Shifting Problems

by Jason Paul Rice

  Navigating through the early morning in darkness, I hit the alley behind my house and strained my sore neck to locate intruders. Early detection was the key. I didn’t trust my normal instincts so I summoned some magic to heighten my senses.

  I opened the creaky back fence to my house and slowly tiptoed up my backyard to my basement door. Confident the cops were gone, my fear shifted to getting into another supernatural fight. Even if I were to win, the brawl would surely arouse the suspicion of the police and effectively get me killed.

  I pushed the key in the slot and twisted. I turned the knob and pushed, covering my nose to cancel out the funky smell, but it didn’t work. I walked quietly up my basement steps and stuck my head into the kitchen.

  It still looked like an official crime scene with note markers in the kitchen and living room. The caution tape through the crack of my misaligned door was visible from the kitchen. I went into the living room and there were still bloodstains on the hardwood floor.

  I went upstairs and noticed the cops had gone through my bedroom and bathroom. Did they go into the attic? Looking at the handle on the ceiling for the secret door, it appeared to be untouched, but I reached up and pulled on it to check it out for myself.

  The steps came down. I unfolded them and climbed up into the attic. There was still a strong signal of magic coming from the room. Why hadn’t the Jersey Devil sent someone else to destroy or recover the box? The only sensible notion was that the Empusa had told him that the job had been completed.

  I hustled across the dusty hardwood and felt the power of the box before opening the panels on the floor. Dust mites danced in the dim light as I dropped to my knees. I pulled the loose floorboards aside and pushed the blanket away.

  The object had a red glow surrounding it that moved with the box when I picked it up. I dragged it downstairs and used all my strength to get it up on my kitchen table. I stared at the intimidating piece of wood, knowing it could kill me to open it. Opening it could also unleash an unknown virus around the world. It could literally do anything.

  Was the Jersey Devil setting me up with the box? Maybe? No. Why would the Empusa have come after it? I imagined he hadn’t expected me to defeat the Empusa. Nothing made sense anymore as I played with the sticky duct tape around the edges.

  I started peeling it away to see if anything seeped out from the cracks of the box. I didn’t feel a substantial increase in magic so I kept prying the silver tape away. I had gotten most of the tape off and the red glow remained around the rectangular object.

  I ripped away the last piece of tape and something started to move inside the box. I could hear scraping sounds against the sides, and suddenly the top of the box started to bow out. A thumping started, like the beating of a heart and the top of the box went up and down.

  The wood started to crack and I made a quick choice, which is sometimes more important than making the correct one. I grabbed the sides of the top of the two-piece box and pulled. The stubborn adhesive still tried to hold the box together until one mighty yank did the trick.

  The top was blown into the ceiling, shattering the wood, and dislocating the rafters above. A dark energy in the form of a red fog started to spill from the box. The powerful energy knocked me onto my back and the rotten egg stench made me want to puke.

  The red cloud streaked in different directions, flowing through the cracks in the house to get outside. It streamed through the opening in the front door and a cracked window in the kitchen as I made it back to my feet.

  The red fog had disappeared, thankfully taking the odor with it, and leaving an innocuous bottom of a box with Manila papers inside. The top few pages had been destroyed from the opening. I found several cockroach talismans in the box, one in each corner. I scooped out the papers, brushing the back of my fingers on the red velvet bottom.

  Most were in the 4 x 6 inch range and the page on top had a sketch of an eclipse on it with the date 10-31-17. I grabbed a few more pages, but they were written in a language I had never seen before. I quickly became demoralized because most of the pages were in the same language.

  I was prepared to give up when I got to the last piece of parchment. Somebody had messed up. This one had English writing next to the other language. I laid it out on the table.

  “A God, a demi-devil and one thousand alike.

  Drive that spike, Drive that spike, Drive that spike.”

  That was it. I riffled through all the papers trying to make sense of it.

  A knock on my wall caused me to jump up from the table. “Mike? Is that you in there?”

  I recognized Reginald’s voice and walked closer to the permanently closed door that separated our duplexes. “Reg, I’d ask for your help, but I don’t want to get you involved in any of this mess.”

  “Man, this is keeping me alive. Keeping my blood flowing. Not the bad stuff about you, but the craziness in Pittsburgh right now.”

  “If you want to come over for a few minutes, I could use some help figuring this out. Bring Colossus too.”

  Reginald came around to the back porch and I helped him get his chair into my house. His eyes widened when he saw the materials on my kitchen table.

  “That’s the box, huh?”

  “Yep. Now if I could only put his together, I could clear my name with the cops and the Gods.” I looked Reginald in the eyes. “You know I didn’t do it, right?”

  He picked up a couple of papers and checked them out. “I wouldn’t be over here if I didn’t believe you. I ain’t trying to get killed just yet. Plus, I know you didn’t do it. I heard the so-called cops talking to that guy in your house right after you left. They’re setting you up bigtime.”

  “That’s not the half of it. I got a message from Gretchen saying that the cops have video footage of me killing two other cops at the station. You know I never went to the station.”

  He looked at a few more pages and nodded. “I know that’s right. It’s all over the news though. Big manhunt for you right now. Why are the Gods after you? I thought you were friends with them.”

  “They want me for the supposed murders too. They prefer to inflict their justice before it happens on earth.”

  “Wouldn’t they know that you were being set up?” he asked.

  “Thank you. I thought the same thing but the Jersey Devil must be using some sort of shifter magic that I don’t even know about. He’s got people shifting to look like me. He’s breaking all the rules.”

  Reg touched the box with his fingertips and pulled them back quickly. “Ain’t that some shit. Can’t trust demi-devils anymore, huh? Ha ha.”

  I let out a little chuckle and it felt good. “Guess not. The whole world is going to hell.” My joked missed.

  “Why don’t we set that aside for a few and find out what’s going on here.” Reg moved closer to the table and I sat back down.

  I gave him the only note in English as he stared at the sketch of the lunar eclipse.

  “Obviously, it has something to do with lunar eclipse tonight.” He read the paper.

  “I’m thinking he’s going to use the lunar power to strengthen his shifters for the G20. Maybe he’s making shifters with super powers?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “That kind of makes sense. But what about the note?”

  “I still don’t know what that’s all about.”

  Reg tapped his bearded chin with his thumb. “One God. You said they kidnapped the Young Son, right?”

  “Yes. I think you might be onto something here.” I sat up on the bench.

  “So yeah, then you got the demi-devil as the Jersey Devil. And you said he’s got a bunch of shifters on his side.”

  Reg, you are a genius. “Holy shit. I totally forgot about that when I was researching the Jersey Devil. He stirs up the hellhounds so they can finally lock the gates of hell. That’s what all the hellhound shifters were all about. That’s what the cauldron of dog bones was for.”

  Reg’s eyes narrowed. “You’re losing me here.�
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  I tried to slow down. “He’s going to use the power of the eclipse and enhance it by combining a God and a thousand shifters to drive the spike into the gates of hell, locking them forever. If he locks the gates, all the dirty souls headed for hell will be redirected back to the earth’s surface.”

  “That’s no good.”

  “No, you’re right about that. So a God, a demi-devil and a thousand alike. They are all going to cast a spell at the same time during the eclipse. He’s got mind control over the shifters and he’s kidnapped Mabon. The Jersey Devil is going to try to lock the gates of hell. I still don’t know how he is going to carry it out, but I think we found out his grand scheme. I’m guessing the G20 stuff was just to cause a diversion. With everyone concentrating on that, it cleared the way for him to set up the eclipse event.”

  21

  Reg put the papers back on the table. “And he was just trying to get you out of the way by asking for that book.”

  “Looks like it. He’s quite the crafty one.” The Jersey Devil still had a great advantage and I didn’t want to run into any more of his dirty tricks.

  Reg softened his tone, “I guess this puts off our plan to go check out the eclipse down in the city?”

  “Are you sure you want to do that? The police have been instructed to shoot me on sight, Reg,” I warned him.

  “I don’t care about none of that. I want to get out and get up in the mix again. But I understand if you think I would be a burden or something.”

  I had made a promise. “Reg, I’d still love to take you down for the eclipse but if duty calls, I might have to abandon you. Fair warning.”

  “Man, that’s totally fine. It’s Halloween though.”

  I’d nearly forgotten. “Oh yeah, sorry. Happy Halloween.”

  Reg shook his head. “No. That’s not what I’m getting at. You can wear a costume today and it won’t seem out of the ordinary.”

  “Reg, you are just what this scrambled head needed. Thanks for helping me figure this one out. I have a favor to ask you.”

  “What’s that now?”

  I got nervous. “I want to know if I can borrow your car. I need to have a vehicle now that I can’t use Uber because of my America’s Most Wanted status. Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to it.”

  “I should ask my son if he needs it tomorrow.”

  I tried to sway him. “Screw him, Reg. It’s your car.”

  “I know I know. It’s just…aahh, go ahead. I’ll get you the keys when you take me back to my place.”

  I hated to have to do this. “One more thing. Do you have any cash I can borrow? If I use my card it might set off the alarms.”

  He immediately responded. “Sure thing, Mike. I don’t know how much I got, but you can have it.”

  “You the man, Reg. And you can give me a call when you want me to pick you up. Depending on circumstance, I should be right there. I still haven’t processed this last twist the Jersey Devil has thrown at me. I have to figure out where he can have a thousand shifters in one place without being detected.”

  Reg picked up Colossus and set the dog on his lap. He said, “Sucks you can’t call Gretchen and put the fuzz on it. I don’t think a thousand shifters could just blend into a haunted house party.”

  That spurred an idea. “Regardless, I still need to find out if there are any huge haunted houses in the area. It is a possibility. Every time I learn something new, it creates ten new problems. Now I have to decide on a costume for tonight. Good idea, Reg.”

  “I’ve had a few in my day.” He smiled and touched the box again.

  I asked him, “You getting dressed up? You gonna do Carl Weathers from Predator again so you can show off the guns and that massive chest?”

  Reg picked up the sketch of the eclipse again. “Ha ha. The weather guy said it’s supposed to be pretty chilly tonight, so I don’t think I’m doing that this year.”

  “Surprise me when I pick you up tomorrow.”

  “All right, I think I can do that.”

  I took Reg home and grabbed his car keys. I slept near the door in my basement in case I needed to slip out in a hurry. I woke up, noticed the sunlight and panicked. How long had I been out for? I listened for footsteps from above and ran up my steps when I didn’t hear anything. I grabbed my cell phone and the charger and looked out my front window. I checked the time. 9:15.

  I pulled Reginald’s car keys out of my pocket and moved my front door aside. I pushed the screen open just enough to sneak out, and peeked in both directions for the authorities. My heart raced out of control and I started to overheat. I took a deep breath, stepped through the caution tape, and ran out to Reginald’s Ford Taurus.

  I jumped in the driver’s seat as fast as I could and checked the rear view mirror. No cops. I turned the car on, slumped down in the seat, and shifted into drive. I pulled out and turned around at the gas station down the street to head downtown. I yawned and rubbed my eyes with my right hand, trying to clear the cobwebs and form a plan for the day.

  The first place I needed to stop was the Halloween costume store down in the Strip District. I grabbed a chilled Chai tea on my way to the store, my hoodie nearly covering my eyes to hide my identity. I chugged the caffeine-fueled liquid, but still felt extremely tired. I entered the store determined to find a great disguise.

  I strolled past the superhero section and saw police costumes. I decided that was a bit too brazen and kept shopping. The big warehouse contained a lot of costumes, which I checked out as I walked through.

  A nurse, a pumpkin, a boxer, a vampire, Beetlejuice, a firefighter, a sexy princess, a green pumpkin, Superman, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Ghostbusters outfit with an awesome proton pack.

  It made perfect sense, but was too obvious. Keeping my eyes peeled for the authorities, I plunged further into the rectangular warehouse and passed more costumes.

  A pregnant nun, a Viking, Jason from Friday the 13th, a female pirate, Cleopatra, a zombie, Freddy Krueger, Jon Snow, Robin Hood, a demon, the devil.

  I turned down another aisle and didn’t find anything. Frustrated, I took a deep breath and blew up my cheeks, not yet exhaling the air. A strange feeling centered in my belly and my gut burned. Not realizing I still hadn’t exhaled, my body started to expand. My belly bulged and my chest enlarged. I exhaled, but retained the size increase.

  I repeated the process and appeared to gain weight. Moving my bigger arms around, they felt the same. I seemed to be retaining the air somehow, bloating my appearance. Perfect for an undercover assignment. I took a few steps and didn’t notice any additional weight. It appeared as if I was about one hundred pounds heavier but it didn’t weigh me down.

  I increased my speed to see how fast I could move and let out a whispering release of gas. I lost a little bit of mass too. Huh. So I can retain the air, but if I move fast, it rushes out of my body.

  Very interesting. I walked around and let out little, silent farts until I reached a size I was happy with. Then I modified my search for bigger costumes and within seconds I found the winner.

  Anubis the Jackal.

  I liked all mythology and the dark, scary costume covered my entire body. I had obtained so many bumps and bruises that I was easily identifiable. The jackal mask with red eyes, ears standing up on top of the head and exposed fangs covered my face and didn’t hurt the stitches in my forehead.

  Visibility and internal temperature wasn’t the greatest, but it would have to do. I found a size for my expanded frame and looked at the price tag for the first time. $61.

  Reg had given me $127 in cash last night, but I hoped to hand most of it back to him. It was expensive, but the black and gold outfit blended perfectly with Pittsburgh. I paid for the costume and asked if I could use the fitting room to get changed. No need wasting time and getting caught.

  After locking the door to the dressing room, I stripped out of my clothes. I pulled the thick black tights up over my boxers and slid into the top. The long-sleeved pu
llover robe hung to my knees. I tied the golden sash around my waist and slid the wrist bands on. I grabbed the staff with the symbol of ankh on the end and scooped up my clothes.

  I went back to Reginald’s car and drove around for a while and then parked in a deserted parking lot. I put on the mask, hoping it would send the answers into my head. I was on the run from the Pittsburgh Police and the Deep Burrow. If either caught me, I was a dead man.

  I fell asleep for what seemed like five minutes and woke up to loud beeping. A tow truck was backing up in front of me.

  I grabbed the staff, left the mask on, and got out of the car. I checked the time. 4:11.

  In my haze, I noticed the tow truck driver was lining up Reginald’s car. I screamed, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m towing your car. What’s it look like?”

  I wanted to throttle him with magic. “I see that. Who told you to tow it?”

  “The lot owner. You got a problem with it, talk to him.”

  I hadn’t seen an attendant when I had pulled in earlier. I realized talking to the lot owner wasn’t going to get me anywhere, so I turned to the tow truck driver. “Look man, I’m right here with the keys to the car. You stop what you’re doing here, and I’ll give you sixty dollars. Stone cold cash. And you don’t have to do anything. Free money.”

  The short, compact man in overalls rolled his eyes at me again. “It’s already been called in to the company. Once I drive here, they get their money. Unless you got, oh let’s see now. With taxes and fees, it’s like two-hundred and forty dollars. So unless you can lay that kind of cheese in my hand, your car’s going on the rack.”

  “Nothing can be done?” I asked, almost pleading.

  “Not unless the lot owner, who our company has been doing business with for years, calls it off. And you got about ten seconds for that.” He laughed at me.

  I had nearly forgotten about Reg. Using my quick thinking, I dialed up a number on my phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Satoku, it’s me.”

  Silence. An unnerving silence. I said, “Hello.”