A Hopeful Heart

by Amy Clipston

  “Now I’m intrigued.” Ruth smiled. “Did you walk in on another half-naked hotel guest?”

  “I can’t believe you’re bringing that up again.” Hannah shook her head. “I never should’ve confided in you and Linda.”

  Ruth chuckled, and her chubby cheeks turned red. She wiped her eyes with a napkin. “Don’t be gegisch. We all make mistakes. When I first started here years ago, I re-cleaned an empty room that I’d cleaned the day before after the guests had left.”

  “Oh, no!” Hannah laughed. “I bet it was very clean after the second run through, ya?”

  “Absolutely.” Ruth tapped the table for emphasis. “Now, what happened to you today? You look as if you’re bursting at the seams.”

  “If I tell you, then you have to promise to keep it a secret. It’s about the guest I walked in on the other day.”

  “The Englisher without a shirt on?”

  “That’s the one. I saw him today in the hallway. I was hoping to avoid him, but he was standing outside his door because he’d lost his key. I unlocked his room, and then we had an unexpected conversation.” Hannah shared what she and Mr. Peterson had discussed. While she talked, she frequently glanced toward the door and hoped her other coworkers wouldn’t walk in.

  Ruth continued eating her bread and cheese while Hannah repeated the conversation from earlier in the day.

  Once Hannah was finished talking, Ruth wiped her mouth and shook her head. “I’m sorry to hear Mr. Peterson lost his family. That’s a tragic story. So bedauerlich.”

  “I know. I thought my pain was daunting, but he lost his whole family. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

  Ruth tilted her head. “What’s got you so interested in this man? Is it that he lost his family or is it something else?”

  “It’s something else.” Hannah paused while gathering her thoughts. “I’m surprised he was so easy to talk to. I’ve never met an Englisher like him.”

  “Englishers have the same losses we have. We’re all human and we’re all God’s kinner.”

  “I know.” Hannah bit into her sandwich. “I want to know more about how he’s coped with losing his family. I think we could help each other if we talked about our loss and how we’ve dealt with it.”

  Ruth’s lips formed a thin line. “You know that’s not a gut idea, Hannah.”

  “I just want to talk to him. He seemed like he wanted to share more with me, but I needed to get back to work. I don’t even know where he’s from or what brought him to Lancaster County.”

  “Don’t think about him for another moment, Hannah. We’re not supposed to get too friendly with the hotel guests, and it’s inappropriate for you to be alone with a man, especially an Englisher.”

  “I’m an adult, Ruth. I just want to talk to him. If we talked in a public place, it wouldn’t be like we’re meeting in secret.”

  “It’s still not a gut idea.” Ruth leaned forward and touched Hannah’s hand. “I know Gideon has been gone for four years, but you’re still vulnerable. You need to guard your heart. You may mistake friendship for something deeper and that’s not gut, especially since he’s English. Be careful, mei freind.”

  Hannah studied Ruth’s grimace and sighed. She knew Ruth was right, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Mr. Peterson’s story could somehow help her deal with the loneliness that haunted her daily.

  The break-room door slammed open and Linda Zook and Carolyn Lapp stepped in with their lunch bags swinging from their arms.

  “Wie geht’s?” they called in unison as they sank into chairs at the table.

  While her friends, who were both in their early thirties, joined in the conversation, Hannah tried to push her thoughts away from Mr. Peterson.

  “How are you doing today?” Carolyn unpacked her homemade bread and cheese.

  “We’re doing fine,” Ruth said between bites of her sandwich. She smiled at Carolyn. “You should come to church in my district Sunday. A bachelor from Ohio is visiting his bruder’s family. I think you’d like him.”

  Hannah laughed. “Ruth, you’re always trying to play matchmaker. I’m certain both Linda and Carolyn will find the right man in the Lord’s time.”

  Carolyn grinned. “I wouldn’t mind finding someone special and having a family of my own.” She nodded at Linda. “What about you, Linda? Do you want Ruth to find someone for you too?”

  Linda’s cheeks flushed as she studied her turkey sandwich. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. I wouldn’t even know what to say to a bachelor.”

  “Sure you would.” Ruth smiled at her. “You’d just tell him your name and ask him about his home in Ohio. You’d find things to talk about.”

  Linda shook her head. “I don’t think I can do that. I always get tongue-tied when I’m around men.”

  “I don’t.” Carolyn lifted her cup of water. “I always seem to find something to say.”

  Hannah chuckled. “Ya, you do have the gift to gab.”

  “I can’t wait to get married. I would love to have a big family.” Carolyn beamed. “I think twelve kinner like my parents had is just right.”

  Hannah shook her head. “Your parents were blessed.”

  “Ya.” Ruth laughed. “They were blessed with patience too.”

  While Carolyn talked about her family, Hannah wondered if she would see Trey Peterson again.

  Trey steered his BMW down a winding Lancaster County road. He glanced out the window at the patchwork of lush farmland dotted with large white farm homes and thought of Corrine. His wife loved vacationing in Amish country and visiting the shops. She had dreamt of selling their house in New Jersey and living in Lancaster County. She’d talked of owning a bed and breakfast so she could help other visitors enjoy the area. He smiled as he remembered a map she’d once sketched, almost entirely by memory, pointing out the best stores to visit for the most authentic Amish trinkets and foods.

  Corrine had constantly begged Trey to stop working so much and traveling so often. Although he made a generous salary, his frenetic career path was to the detriment of their time spent together as a family. He missed out on many of Samantha’s school events because of his demanding schedule. Corrine wanted him home more, and opening a bed and breakfast was the compromise they’d reached. Once the business was open, Trey would find a less demanding job near their new home, enabling him to work less and enjoy more time with his wife. Samantha was getting ready to go off to college, making it the perfect time to sell their house and start over in Pennsylvania.

  As Trey thought of his wife, he smiled. He’d loved Corrine since the day they’d met in college, and he wanted to keep her memory alive through those unrequited plans. Once he’d lost Corrine and Samantha, he couldn’t bring himself to return to his high-powered corporate job in New York City. He blamed his obsession with the job for the reason he wasn’t home the night they’d died. He had to leave his old life and start anew. He took the early retirement and headed toward the place Corrine had loved the most. Coming back to Lancaster was the best way for him to hold on to Corrine and some of their best memories as a family.

  If he could only find the perfect site for Corrine’s dream to come true … He kept her hand-drawn map secure in his briefcase, and he looked forward to the day he’d copy it and hand it to his first bed and breakfast guest.

  Trey had contacted a local realtor last week, but this morning he decided to go out looking for property alone. He knew the area well after all of the dozens of visits he’d made with Corrine over the years, and lately conversations with strangers were uncomfortable at best and usually stymied. Once Trey shared that he’d lost his family, an awkward silence hovered like an ominous dark cloud. Trey frequently found himself trying to fill the deep chasm of silence with meaningless comments about the weather or sports scores he’d spotted in the morning paper. So instead of enduring another painful conversation, he’d canceled his appointment with the realtor. Being alone was what he needed today.

  Trey stee
red around a bend in the road and spotted a vast farm. He noticed the plain green window shades, which was the first clue for Corrine when she was looking out for Amish homes, and his thoughts turned to Hannah Glick. He’d expected sympathetic platitudes followed by an awkward silence after he’d told Hannah about his loss, but instead she’d surprised him.

  In fact, Hannah was nothing like he’d expected when he’d first met her Monday. He thought she’d be friendly but demure like the other Amish women he’d met during his vacations in the area. Instead, she was funny and more outspoken than he’d expected. But what had shocked him the most was that she understood his grief more than anyone he’d ever spoken to and even shared a glimpse of her own struggles after losing her husband. She was the first person who’d offered him more than the promise of prayers since he’d lost Corrine and Samantha.

  Trey went around another bend and spotted a large, three-story home with a “for sale” sign in the front yard. He studied the whitewashed home, taking in the white split-rail fence surrounding a small pasture. A row of red barns sat behind the house. Would this be the location Corrine would’ve chosen to build her dream? Warmth filled his soul, and the answer to the question seemed to be a resounding Yes! as he wrenched open the car door. He walked toward the front porch steps and felt as if he were walking toward his new life.

  FOUR

  Hannah sat on the hard wooden bench at the bus stop a half block from the Lancaster Grand Hotel the following Wednesday afternoon. The driving rain pounded the top of the partial glass enclosure, and the wind whipped her dress like a flag fluttering from a pole. She shivered and smoothed her apron over her legs while peering down the street in hopes of spotting the bus that would take her to the warmth of her home.

  She’d planned to leave work on time, but after Linda called in sick, Hannah finished her required housekeeping duties and then pitched in to help Carolyn complete Linda’s rooms. Hannah had called her daily driver, Phyllis Houser, hoping she could schedule a ride later in the day, but Phyllis was booked with another family and then planned to leave to go out of town. Since she had no other choice, Hannah trekked through the raindrops to the bus stop at the end of the day.

  A pickup truck sped past the bus stop and splashed through a large puddle, causing cold water to rain over Hannah, soaking her dress and feet.

  “Ach! Where’s that bus?” She brushed her hands over her wet dress and hoped the bus would arrive soon without throwing more rainwater her way.

  “Hannah?” a voice called.

  She looked up and found Trey Peterson calling to her from inside a dark-colored sedan. She rested her tote bag on her lap in an effort to shield her wet dress. She hoped she didn’t look as bedraggled as she felt. She wondered when she would stop finding herself in embarrassing situations with the Englisher. “Hi, Mr. Peterson.”

  “Can I give you a ride somewhere?”

  “Oh.” Hannah cleared her throat and considered accepting a ride from him. She knew members of her community would frown on her if they saw her alone with a man, especially one who wasn’t Amish. But she wanted to get out of the rain and home to her family. She worried that her children were concerned about her since she should’ve been home two hours ago. She’d left a voicemail message for the twins on the phone in one of their barns, but she had no way of knowing if they had checked for messages.

  Mr. Peterson frowned. “I’m sorry. Apparently I’ve asked you something that isn’t appropriate.”

  Hannah made a quick decision, stood, and heaved her bag onto her shoulder. “I’d appreciate a ride home.”

  “Hop in.” Mr. Peterson leaned across to the passenger side and pushed the door open.

  She climbed into the car and placed her bag on the floor before buckling the seat belt. “Thank you for stopping.”

  “You’re welcome.” He merged into traffic. “Today isn’t the best day to get caught in the rain.” She shivered, and he nodded toward the door. “You can turn on the seat heater. It’s that button by the window opener.”

  “Your car has a seat heater?” Hannah pushed the button. “How fancy.” She glanced around the vehicle, noticing the sweet-smelling leather interior and a dashboard full of gauges. The inside of the car seemed much more expensive and complicated than Phyllis’s plain van. She assumed Mr. Peterson must be well off financially if he owned such a luxurious vehicle. “This is a nice car.”

  “Thank you. It was Corrine’s favorite. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it.” He smiled over at her. “Where are we headed?”

  She told him her address and explained the easiest way to get there. The rhythmic whoosh of the windshield wipers filled the silence as Mr. Peterson steered through another intersection.

  Hannah enjoyed the comforting heat radiating through the seat and tried to ignore the feeling of her soggy dress clinging to her legs. She settled into the seat and allowed her body to relax. “This is much better than waiting for the bus on that wooden bench.”

  “I was driving by and saw you sitting there in the cold rain and felt bad for you. No true gentleman would’ve left you there.” He gave her a sideways glance. “Do you always take the bus?”

  “No, I normally get a ride home, but I had to stay late because my coworker called in sick. I helped another coworker finish her work.”

  “Is your coworker okay?”

  Hannah nodded. “Ya, she’s fine. I think she has stomach flu.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Stomach flu isn’t fun.”

  Hannah looked over at Mr. Peterson and marveled at his thoughtfulness.

  “I haven’t bumped into you since last week. It’s a good thing I haven’t lost my key again because I’d have to go to the front desk to get my room unlocked.” Mr. Peterson smiled. “How have you been?”

  “I’ve been fine. Just busy at work and at home. How about you?”

  He shrugged. “I’m okay. I’ve been out looking around.”

  She wondered why he was visiting Lancaster County, but she knew it wasn’t her business. He merged onto a side road and zoomed past farmland Hannah knew like the back of her hand. Without missing a beat, he turned onto another road heading toward her farm.

  She pushed back the ribbons on her prayer covering. “You seem to know your way around.”

  “You could say that.” Mr. Peterson kept his eyes on the road. “I’ve made many trips here over the years. This was Corrine’s favorite vacation spot, and I have to admit it’s one of mine too.”

  “Really?” Hannah angled her body toward him. “So, you’re a seasoned tourist? Where are you from?”

  “New Jersey. Corrine started coming here as a child and fell in love with the area and the Amish culture.” He glanced at Hannah and then looked toward the road again. “It was our dream to move here and open a bed and breakfast. We’d talked about doing it for a long time. I was going to retire early so I could spend more time at home and less time working and traveling. She wanted to share her love of Lancaster with others. Unfortunately, things don’t always work out as you plan, but I have to make that dream come true even though she’s gone. It’s the best way I can think of to keep her memory alive.”

  “That is wonderful.” Hannah studied his profile. It was obvious he loved his wife deeply. “That’s a beautiful way to remember your wife.”

  “Thanks. I spent all day searching for the perfect place. I found one I like last week. I just had a feeling about it when I saw it. My realtor says I need to keep my options open and not jump on the first one, but I keep thinking that’s the one.” He told her where the property was located, and Hannah nodded.

  “I know where that is. It’s a little bit of a buggy ride from my farm, but it would be a quick trip in a car. I know the area. It’s very nice.”

  “Do you think it would be a good location for a bed and breakfast?”

  Hannah nodded. “Ya. I think it would work well.”

  “I just keep wondering if I’m making the right decision. I’m doing this in mem
ory of Corrine and Samantha. I’ve done a lot of research but I still have a lot to learn about running a bed and breakfast. I can cook, but I’m no chef. I’ve worked in finance for years, but I’ve never run a business like this. I’ll have to hire someone to help me. I know I can’t do it all on my own.” He shook his head. “My sister thinks I’m crazy, but it feels right in my heart.”

  “Have you prayed about it?”

  “Oh, yes. Like I told you before, God is probably tired of hearing me mull things over and worry about all of this. But everything fell into place when I made the decision. My house sold quickly, and I was able to retire with full benefits since I’d started at the bank right out of college. It all just felt meant to be.”

  “It must be God’s plan then.” She pointed toward the next intersection. “Turn here.” The rain dissipated to a light drizzle as the car bumped through a pothole.

  “But what if I’m making a huge mistake? How can I be certain it’s God’s plan?”

  Hannah studied him. His chocolate brown eyes were locked on the road ahead, but his lips formed a thin line, as if he were pondering her words. She wondered why he put so much stock in what she had to say. What did she know about God’s plan? Her life was nothing like she’d expected when she’d vowed to cherish Gideon and stand at his side as his helpmate for the rest of her life. She’d never imagined she’d become a widow at the age of thirty-four. She’d survived, however, with the help of her community and her strong faith.

  She found him looking at her and knew he expected an answer. “I think if you’re praying and feeling peaceful about your choices after the prayer, then it’s God’s plan. Have you spoken to your minister about it?”

  Mr. Peterson nodded. “He told me to pray and follow my heart.”

  “It sounds like your minister is very wise. You need to have faith in your choices.” Hannah pointed. “Turn here. My farm is on the right.”

  Mr. Peterson steered the car down the road, and Hannah directed him into her long rock driveway. He parked near the first barn and then turned to her. “You must think I’m crazy for asking your thoughts on my choices. You don’t even know me.”