The Cowboy She Never Forgot

by Cheryl Biggs

  He spotted her instantly in the large corral to one side of the barn, only a few dozen yards from the house. She was taking a muscular bay-and-white Appaloosa through his paces.

  Shane pulled up in front of the barn.

  “Lean into him,” someone yelled.

  Shane glanced toward the end of the corral, where he saw a young woman sitting atop the rails. He hadn’t seen her on his way in. With another quick look at Kate, who continued riding, he approached the woman.

  “Lean into him, Kate,” she yelled again. “More. That’s it. Good. Perfect.”

  “Hi.”

  The woman turned and glanced down at Shane, obviously surprised. “Oh, I didn’t hear anyone drive up. Sorry, too busy watching Kate and talking to myself.” She smiled and held up a tiny voice recorder. “Can I help you with something?”

  “She looks good,” Shane said, nodding toward Kate, then smiling back up at the woman on the fence.

  Her large green eyes looked him up and down in brazen inspection. “Kate, or the horse?” she asked a second later, a somewhat mischievous grin pulling at her heart-shaped lips.

  Shane smiled. “Both.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, they’re getting there.” Her short, brilliantly red hair, worn in a mass of curls, glistened beneath the morning sun, and seemed to accentuate the shower of freckles that covered the bridge of her nose and cheeks. She held out a hand. “Hi. Welcome to the Sky High. I’m Bree Morgan, Kate’s cousin.”

  He enveloped her near-child-sized hand in his. “Glad to meet you, Bree. I’m—”

  “I know who you are,” she said with amusement, before he could introduce himself. “Shane Larrabee, originally from Texas. Thirty-one years old. PRCA’s World Champion All Around Cowboy for the last three years, PBR’s Bull Rider of the year, Cody Larrabee’s big brother and Kate’s ex-heartthrob.” Her eyes danced. “Did I forget anything?”

  He released her hand and chuckled softly. “Just my middle name.”

  “Bryson. I may not have met you the first time around, but I’ve heard it all.” She looked back at Kate as she and the handsome gelding rounded a barrel. “Good,” Bree yelled. “Perfect.”

  Kate headed the horse toward another barrel.

  “You’ve got company,” Bree shouted to her.

  Kate glanced toward Bree and nearly lost control of her seat at seeing Shane standing next to her cousin. She grabbed frantically for the saddle horn, then pulled back on the reins to stop her horse. With her heart pounding and her pulse racing, though she wasn’t sure if it was from seeing Shane or nearly falling off her mount, she dragged in several deep breaths while half a dozen curses stormed wildly through her head. She had two choices: turn High Stepper toward the far rails, hope he could jump it, and ride him off into the distance, or move toward the fence where Bree and Shane were waiting for her. Cowardice lost—hard as it would be to face Shane, it was better than causing one of her best horses to break a leg.

  “Well, I’ve got to go,” Bree said, winking at Kate and jumping to the ground as she rode up to them. “I’ll talk to you later, cuz.”

  Kate smiled pleasantly while her eyes shot darts at Bree for even thinking of leaving her alone with Shane, let alone actually doing it Hadn’t the woman heard a word she’d said to her this morning? She’d flat out said she was going to avoid being alone with him. Kate nearly groaned as Bree walked away. They were as close as sisters and usually attuned to each other perfectly, but this morning Bree had just flunked ESP, common sense, and warning looks flat out. The thought of strangling her cousin popped into Kate’s head and it was a tempting prospect, but she’d wait until later, when they were alone and she could truly enjoy it.

  “Can we talk?” Shane asked.

  As Kate reluctantly turned to him, his gaze instantly caught and held hers. Light smoldered within the dark blue of his eyes, as the sensuality of his mere presence wrapped around her and caressed her ail-too-vulnerable senses. She shivered, even though the morning air was already warm. “Shane, I really don’t—”

  He held up a hand. “Just one question, Kate,” he said, his gaze refusing to release hers. “I asked you before but...” He shrugged. “I need to know...before anything else happens between us, or we say anything else, why did you leave the police force?”

  Her heart twisted into a knot. She could save them both a lot of grief right now by telling him the truth. I didn’t. The words were so short and simple. I didn’t leave the force, I’m still a cop. But she couldn’t say that. She had her orders, and if she didn’t follow them, her career might well be over.

  This is Shane, he deserves the truth, her conscience whispered.

  But if he’d truly loved her, the little voice of her heart whispered back harshly, they wouldn’t even be having this conversation, because he never would have left her in the first place.

  The old anger and resentment swept up to take her by surprise, swift and forceful.

  “Why, Kate?” His hand moved caressingly over High Stepper’s forehead as his gaze bored into Kate’s, demanding an answer, demanding the truth.

  He didn’t know what good this would do, if any. She desired him, but she didn’t love him. There was no doubt in his mind about that. Maybe he was just looking for some kind of closure to the past, to their relationship. Or maybe he was just being a fool again.

  With a tug on the reins, she pulled her eyes from his and urged the horse toward the fence. She had to think of something to say to discourage him—something other than the truth. Kate swung out of the saddle. Her booted foot hit the ground, she started to turn toward him, and found herself in his arms. A gasp of surprise and alarm rushed from her lips.

  His scent invaded her senses, his warmth penetrated her bones, his strength surrounded her. She heard the soft, ragged sound of his breath, felt the rapid beat of his heart beneath the hand that lay on his chest, looked up into the face of the man she’d dreamed about since the first day they’d met, almost five years ago.

  It was where she wanted to be, and where she knew she couldn’t be. Reason, logic, the ability to think threatened to desert her. All she was aware of was Shane, his arms around her like a steel-strong enclosure she had no desire to escape. But she had to, for both their sakes.

  “Tell me, Red,” Shane said, his deep voice cutting into her thoughts. “Why’d you quit?” He reached up and moved the back of his fingers lightly along the curve of her cheek. He knew what he wanted to hear, just as well as he knew it wasn’t what he would hear, but he pushed anyway. “Why’d you finally leave it?”

  Kate felt the breath still in her lungs.

  “Why didn’t you call me, Red?”

  Agony tore at Kate’s heart at the ragged emotion she heard in his voice, at the tenderness she felt in his touch. He did still care. Her heart soared, and she cursed and hated herself for the reaction. She’d been trying to deny that he felt anything for her ever since the party last night, had been trying to tell herself they’d just gotten caught up remembering old times, old attractions. He still cared, and that only made things harder. She said a small prayer, asking for the strength she needed to do what had to be done, then placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away. “Let me go, Shane. Please.” Her voice was cold, almost hard.

  He instantly released her and stepped back, his eyes narrowed slightly, his brow pulled into a frown. Darkness swam through his eyes as he stared at her.

  She held herself stiff, stoic, while inside everything was crumbling.

  Tell him the truth, part of her insisted.

  Do it, and he’ll leave, another part warned.

  “Is there someone else, Kate?” It wasn’t what he’d meant to say, wasn’t why he’d driven up here, but he needed answers. He’d never intended to see her again, then he’d found her back in his life, back in his arms, and seeming only too willing to return his kisses.

  She saw the hardness that had come over his features and into his eyes as she pushed him away. Now he was waiting for the
answer he’d come to get. He was waiting for the truth she couldn’t give him.

  He’d walked away from her, she reminded herself. He had asked, no, demanded, the impossible of her, and when she’d refused to comply, to bend to his will and give up her career, he had simply turned away and walked out of her life, and not once since then had he contacted her. The old anger and resentment gave her the strength to do what she knew was necessary, what had to be done. “Yes, Shane,” she said finally, wishing she didn’t have to lie, and knowing there was no other way. If she said no, there would be nothing standing between them but her job...and that was something he wasn’t aware still existed...and she couldn’t tell him. “There is someone else.”

  He felt a black chill threaten to overtake him, but didn’t fight it off. Instead, he welcomed it. “Then I wish you and—whoever—all the happiness in the world,” he forced from suddenly stiff lips. “Goodbye, Kate.”

  Kate shriveled inside at the emptiness she saw flash in his eyes, but it was there and gone so swiftly she was left unsure if she’d really only imagined it. “Shane, I—”

  Turning on his heel before she could say more, Shane stalked back to his pickup and jerked the door open.

  Kate took several steps after him, then stopped. There was really nothing more to say but goodbye...again.

  As Shane settled into his seat and turned the ignition key he saw her raise her hand toward him and say something, but the roar of his engine drowned out her voice. He stepped on the accelerator and the truck shot away from the barn toward the drive, fishtailing slightly and throwing up a cloud of dust and gravel. “Fool,” he grumbled to himself. How many times did he have to play the role of a fool before he learned? Or was that his destiny?

  “Like hell!” he thundered, slamming the truck into third gear as he spun out onto the road. “Like bull-bustin’, bronc-breakin’, blood-and-guts hell.”

  Kate watched as Shane’s pickup sped down the long lane from her ranch house back to the narrow mountain road, then swerved around the corner and out of sight. She tensed, fearing the sound of a crash after he rounded the curve, but there was only the roar of his pickup’s engine receding until it wasn’t even a faint hum on the air anymore. She sighed heavily and gave up the effort to keep her shoulders stiff. “Goodbye, Shane,” she whispered. Long moments later she turned away from the drive and walked slowly back to where High Stepper stood patiently waiting for her. It really was over now. Tears stung the back of Kate’s eyes and blurred her vision, but she fought them off as she released the cinch and pulled the saddle from the horse’s back.

  After returning the handsome gelding to the barn, and the cool shade of his stall, Kate walked down to the end of the foaling pasture, where there was a small pond surrounded by a grove of live oaks her great-great-grandmother had planted over a century ago.

  Sitting at the edge of the water, she stared at its calm, silver-glazed surface through the tears that had started to quietly fill her eyes and slip down over her cheeks. She wiped them away with her fingers, but to no avail as more came to take their place. Why couldn’t Shane have just stayed away from Reno this year? Why couldn’t Captain Aames have assigned someone else to this case?

  Kate swiped at her tears again, swallowed a sob, and looked around. As a little girl she’d come here often with her mother, whenever they visited the ranch, and her grandparents. Then Janine Morgan had quietly killed herself, and everything in Kate’s world had changed.

  Closing her eyes, Kate leaned back against the large trunk of one of the trees.

  I should never have married you, Hank. I should have stayed on the stage.

  Those were the last words Kate had ever heard her mother say, but no one knew she’d overheard the conversation between her parents. It had been late at night when she was supposed to be in bed.

  Kate sighed, then reached out and ran her fingers slowly through the water, watching the ripples her action created move to the pond’s center, then disappear. She remembered that night as if it were yesterday. They’d celebrated her birthday that afternoon, three days late, because her special day fell on a school day and they’d waited until the weekend. Her grandfather had let her ride his big sorrel that afternoon, and promised she could have the dainty Appy mare her grandmother didn’t ride anymore. It had been a wonderful day, and that night she’d needed no encouragement to climb into her bed. She’d been happily exhausted and had fallen asleep almost instantly.

  Her room was dark, the lamp turned off, and she was filled with an inexplicable fear when she woke. Disoriented and confused, she sat in her bed, hugging her teddy bear for several agony-filled minutes. Then she’d heard her mother and father’s voices raised in anger, drifting through the spacious, cottage-style house they lived in just outside of Carson City. Her father cursed loudly, and her mother said something in a sobbing cry. Kate’s fear had intensified then, because her parents never argued. Gathering her courage, she slid from her bed and tiptoed toward the only light that was on in the house, in the kitchen.

  I should never have married you, Hank.

  Kate stopped near the doorway at hearing those words, and merely stared at her mother. Several minutes and more words went by before Kate’s father saw her. He hurriedly scooped her up in his arms and carried her back down the hall to her bed, tucking her in and telling her to go back to sleep.

  The next day her mother had left the house before anyone else was awake. Four hours passed before her chestnut mare returned to their barn alone. Three days later, Kate stood beside her mother’s grave, holding Bree’s hand so tightly it was a wonder she hadn’t broken it.

  Janine Tyler had been on the verge of a major breakthrough in her singing career when she met and fell in love with Hank Morgan. He’d interviewed her as a potential witness during a robbery investigation of the casino where she’d been working. Within months she’d accepted his marriage proposal and given up her career, intent on making a home and family with him. But it obviously hadn’t made her happy.

  The morning after Kate heard her parents arguing, her mother had ridden off alone and killed herself.

  “I won’t make that same mistake, mama,” Kate said softly, turning her gaze toward the cloudless blue sky. “I won’t give up my career for a man like you did.” She stood and looked past the pond, across the open range toward the far-off, barely visible mountains of Utah. An image of Shane hovered within her mind, along with her memories.

  Damn the consequences, she had to tell him the truth. The lies were eating her up inside. Then it would really, once and for all, be over between them. She could get on with her job and—Kate dragged in a deep, soul-strengthening breath—cry over her shattered heart later.

  Straightening her shoulders, she shook the memories aside. With her resolve renewed, Kate turned back toward the ranch house. Hopefully, someone would come into her life someday, a man who could accept her and love her for who and what she was.

  “But until that day,” she quipped, forcing a lightness to her tone that was nearly the opposite that she was feeling, “I have at least a dozen things to do.” And at the top of the list was a stop by headquarters to see if the background checks on some of the rodeo personnel and contestants she’d requested had been completed yet.

  In the kitchen, she checked her answering machine for any calls that might have come in while she was outside.

  “Wow, he sure is a handsome one,” Bree said, waltzing into the kitchen as Kate turned from the machine and reached for a mug and the coffeepot. “You two getting back...”

  “No,” Kate snapped. “And I thought you had to go somewhere.”

  “Did I say that?” Bree chuckled. “Anyway, if you two aren’t going to be getting it back on, can I assume he’s fair game?”

  “No.” Kate looked up sharply at her cousin. Bree Morgan had the face and body of a pixie, rode a horse as if she was part of the saddle, and ran a food supply business that catered to several of the largest casinos, giving the impression it
was no more difficult than shuffling a deck of cards, which she was also very adroit at, having spent two summers while in college working as a blackjack dealer. She was also beautiful.

  “I mean, yes,” Kate snapped again. “There’s nothing between Shane and me, so if you’re interested, go for it.”

  Bree winced mockingly. “Oooh, judging from the ice dripping from your tone, maybe I’ll just take my drooling eyes elsewhere, thank you.” She laughed again as she grabbed a banana from the bowl on the kitchen table, and walked to the door. “Well, if we’re through for the day, I’d better get to the office.”

  Kate felt a flash of guilt. “Bree, I’m sorry. Thanks for the help.”

  “No problem, but I expect front row seats on closing night. And half your winnings.” She laughed. “Oh, by the way, how are your dad and his new bride doing? Back from their honeymoon yet?”

  “No.” She crumbled the muffin she’d taken from the cupboard into several pieces. “They’re driving back from Arizona and I expect they’ll be here any day now, though since Dad’s retired I guess they’ve actually got all the time in the world.”

  “Well, I’m just glad Uncle Hank finally found someone,” Bree said.

  “Me, too,” Kate said, then instantly wondered if she really meant it. She wanted her father to be happy, and Lorie was a doll, but it had just been Kate and her father for so long it was hard getting used to him having someone else. After her mother’s death he’d changed to the day shift so he could be with her every night, and they’d become best friends as well as father and daughter. He’d taught her everything he knew, from the family’s history and traditions, to how to shoot a gun and wrestle a suspect to the ground. There had never been any question that she would follow in his footsteps and those of the Morgan men before him, and be a police officer. It was what she wanted, what she’d always dreamed of doing.

  She did want him to be happy, but having Lorie around was a bit uncomfortable.

  “Well, see you tomorrow,” Bree said. She paused in the doorway and looked coyly back over her shoulder. “Oh, and if I were you, cousin dear, I wouldn’t let Gorgeous get away again.”