The Accidental Archmage: Book Two - Gifts of the Greeks (Accidental Archmage Series 2)

by Edmund A. M. Batara

  It was dark when he woke up. Judging from the hubbub he could faintly hear, it still must be evening. Making himself presentable, he went down to the main hall. It was full of guests and merrymakers. Finding no space among the tables, he went to the bar where Dionysus was sitting and looking over the merriment. One of his servants was acting as the barkeep.

  “Finally joined us, I see,” said Dionysus upon noticing Tyler.

  “This space taken?” Tyler asked, gesturing at a bar stool beside the deity.

  “No. Kept it for you.”

  “Have you seen Jorund and Habrok?”

  “No, not yet. Knowing Pappo, he’ll keep them with him for a while. Probably overnight. He’s excited about playing the part of a king under the threat of an invasion. I don’t think he had experienced that before.”

  “Good for him. I guess it would make him more amenable to spending for the defense of the city. It’s going to be costly.”

  “Don’t worry about the cost. With His Royal Highness that excited, we could have rebuilt Akrotiri if we had the time.”

  Tyler took his seat and looked over the place. People were drinking, groping the maidservants, laughing, and engaging in a good night’s fun.

  “Full house, I see.”

  “It’s always like this at night. We had to turn away a lot of guests. Though a few have the temerity to plan a disturbance tonight.”

  “Really? You let them in?”

  “They were here early. Waiting for you. But I really couldn’t be selective about those wanting to enter the inn. Bad for business. As far as people know, this is an inn with a tavern. Unless of course, they give obvious reasons to be refused admittance.”

  “Wait. Me? Again?”

  “Somebody must have been busy arranging it upon seeing you on that little hill.”

  “Where are they?”

  “Oh, don’t mind them. I already took care of it even before you came down. Just waited for you to be here so we can have some entertainment. The group which will rush to the toilet in a few seconds will be your admirers. Anyway, something to watch while waiting for your dinner.”

  True enough, after a while, a group of five men in various kinds of light leather armor and equipped with assorted weapons hurriedly stood up and rushed to the toilet which was to the right side of the main entrance of the inn.

  “Unfortunately, the toilet can only accommodate one at a time,” commented Dionysus.

  The five men reached the toilet, and the quickest among them was able to get in first. The rest milled around the toilet door for a while. Their bodies huddled in obvious pain and legs pressed together. Finally, the four rushed out of the inn. The guests near the main entrance glanced at the exiting men. Some guests had already covered their noses.

  “That’s nasty,” said Tyler.

  “Serves them right. They won’t be able to walk straight after that,” laughed Dionysus.

  “What will happen to them? When they recover, they’ll be back.”

  “My maenads already know where they’re staying. They’ll suffer for a while from their stomach issues, then at dawn, they won’t suffer anymore.”

  “You’re a dangerous one, Dio.”

  “As I have told you, I have my moments. I hoped to learn who hired them but I doubt if I will with that bunch. Probably employed by an intermediary. Simple cut-throats. But with the number of pantheons represented on that hill, it would be difficult to determine who’s responsible. Anyway, your dinner’s here.”

  Tyler turned and found his meal in front of him. A quiet barkeep. Unusually silent in his movements. Must have other and dangerous talents other than serving drinks, he thought. As he ate, he looked at Dionysus who was still looking over the general merriment.

  “Dio, I have been told somebody’s joining me also. A woman. Valkyrie in waiting. Name’s Astrid. Probably will be here in a day or two.”

  “I heard. Valkyries! Cold and calculating. Very quick to hack and slash. Feisty only in battle. Probably hates men. What a waste,” commented Dionysus.

  “I have to warn Habrok,” replied Tyler.

  “You do? Please don’t. I want to watch him try his wiles on her!”

  “An incapacitated Habrok wouldn’t be of any use to us, Dio.”

  “I guess so. Can I be the one to talk to him about the Valkyrie?”

  “No. You won’t tell him until you’ve had your fun. A lost limb will the least of Habrok’s problems if he tries his tricks on her.”

  Dionysus laughed out loud.

  “You’re right. But I do have to get my maenads and other followers to watch out for newcomers to the city. These people usually don’t learn lessons easily. I'll tell them to get rid of the obvious ones. That way, we won't be disturbed. I suggest you talk to your man Jorund for more information. He’s got his ears and eyes on the ground. But that also means you can’t go around the city for now. It won’t be safe.”

  “When you say followers, do you mean servants, slaves, or free men?”

  “Servants and free men. We don’t have slaves, as you understand the term, here in Akrotiri. Quite rare for a Greek city. Indentured individuals. Those with unpaid debts who have to work them off. Similar to the practice in Skaney. Of course, we can’t prevent visitors with slaves from coming to the city. But each city has a different practice of dealing with slaves. The Dorians are the worst slave owners.”

  “How about your barkeep here? I get the feeling he’s not a simple barkeep.”

  “Eleos? No, he’s not a simple barkeep. A free man and one of my most devout followers. He can act as a barkeep with the best of them. But we call him Machairi. Quite a contrast. Other people know him by Eleos, meaning mercy, while among us, we call him Machairi, or knife. Though many people do deserve his mercy.”

  Tyler looked at Dionysus. The deity was not so simple a figure after all. He wondered what else has Dionysus hidden under his sleeves.

  “You surprise me, Dio. Didn’t know you also ran a waste disposal service.”

  The deity snorted.

  “There’s a lot of garbage in the world. But it’s more to protect my followers. Sometimes this god business becomes very personal and competitive.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “The stories I could tell… but won’t. Anyhow, since Habrok appears indisposed for tonight, fancy a drink? Not the usual binge. More of a nightcap. We can have that discussion you wanted.”

  “No problem, Dio. Just let me finish my meal. A nightcap would do me good, I think.”

  Tyler continued eating while Dionysus enjoyed the view of his tavern crowded with guests.

  “Elder?”

  “Yes, Hal? Any new development?”

  “Yes, Elder. I have managed to determine the temple location but vaguely. That’s the most I could do with the available retrievable information. The temple is located, as I mentioned, in a northwest direction from this city. Near the start of the trade route to Skaney, in the mountains bordering a pass. I was able to piece together a map, but it is not to scale nor up to date. However, as long as we get five miles from the temple site, I will be able to detect its energy emanations.”

  “Show me the map.”

  The image appeared in his mind’s eye. Blurry and indistinct, it was a source of disappointment.

  “Hal, this is almost useless.”

  “I know, Elder. But it’s the best I could do. The terrain may have changed as the basis of the map was the land before the Divine Wars.”

  “Can you get a clearer map? At least covering the area of this city up to the temple?”

  “Sadly, no. That map was the best I could obtain.”

  “It doesn’t show any cities, towns, and the like. No other markers except for the temple site.”

  “From what I could determine, the hilly area portrayed near the mountains and the pass is where Akrotiri is now located. From that information, we could extrapolate the temple’s location. A series of small hills mark the approach to the temple area
.”

  “I guess it’s time to ask Dionysus some questions and a favor. That damn map the king promised us still has not arrived. Thanks, Hal.”

  He turned to the deity who was tapping his foot in rhythm with the musicians who have started playing.

  “Dio, you want to talk now? You appear to be enjoying yourself.”

  “I just like the music. Not that I haven’t heard them before. Let's go and have that nightcap.”

  The two stood up and walked into the room. As they entered, Tyler saw the place was already lit. Three jugs of wine waited for them.

  “You call that a nightcap?” exclaimed Tyler.

  “For me, it is. Don’t be a wimp. Just drink what you can manage. Wuss.”

  “Now you’re calling me names. Not a fair fight. I can’t hit you back with my fist.”

  “Why not?” queried Dionysus, some perplexity on his face.

  “You’re too nice to me,” laughed Tyler.

  “Really? Either I am losing my touch, or my mortal side got the better of me. Come on, let’s drink. I’m parched. I don’t suppose you know any bawdy songs?”

  “No, sorry.”

  “Pity. Habrok has a lot of those musical gems.”

  “I’m not surprised. Not one bit,” said Tyler as he took his seat.

  “Now, what do you want to talk about? Mind you, I don’t get drunk easily so you can’t advantage of my generous nature,” said Dionysus. “Reminds me of the time I drank with Herakles. That demigod can drink. Nearly plowed me under.”

  “There is one question I would like to ask. That Ismenian drakon told me his race was an ancient one. But bound by Ares somehow.”

  “Older than me, actually. That race is old. Really ancient. If you noticed, I said race. Not creatures. Nobody knows how Ares was able to bind them. Some trickery, I suppose. Wouldn’t put it past him. And with a buffoon holding them by their tails, they’ve fallen far from what they were.”

  ‘What do you mean?”

  “Let me answer that this way. Kekrops, the first king of Athens back in the First World, was a boon to mortals. He taught reading, writing, and a lot of other things which gave rise to this civilization. And according to legend, he was half-serpent.”

  “Oh.”

  “But Zeus was angry with him as he forbade the sacrifice of any living thing to the gods. So, you have Ares and the Ismenian race.”

  “I think I understand.”

  “And you wonder why I drink too much. Sometimes knowing too much is a curse, young mage.”

  “And what does the term transcendental mage mean?”

  “A mage who doesn’t drink enough. No, don’t know the answer to that one.”

  “Why did that general call me a High Mage?”

  “Because I have graced you with my presence. Such stupid questions. Better pick them well, young man.”

  “How do you feel about the gods?”

  “They drive me to drink. Next stupid question.”

  “You drive me crazy. Just trying to make conversation while drinking.”

  “You call that conversation! A Dorian jailer may have better questions than that!”

  “Alright. How far are we from the entrance to the trade route to Skaney?”

  “Foolish boy. Akrotiri is the entrance to the trade route. From here, caravans prepare and journey through the mountain pass and into the Dry Plains. There’s another town there, but it’s too insignificant to remember.”

  "Isn't there supposed to be a trade route by sea? That would be faster and the volume of cargo more economically feasible."

  "Yes, there is. A better and faster route if not for the pirates, the sea monsters, and the whims of Poseidon and his retinue. The land route takes longer, but it's safer."

  "No bandits? Monsters?"

  "Except for the area around the pass, the foothills particularly, no bandits or monsters. Nobody is crazy enough anyway to enter the foothills. The route up to Skaney is relatively safe. The people who live in the region and in that town of no consequence make sure trade is undisturbed."

  “What do you call the pass and the mountains?”

  “People refer to the pass as the Perasei To Thanato . The Death Pass. Though it’s safe to cross if one is in a caravan. No bandits even. The mountain range close by is called the Liveloula Mountains. Do you get the joke? Liveloula. Dragonfly. Dragon fly.”

  Dionysus then let off a loud guffaw. “Though no drakon had been seen there for generations.”

  “How does one enter the mountains?”

  “No one wants to. Unless, of course, you’re a god. But then again, there are things in this world which can kill a god.”

  “So, there’s no way to the mountains?”

  “Oh, I didn’t say that. There is a way. But I don’t want to talk about it.” Dionysus took a deep swig out of one of the wine jugs.

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s called the Empusa Foothills, you dolt, that’s why!” shouted Dionysus.

  “Call me ignorant. But I don’t understand your reaction. What’s wrong with the Empusa Foothills?”

  “Are you serious? You haven’t heard of the Empusa?” The deity took another long drink. Tyler believed the god had already drained the jug by half in those two gulps.

  “No, what’s an Empusa?”

  “A beautiful woman,” Dionysus snickered. “Who seduces lone travelers and then eats their flesh and drinks their blood. Turns to a horrible looking hag too.”

  “Don’t tell me you’ve met one?”

  “The mother of them all,” said the deity as he involuntarily shivered. “Nearly got me when I went to visit Hades. If not for the wine she partook… no, I am not going to that memory.”

  “How many Empusas do you think haunt those foothills?”

  “No idea. Wait. Don’t tell me you plan to go there?” exclaimed the deity.

  “I may have to. An urgent task.”

  “OF ALL THE STUPIDEST, HAREBRAINED, CRAZY, MAD, OUTRAGEOUS, IDIOTIC…”

  “You forgot moronic.”

  “AND MORONIC THINGS TO DO! YOU WANT TO GO THERE? INTO THE EMPUSA FOOTHILLS?”

  “And possibly visit the nice dragonflies too.”

  “Hah! I like your gumption, young mage! You’ll probably end up being eaten, but you’ve got balls. I can’t go with you, of course. Athena won’t be happy. But nobody told me to keep you prisoner here. Come to think of it, she did tell me to let you find your way.”

  “I may need your help in getting there in the fastest manner possible.”

  “Leave that to me. But are you really sure about this? And I mean really, really, sure?”

  “Yes. At least there won’t be Dorians in those hills.”

  “I don’t think so. But if the worse happens, I do hope you taste good. No sense in wasting good food. Even for an Empusa.”

  “To the contrary, Dio. If ever that happens, I earnestly hope I taste bad. Very bad.”

  Dionysus laughed.

  “That’s the spirit! But I do have a request.” Tyler didn’t know how Dionysus did it, but he seemed to have regained some degree of sobriety. Nice trick, he thought. I have to learn that one.

  “I knew it was too easy. You know I have misgivings about deities with requests. Look what happened the last time I let you help me! Mechanical hoplites! Fast ones! And that monstrosity of a hybrid!”

  “No, nothing of that sort. This time it’s of a personal nature. Will you let Eleos accompany you? Only up to the foothills, mind you. I'll be damned if I’ll continue having those Empusas around! Been wanting to get them but I can’t let Eleos go alone. Now that you’re here, a perfect opportunity, if I may say so.”

  “I am not sure that this is not a way of keeping track of where I am going.”

  “You can cross the mountains all the way to Skaney or the Barren Wastes for all I care! Look, Eleos can do some clearing for you. And he can wait in the foothills until you return or for three days at the most. In the meantime, he can cut those lit
tle tips off their tails! Or their heads. No, that would be too heavy. Their ears!”

  “You’re one bloodthirsty god, Dio. And you’re getting too excited. Even your hair may turn red.”

  “I am excited! Finally, a chance to get back at those brain eaters. You’re not the one who got tricked by their mother to be her lunch! Or was it dinner? No matter! Playing hide and seek all the way down to Hades’ realm was my most traumatic experience. I even have nightmares about it. Up to now! And for a long time, those cannibals have been in those hills! I am beginning to think that they suspect I am here in Akrotiri. Good thing Pappo placed those charms on the city walls! “

  “If I refuse?”

  “Then no fast travel for you, my boy! You think I'm going to waste this opportunity?”

  “Eleos won’t follow me after the hills?”

  “Why would he? I have looked after Eleos ever since I found him an orphan. Why do think he serves as the barkeep? He's specially trained to handle those snake women! He can see through their disguises! That way they can’t surprise me here.”

  Man, talk about being paranoid.

  “Then give me your promise he won’t follow me into the mountains and that he'll stay in the foothills as you said. Promise me on your mortal mother's soul.”

  “You are one mean and terribly suspicious mage, Havard. But I agree. I give you my promise. Upon my mother's mortal soul. A perceptive mage. That's one vow I can't break, even if means Tartarus for me. But if there is one kind of creature I have learned to hate, it’s those Empusas!”

  “I accept your promise then.”

  “Good! I have to tell Eleos. He had been waiting for this chance for a long time. Specially equipped for it too. But do take care of him. Try your best to keep him alive. He grew up in my care. He's almost a son to me.”

  “I will try. But I can’t promise that he won’t die. You know that.”

  “Of course. But your word is good enough. Now, early to bed, young mage. I have to tell Eleos as soon as possible. I also have to ready preparations for the hunt.”

  “Good night, Dio. Just before dawn as we agreed.”

  “Don't worry about it, mage! Leave everything to me.”