Silent No More

by N. E. Henderson

  “Are you sure, because you just freaked the fuck out on me. What the hell happened?” he asks. Damn. What can I tell him? I look over at him. He’s standing next to the bed in all his naked gloriousness. His wide eyes look down at me like he doesn’t understand, but wants to.

  “I don’t know. I…I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” That sounded believable, right?

  “You don’t know, or you don’t want to tell me?” he questions in an accusing tone. Maybe it didn’t come out as believable as it sounded in my head.

  Ugh, just let it go.

  “I said I wasn’t expecting it, so just leave it alone, okay?”

  “Fine and I’m sorry. Can I at least get back in bed, now?” he asks as he reaches for the blanket to pull the covers back. I nod my head indicating yes; I mean, this is his bed not mine. I don’t have a right to tell him either way. He is reluctant for a brief moment, but then shakes his head and slides under the covers. He opens his arms and I leap into them. Fuck, I can’t believe I did that. Nick pulls the covers out from under me and yanks them over us.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper into his chest.

  “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have tied you up without asking you first. It won’t happen again. Let’s just go to sleep.”

  It sounds like a wonderful plan. I don’t know if I’ll manage sleep, but I’ll try. I inhale deeply and blow the air back out. I relax into his arms, forcing myself not to remember. Eventually, I fall asleep.

  SEVEN

  I wake up in the center of the bed, lying on my stomach. Rising up, I twist my head to look at the clock on the bedside table. It reads 8:49 am. This is a typical time for me on a Saturday morning. I’m pretty lazy on the weekends.

  I roll out of bed and walk over to his dresser drawers to borrow some clothes. I settle on a black Ralph Lauren tee shirt and his black boxer briefs. The shirt is big and swallows me. I roll the band on the boxer briefs so they do not fall off and I go into the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth.

  I feel a little stiff. After rinsing my mouth out, I leave the bathroom and go find Nick. Walking into the kitchen, I see him on the back deck throwing a ball for the dogs. As I walk out the door, he turns to me. He looks happy and relaxed.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he says as he walks up to me, and gives me the softest and sweetest kiss on my lips. “Someone used my toothbrush,” he says while chuckling. I reach for the ball in his hand.

  “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind,” I say, taking the ball from him. The dogs are waiting patiently for the ball to be thrown. I throw it and they both run for it. Charmin is not nearly as fast as Niko. Poor girl probably never gets the ball.

  “You can use anything of mine, and wear anything of mine,” he says as Niko brings the ball back to him, bypassing me. My feelings aren’t hurt. Taking the ball from Niko’s mouth, Nick tosses it into the yard and the dogs take off after it again.

  Nick comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me. “You look good in my underwear,” he says, and I look back at him over my shoulder and smile.

  “You don’t look half bad yourself in a workout shirt and gym shorts,” I say as he’s hugging me tightly. Nick is wearing a black sleeveless Under Armor shirt and matching black gym shorts. Man, he has nice big arms. The ink that’s wrapped around his biceps only helps to enhance the bulging muscles.

  “Are you planning on working out this morning?” I ask.

  “Yes, I’m meeting Jase and Nikki at Knocked Out in about thirty. Do you want to come?” he asks while moving my hair out of the way to kiss my neck.

  “Isn’t that a gym for MMA fighters?” I ask, recalling him telling me his sister’s name is Nikki.

  I really like it when he kisses that spot.

  “Yeah. Do you want to come with me? You can meet my sister,” he says while bending down and picking Charmin up off the ground.

  “No, I have a few errands to run today. Would you drop me off at my car? I left it at Katelyn and Stacy’s apartment yesterday,” I say, remembering I have to pick up my stuff from my old apartment. I’m really dreading going there.

  “Actually, it’s already in the driveway. Shane and your friend Katelyn brought it by an hour ago,” he replies while petting Charmin. She is really a beautiful puppy.

  So, Katelyn made nice with Nick’s friend? I snicker to myself.

  “So why is your sister going to be there?” I ask.

  He chuckles. “She’s an amateur fighter so she’s there more than I am,” he replies while sitting the puppy on the ground next to Niko.

  “Do you fight too?” I follow him inside the house, closing the door behind me. The dogs stay on the deck playing with each other.

  “Not in the sense you’re probably thinking. I mainly only train with Jase. He’s dating my sister, so getting to kick his ass five days out of the week is how I deal with my sister’s relationship with my best friend,” he replies with a smile. He doesn’t seem uneasy about it at all. Now the odd comment from last night makes sense. Jase really is off limits. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, but I imagine it’s weird for a sibling to be dating one’s friend.

  “Where are my keys?” I ask. “I need to get my clothes out of my car and change,” I tell him.

  “I already got your things out. Everything is lying on the counter in the laundry room,” he says, pointing to a room off the side of the kitchen.

  “Thanks.” I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He bends down and kisses me on my lips. This man could kiss me for the rest of my life and I don’t think I would tire of them.

  Mmm…

  “I’ll be at Knocked Out for most of the day. Come by when you get done.” He isn’t asking, but I don’t care. I want to see him in action, and I want to spend more time with him. I don’t know where this is going, but I really like him.

  He releases me and heads for the front door. He turns back to face me. “There’s a spare key under one of the cushions in the chair out front. Take it and lock up before you leave. Later, babe,” he says while closing the door behind him.

  I walk into the laundry room, and find the bag with my blue jeans and fitted white shirt. I grab them along with my bra and panties, and head for the master bathroom to take a shower.

  Walking in the bedroom, I lay my clothes out on the bed and walk into the bathroom. I turn on the shower to hot and wait for the right temperature. While I’m waiting, I strip and toss Nick’s clothes in the hamper.

  Stepping into the shower, the water feels heavenly; I stand there letting the heat wash over my stressed body.

  My mind replays last night. I can’t believe I freaked out like that. I can only imagine what Nick must think. I’m thankful he didn’t bring it up this morning. That isn’t a conversation I can have with him or anybody else for that matter. Some things need to stay wrapped up for forever, and that’s one of them.

  I wash my hair and body using the products he has in his bathtub. Once I’m done, I turn the water off and step out, grabbing a large white towel from the rack. I towel off, discard the towel onto the floor, and then walk into the bedroom for my clothes.

  After throwing on some clean clothes, I go back into the bathroom to look for a hair dryer, but there isn’t one, or if there is I can’t find it so I comb through my wet hair and part it on the left side. It will just have to air dry. I don’t have an issue with this. I let my hair air dry often. Sometimes just because, but most of the time because I’m too lazy to blow-dry it.

  I still have Katelyn’s riding boots, so I make my way back to the laundry room for them. I put them on and head out the door. I locate the spare key and lock the door.

  Getting into my car, I start the ignition. It’s obvious that Shane drove my car over; the seat is pushed all the way back and I have to adjust it.

  I pull out of the driveway and head to the former apartment I shared with Luke. The life I had only a few days ago. I’m really dreading this and I’m praying he’s not home. I’m hoping he did the one t
hing I told him to do and isn’t there.

  This is unlikely since its only 9:30 AM. He’s probably in bed asleep. He usually goes out with his friends on Fridays like I do after his rounds are over.

  It takes thirty minutes to reach the apartment. His car is not in the parking lot and I say a silent prayer, thanking God. I turn the ignition off and head in. Unlocking the door, I walk in and all seems quiet.

  I walk into the bedroom and confirm he isn’t there. “God does love me,” I say out loud. I quickly go to the closet and pull out my large luggage bag.

  I grab all of my clothes first, leaving the hangers on them, and toss them in the luggage case before taking it out to my car. Once it’s shoved into my backseat, I head back in and finish packing the rest. It takes both of my gym bags to pack all my shoes. From the bathroom, I only grab my makeup, hair dryer and jewelry. My essentials and accessories are in their own containers, so I quickly tote everything to my car, placing them in the front seat and floorboard.

  I go back inside the apartment grabbing my two cameras and a black and white photograph hanging on the wall. Looking behind me, I take in the apartment one last time. Luke can keep all the furniture, dishes, and bed. I hate all this traditional-style crap he picked out. I’m going to enjoy decorating a new place.

  I leave my key on the coffee table and head out the door. Walking around to the front of my car, I open the trunk. I know it’s called a boot, but I just can’t call it that. Once I have my equipment stored away, I hear a voice yelling my name close behind me. I already know who it is before I turn around.

  “What the fuck do you want, Allison?” I ask through clenched teeth. I hate her and I’ve never hated anyone in my life. I really don’t like this feeling.

  “Shannon, please talk to me. I’m sorry. I really am. You are my best friend. Please talk to me,” she pleads. Is this bitch for real?

  “We are no longer best friends! Hell, we are no longer friends! Of all the people to do this, I never would have imagined it would have been you!” I shout a little too loudly. I really don’t like this. My neighbors can probably hear.

  “I wanted to tell you about what happened. I did, honest. I just didn’t know how, and then it just continued…” she starts to trails off.

  “It was more than a onetime occurrence?” I ask with a dazed look, bile making its way toward my throat. I’m shocked. Yeah, Stacy made me question this for a brief moment, but Allison just confirmed it.

  “I love him, Shannon, but I never meant to hurt you. I swear I didn’t. I love you too; we’re like sisters,” she says with tears forming in the bottom of her eyes. Now, I’m pissed the fuck off. I don’t care if she cries. She needs to cry. She needs to hurt the way she hurt me.

  “A sister wouldn’t have done this,” I yell. “You two can go fuck yourselves! I don’t care about Luke. You can fucking have him. In fact, it was pretty eye opening walking in on him cheating, but you...I’ll never forgive you,” I say, feeling all the hurt coming back up to the surface as I yank the driver’s door open. I jump in the driver’s seat and slam the door in her face. She is lucky I’m not beating her ass right now. I shove the key into the ignition; I turn it with a quick flick of my wrist before I change my mind. One last look at her, and I see Allison is still crying. I hear her ask me not to leave, to stay and talk to her. She is whimpering out an “I’m sorry,” as I pull out of the parking lock. What she doesn’t understand is that what she did, what they did together is…un-fucking-forgivable!

  It’s only 11:30, still morning, and I don’t want to go see Nick angry, so I decide to go shopping for a few hours. Buying new things always brightens my day. I head to the strip mall. The same one my gallery is in.

  I buy more lingerie at Dentelle. A girl can never have too many panties. I walk past a trendy dog store and decide to go in, thinking I might get a few treats for Niko and Charmin. I walk down each aisle grabbing things I like.

  I leave, having purchased a bag of dog treats, another ball−so they each have one−two huge, plush dog pillows and two new collars. I noticed Niko’s looked old and Charmin doesn’t even have one. How is he going to take her on a walk if she doesn’t have a collar?

  After stopping by Starbucks to get a Mocha Frappuccino Grande, I go by the gallery to check on Jenny. I walk in carrying all my bags and coffee.

  I see her helping Mr. Chaney with his order. I think it’s the framed photograph she was wrapping up on Thursday afternoon. He’s been a client of mine for a few months now. He has at least three of my photos in his home, and one in his office. This will make his fifth.

  He and Jenny look at me when I walk in through the door. Jenny is surprised to see me, and it’s showing across her face. I’m never here on Saturday, unless she is sick or on vacation. “What are you doing here?” she asks.

  “I was shopping. Decided to stop by,” I reply with a shrug of my shoulders. “Hello, Mr. Chaney,” I turn greeting the customer. “How are you today?” I ask as I sit my heavy bags on the counter.

  “Shannon, will you please call me Jeffery? I hate it when you call me Mr. Chaney. It’s too formal. You make me think we aren’t friends,” he says while walking up to me and giving me a tight hug. Awkward. I pat him on the back, like I would a dog. I didn’t realize we were friends. He is always sweet to me, probably only a few years older too, but as a client, I prefer to call him by this surname. Plus, he’s always a little too touchy-feely, so I don’t want him to get the wrong impression.

  “Sorry, Jeffery. I’ll remember next time,” I say, taking a step back from him. I turn my attention to Jenny. “So is everything good? Do you need anything from me while I’m here?” I ask.

  “No. I have it covered. You go and enjoy you day off,” she says while handing Jeffery a receipt.

  I grab my bags from the counter and Jeffery takes them from me. “Let me help you with those,” he says, but doesn’t wait for my okay before he is walking out the door.

  I follow him, waving bye to Jenny behind me. “Jeff, really I can tote them. My car is only parked over there,” I say, pointing straight down the parking aisle in front of my gallery. He gives me a questionable look. I don’t think he likes me calling him Jeff. Oh, well, what’s a girl to do! It’s what I do. I shorten everyone’s name, everyone except Katelyn. She is not a fan of “Katie”, or any version thereof. He opens the door for me.

  “Nonsense, it wouldn’t be gentlemanly of me if I didn’t carry them to your car,” he says, while stepping off the sidewalk and walking in the direction of my car.

  “I’m in the black Porsche,” I say as I unlock the passenger side door, and let him put everything in the seat. There is no room in my trunk or back seat. “Thank you for your help,” I say, shutting the door.

  “What are all your things doing in your car? Are you moving?” he asks as he follows me around to the driver’s side. Hmm…personal much!

  “I moved out of my apartment this morning,” I reply, without going into detail.

  “Oh? I noticed you aren’t wearing an engagement ring any longer. Did you and what’s his name…it starts with an “L”, I think...” he says, but I finish his sentence because I want to get out of here quickly.

  He’s being too friendly and getting too personal for my liking.

  He is an attractive man, but not my type. Although, no one else is my type since Nick came into the picture. Jeffery is tall and lean with blond hair and deep grey eyes. I don’t like his eyes. Their chilling color sends a shiver down my spine when I look into them. They make me remember things I’ve pretended didn’t happen for a very long time. “It’s Luke,” I finally tell him. “And yes, we broke up a few days ago,” I finish while opening my door.

  “Shannon,” he coos my name as he places his hand on my shoulder. I turn around to face him. And here’s that uncomfortable feeling I get when I’m in his presence alone. “When you’re over him, I’d like to take you out to dinner,” he states, rather than asks. What he doesn’t know is that I’m already
over Luke.

  “I’m kinda seeing someone already,” I say, because it’s somewhat true and I’m currently staying with him. I really have to get an apartment quickly. Nick is going to get tired of seeing so much of me.

  “Already?” he draws out. “Is it serious?” he asks, still touching my shoulder, and still making me uncomfortable. I start to squirm. I hate these types of situations. Especially when the guy isn’t taking no for an answer, but I can’t lie. Nick and I aren’t serious. At least, I don’t think so. We just met.

  “No, it’s not, but I want to see where it’s going,” I say, sounding like I’m making excuses for myself. In a way, I am, but I wouldn’t want to go to dinner with him even if there was no Nick.

  “Well, the offer is on the table,” he says and pulls out a card and hands it to me. “My cell number is on the back should you reconsider. Have a lovely day, Shannon,” he says, turns on his heel and walks away. I take his card and stick it in the back pocket of my jeans.

  I rush inside my car and take a deep breath. Those eyes give me the creeps. There’s no chance in hell I’d go on a date with him. I push him out of my mind and start the ignition.

  Pulling out of the parking lot, I head in the direction of Knocked Out. The drive is only about twenty minutes from my gallery. I’m hungry. I hope Nick hasn’t had lunch yet.

  I arrive, get out of my car and walk into the building. The gym is large and the main area is open. There is a boxing ring, a steel cage, lots of weights, and punching bags scattered around.

  “You must be Shannon.” I hear a soft feminine voice say from behind me. When I turn around, I find an attractive woman with long, wet, dark-brown hair standing in front of me. She has intense, fiery blue eyes; the same eyes Nick has. In fact, she looks just like him, only the female version. I assume this is his sister, Nikki.

  “What gave that away?” I ask as she approaches me. Her smile matches Nick’s. She’s about my height and size. She’s wearing a tight-fitted white sleeveless shirt and long black gym pants. On her wrists, I notice some ink, but I don’t want to come off as staring so I don’t see what the tattoo says. I do, however, catch the ink on her right upper arm. It’s a beautiful scene of small and medium size black birds. They look like they are flying away. I get the sense of freedom and peace etched on her arm.