by L. Penelope
Chapter Fourteen
INSIDE CALEB’S arms is a cocoon where the rest of the world doesn’t exist. No angels, no Wasteland, nothing but the two of us in this bed.
His fingers trace patterns on my skin. I’m so relaxed I don’t even flinch when he lifts my left arm and traces the long scar there.
“Will you tell me how you got this?” he asks.
I snuggle into his side and tell him about Natasha, about being sent to the psychiatric hospital, the doctors and the drugs. Eventually, I’d regretted not choosing juvie. When they think you’re crazy, dangerous and crazy, they can keep you as long as they want. They’d said “indefinitely,” and it sounded like forever.
“How long were you there?” he asks.
“Thirteen months.” I shiver involuntarily.
“Why did they release you?”
“I convinced them I was better, that I didn’t see them anymore. That everyone I saw was alive. Because I’d been there a while, I’d figured out who was who, and I could just ignore the dead ones. Out here, it’s harder, so I mostly just ignore everyone.”
He cradles my useless hand in his, stroking it. I feel his touch, but from far away, like there’s interference in the signal going from my skin to my brain.
I wish I could stretch this moment out and exist inside his embrace forever. I tilt my face up and search his eyes. “When you go back, I want you to fight for one of those new souls. Those people, they had their chance. You can get one. You’re stronger than they are.” Tears fill my eyes as I plead with him. They pool in his as well.
“They’re very rare. Even with my powers, I’d have to be — ”
“Promise me. We might not be able to share a soul, but we can still find each other again, can’t we?” I say.
“I promise I’ll try.” He leans down to kiss me. The kiss is gentle, full of promises unspoken, impossible desires. I want to hold him forever. I want to be able to live lifetimes with him. But I can’t.
My soul is probably too broken to share with anyone anyway, even if it was possible.
A knock on the door shatters the moment.
“Dear Maia. Halfling. Open the door. I have a surprise for you.”
I turn to Caleb, eyes wide, our expressions both holding the same question. What does Helix want?
We dress quickly, and Caleb opens the door, standing protectively in front of me. Helix stands there with Genna at his side. The earlier guilt, which I’d forgotten, wraps strong fingers around my throat and squeezes. Caleb reaches back to grab my hand, and a narrow airway opens, allowing me to breathe.
I take another look at Genna. Her tear-streaked face is miserable. Mascara runs down her cheeks, and her hair is disheveled.
She sniffles, and Helix pushes her forward gently. She ignores me in her rush forward to embrace Caleb. He stands there awkwardly while I watch, wide-eyed, not sure what’s happening. Helix’s signature smug grin gives no clues.
“I’m so sorry,” Genna gushes. “I had no idea. Helix showed me, he showed me everything. That place, I can’t believe you survived there for so long.”
“You showed her the Wasteland?” Caleb’s voice is tense.
Helix leans against the doorframe casually. “Yes. Your plight touched my heart. I did what I could to help.” He glances at me and winks, and whatever bit of joy that had wedged its way inside me fractures.
Is he getting back at me for breaking our deal? By what? Giving me what I wanted in the first place? Is this my punishment for stealing someone’s soul mate? I take a step back. Pain, like shrapnel, hits me and splinters into a thousand pieces as Genna says the words.
“Caleb, I bind my soul to you for all eternity.”
The room is silent, except for her shallow breaths.
She’s still wrapped around him, but he turns toward me and I can’t look. I can’t. I spin on my heel to face the window, unable to control the tears.
It’s done.
She said the words.
She’s a good person. She couldn’t let him go back there. I knew it. And now he’s hers forever.
Never mine. He never was.
My chest feels like it will open up and spill all of my organs to the ground. I hold back a sob and hug my arms around my body to keep everything inside. He’s free. That’s all that matters.
He’s free.
Out the window, two lights zig and zag their way down from the sky. They’re both bright and dark at the same time. I can’t explain it, but it’s like their brightness comes from the absence of light instead of the presence. If black holes moved through the sky, this is what they might look like.
“Caleb, they’re here. The Vultures.” I risk facing him, but his expression makes me wish I hadn’t. His face is unyielding, his eyes tormented. But the Vultures can’t do anything to him now; he finally has a soul.
The dark lights streak through the window, and suddenly the tiny dorm room is very crowded. The strange glowing seems to fold in on itself, and then they’re there in human form. Well, not exactly human.
The Vultures are enormous. They stand with their heads brushing the ceiling. They must be close to nine feet tall and are all brawn, their enormous arms and legs covered with molded leather armor. Large black wings lie folded against their backs. This strikes me as odd. I wonder why Helix doesn’t have any wings.
They wear masks covering the top half of their faces, leaving only their twisted, sneering mouths visible. But what makes me trip over myself to back away from them are the gleaming swords they hold in both hands. Their obsidian blades are nearly as tall as I am.
My mouth goes dry. No one else moves, except for Helix, who steps up to them.
“Alas, I’m afraid you’re too late. The halfling has bound with his soul mate.” He sweeps an arm back at Genna, who still clings to Caleb. Her jaw hangs open, eyes blinking rapidly at the sudden appearance of the Vultures.
The two dark angels say nothing, but raise their arms, each lifting a sword higher into the air.
“Wait — what’s happening?” I ask. “What are they doing?”
Helix frowns. The Vultures begin lowering their swords toward Caleb; the black metal expands as inky flames swarm around the blade.
“He’s bound!” I cry. “You can’t take him!”
They’re not paying attention to me, and Helix merely shakes his head and steps out of the way.
Caleb’s chin is high. He’s staring down the huge angels. There’s fear in his gaze, but also resignation. He gently pulls Genna from him and pushes her away. Helix takes her hand and draws her to the doorway, out of the way of the Vultures and their swords.
“Caleb, what’s happening?”
“They say I’m not bound. It didn’t work.”
I haven’t heard them say anything, but perhaps human speech is beneath them.
“But she said the words. I heard her.”
Caleb shakes his head — he doesn’t know. His eyes overflow with sorrow. “I’m sorry, Maia. I love you.”
“No!” I scream as the dark flames lick the blades. They’re building up angelfire to blast him with, to send him back to the Wasteland. But he needs more time — maybe the binding isn’t immediate, maybe it takes a few minutes. Or maybe she said the wrong words, maybe they need to be in a certain language. All I know is it can’t end for him yet. Not if I can buy him a little more time.
“Caleb, run!”
As their swords explode in a blaze of black fire, I rush toward him, vaulting my body in front of his. The angelfire blasts my chest, breaking through me, tearing me apart bit by bit. I hope that a few more moments are all he needs to figure things out.
Then, everything goes black.
* * *
My eyes are closed, I think, but pinpricks of brightness still spear them. I cover my face with my hands, but that doesn’t help. The light softens, and I risk opening my eyes. It’s still too bright to see much, but it’s fading fast.
“Rise,” a soothing voice says, and I obey.
I stand up and find myself still in Caleb’s room, but now my own body is below me on the ground, with Caleb’s arms wrapped around me. He screams and cries. The Vultures are still there, but frozen as if someone put them on pause. Helix and Genna are nowhere to be found.
“Are you ready?” the voice says. I turn to meet it. The fading light reveals the figure of a woman. Black hair cascades down her back, and obsidian eyes regard me. Her heart-shaped face holds no emotion, but her voice seems kind. Not as scary as you’d think for an Angel of Death.
“Onyx?”
She blinks. If she’s surprised I know her name, she doesn’t show it. I look back at the scene around me. My choice is clear. Go with the Angel of Death or haunt the world. It’s not really a choice at all, but I don’t want to leave him yet.
“Can I go to the Wasteland?” Then at least we could be together.
Onyx’s brow furrows at my question. “That is not possible. Your soul prevents it.”
Tears fill my eyes, odd since I no longer have a body, but I swipe them away. I’ve never been so weepy. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”
“You do not have much time,” she says.
I bite my lip and take another look at Caleb, still holding me on the ground. I never got to tell him I loved him. He’d said the words and I hadn’t. Was regret the reason the dead stayed behind, hoping for another chance to say the things they should have said?
I want to reach out and touch him, feel his skin on mine one last time, but I know it’s useless. I have to go with her. I won’t be stuck haunting the earth. He wouldn’t want that.
Suddenly, Helix is there, standing next to Onyx.
“Dear Maia, you’re going to go with her?”
“What other choice is there? I don’t want to, but I can’t stay here.” I’m not sure if the angelfire caused the pain I still feel in my chest or if it’s just grief.
“What do you want?” His voice isn’t taunting. I peer up at him. For the first time ever, he appears truly sincere. There is only one answer to give.
“Caleb.”
“And what would you do to be with him?”
Helix’s blue eyes pin me into place. “Anything.”
“You would share your soul?”
Maybe he is taunting me after all. Maybe this is just more entertainment for him, but the idea of being Caleb’s soul mate quiets the agony raging inside me. “Of course. If I could, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
Helix turns to Onyx. Her expression doesn’t change, but I feel anger coming off her. She begins to glow again, so fast it’s like an explosion, and then she bolts away without another word, like a lightning strike from the ground to the ceiling.
“What just happened?” I ask.
Helix smiles. “You’re coming with me.”
* * *
I clutch Maia’s body to me, reaching deep inside her with my remaining power, hoping against hope that I’ll be able to heal her. Hoping I didn’t really see the life draining out of her eyes. Everything inside me is broken. Tears rush down my face and fall onto her limp form. I cradle her in my arms, remembering every detail of every moment we spent together. Wondering why she sacrificed herself for me.
That thought makes me look up to the Vultures who stand there, still frozen as if time has stopped for them. She’d told me to run. She was trying to give me one more chance, but where would I go without her? At least now I can have those last moments with her to replay over and over again. For eternity.
I cannot heal her, though I drain my angelic powers trying. I feel them slip away, little by little, as I pour what’s left into Maia, and then they’re gone. I’m fully human and soulless now. I only hold onto Maia tighter.
She should have had more from this life. I only hope that she will be happier in the next one.
I kiss her forehead and take in her scent. Fill my nostrils trying to hold on to any piece of her I can. My eyes close, my lips still on her. I try to say goodbye.
A brightness shines behind my eyelids. When I open them, Maia’s body glows in my arms. The light radiates from her chest and brightens until a tiny, brilliant pulse wriggles its way out of her and shoots into me. I gasp and look up to find Helix standing beside me.
“What was that?”
His manner is oddly solemn. “Your soul.”
“My soul?”
“Now you will find her again. In the next life.”
My heart almost stops beating; my whole body is numb with fear and hope. “But she wasn’t my one.”
He crouches down to stroke Maia’s hair. “Kalyx and the Destinies have their beliefs. But they’re dreamers by nature, and believing something doesn’t make it true. So you felt a spark when you first saw Vivian? That’s what humans call attraction. That doesn’t mean she’s your forever-through-time soul mate. She may have loved you, but Maia gave her life for you. If that’s not a soul mate, I don’t know what is.”
His words break me open and make me whole again all at once. Maia still lies motionless, but I stroke her cheek. Anticipation teeters at the edge of my consciousness. “So I’ll meet her again?”
Helix nods.
Relief floods me. She will be different in another life, but I will recognize her. I know nothing, not even death, can keep us apart.
Helix rises and turns away.
“Wait. Thank you.”
He shrugs. “No need. Just doing my job.”
“Your job? Which guild are you?”
He smiles that Cheshire cat smile again. “I’m an Angel of Resurrection,” he says. “One of the last, as a matter of fact.”
My jaw drops open. A Resurrection? Impossible. The elite band within the Angels of Life was said to have been disbanded by the Seraphim many cycles ago. “But I thought — ”
“And now I must be off. Perhaps I’ll go check in on your friend, the other halfling. I wonder if he’ll be as entertaining as you were?” And then with a chuckle, he disappears, changing into his angel form, invisible to my human eyes.
In my arms, Maia shudders and gasps in a breath. My heart, already resigned to having to wait years to see her again, swells to capacity and then bursts. Her breathing is ragged, as if she’s just run a mile. She opens her eyes and blinks, confused.
“You’re back.” I breathe out the words, not trusting my voice.
I help her up to a sitting position and notice for the first time that we’re alone in the room. The Vultures disappeared somewhere along the way.
I wrap Maia in an embrace and feel her body, warm and alive, against mine. Any tension I held melts away, replaced with pure joy.
“Maia, you shared your soul with me.”
“It worked?” Her voice is weak, but her grip on me is strong.
“Yes, it worked.”
She pulls back and searches my eyes. “Why didn’t it work with Genna?”
“Because I didn’t love her. I thought I did, but you were always the one I was thinking of. You had already taken over my heart, so she couldn’t have bound me.”
“I have your heart?” Her voice is small, as if she’s unsure.
“Forever. You have my heart forever, Maia. And now we have forever to prove it.”
Epilogue
THE LEAVES SCURRY AWAY from us at the mercy of the wind as Caleb and I walk hand in hand down the street. Our joined hands are a reminder of how different things have been this past month. For one, Caleb has actually enrolled in school and is taking his own classes. Though his powers are gone, he has an uncanny knack for convincing people to do things for him. He navigated both getting accepted to college mid-semester and getting scholarship money so well he must have had unseen supernatural help.
We stop in front of the building, and my nerves flutter in my belly. Caleb squeezes my hand. “I’m the one who should be nervous. You say she’s the closest thing you have to family, right?”
I nod.
“Well, then, it’s like I’m meeting the parents.” He grins, and it sets me at ease. I’m not
sure why I’m so anxious — Rosie loves everyone. Even me, and that’s been a chore for a long time.
We head up the steps, but I pause in the doorway to look back. No one stands in the middle of the street nursing an angry wound. There are no vacant stares or shuffling addicts or screaming murder victims. The only oddly dressed people are the pre-teens walking and texting at the same time. Everyone I see is one hundred percent alive. Somehow, when Helix brought me back, he changed my ability. It’s not gone, but I can control it now. I can choose to see or not see, like opening and closing a set of internal eyelids.
I don’t want to see now. Not yet. But maybe one day, when I can figure out a way to help them. To save the dead from burning out and being sent to the Wasteland.
Rosie greets us in the hallway and gives Caleb a warm hug when I introduce them. She waggles her eyebrows over his shoulder at me.
“He’s hot!” she mouths. “Good job.” I just chuckle.
“Before we go to lunch, I have something for you,” she says. Her gaze is cautious, and it sets me on alert.
“What is it?”
“It’s from your father. He sent some things a few weeks ago, and I’ve been waiting to give them to you.” She darts a glance at Caleb. “I think now may be the right time.”
The mention of my dad makes me go cold. He’s been in and out of jail most of my life. I haven’t seen him since I was six years old. Caleb grabs my hand again and just like that, I’m warm.
I shrug. “What did he send?”
She leads us into her office, cramped and overflowing with papers. For some reason, I’ve never wanted to organize for her. The stacks of folders and towers of documents never triggered that overwhelming need. Maybe because I’ve always known that each person in each file represents someone Rosie is helping. I do straighten the calendar on the wall as I pass, though, because that’s just too much.
She digs out a thick envelope and hands it to me. I perch on the edge of the only free chair in the room, Caleb next to me. My hands shake as I open the envelope.
