Back In Her Husband's Bed (Bedded By Blackmail)

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  ‘But?’ Eliza prodded.

  Carli met her friend’s probing gaze. ‘He had second thoughts and retracted the offer.’

  ‘I guess he isn’t game to remarry you considering how it ended the last time,’ Eliza commented wryly.

  Carli gave an inward grimace at her friend’s reminder of the bitterness of the past. She’d certainly stormed out of his life with all her feminist guns blazing.

  ‘If he really wanted me in his life permanently, surely he would have said so by now?’ she said after a pause.

  ‘Men are strange creatures, Carli. What they say and what they actually mean can be two totally different things. Who knows what he’s thinking? I haven’t worked out my own husband’s head, let alone that of yours.’

  ‘Have you seen Aidan lately?’ Carli snatched at the subject change with relief.

  ‘I saw him yesterday.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘I told him I was unwell and now on medication for my condition.’

  ‘What was his reaction?’

  ‘I think he’s of the wait-and-see mind set.’ Her mouth twisted ruefully. ‘I was quite a shrew to him for months so I can hardly blame him. But at least he didn’t mention the word divorce while he was here.’

  ‘Are you feeling any better yet?’

  ‘It takes ages for the medication to kick in but to tell you the truth as soon as the doctor told me what was wrong I felt better. For months I thought I was losing my mind. At least now I know I’m going to get better even if it takes a while to get things on an even keel.’

  ‘At least you’ve got a valid excuse for being a pain in the neck,’ Carli said dispiritedly. ‘I wish I had one.’

  ‘I don’t know, pregnancy is kind of a hormonal shakeup too, you know.’

  ‘That might explain the last few weeks but it doesn’t excuse what happened five years ago.’

  ‘If you had your time over again, what would you change?’ Eliza asked.

  ‘I don’t know…maybe I would have explained about my background.’

  ‘You always were very secretive about that,’ Eliza observed. ‘What actually happened?’

  Carli told her and when she’d finished was surprised at how much more relaxed she felt. It was as if a load had been taken off her back, a huge load she’d been trying to keep hidden even as it bent her double with the effort.

  ‘You should have told me,’ Eliza said.

  ‘That’s exactly what Xavier said.’

  ‘Yeah, well, he of all people had a right to know. Jeepers, Carli, you were married to him, for God’s sake. If you didn’t trust him enough with your deepest fears, why did you marry him in the first place?’

  Carli compressed her lips as she thought about how to answer. She had loved him both wildly and desperately. She’d given him her body and her heart but not her trust. She’d kept that part of herself separate, unwilling to allow another person to let her down as both of her parents had done each in their different ways.

  ‘I guess you’re right,’ she said at last. ‘I didn’t give our marriage a chance right from the outset. Now of course it’s too late, much too late.’

  ‘It’s only too late when someone dies,’ Eliza said. ‘Then it’s truly over.’

  ‘So you haven’t completely given up hope on your relationship with Aidan?’ Carli asked, looking at her intently.

  Eliza gave a little shrug which spoke volumes. ‘I hate using clichés but I think time is a great healer. Even a few days can make all the difference, let alone months or even years. I can’t expect Aidan to walk back into my life as if nothing had happened but I can at least try to make up for the damage I’ve caused to our relationship, unintentional as it was.’ She got to her feet and held out a hand to her. ‘Come on, you’ve gone bug-eyed on me just like Amelia does when she’s been up too long. What you need is a good night’s sleep and, to use yet another cliché, things will look much brighter in the morning.’

  Carli hoped she was right, but even as she lay watching the dawn sky being written on by the far-reaching golden fingers of the rising sun the next morning, she still felt as if her world was turning a gloomy grey…

  CHAPTER TEN

  CARLI heard the sound of Brody crying and finally gave up on the notion of sleeping in to make up for her restless night. She padded through to the nursery and reached for him with a soft smile.

  ‘You make an awful lot of noise for such a little person, do you know that, Brody?’

  Brody smiled and tugged at her loose hair, his tiny legs wrapping around her with such snuggly warmth that a deep wave of maternal longing passed through her at the thought of her own child reaching for her in the not too distant future.

  She turned to find the silent Amelia standing in the doorway, watching her steadily.

  ‘Hi there, Princess Amelia.’ Carli moved towards the door. ‘Want to help me find a bottle and formula for your baby brother? I thought we should let Mummy sleep in for a while.’

  Amelia led the way out to the kitchen without saying a word, even the steps she took so deliberately silent that Carli wondered yet again what was going on in that little blonde head.

  Within a few minutes Brody was happily sucking on his bottle while Amelia pushed a few spoonfuls of cereal to her mouth, her big blue eyes so serious it pained Carli to look into their solemn depths.

  ‘My daddy doesn’t live here any more,’ Amelia announced into the silence.

  Carli wasn’t sure how to manage such a blunt statement from one so young. ‘I…I see.’

  ‘He doesn’t love us any more.’

  ‘Darling, I’m sure he still loves you…he’s just…’ Her reply trailed off at the cynicism in the blue-eyed stare coming her way.

  ‘Do you think it’s my fault?’ the little girl asked.

  ‘Of course it’s not your fault!’ Carli placed Brody in his high chair and came to squat down beside Amelia’s chair, taking her hand in hers and stroking it affectionately and, she hoped, reassuringly. ‘Mummy and Daddy need some time to sort things out, that’s all. It’s nothing to do with you or even Brody. You must always remember that.’

  ‘Is Mummy going to die?’ The china-blue eyes shone with brimming tears.

  ‘No, darling girl, she’s not going to die. She’s taking some special tablets to make her well but it’s going to take some time for them to work. She’ll be as good as new soon.’

  ‘Will Daddy come back then?’

  Carli swallowed. ‘I don’t know… Why don’t we just wait and see?’

  Amelia released herself from Carli’s embrace and jumped down off her chair. ‘Can I watch TV now?’

  Carli straightened and smiled. ‘Of course you can, but only if Brody and I can join you.’

  The little mouth stretched into a semblance of a smile. ‘I’d like that. Mummy never has time to watch it with me. Do you like The Wiggles?’

  ‘I just love The Wiggles,’ Carli said and, scooping up the baby from his chair, followed the little girl to the lounge room, her own spirits lifting in response to Amelia’s.

  An hour or so later Eliza found the three of them cuddled up on the sofa, her daughter’s delighted giggles having woken her.

  ‘Sorry to leave you to babysit.’ She gave her tousled hair a rough comb with her fingers. ‘I slept so deeply last night. I didn’t even wake once.’

  ‘Good for you,’ Carli said. ‘It’s exactly what you needed. Can I get you some breakfast?’

  ‘Hey, you’re the house guest not the housekeeper.’ Eliza gave a mock-frown as she took the baby from her lap.

  ‘I’m enjoying myself.’ Carli got to her feet. ‘Will you excuse me, Amelia?’ she addressed the little girl. ‘I’m going to have a cup of coffee with Mummy in the kitchen; call me if you need anything.’

  ‘OK,’ Amelia smiled and turned back to the television.

  Eliza gave Carli a grateful look as they made their way to the kitchen. ‘I haven’t seen her smile in weeks,’ she said. ‘What did you do?’


  ‘Nothing.’ Carli reached for the kettle and filled it before continuing, ‘She just needed a little reassuring, that’s all.’

  Eliza placed Brody back in his high chair and gave him a toy to play with, stopping to ruffle his golden curls.

  ‘I know she misses Aidan,’ she said, still with her back to Carli. ‘But I can hardly bribe him to come back by using the children, can I?’

  ‘No…I guess not,’ Carli answered as she reached for two cups. She spooned instant coffee into both and turned to look at her friend. ‘What you need is some time with him one on one to talk about things.’

  ‘I can’t remember the last time we had time together without one or both of the kids there,’ Eliza said sadly, turning around to face her. ‘But he’ll never agree to go out with me now.’

  ‘Then we won’t tell him it’s you he’s going out with.’ Carli’s eyes twinkled with mischief.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Watch and learn,’ she said, reaching for the telephone. ‘What’s his mobile number?’

  Eliza rattled it off automatically.

  ‘Aidan?’ Carli sent Eliza a quick encouraging glance as he picked up. ‘This is Carli—er—Gresham here.’

  There was a tiny pause before Aidan responded, ‘Long time no hear, Carli.’

  ‘Yes…’ She pressed her lips together momentarily. ‘I…I was wondering if I could talk to you about something…’

  ‘Look, I’ve got enough problems of my own without getting involved with what’s going on between you and Xavier,’ he said before she could explain. ‘What is going on, by the way? I hear you’re having his baby. Is it true?’

  ‘Yes…it’s true.’

  ‘I hope things work out for you, Carli, I really do, but have you any idea of what you’re letting yourself in for?’

  ‘I think so.’

  ‘You’d better because kids change everything and before you know it you’re looking at a perfect stranger across the breakfast table, wondering what you ever had in common with them in the first place.’

  ‘Actually, that was what I wanted to talk to you about,’ she said. ‘I was wondering if you would be free for dinner tonight.’

  ‘Dinner?’

  ‘You have to eat, don’t you?’ she said, winking at the hovering Eliza.

  ‘Yes, but I don’t think Xavier would—’

  ‘Let’s not bring Xavier into this. Are you free tonight or not?’

  ‘Where were you thinking of going?’ he asked after another small pause.

  She named a well-known restaurant on the waterfront in The Rocks and crossed her fingers at Eliza as she waited for his response.

  ‘All right,’ Aidan said at last. ‘I’ll meet you at seven. In the bar.’

  ‘Great; thanks, Aidan, I really appreciate it.’

  She put the phone down after a short exchange of desultory pleasantries and gave Eliza a victory sign in the air.

  ‘You, my girl, are going on a date.’

  ‘I’ve got nothing to wear!’ Eliza’s hands flew to each side of her face.

  ‘So? We’ll go shopping and get something.’

  Eliza’s thin shoulders slumped. ‘But what about my hair?’

  ‘That’s what hairdressers are for. Now, stop looking for excuses and drink your coffee because we’ve got a big day ahead of us.’

  Carli stood back and looked at her friend just after six pm that evening and smiled with satisfaction. ‘You look fantastic, Eliza. Like a million dollars in fact.’

  Eliza grunted as she ran her hands down the calf-length carmine creation that skimmed her too slim build. ‘You mean we just spent a million dollars.’ She put a hand to her hair uncertainly. ‘You don’t think it’s a little…you know…too over-the-top?’

  Carli put her hands on her hips in a reproachful pose. ‘Where is the girl who used to be the life of every party? Come on, Eliza, this is your chance to show Aidan you’re still the woman he fell in love with all those years ago.’ She handed her the car keys and ushered her to the door. ‘Now, get out and have a good time.’

  ‘He’ll probably storm out as soon as he sees it’s me and not you.’

  ‘Tell him I had a last-minute change of plan.’

  ‘God, I can’t believe I’m even doing this,’ Eliza said as she checked her appearance once more in the hall mirror. ‘Go!’

  ‘All right already.’ Eliza spun for the door. ‘I’m going, I’m going.’

  Carli watched as she drove away and, crossing her fingers, prayed for a miracle.

  ‘Mummy looked like a princess,’ a little voice said from just behind her.

  Carli turned and smiled at Amelia. ‘She did, didn’t she?’ She took the little girl’s hand and gave it a tiny squeeze. ‘Now, what was that you said about me watching your favourite DVD with you?’

  Both the children were soundly asleep when Carli made herself a hot drink later that evening. She had only just put it down on the coffee-table when the door bell rang. Uncertain of who to expect at that hour, she peered through the curtains first to see if she could see who had arrived, her heart doing an instant somersault in her chest when she saw a shiny new top-of-the-range BMW parked outside.

  Xavier stood in the door frame, seeming to take up all the available space in it as he looked down at her. ‘Hi.’

  ‘Hi.’ She moved aside to let him in, closing the door softly behind her.

  ‘Are the kids asleep?’

  She nodded. ‘Out for the count.’ She twisted her hands together for an awkward moment. ‘Eliza’s not here but would you like a hot drink? I’ve not long boiled the kettle.’

  ‘I know Eliza’s not here.’

  She blinked up at him. ‘Y…you do?’

  A small smile lifted the edges of his mouth. ‘You’re really far too young and far too gorgeous to be playing the role of fairy godmother, you know.’

  Her heart tripped over at his description of her as gorgeous, especially since she was still wearing a considerable portion of Brody’s supper all over her cotton top.

  ‘How did you know?’

  ‘Aidan sent me a phone text.’

  ‘Was he very angry?’ Her shoulders shrank as she grimaced.

  ‘I wouldn’t have described it as angry,’ he said, ‘more gobsmacked.’

  She bit her lip in sudden consternation. ‘I hope I haven’t made things a whole lot worse.’

  ‘Well, she’s not home yet so things must be going OK so far,’ he pointed out.

  ‘I had to do something…’ She looked back up at him. ‘She loves him so much and the children are missing him dreadfully, especially Amelia.’

  His dark eyes held hers for a fraction longer than necessary.

  ‘They have to work it out for themselves; no one else can do it for them.’

  ‘I know…’ She lowered her gaze. ‘I just wish someone had…’ She stopped mid-sentence, surprised at how close she was to revealing her regrets over the collapse of their own relationship.

  ‘Had what, Carli?’ he prompted softly.

  ‘Nothing…’ She turned away for the kitchen. ‘I’ll re-boil the kettle so you can—’

  He caught the back of her top and brought her up against him, turning her to face him. ‘Tell me what you were going to say.’

  She ran her tongue over her dry lips.

  ‘Tell me, Carli,’ he repeated, ‘what did you wish someone had done?’

  She looked up at him without bothering to disguise her inner yearning. ‘I wish…I wish that someone had told me how differently I’d feel the morning after the divorce.’

  She saw his expression soften, saw too the way his eyes darkened with emotion. ‘You regretted our divorce?’ he asked, his hands tightening where they rested on her shoulders.

  She couldn’t stop her eyes from brimming with unshed tears. ‘From day one.’

  ‘Oh, baby,’ he groaned as he pulled her into his chest, one of his hands going to the back of her head, his fingers threading through th
e silky strands of her hair. ‘I regretted it too. You have no idea how much. Every day since, I’ve longed to see you, touch you, make love to you, and even argue with you if only I could have you with me.’

  She eased herself away to look up at him. ‘You don’t hate me?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Not even a little weeny bit?’

  ‘Nope.’

  Her fingers found the hem of his breast pocket and plucked at it absently. ‘So…if you don’t hate me, what exactly is it you feel for me?’

  He smiled down at her. ‘You mean you haven’t guessed?’

  Hope fluttered like a mad thing in her chest. ‘You’re not all that easy to read…’ she began. ‘But I was hoping you…’ Her words died away once more.

  ‘Hoping I’d what?’

  She took a deep breath and met his eyes. ‘I was hoping you loved me, just a tiny weeny little bit.’

  ‘Well, then, you’re in for a big disappointment,’ he said soberly.

  She stared at him, trying to decipher his expression. ‘I…I am?’

  ‘I don’t love you a little weeny bit at all,’ he said.

  ‘You…you don’t?’

  He shook his head. ‘I love you to distraction. When our marriage broke up I convinced myself I no longer felt anything for you but the last few months have taught me how wrong I was. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you.’

  She gaped at him in a combination of relief and wonderment. ‘You’re not just saying that because of the baby, are you?’

  ‘The baby is the best thing that could ever have happened to us,’ he said. ‘What else would have made us see each other again? We were both so proud and stubborn and independent. You wanted what you wanted and I didn’t just want what I wanted—I took what I wanted without even considering you at all.’

  ‘No, it wasn’t your fault,’ she said. ‘I was way too idealistic back then. I hardly knew what it was that I wanted myself.’

  ‘Do you know now?’

  She gave him a soft smile as she nestled closer. ‘I know I want you, that sort of goes without saying. I also know I want our baby, but as for my career…’

  ‘What if I offered you a partnership?’