Her ToyBear

by Bonnie Burrows

  It still made Jennifer a bit anxious that she was hardly a “girl” any more and that Wesley had told his parents how very much in love he was with her. She couldn’t help but feel her heartbeat quicken in their presence, expecting the subject of the twenty years she had on their son to come up at any moment. After the time she had spent preparing for this moment, she still had no idea how to handle it.

  Jennifer could tell that Jocelyn Horne’s features, now rounded and softened somewhat with age, were once the looks of a girl who could have been a fashion model. Seeing her now, grown pleasantly round and stout with her brown hair threaded with grey and pulled back in a ponytail, made Jennifer think of some of the women who had modeled for her life drawing classes in school.

  Jennifer was quite impressed with Vernon Horne, a man thickened in body with his face subtly lined by his passing years, his dark hair also tinted a bit into the grey. He was slightly husky but strong and powerful-looking, and she could see Wesley in his father’s features. This was probably the way Wesley himself would look in twenty years. At the back of her mind, Jennifer could not help but imagine herself in her sixties, still topped in bed by a man whose looks would then be approaching those of his father.

  Vernon shook her hand. “You’re as pretty as Wesley said.”

  “Dad…” Wesley groused, standing nearby and watching this first exchange between his lover and his folks.

  “It’s all right, Wesley,” Jennifer said. “Thank you, Mr. Horne…Vernon.” And to both of the parents, she quickly said, “Jocelyn…Vernon…I just want you to know you’ve raised a very fine young man. Wesley is the dearest, sweetest person I know.” She braced herself to see them frown judgmentally at her and scoff, Cut the crap, human. We know our son has been screwing your brains out. What do you mean, seducing our boy that way? And why can’t you sleep with a man your own age?

  Instead, the Hornes returned her sentiments with small, calm smiles, and Vernon replied, “Well, I certainly have no argument with that.”

  “I can guess how difficult this has all been for you,” said Jocelyn. “It can’t be anything you were expecting.”

  The observation seemed a small and even obtuse thing to say, and Jennifer and the Hornes all knew it. How could any human possibly expect to have a relationship with someone and then learn something about him so totally outside of human experience?

  “I have to admit,” Jennifer said, “of all the things I could have possibly learned about Wesley, this was nothing remotely like anything I could have guessed. A friend of mine tried to guess what had happened between us when we weren’t seeing each other, and she never hit anywhere close to the truth.”

  As soon as the words were out of Jennifer’s mouth, she saw the eyes of Wesley’s parents widen, and they traded anxious looks. Jocelyn repeated, “A friend of yours…?” She instinctively grasped Vernon’s arm and said, “Of course, you didn’t…say anything…”

  Jennifer gave a little nervous gasp. “Oh no! No, of course not. I want to assure you both, I would never, ever—ever—say anything to anyone—ever, unless I knew that they were…that they were…”

  “Shifters,” Vernon said bluntly.

  “Werebears,” Jocelyn said frankly.

  And there they were again: the words for what Wesley and his parents were, spoken plainly and openly. Her voice lowering a bit, even as her pulse quickened and her nerves went on edge, Jennifer said, “Yes. I promise I haven’t said anything about it to anyone but Wesley—and now, you. And I promise you can trust me. I would never do anything to cause trouble for Wesley or hurt him in any way. He’s too important to me. I care for him too much.”

  “He cares for you just as much,” Jocelyn said. “The times we’ve talked to him on the phone, I’ve heard it in his voice. And now…Wesley? Son…?” She glanced over beyond Jennifer to Wesley, who had gone to sit on the sofa while they talked. Vernon and Jennifer looked that way with her. They found him sitting with head bowed and shoulders slumped, not looking at any of them. “Wesley, sweetheart,” called Jocelyn, “are you all right?”

  “I’m okay, Mom,” said Wesley in a voice that sounded nauseated.

  In a second, before Jennifer herself could even respond, Jocelyn crossed the few steps between where they stood and the sofa, sat down beside Wesley, and put an arm around him. The next second, Vernon sat on the other side of him and took him by the hand. Wesley still did not look at any of them. Jennifer found herself staring at a portrait of a family with a sick child. Her heart sank.

  Brushing Wesley’s hair with her hand, Jocelyn said, “Oh, honey, no, you’re not okay. The change is starting to force itself, isn’t it?”

  Wesley did not answer in words. He uttered a grunt that did not sound entirely human.

  Jennifer went over and sat down on her knees on the floor in front of Wesley. She put a hand under his chin and lifted his face. His expression looked woozy and drunk, and his color was flushed one moment and pale the next. Hurting for him, she asked, “What can I do? Just tell me how I can help.”

  “There’s nothing you can do, Jennifer,” said Vernon. “He just has to go through this. He has to get through this next couple of days. Would you get his mother’s bag from over there and give it to her, please?”

  Jocelyn had come in with a large purse that she had set on one end of the coffee table when she’d entered. Jennifer quickly reached for it and handed it to Wesley’s mother. Jocelyn reached into it and produced a juice bottle containing something that looked like iced tea but was thicker, almost syrupy. Jennifer watched Jocelyn unscrew the top of the bottle and hand it to Wesley. “Here, baby, we brought you the brew.”

  Wesley took the bottle and took a long swallow from it. He handed it back to his mother and settled back onto the sofa. Jennifer watched, concerned, as he seemed to relax slightly and his color started to return to normal. But he still seemed groggy.

  “What is that?” Jennifer asked.

  “It’s an old remedy we have for the symptoms of the Calling Time,” Jocelyn explained. “It’s honey and lemon with a mix of herbs. A human would find it tastes sort of bittersweet. It helps us when we get like this.”

  Jennifer stood up and crossed her arms, hugging herself for want of hugging Wesley. “He told me,” she said, “this is something that only happens to shifters like you—werebears. He said the other kinds—the wolves and the others—don’t go through this, except for the werewolves, who have a time when they have to stay in their wolf bodies until they mate. But the other kinds, they don’t have times like this.”

  Vernon said, “When we’re in a certain humor we think of it as a cross we have to ‘bear.’ Some of us find that funnier than others.”

  Jocelyn added, “And some of us don’t find it particularly funny at all.”

  “Now, Mother…” Vernon acknowledged.

  Vernon went on, “We have ways of coping with these things because we have to, Jennifer. Sometimes we and the werewolves just think of this as something that happens because we’re more special than the others. Sometimes when nature makes you special, it gives you something to overcome.”

  “And some of us don’t like this idea of anyone being more ‘special’ than others, either,” said Jocelyn. “Nature has its ways. It does what it does.”

  Jennifer took all this in and nodded with a deep sigh and a wan little smile. The Hornes studied her curiously as she reacted to the situation. Jocelyn asked, “What is it? What are you thinking?”

  “Something I’m not sure I should say,” Jennifer replied. “I’m not sure how you’re going to take it. Frankly, I’m still a little worried about offending you.”

  “Dear,” said Jocelyn, “you’re already sharing the most intimate things in the world with us. And you’ve made our son happy. It’s all right to speak your mind. What are you thinking?”

  “I was just thinking…” said Jennifer, “…that you sound so…human.” She looked anxiously at them, anticipating their reaction.

  The
Hornes looked up at her from the sofa, and Jocelyn simply replied, “That was probably the kindest thing you could have said.”

  Wesley pried open his eyes and smiled through his discomfort at Jennifer as if to say, See, Jen? We all trust each other now. Jennifer hoped that was his meaning. And she hoped he was right.

  _______________

  Wesley’s parents put him to bed and spent the rest of that day with Jennifer. They took her around the town and showed her the places where Wesley used to go when he lived there, which they had passed on their way to the Lodge. They took her to lunch and talked about anything and everything. The Hornes ran a business back in Quebec. They were hiking, camping, and fishing guides, a natural occupation for them and one at which they excelled. Who could be better, after all, to help humans enjoy the great outdoors than people who were secretly bears?

  They discreetly pointed out to Jennifer some of the other people in town who they knew were shifters. Most of them were werebears, but a few were werewolves as well. Jennifer quietly marveled at how they blended in with the rest of Osborn Wood, as if there was nothing unusual about them.

  And by their reckoning, they were not unusual at all. Jennifer was quickly learning that “usual” was a very relative term for some people. She had learned this long ago from her gay friends, and she found she was learning it all over again.

  Jocelyn and Vernon talked to Jennifer about Wesley’s childhood and upbringing back in Quebec, where they lived near the forest. It was growing readily apparent to Jennifer that the largest populations of shifting people were always near mountains and forests, which made a great deal of sense as it was the best and safest place for them to assume their other forms.

  The Hornes explained to her that the deep and open oceans and the deepest parts of large lakes were also where the seagoing weredragons and the weredolphins liked to go, and that many of the stories that humans told about sea serpents and lake monsters were in fact encounters with weredragons in their reptilian bodies.

  Jennifer felt as if the whole world was tilting under her. Sitting in an outdoor cafe with her boyfriend’s parents, she was suddenly getting answers about places like Loch Ness and Lake Champlain that would knock a lot of humans on their collective rumps. And again, she mentally raced to catch up with a world that seemed to be running away from her.

  Later in the day, they returned to the Lodge and found Wesley rested, feeling stronger and not as sickly as they had left him. He was well enough for them to take him to dinner, and they all retired to the dining room of the Lodge. Over dinner, Wesley told his parents the story of the dinner of trout almondine, discreetly leaving out what he and Jennifer did all night in lieu of having dessert. And they actually had a laugh over it. Jennifer was struck once more with how casual and mundane it all really seemed, sitting at dinner and laughing with a family of werebears. It was truly becoming her new reality.

  After dinner, Jocelyn and Vernon accompanied Wesley and Jennifer back to their suite. Wesley’s parents hugged him hard and tightly at the door. “We’ll see you bright and early in the morning,” Jocelyn said, giving him a big, long kiss on the cheek. “Try to get some more rest.”

  His father hugged him next, whispering in his ear, “Who’s your mother kidding? You know you won’t be getting to sleep early.” And he clapped Wesley on the back, knowingly.

  “Dad…,” Wesley said with an embarrassed look, glancing at Jennifer from out of the corners of his eyes, hoping she hadn’t heard.

  “Good night, son,” said Vernon with a wink. He and Jocelyn started off down the hallway to the elevator, giving Wesley a last look over their shoulders as they went.

  Jennifer and Wesley went back into the suite, and Wesley again hung out the DO NOT DISTURB sign. He took her by the hands and gave her a peck on the lips. “My folks like you,” he said.

  “I like them. They’re very kind,” she said. “I see where you get your kindness.”

  “I’m not feeling all that ‘kind’ right now,” said Wesley. “At least not that kind of ‘kind’.”

  Concerned, Jennifer asked, “Wesley, are you sure you want to tonight?”

  “I’m in a fancy Lodge suite with the lady I love, and you’re asking me if I ‘want to’? Really?”

  “But are you sure you’re up to it? You were so ill before, and then last night…”

  “Mom left me the bottle of brew,” he said. “Two of ‘em, in case I need ‘em. I’ll be good, just like always. I won’t ‘bear out’ in the middle of it, I promise.” Seeing how anxious and nervous the idea made her, he said more seriously: “Jen…tomorrow morning, I’m gonna change and go into the forest. And I know you haven’t been saying it, but you’re still scared in the back of your mind that I’m not gonna come back. And I promise you, Jen, I swear, I’m gonna come back. Nothing’s gonna stop me. Jennifer, I’m a bear, you know that. But that’s not all I am; you know that, too. And the best part of me—the best part, Jen—is when we’re in bed. That’s where I wanna be tonight. On top of you, in bed, showing you what you mean to me. Come on, let’s go to bed.” He pulled her close and kissed her with all his love. “I wanna have the best sex ever tonight. Please?”

  Jennifer let him pull her into another long, sweet kiss. Then he broke the kiss and pulled off his shirt, showing her his chest and abs and shoulders and arms, against which she had no resistance at all. Then he teasingly opened his jeans and pulled down his zipper, a tantalizing promise of what else she couldn’t resist. He took her by the hand and led her to the bed, which he had left turned down.

  Wesley was as good as ever that night, though his condition had taken more out of him than he let on. He did it to her just three times that night before dropping off to sleep. Three incredible, wonderful times that made Jennifer feel it deep down in her bones. After the third time, she held her slumbering Wesley in her arms and stared out through the window at the darkened forest outside—the forest where he would be going in just a few hours. Inwardly, she cried a little.

  “Please come back to me,” Jennifer whispered. “Please, just please come back.”

  _______________

  They rose together at dawn. Any other morning, on waking beside each other, they would have shared bodies at first light. But this morning, in spite of the warmth of the sun’s returning fingers on the bed and on their skin, they felt in the shadow of things beyond their control that intruded on the feelings they would have otherwise expressed. So Wesley simply kissed Jennifer good morning and ignored his need for her down under the sheets. They cuddled together, their minds as filled with the thought of what this day would bring as with their need for each other.

  Jennifer found her voice. “I wish I could go with you today. I know you promised you’d come back…”

  “And I will,” he said.

  “…but this isn’t about just whether you’re coming back or not, Wesley. It’s about this whole other thing you are, this whole other world you come from, that I can’t share. I know it’s selfish of me, but I want all of you.”

  “You’ve got all of me.” He kissed the top of her head and held her ever more tightly. “You’ve got my heart and my soul and my body and…you know.” He kissed her head again. “I’m all yours, Jen. Always will be. This is just one thing I’ve gotta do alone. But it’ll be over, and I’ll come back to stay.”

  “And we’ll keep going through this. Every four or five years, we’ll go through this same thing again and again.”

  “And I’ll keep coming back again and again. Only my body changes, Jen. My love for you doesn’t. You’ll see.”

  With what felt like a greater effort than either of them had ever exerted in their lives, they made themselves climb out of bed, and Jennifer saw his whole glorious naked body and the root of her greatest pleasure for what she hoped with all her heart would not be the last time.

  They stood in the golden dawning light pouring into the suite, and Wesley pulled her tenderly into his arms. Their lips found each other, and their m
ouths clung to each other. Jennifer’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, and Wesley’s arms encircled her waist. She felt his thick hardness pulsing between her thighs, and she parted the kiss. “Wesley, please,” she whispered.

  “Yeah,” he whispered in return and eased her down onto the bed on her back. Instead of taking her immediately, he descended face-first at her entrance and lapped at it like a bear lapping at a brook, bringing her to a climax that felt like a sparkling in her body. Then, when he was sure that he’d given her what she most needed, he climbed upon her and eased himself into her, satisfying his own need one more time.

  They showered, holding each other and kissing in the running water. They dressed. Then, hand in hand, they went to the door of the suite to face the day.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Beyond the Osborn Lodge lay the Osborn Glade, which belonged to the owners of the Lodge. When the Hornes joined Jennifer and Wesley for breakfast at the Lodge, they explained that the owners of the Lodge were Ursans themselves and that they had owned the Glade for generations, keeping it in their family but donating it for the use of other Ursans who wished to use it when the Calling Time came for them.