‘All right,’ he said. ‘I will talk to him but on one condition and one condition only.’
She gave a small swallow sigh, somehow knowing just where his incisive brain had led him. She’d practically handed the opportunity to him on a plate, which made her feel all the more angry, but with herself, not him.
She forced herself to hold his glittering gaze. ‘I assume you’ve thought of another way to blackmail me into resuming a physical relationship with you,’ she said through tight lips.
‘You don’t think that what happened here a few minutes ago isn’t part of having a physical relationship?’ he asked incredulously. ‘Exactly what planet have you been living on in the last five years?’
Her eyes skittered away from his. ‘It was a mistake…you made me angry and when I’m angry I don’t think straight.’
‘So what you’re saying is: you don’t want to have sex with me ever again, right?’
She straightened her spine and met his penetrating gaze. ‘That’s correct.’
‘Liar, liar, pants on fire,’ he teased, his dark eyes glinting. ‘Come on, darling. You’re giving me that look again so don’t waste your breath on words that are meaningless.’
She could feel her insides melting with his second endearment, but there was no way she was going to openly agree to his bribe. What would be the point? She didn’t need to be blackmailed into his bed. God help her, she wanted to be there—permanently.
She schooled her features into nonchalance and, turning aside, reached for a bowl and the cereal packet he’d left on the bench earlier. The sound of the grains and flakes of the muesli falling into the bowl sounded as loud as rain on a tin roof, so heavy was the silence.
‘So you’ve decided you’re hungry after all?’ he mused.
‘I’m thinking of the baby.’
‘Good, now we’re finally getting somewhere.’ He reached for the carton of milk and held it out to her, his eyes holding hers. ‘Want some?’
‘Yes…thank you,’ she said, unable to drag her eyes away.
He poured in a measure slowly, his eyes still fastened on hers. ‘Enough?’
She nodded and he put the carton aside, still without letting her gaze go.
The silence pulsed for several heavy heartbeats.
Carli felt the flutter of her blood trying to get through to where it was supposed to go, felt too the hollowing of her stomach as he took the cereal bowl out of her hands and took just one small step towards her.
Xavier stared down at her uptilted face, wondering what was going on behind the screen of her caramel gaze.
There were times when he seriously wondered if she was starting to care for him once more. She responded to him physically without restraint, but then, he reminded himself, she had done so just as readily in the past, and, if his reputation over the last five years was anything to go by, she was by no means alone.
The trouble between them wasn’t the sex. It was good if not better than before, and certainly a whole lot better than what he’d had since she’d left him, but still he felt as if something was missing.
He had loved her so deeply but their acrimonious divorce had made it turn sour and he hadn’t wanted to let his guard slip since. But sometimes when he looked at her just like this, his eyes holding hers, he felt something stir deep inside him, like a gear trying to change before the clutch was pressed down properly.
He drew in a breath that seemed to snag at his chest on the way through and he stepped backwards to put some distance between them. He noticed her eyes immediately lost their guarded sheen, her whole body relaxing as if the fear of his touch had dissipated as soon as he’d stepped away.
It wasn’t encouraging.
Disappointment filtered through him, making his voice sound hard and somewhat distant when he finally spoke. ‘I should be home around two pm. I hope you can find something meaningful to do to fill in the time.’
Her chin came up a notch as she sent him a castigating glance. ‘I think I might be just about able to cope with your absence, but please don’t hurry home on my account.’
His mouth tightened momentarily. ‘Perhaps then you’ll be available to have dinner with me this evening?’ He knew he sounded sarcastic but was unable to correct it in time.
She lowered her gaze and reached for her abandoned cereal and tipped it into the sink before turning back to face him. ‘I’ll let you know,’ she said and before he could do or say anything to stop her she left the room.
Xavier looked at the soggy mess of her uneaten breakfast lying in the sink, the dark raisins staring back up at him like accusing eyes.
He let out one short, sharp swear word and, turning the tap on full, stood and waited until they disappeared down the drain.
CHAPTER EIGHT
CARLI spent the morning by the pool in the garden, forcing herself to relax enough to enjoy the warm sunshine and refreshing water. She swam back and forth, remembering the way Xavier had often joined her in the past, his long strokes so much more efficient than hers when they had tried to race each other.
She stopped for a breather and gave a little sigh as she trailed her fingertips in the crystal-clear water in front of her. So much of what had constituted their relationship had been combative and competitive. She had fought with him rather than discussed things evenly and rationally, her immature temper tantrums gradually eroding his love away.
The worst of it was she hadn’t even really meant it when she’d asked for a divorce. Her thoughts drifted to that night… She could still hear the sound of Xavier’s strong, purposeful stride as he crunched over the broken porcelain on the floor…
The look in his eyes should have warned her she’d pushed him to the very limits of his patience. They were twin deep, dark blue pools of simmering anger as his fingers bit into the flesh of her upper arms to haul her up against him, his mouth burning hers with the duel flames of rage and unrestrained desire.
To her shame she hadn’t been able to resist him. She had kissed him back just as savagely, her own desire leaping out of control as it always did as soon as he touched her. She tasted blood and had no idea if it was hers or his. She didn’t care. She wanted him to ache for her the way she ached for him. She wanted him weak and helpless with need the way he made her.
The hall table lamp tottered and fell to the floor as they shoved the table on their way past; their mouths locked together, their hands tearing at each other’s clothes with no regard to their preservation.
They hadn’t made love in over a week. Deep down she knew it was probably why she was feeling so neglected and insecure, frightened in case he didn’t want her any more, but nothing in her nature would allow her to admit it to him. Instead she had chosen to goad him into being so angry with her, he lost control. And he was losing control—rapidly. His breathing was hard-pressed as he backed her up against the wall, his first rough thrust sending shockwaves of delight right through her. She clung to him unashamedly, her body tightening around him, her breath coming out in sharp little gasps as he increased his pace. The silky slide of his hardened flesh tipped her over into oblivion, her head spinning with the sensations flooding her system as she shook and quivered in the tight band of his arms.
He barely waited for her storm to be over before he came with a forceful surge, his deep, primal groan like music to her ears.
She opened her eyes to see him looking at her, his expression still dark with anger.
‘Satisfied now?’ he asked, his breathing not quite even. ‘Isn’t that what tonight’s little routine was all about?’
She tried to step away but his arms had locked on to the wall either side of her head, effectively trapping her.
‘Answer me, damn you!’ he growled.
‘No,’ she denied vehemently.
‘I don’t believe you,’ he said.
‘I don’t care.’
He gave her a flinty look. ‘You know, Carli, you only have to ask the next time you want a quick—’
‘I want a divorce
,’ she blurted to stop him from speaking the crude word out loud.
The sudden silence roared in her ears until she felt light-headed.
His eyes went almost black as he stepped back from her. She watched as he reached for his trousers, stepping into them with the sort of cold precision she had come to dread.
Oh, what had she done?
‘Xavier…’ She took a step towards him but stopped when she saw the derision in his eyes as they ran over her from head to foot.
She was aware of her partial nakedness and never in her whole time with him had she felt more ashamed. His scathing look had marked her as the trailer trash his sisters and parents had always assumed her to be.
‘So you want a divorce, do you, Carli?’ he asked, his tone containing just the right amount of scorn to push her back into her tight corner.
‘That’s what I said.’ She lifted her chin defiantly. But I didn’t mean it! she wanted to tack on, but her injured pride wouldn’t permit it.
‘Then you shall have one,’ he said. ‘Because believe me, I will do nothing to stop you.’
She wanted him to stop her. Why wasn’t he stopping her?
She stared at him as he scooped up his wrecked shirt off the floor, his foot kicking the broken lamp out of his way as he made his way to the front door.
She watched in silence as he opened it, flinging one last, blistering look her way before he slammed it on his exit.
Carli stared down at the circular motion of the water she’d disturbed with her fingers, the movement of the tiny circles into larger and larger ones reminding her of how her reckless words and actions had done far more damage than she’d ever expected. She had issued him with the divorce papers, never really expecting him to go through with it. Even as the papers were returned to her signed she could hardly believe it was his signature there, but it had been too late to erase it.
She left the pool and after a quick shower spent the rest of the afternoon away from the house, not wanting to give Xavier the impression she was languishing about waiting for his return.
She went into the city and wandered around the shops for hours, stopping once or twice to purchase an item or two for the baby. Her fingers lingered over the tiny garments as she inspected them, wondering what it would feel like to hold her baby for the very first time.
The baby stirred in her womb as she held up a newborn-sized blue matinée jacket and she wondered if she was carrying a boy. But then, just as her hand reached out for a pink babygro suit the baby wriggled again and she couldn’t help a tiny smile.
She bought both.
Xavier paced the empty lounge and glared at the telephone each round he did as if his hard look would instantly cause it to ring.
It didn’t.
His morning with Aidan hadn’t been all that enjoyable. His friend hadn’t had his eye on the ball once and had seemed to be in a hurry to end the game and move on. Xavier couldn’t help wondering where he was rushing off to or to whom.
He’d tried bringing up the topic of Eliza’s health but Aidan had skirted away from it, preferring to discuss the date of the divorce instead.
‘I want to get out of my marriage and fast,’ Aidan said, swinging his five iron somewhat recklessly.
Xavier waited until the ball had disappeared into the rough before responding. ‘Why don’t you take a back pedal for a while and see what gives?’
‘You’re going soft on me, Xavier.’ Aidan’s look was berating. ‘I couldn’t believe it when you pulled out of acting for me. I thought you were my mate.’
Xavier settled his five iron in place and took a practice swing. ‘I told you why.’ He took the final swing but it wasn’t much better than Aidan’s.
‘Yeah, that ex-wife of yours has you under the thumb,’ Aidan put in scathingly. ‘What were you thinking to get involved with her again? She cut you up before; why go back for seconds?’
Xavier looked into the distance and found his ball lying in the bunker, his eyes squinting against the bright sunshine. ‘You know how it is,’ he said, ‘old habits are hard to break.’
‘Interesting choice of words,’ Aidan said, giving him a direct look. ‘Just how pregnant is she?’
Xavier shifted his gaze back to the plight of his ball in the distance. ‘You of all people should know there are no degrees of pregnancy. It’s a yes or no answer.’
Aidan gave him a rolled-eyed look. ‘How many weeks?’
‘We’re measuring it in months now.’ Xavier’s glance was wry. ‘Almost five, to be precise.’
Aidan let his breath out between his teeth as they walked on. ‘You always were a little out of control where she was concerned, weren’t you?’
Xavier didn’t answer. His denial wasn’t going to sound any more convincing than his silence, and, as he wasn’t prepared to admit how he felt about Carli even to himself, he didn’t see why he should go into unnecessary detail now.
‘You still feel anything for her?’ Aidan asked after they’d covered another hundred metres of the fairway.
‘I thought we were here to discuss your situation, not mine?’ Xavier said, looking straight ahead.
‘My situation is completely different,’ Aidan said. ‘As far as I see it, Carli is still the same old Carli. Eliza, however, is now someone else.’
Xavier frowned as he thought about his friend’s statement. Was Carli the same as she’d been five or so years ago? Or had she changed? And if so, had it been him who had changed her?
On a last-minute impulse Carli booked in for a hair treatment in an effort to stall the act of her final capitulation to Xavier. She knew as soon as she went through the door of his house she was going to be his for as long as he wanted her. It didn’t matter how hard she tried to resist him, or how fervently she issued warnings to herself about how she was going to get dreadfully hurt in the end, all she could think of was how much she loved him. He was as necessary to her as the air she drew into her lungs to inflate them. He filled her. He completed her in a way no one else could. Yes, they were different in every way possible, but wasn’t that what created good chemistry? She felt only half alive when he wasn’t sparring with her, his sharp intelligence keeping her dancing on her toes in a way no one had ever done before or since.
Once her hair was finished she lingered over a last-minute latte in a small, cosy café, her legs already starting to tingle at the thought of Xavier coming between them. She pressed them together underneath the café table, her cheeks growing hotter by the second as she pushed her half-finished coffee away.
Half an hour later she made her way to the front door of Xavier’s house, but before she could locate her key the door opened and he stood there before her, his expression full of reproach.
‘What is the point of having a mobile phone if you never have it switched on?’ he asked.
Carli brushed past him in the doorway and placed her carrier bags on the hall table, taking her time to lay her keys and purse down side by side on the polished surface.
She could see his tall figure standing just behind her in the gilt-edged mirror, his dark blue gaze fixed on her.
‘I asked you a question.’
She turned around to face him. ‘Did you tell Aidan to call off the divorce?’
He held her direct look for a moment without responding.
‘I asked you a question.’ She used the same curt tone he’d used earlier, folding her arms across her chest just as he had done.
‘I did raise the topic but he seemed disinclined to talk about it. I guess he thinks it’s none of my business now I’m not acting for him.’
She gave him a searching look as her arms dropped back by her sides. ‘You’ve really dropped the case?’
He tilted one eyebrow ironically. ‘Isn’t that what you asked me to do?’
‘Yes…’
‘But you didn’t think I was going to do it, did you?’
‘I wasn’t sure…’
‘What would it take to get you to trust me?’ he
asked.
‘I don’t know…’ She caught her lip, her eyes moving away from his.
‘I handed the case to someone else in the firm. Aidan wasn’t all that happy about it, of course.’
‘What did you tell him?’ she asked, fiddling with the strap of her watch to avoid his all-seeing gaze.
‘Not much,’ he said. ‘He knew I was seeing you again so I guess he put two and two together.’
Seeing each other again… How casual that sounded, she thought sadly.
‘What did you buy?’ Xavier changed the subject as his glance fell upon the bags she’d placed on the hall table earlier.
‘A few things for the baby,’ she told him.
‘Show me.’
She went to the first bag and held up the blue matinée jacket.
‘Cute.’ He smiled down at her. ‘So you think it’s a boy?’
She went to the second bag and, searching through the tissue paper, pulled out the tiny pink babygro suit and held it up in front of him.
‘Mmm…’ He put a finger to his lips and tapped them thoughtfully. ‘So you haven’t quite made up your mind.’
She couldn’t help a small smile. Somehow whenever she thought of their baby she felt her spirits lift in hope. She was bonded with Xavier by the presence of their growing foetus, a bond that no human signature could take away.
‘I’m not committing myself either way just yet,’ she answered.
‘What about dinner?’ he asked. ‘Have you made up your mind about that?’
She didn’t have time to think of an excuse even if she’d wanted one. The truth was she wanted to spend the evening with him. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but how could she tell him that now?
‘Where were you thinking of going?’ she asked, hoping she sounded casual and uninterested.
‘What say I surprise you?’
She made her way to the stairs, scooping up her purchases on the way past.
‘Give me ten minutes?’ she tossed over her shoulder.
Back In Her Husband's Bed (Bedded By Blackmail) Page 13
