loved it when her mother played with her hair.

  “You need to be patient, Ree. Laddies just don’t know how to express themselves when t
hey like a lass. They’re a wee bit out of sorts, when it comes to making their true feelings known. The first crush is always the hardest...for the lad and the lass. That’s why they call them crushes…because they hurt so badly.”

  “I don’t ever want to fall in love again. It sucks.”

  Her mother looked gently at her daughter. “Ah, come now. Someday you’ll find someone who deserves your love, Ree. Someone who will make your heart sing, and bring you a passion that you’ve never experienced before. A passion that will make you feel alive, and see the world with a new set of eyes.”

  Ryann looked up at her mom, and watched her stare off into space. She knew her mom was thinking of her father.

  “Passion and love are always worth the risk, Ree. There are times it may not work out…because that’s life. But when you feel that excitement, and life? When it works out? When it does, luv,” her mom looked off into space, with a smile on her face, and breathed, “what a glorious thing it is…”

  Chapter 24

  Present Day

  Ryann stared out the window of the cab framing the rush of Friday night traffic of the Lower East Side, like a frenzied abstract painting to be admired.

  However, she could find no joy in it that evening.

  She knew Armand was holding her hand, but she couldn’t feel it. Her thoughts were consumed with the past 10 minutes of her life. The agony, the absolute despair that was engulfing her, pulling her deeper into a pit, of which she feared, she’d never get out.

  She had stopped crying, almost as quickly as she had started. She was embarrassed that Armand had seen her this way…especially since he’d predicted this very thing to happen so early on. Everyone had hinted at Jeremy’s true character, but she hadn’t wanted to believe them. She had wanted to believe that what they’d had was different.

  But it wasn’t. Armand had been right. She was just another one of his toys…and he had many of them.

  The woman had said that they had seen each other in Boston. And all the while he had been texting her, calling her, telling her he missed her.

  A sound escaped, and Armand squeezed her hand. She pulled her hand from his, and turned away.