Silent No More

by N. E. Henderson

What am I going to do? Part of me wants to kick her ass and another part of me...well, I don’t even know really. I’m really pissed and my heart aches. It’s Allison I hate.

  Why did it have to be her?

  For some reason, I’m not even considering Luke in my hatred. The Band Perry’s song “Done” pops into my head momentarily. That’s exactly the way I feel. I’m just…done.

  “I don’t know.” It’s all I say, because frankly, I just don’t know what to do when it comes to Allison. This is not a situation I ever thought I would find myself in.

  I look to a table across the room. There is an older couple eating. They look…happy. They look like they love each other and could tell each other anything. I don’t recall ever having a moment with Luke like that.

  “She called Katelyn, last night. She is upset that she hurt you, but she confessed she thinks she is in love with him.” Stacy grabs my hand and squeezes.

  Wow! I don’t even know what to say to that. I pull my hand out of her grasp.

  “In love…with Luke. What is that supposed to mean? Was yesterday not a one-time thing?” I say it aloud, but I’m really hashing it out to myself. I never even considered them to be having an affair. Is it an affair if you aren’t married yet?

  “I can’t answer that. I have no idea. Until last night, I had no clue she…they were, you know…screwing around.” Stace takes a sip of her drink. I think she knows more than she is saying, but I don’t push it. I know she is trying to tiptoe around my feelings. Stacy is usually blunter than she is being right now.

  After the waiter brings us the check, we throw down enough cash to cover the meals, drinks and tip. We get up, hug, and say our goodbyes, and then we both set out on our way to work.

  FOUR

  It’s right at one o’clock in the afternoon when I walk through the door of Art through a Lens. That is the name of my photography shop. Walking in, I smile and say “hi” to Jenny, who’s behind the front counter wrapping up a large framed 24x36 photograph of a ten-foot wave I captured in Hawaii last year.

  She flashes a bright smile at me and asks, “Do you need something to drink or help preparing for tomorrow?”

  “A bottle of smart water would be great, but no rush,” I reply. “I think I have everything covered for tomorrow. I just need to make sure the layout is perfect. I’ll be in my office if you need me.” I continue making my way to the back.

  Placing my purse on my chair in front of my computer, I walk over to the portfolio lying out on the long section of my L-shaped desk. I take a seat on the bench in front, placing my right leg underneath my butt to get comfortable. I know I’m going to be here for a while, dwelling over which photos should be where in this layout. I wasn’t this indecisive with the first book I published last year.

  A few minutes later Jenny walks in with my water and I take it from her hand, thanking her. She walks right back out of my office to go back to the front. I pop the cap up and take a sip. The water tastes refreshing as it eases down my throat. Afterwards, I place it to my far left so there isn’t a chance of spilling it. I’m somewhat clumsy.

  The front door chimes, but I ignore it. Jenny’s out front; she can deal with the customer. Today, I don’t need any distractions.

  The voices I hear are low, but I am able to make out Jenny saying, “Miss Taylor is busy today. Sir, would you like to make an appointment to come back to see her?” There is a pause before she continues. “Excuse me, sir, but you can’t go back there. Sir?”

  I feel his eyes on me before I see him. It’s that same warm tingling feeling that washed over my body this morning. I look up, over my left shoulder at the door. There he is, filling the doorframe with his large hard body; staring at me with those blue flames. Holy cow, this man is too hot for his own good.

  It should be a sin.

  Perhaps it is and I don’t know it. I’m a terrible Catholic who hasn’t been to church since my early teens. Now that so many years have passed, I wouldn’t dare take communion without confessing my secrets. And well…that just isn’t going to happen. You would think if a person could talk to someone, it would be easy to tell one’s priest. But it’s not. I did try once, but I chickened out before I even walked into the church.

  He clears his throat, pulling me out of my thoughts. My eyes roam over him from head to toe on their own accord. He’s dressed in the same suit he was wearing this morning, minus the jacket. The disappointment I felt earlier at the thought of never seeing him again vanishes. My eyes travel back up, locking onto his.

  Jenny is right behind him and tries to push her way into the room, but he doesn’t budge. “Excuse me, sir, but I−”

  “It’s okay, Jenny. He can stay,” I cut her off, but never break eye contact with him. How did he know where to find me? I don’t even know who he is, yet he’s standing here in my gallery, in my office; this makes me smile on the inside for some reason.

  “Okay, but call me if you need anything.” Jenny leaves to go back up front and we continue to stare at each other.

  I turn on the bench so I’m facing him with my hands in my lap, but I remain seated in the same position with my right leg tucked under me. He walks closer, coming inside my office. Now I’m looking up at him and he’s staring down at me.

  I’m the first to break eye contact, looking down at my hands. “What are you doing here, and how did you know where I worked?” I look back up to him while I wait for an answer.

  He reaches into his pocket and retrieves a small object. When he opens his hand, it reveals my ring lying in his palm. The one I had taken off at the bar last night. I hadn’t thought about it or even realized it was missing.

  What does that tell you, Shannon?

  “I didn’t have a chance to give this back to you this morning before you ran out.”

  “I didn’t run; I walked out,” I reply and stand up to take the ring from him. I did run out, but I didn’t think it was that obvious. Apparently, I'm wrong. When I reach to take the ring from his palm, he gently grabs my hand. The ring between our hands is the only thing keeping us from complete contact.

  I look up at him. I’m standing now, but I still have to look up a little to meet his eyes. I’m not a short person. I’m of average height at 5’7 He must be about eight inches taller, putting him at about 6’3. His shoulders are broad. His biceps and chest fill his dress shirt, making creases where I can see his muscles underneath.

  “It looked like you couldn’t get out of there quick enough,” he says in a low steady tone.

  God, I wish he would stop looking at me the way he does. I feel like I have knots in my stomach. This is not a feeling I’m used to.

  I take the ring from his palm and toss it on my desk. Looking back up, I say, “You didn’t answer the last part of my question. How did you know where I would be?”

  He takes a half of a step closer. I can feel his breath on my face and I can smell his scent. He smells fresh and clean. Like he just stepped out of a shower.

  I like it.

  “Your business card fell out of your purse last night. I didn’t know you would be here. I took a chance, and here you are.” The way he responds comes off odd. Like it’s forced and he tensed slightly when he said it. Plus my cards are zipped up in my wallet, so it’s a stretch that one just fell out. I don’t question him or call him on it though.

  I hear commotion out front. It’s Luke’s voice. The sound makes me want to break something.

  “Great,” I say sarcastically on a sigh. It’s just what I need today. I grab the ring from my desk and step around the intoxicating man in front of me and walk out of my office to the front. Luke and Jenny are talking. He’s dressed in blue scrubs for work.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I ask him in a harsh voice.

  I feel the stranger from last night coming to stand behind me. I don’t know why he’s here, but it makes me feel warm again, almost as if he is keeping me safe and protected. I ignore this and concentrate on Luke. I don’t want to see
him.

  Ever again!

  Luke walks up to me. He looks me in the eye as he’s only about an inch taller than I am. “We need to talk,” he says and grabs my arm at my elbow.

  I snatch it out of his grasp, taking a step back. The man standing behind me is so close I can feel his breath on the back of my hair and I tense. He notices because he places his hand on my shoulder and it immediately relaxes me.

  Luke looks at his hand on my shoulder then at the man standing behind me. His eyes land back on mine.

  He’s angry.

  “Who the hell is he?” Luke asks.

  I ignore his question because I can, and because I don’t know who he is, but at the same time, something inside me is glad he is here. I take the ring from my hand and toss it to Luke. He catches it in his right hand.

  “That’s yours. I don’t want it and I never want to see you again! Now get out of here! We! Are! Done!”

  Jenny is still behind the front counter looking uncomfortable, but doesn’t say anything. I doubt she has ever heard me raise my voice. I’m not usually like this and I’ve never brought drama to work before. I feel bad. Maybe I should have told her about yesterday, but we really don’t have that kind of relationship. She tries to busy herself. I can only imagine what this scene must look like.

  “Shut the fuck up, Shannon! You’re mine and we are not over!” Luke says with a condescending tone.

  Whoa!

  He has always been this way, but I don’t think I realized that until this moment. What the hell was wrong with me? I can totally see why Stacy and Ben have always thought he was a jerk.

  My eyes flare and I take a deep breath. “I don’t belong to anyone and I certainly don’t belong to your sorry, pathetic cheating ass!” I yell back at him. I want to lunge at him and scratch his eyes out, but instead, I’m grabbed by the waist and flipped around by the man whom I don’t know. The feel of his hands warms me. I should be angry at being manhandled, but I’m not. I want him to touch me again.

  “I believe she told you to leave, so I suggest you do that before I do it for you,” he says in a strong voice that’s filled with authority. I’m stunned. I don’t know what to make of this. Luke looks intimidated. I do a little shimmy dance inside.

  Take that, asshole!

  “Fuck off, Luke! Better yet, go fuck the little tramp you have been banging for God only knows how long,” I say before storming off, back in the direction of my office.

  I hear Luke as he’s walking out the door say, “This is far from over, Shannon.”

  The hell it isn’t!

  Damn, that felt good.

  I enter my office, stripping off the vest I’m wearing. I’m too hot and my breathing is rapid. I try to calm myself. I’m standing in the middle of my office taking several deep breaths when I feel him walk up behind me. He places both of his hands on my shoulders and begins to massage them softly. It feels nice. I want to wrap myself around his touch.

  I immediately relax again, and the tension I felt moments ago is gone. Who is he and why do I feel like this every time I’m in the same room with him? Slowly, I turn so I’m facing him again, looking up into his beautiful flaming-blue eyes.

  “So…mind telling me your name?” My voice is low and calm.

  “Nicholas,” he replies, while bringing his left hand back to my shoulder where he’d let go as I turned.

  “I take it you already know mine?”

  “I do.” He nods his head in confirmation.

  I pull away from him and go back to sit on the bench in front of my portfolio. My back is to him and I tuck my right leg under my butt, trying to feign calm. I feel him getting closer. He leans down and over me. He places his hands on the desk, caging me in. His front is touching my back, and again that damn heat covers my body from head to toe. I can only imagine how flushed my face is. Redheads can’t hide that shit as easily as others.

  “What is this?” he asks, while looking at the collection of pictures in front of me. I raise my head. It’s now touching his shoulder and our faces are parallel to each other.

  Damn, he smells good. If I turn to sniff him, would he notice? Probably. I remain looking forward.

  “Did we have sex last night?” I don’t look at him. That is the question I really wanted to ask this morning, but I didn’t have the courage.

  I feel him tense, but only a little. “If we’d had sex last night, you would still be feeling it this afternoon,” he replies.

  What the hell does that mean? Can this man not answer a straightforward question? I hate games. I want to know; at least, I think I want to know.

  “Damn it, Nick, stop dodging my questions and just answer me. Did we fuck? It’s a yes or no question!” My voice is strained and my face is flustered.

  “I told you my name is Nicholas. Don’t call me Nick, and no, we did not fuck last night!” I relax. At least I didn’t make that kind of horrible mistake while intoxicated. He turns his head and his mouth is against my right ear.

  “But when I do fuck you, your eyes will be wide open and you won’t forget it!” His tone is a whisper and his breath is cool on my skin. It makes my body shiver. I can’t say anything. The words aren’t coming to my mouth. I’m shocked. More shocked than I think I’ve ever been. Did he seriously just say that? And if we didn’t have sex, then where the hell did he sleep last night?

  “Where did you sleep?” I ask, sounding a little bolder now that I know I didn’t hop in bed with this guy.

  “The couch,” he states, like it should have been obvious. He grabs a photo lying on my desk and hands it to me. “You should use this for the cover. It’s perfect.” And with those last words, he walks out.

  Looking at the photo in my hand, I realize he’s right. It’s a photo of the statue of Saint Didacus, the patron saint of San Diego. This one photo completes everything. I’m done. No more agonizing over what goes where; he’s done my job for me. How did he know? I put the photo in its place before closing my portfolio and placing it in my large tote bag.

  Getting off the bench, I walk to the chair in front of my computer and remove my purse that is still sitting in the same spot I tossed it when I walked in. I sit down and log onto my computer. For the next few hours, I check my email and reply to everyone who needs one. Some I forward to Jenny to handle such as orders and invoices.

  At five o’clock, I shut down my computer and grab my purse to leave. It’s a miracle I accomplished anything this afternoon considering my inability to concentrate on things that weren’t hard muscles and fiery blue eyes. Who the hell is this guy? My mind is focused on him as I walk out to the front of my gallery. I decide I don’t need to know, and push all thoughts of Nick out of my mind. I have enough drama in my life already.

  I need to stop by a few stores to buy some new clothes to last me until I get mine from my apartment. Luckily, I don’t have to go far. My gallery is in a strip mall that has most of my favorite stores. After locking the door, I head straight to Eve’s. It’s a dressy boutique.

  I should have made arrangements to pick up my things today, but I don’t want to deal with it yet. Seeing Luke earlier only made things worse, and it’s not like I know where I’m going yet. How the hell did I get here? Yesterday morning I thought life was peachy. Well apparently, it wasn’t.

  Once I enter, Melanie greets me with a warm smile that takes me away from my negative thoughts.

  “Hey Shannon, if there is anything I can help you with just let me know,” she says as she goes back to helping a blonde with a blue satin dress.

  I’m in here almost every other day, so most of the sales ladies know me by name. As I look around the store, I decide on a pair of jeans, two fitted shirts, a snug black strapless dress, a grey sleeveless dress with a grey jacket and black belt, and black pumps. Melanie checks me out and I head to the next store.

  Walking into Dentelle and I know exactly what I want. I pick out two white silk bras and a black strapless one along with three pairs of panties to match. On the
way to the checkout counter I grab a pair of black stockings and a pair of nude-color ones.

  After walking out of the store, I head to my car with a bag in each hand.

  * * * * *

  Walking into the lobby of The Cove, I head for the elevators. When I arrive in front of the sleek black doors, I press the up button and wait patiently. The door opens a few seconds later and people begin to file out. Nick is the last to step through the doors when I look up. He stands just outside the elevator doors holding his arms across the opening so it doesn’t close.

  I know he’s waiting for me to step in, so I walk forward, but he stops me with his right arm before I am able to enter.

  “Hello, Miss Taylor,”

  I look up into his eyes. “I don’t like to be called by my last name. Goodbye, Nick,”

  He’s still holding my arm so I don’t move. He looks down at my bags. He eyes the Dentelle bag and smiles as he releases me. I like sexy undergarments, what can I say? I move into the elevator, pressing the number seven button.

  “I don’t like being called Nick.” He pauses then adds, “Oh...and Shannon, I do hope you bought silk.” He moves his left arm from the door so it shuts. The last thing I see is his half smile. Yet again, I’m left stunned and rendered speechless for the second time today. Apparently, this is an every time occurrence around him.

  Don’t get your hopes up, buddy. As hot as you are, I don’t plan on getting naked with you.

  I enter my room then toss all my bags onto the bed. I’m exhausted and am in need of a hot shower to help me relax. Walking into the bathroom, I turn on the shower and strip out of my clothes. When I finish, I touch the water before stepping in to make sure it’s hot enough. I enter and stand under the steamy water cascading down my body; a sigh escapes me.

  Once my hair is washed, body cleaned, and legs shaved, I turn off the water and towel off. I wrap the oversized white cotton towel around my body, and then saunter over to the sink where I dry my hair. I have long, straight red locks that come down to the middle of my back. Its texture is fine, but thick. I’m lucky; my hair doesn’t require a lot of product to look decent. Just a comb through and it pretty much falls into place.