Deserved

by Victoria Johns

  The third button meant I could pull the coat open wider and give him a peek at my nipples. The fourth button allowed me to run a fingernail around my tummy button, just to lure him in a little further, and the last button was the game changer. It had him stepping closer to me, getting involved and helping me reveal my bareness to him in all my glory.

  Tommy still hadn’t said a word, so I slowly walked around him, swirling the untied belt slowly.

  “Are you sure you don’t wanna play?” I carried on, moving towards the stairs, flinging one shoe off and then the other. Looking back, I popped a finger in between my red lips and then kicked the other shoe off. Halfway up the stairs, I shed the coat and knew I’d broken him. He was coming for me.

  “Fuck it. You started this, Lacey. You,” I heard him say. I took a guess after I passed the bathroom and Carly’s pink palace that the other closed door was his bedroom, and wandered in, lying down on his bed. When Tommy walked in, he was a different guy. The mood I’d set had hooked him and he was getting into it. He wanted this as much as I did.

  “Little Lacey, I’m gonna take my time pleasing you. We’ve done quick, we’ve done off road and now we’re going to do whatever the fuck I want because you walked in here knowing I would. You risked someone else seeing my pussy by baring it under that coat. That type of behavior has repercussions and rewards. What do you think you deserve, little Lacey? A repercussion or a reward?”

  It was like visiting an ice cream parlor and being faced with an impossible choice of flavors. The siren-like pose I was trying to pull off was in danger of becoming a sagging mess of undecided goo.

  “Tell me,” he prompted.

  “Both, Tommy. I deserve both.” I watched him strip. His manly movements weren’t meant to be erotic, but they were teasing and like I’d been to him earlier, it was becoming unbearable. I watched his ass disappear into the en-suite and with a renewed cockiness, he sauntered back in and threw down a couple of condoms on the nightstand.

  Oh my. Two.

  Yes, please.

  Tommy had succeeded in finding a side of me I refused to be ashamed of. Reading copious sex ridden romance novels and the outing of female sexuality had taught me to embrace my feelings and live it, breathe it, feel it. He joined me on the bed and took his time touching every inch of my body. He was on a mission to make me squirm and if his goal was to have me begging, he would succeed very soon if he kept going.

  By the time he put on the condom, I was clawing at him to ease the tension he’d created, and his own body was displaying signs of extreme excitement. His skin was flushed, and the stubble on his chin was smeared in red lipstick stains, as were his shoulders, collarbone and pecs. His dick was bolt upright and oozing, and when I touched the tip of my finger to it, to collect what was pooling there, he watched as I slowly pulled it back and popped it in my mouth. He was done for and his reaction proved it as he rushed to get me into position, but then entered me delicately and slowly. He planted his hands by my head and his movements were slow and precise, like he was intent on feeling every inch of my insides.

  When I changed the angle of my hips, we groaned together, both of us feeling the extra sensation in depth. I held his eyes for as long as I could, only closing them when it all become too much.

  “Open them,” he requested gently for the first time. “Let me lose myself in those eyes and see what I do to you.”

  I complied instantly, and just as he asked, I fell apart completely under his searching gaze, causing his eyes to react with an emotion I’d never seen before. I watched as he spilled his seed inside me, while his eyes never left mine.

  Tommy Sevens

  “Shit, fuck. What time is it? Wake up, Lacey.”

  I looked around dazed and confused as to where I was, why Lacey was lying next to me and why it was still light but I felt spent. Relief spread through me that even though we’d dozed off, in reality, only an hour had passed. Lacey’s beautiful body was wrapped around me and if I’d said it was awkward or uncomfortable, I’d have been lying.

  The reason for my abrupt awakening banged again.

  “Lace, stay here. Someone’s at the door.” She mumbled incoherently back at me as I grabbed my jeans and ran down the stairs. My heart plummeted when I opened the door to the towering figures of Oli Hart and Jonas Drakeson.

  “Looks like we’re interrupting so we’ll keep this brief.” Jonas smirked. I understood his joy immediately. If I was hooking up with someone, anyone other than his wife, he was the winner.

  I stepped aside and let them pass, catching my reflection in the hallway mirror. My hair was standing on end, I had red lipstick smudged all over my fucking face and torso, and because things could get worse, they did. I was covered in fucking scratches and had claw marks across my abdomen.

  “Judging by the debris, I’d say you’ve found a live wire,” Oli said, indicating the coat on the stairs and the shoes lying where Lacey had kicked them off. Confusion crossed his face for a brief second when he saw the shoes, but he shook it off.

  “Like you were saying, I have a few precious hours while Carly is out and I’m in the middle of something. What’s up?”

  I was attempting to throw my voice. I needed Lacey to stay put and nearly shit myself when I thought Tula might be parked in the driveway, only to remember the car hadn’t been there earlier when I did the sweep of the street and breathe in relief.

  “We have news,” Oli began. “DNA test is a slam dunk. Kid is yours.”

  I slumped against the wall, sending thanks up to a fucking God who’d never looked out for me or given me anything for as long as I could remember. Fuck that, though. He’d come through for me when it really mattered, even if I’d had to wait thirty odd years.

  “Congrats, motherfucker, welcome to parenting hell. Daughters are no joke, but fortunately you get to go through the adolescent trials and tribulations before me.” Jonas laughed.

  “I’ll take my one twelve-year-old over your two mischief makers any day,” I returned. “Surely that message could have been delivered over the phone, text, carrier pigeon or even just via Oli. Get to the point please.”

  “Still no word on Gloria,” Jonas began and I shrugged, showing no real surprise. “But Maisie is in a world of hurt. A guy I set on her trail confirms she is having way too much fun with the Rough Riders. Although I’m not sure it’s fun because she barely leaves the compound, is servicing them in the expected manner and is apparently into them for a big debt. It seems Maisie thought coke comes for free when you attend biker parties.”

  Fucking hell, this was not good news. “What’s that got to do with Carly?”

  “Could just be a matter of timing and she or Gloria doing the last good deed of their lives.” I made a sort of snorting sound and tried to tame my matted hair while I contemplated it all. “That’s my view, too. It’s too coincidental with Gloria going to ground. I’ve got an old army buddy in the Riders so I’m gonna see if I can get some more information, because something isn’t sitting right. If she wanted you to have her, all legit, while she went off and partied on, she could have told you that.”

  “True. Okay, man, appreciate your efforts.”

  “In the meantime,” Oli interjected, “get Carly into school where she’s surrounded. Sonny and Flo can keep an eye on her, and try not to leave her alone the rest of the time.”

  His suggestion made my blood run cold. “Why? You think she’s in danger?”

  “I’m undecided,” reported Jonas. “But if the mother is being pressed to pay a debt, who knows what she’ll do? And fresh meat is good currency in biker clubs. A young girl would be one hell of a repayment plan.”

  “You are fucking kidding me,” I shouted. “Do not even suggest that shit.”

  “Hey, calm the fuck down. You have a guest,” Oli reminded me. “J’s just covering all possibilities because that’s the type of cheery guy he is and we protect our own. I know she’s still spending a lot of time with Lacey, but I don’t want her worrie
d about this. I’ll get Lottie to have a chat with her about being sensible. If we don’t have to tell her then we shouldn’t.”

  Hearing her name caused an unexpected frisson of panic. Panic because she was upstairs listening and panic because she was upstairs and had been naked and underneath me less than two hours ago. And more importantly, panic that my shit could put her life in danger. That was just another reason why this thing we were doing was a bad fucking idea. Unfortunately, that panic was waging war with my cock, which was clearly unhappy that our time together was about to come to an end before it had really begun.

  I knew it was for the best, but the thought of shutting it down still hurt.

  “Earth to Tommy. Shit, we’re done. This motherfucker has ass on his mind. Let’s leave him to it.” Jonas chuckled.

  They were right. This could be dangerous for so many reasons and as hard as it was going to be, I needed to pull the plug.

  Lacey Talbot

  I nearly tried to climb out of the bedroom window the second I realized the voices downstairs belonged to Oli and Jonas, but as soon as rational thinking kicked in, I realized they weren’t coming to storm the place because I was upstairs. As quietly as possible, I grabbed the discarded sheet, wrapped myself in it and tiptoed to the top of the stairs. I took a seat on the last step and listened to the man who had become like a father to me, and Jonas Drakeson, the reserved yet most menacingly lethal guy I’d ever known.

  I was shocked when I heard that they’d called to deliver DNA results. Tommy actually doubted that Carly was his. I thought they’d come to some kind of agreement, especially as I’d noticed she’d been calling him Dad instead of Tommy. Hearing it for the first time had warmed my heart. I loved that the guy I was falling for had found a relationship with the child who had been dumped on his doorstep. It gave me hope for all the other kids who were once like me, that they too could be loved. It seemed that Tommy had done that for both of us orphan girls. This guy was sneaking into my heart, creeping into the crevices of my soul without me noticing and with very little effort.

  When the subject moved to the possibility of Carly being in danger, I didn’t feel so calm and hopeful. My studies and years of being surrounded by vulnerable kids kicked in and I had to remind myself that Jonas was just working on the worst-case scenario. It had been clear to me from a young age that anything in life was possible, and some gutter dwellers treated human life like worthless pieces of trash. Learning to grow up and come to terms with that myself was something I was proud of. I’d managed to overcome it. Once I realized I was better off with Annie and deserved more than my own mother could give me, I became fully invested and would all but bleed everyday to make sure I’d earned my place in her house. I made it my mission to give them as much as they’d given me.

  “No point asking whether you heard that,” Tommy commented when he appeared at the bottom of the stairs. The look on his face wasn’t the same as when he’d left me, and he seemed angry that I’d eavesdropped. It if hadn’t been for the seriousness of his demeanor, I could have easily been distracted by his just tumbled out of bed look. His tight jeans and toned chest were playing havoc with my concentration levels.

  “You took a DNA test?”

  “Smart thing to do,” he replied in a condescending manner, like he was talking to a ten-year-old.

  “I know that, but you still let her call you Dad,” I told him, failing to hide my puzzlement. If the test had gone the other way, Carly could have been broken even more.

  “I did. We had an open and honest discussion. She knows about the test and she also knows that the result is irrelevant. She has a place here with me no matter what.”

  His kind words were skewed by his off manner. Add that to his reluctance to come anywhere near me, and I was beginning to feel nervous. I opened my mouth a couple of times to ask the question, but I wasn’t brave enough and that was when he started to climb the stairs. I waited until he was sat next to me and then noticed that even though he was right there, he couldn’t have been any further away if he’d been next door.

  “Ask it?” he said.

  “Can we have an open and honest discussion?”

  “It feels like it’s time.”

  “This. Us. What is it?”

  “Good question. Although I’m not sure you’ll like the answer I need to give you,” he said, rubbing his palms over his face. I could smell him as he sat near me. His scent was right there, next to me, around me and on me, but the fact that he wasn’t actually touching me gave me the real answer he was avoiding.

  “I think you get that I like you. Really like you, Tommy,” I whispered, feeling like a high school girl approaching her crush and being brave enough to declare her feelings.

  “I know, and I’m fond of you, too.”

  Fond.

  Fucking fond.

  You use the term fond when you’re talking about someone you used to be friends with, and we’d never been friends. We’d said hi to each other at gatherings and the like, but that was it. Carly had brought us together and I loved that we’d found that bond, but it seemed he was finished with me. She would get to keep him and I would lose him. I fought against every female instinct that made me want to weep on the spot, but I knew I couldn’t let him see what his poor choice of words was doing to me. I’d gone from feeling like I deserved to have his love in my life to feeling dismissed on the simplest and most hurtful level.

  “What the hell does that mean?” I shouted.

  “Lace, come on… Shit, we knew this was a bad idea when we hooked up the first time. I’m too old for you. In fact I’m as old as the fucking guy who was just here. You know, the one who considers you his responsibility.”

  And in less than a minute he’d chosen another disastrous turn of phrase. All this time I’d thought I was discovering something I wanted, but for him I was just another hook up. The pain I felt trickling through my body was so intense I found it hard to hide just what he’d done to me.

  “You’re not too old. That’s bullshit. Stop making fucking excuses.”

  “You knew what this was. It’s run its course. Lacey, honey, I don’t know what else to tell you.”

  The way he was just sat there like I was unimportant all of a sudden, being brushed aside after what we’d just done in the room behind us was what upset me the most. Unless I’d been seeing things that didn’t exist or over thinking things, he had definitely been acting like he was feeling something for me, too. The way he was treating me now was worse than when Kyle had felt me up in the corner of Purps. I felt used, like I’d been played. Tommy was wrong when he fucked me in the woods that night. He’d told me that guys would use me, but he didn’t explain that they’d fuck with my mind as well as my body.

  I couldn’t sit and listen to this. I wouldn’t let him belittle what I’d been and make me feel like some kid who didn’t understand the rules of the game. It was time to protect myself and I knew how to do that. I’d had years and years of practice with better game players than Tommy Sevens. I’d had little orphan Annie training and those life lessons were engraved on my soul, every part of it.

  I stood up, wrapping the sheet tighter around me. I felt embarrassed all of a sudden that he might catch of glimpse of something he’d thought was desirable only hours ago, but now, he’d taken a pass.

  “Lacey, wait,” he tried, but I ignored him, feeling even more bereft and ridiculous when I remembered that I’d come here naked, like a whore. My limited clothing options were now strewn around the house. I didn’t look at him as I clutched the sheet even tighter and padded down the stairs in search of the raincoat. “Let’s talk about this. I don’t want it ending on a bad note.”

  His attempts to talk to me were not making things any better. It was just beginning to piss me off.

  “You’re right, Tommy. My bad. I’m sorry I didn’t realize this was past its sell-by date for you.”

  “Fuck!” he shouted. “I didn’t mean it like that.” I was putting on the coat
as he came down the stairs. By the time he was stood in front of me, I was doing up the buttons far more quickly than the strip tease I’d performed earlier. I grabbed the belt and tied it so tightly around my waist that I was convinced it could offer me an extra layer of protection from him. I located one shoe and then the other before heading for the door. All the while, he was still hovering behind me, trying to find the magic words to make things right.

  “Listen, I may look weak and be just a little girl to you, but I’m not. I’m tough. I’ve had to be because I’ve always had to fight. My. Whole. Fucking. Life.” Tommy stepped closer to me, reaching for me with his hands. “No. Don’t touch me. This is what you wanted, not me. When I was a young girl, my mom was honest with me. She said that she got rid of me because to be a survivor, a real fighter, you have to know your weaknesses. So she used to pack me off to Annie’s, telling me she needed time and space—space for the real fight of life. I knew I was her weakness and that having to look after me kept her from being able to fight through her life. I never fucking thought I’d understand anything she ever spewed at me. Well I do now.”

  I could see that my words were hurting him, but I was in the ‘protect myself zone’ and he wanted this, so I didn’t give him any choice but to listen.

  “You. You’re my weakness. Being with you has made me weaker. I gave you some of the space I’d saved to keep me strong. I guess I’m getting that space back now.”

  I was crying just a little bit by the time I finished. I didn’t understand whether they were sad tears or angry tears. Maybe they were just the tears of a girl who was feeling her heart breaking for the first time.

  “Carly will need picking up at ten,” I told him as I walked out of the door with the coat covering my shame and Lottie’s heels swinging from my fingers. I padded barefoot down the drive, praying I could make it to Tula with some self-respect intact. Hoping I’d be able to make it to the sanctuary of my bed, where I knew I’d cry big, ugly tears over the one guy I’d been willing to give my everything to.