Holding Up the World

by Shirley Hailstock

  “Secret?” he repeated.

  “I’m not going to be able to explain this standing in the here in the parking lot.”

  “Where shall we go?” he asked in a tone that said he wasn’t leaving her.

  “I’m heading home. Follow me.”

  Moments later they were unpacking the car and bringing the bags into her kitchen. Lisa brought Jade inside. Wide awake, she had her fingers in her mouth chewing on her teething gums. Lisa pushed her teething ring into the child’s hand and she clamped her gums down on it.

  Rhys didn’t rush her. Lisa took time to make coffee, settle Jade and lead Rhys into the large family room. Lisa took two framed from the baby grand piano that sat diagonally in the corner of the room.

  “These are the twins. They are in college. I’ve told you about them.” She handed the photo to him.

  “They’re beautiful. They look like you.”

  The girls were a carbon copy of each other. Both stared at the camera, with wide smiles and sparkling eyes.

  “This is also my daughter. Her name is Julianna.” Lisa held the framed photo. Julianna had long, thick, hair that flowed like a model’s in a shampoo commercial.

  Rhys took the photo but looked confused. “You haven’t mentioned her before?”

  “She ran away over two years ago.” Lisa lifted Jade and cradled her close while she sat comfortably in a large chair. She related the story of her relationship with her daughter, Julianna. He listened quietly, without judgment. She told him of their arguments, of the wildness that overtook Julianna during her senior year in high school, of the many nights of therapy they went through, but nothing worked. She told him how inadequate she felt when she was going through it, how her nights and days dissolved into each other when she left and how she feared a knock on her door in the middle of the night. Then she told him about Jade. When she finished Lisa waited for his reaction. He didn’t speak for a long moment. The tenseness inside her coiled so tight she thought she’d popped up from her chair.

  Rhys moved then, coming to her, taking both her and Jade into his arms. Emotion ripped through her at the tenderness of his embrace. Without words he conveyed how he felt. Lisa laid her head in the crook of his neck. She felt his lips brush her skin. Shivers went through her, along with the stirring of arousal.

  “I know you’ve already raised a family of your own. You’re about to be empty nested. I fully understand if you want to leave.”

  He leaned back and looked at her. “Why would I want to leave?”

  She looked at Jade and back at him, silently communicating. She didn’t want to tell him that she was unsure of his reaction to her being a grandmother.

  “May I hold her?” he asked.

  Lisa transferred the baby, who gurgled and smiled at the attention before plunging her hand back in her mouth.

  “Hello Jade.” Rhys tickled her stomach. Her toothless grin widened. “Do you know how lucky you are?” He glanced at Lisa. She looked up at him and he bent down and dropped a kiss on her mouth.

  “It’s scary how much I’ve come to love her in so short a time.” She kissed Jade’s soft head. “I know it’s not proper to say this, because I want my daughter to come home more than anything, but I want Jade too. I can’t image not having her in my life.”

  “And I can’t imagine not having you in mine.”

  ***

  Lisa couldn’t be any older than thirteen. She felt as if her feet never touched the ground anymore. She didn’t have a job. She had a baby and she had a man who liked her, a man she liked too. Could the world be more perfect?

  Pushing open the door of the Books ‘n More, the town’s only bookstore, she wheeled Jade inside.

  “Elizabeth,” Grace Moore called as she saw her. The only person in town who called her Elizabeth, Grace was a transplant from Bristol, England. She’d come to the United States after meeting and marrying her doctor husband while he was on a tour of the mother country. Grace was as easy going as the next person, but she adhered to proper names, never using nicknames or referring to women as Ms.

  Grace’s smile, broad and happy, went straight to Jade. She released her safety restraints and picked the child up, dancing through the small space with her. “You forget how light they are.” She looked at Lisa. “Go ahead and look around. I’ll visit with the little darling for a while.”

  Lisa bypassed the fiction section she usually frequented and headed for the Self-Help section. She browsed through several books on interviewing, resume writing and getting the job. Selecting three of them, she headed for the counter.

  Grace was sitting in a small area where people usually relaxed and had a cup of coffee or tea. “Elizabeth,” Grace said as she approached the counter. “Since you’re not working right now, do you mind if I ask some questions?”

  “Grace, you know I always have time for you.”

  “Business hadn’t been that great lately. I was wondering if you could give me pointers. I’m the only bookstore in town, yet people drive all the way to one of those chains to buy books. I can’t afford to discount the way the big stores do.”

  Lisa looked around the store. The shelves were full of books. A corner Grace devoted to bestsellers was stocked.

  “As long as the store has been here, Grace, it still looks the same. Other than putting up decorations for the major holidays, everything is always the same. People like new things. It’s like web pages. People go back to the ones that change all the time. The ones where they can find something new.”

  “I can’t rearrange the store.”

  “You know what?” Lisa said, an idea coming to her.

  “What?”

  “Why don’t I draw up a marketing plan for you? You can do what you think is good and discard the rest. I won’t be offended.”

  “What will it cost?”

  “Grace!”

  “No, no,” Grace shook her head. “If you work, you get paid.”

  “It’s been a long time since I actually did the work. Mainly I supervised others, approved their ideas, enhance what someone else thought of. It’ll be fun to start a project from scratch.” Lisa’s blood started to race through her veins. She peered at the store with new eyes, taking in the layout, the lighting, the feel of the place. Ideas came to her for changing the arrangement, giving the place a new fresher, more contemporary look, a place where people wanted to come and browse.

  “So what will this cost?” Grace asked again, interrupting Lisa’s thoughts.

  “The price of three books,” Lisa said without hesitation, eyeing the three she’d left on the counter.

  “Sold,” Grace said, offering her hand. The two women shook on the deal.

  Snow wasn’t due in Chicago for at least another couple of months, but the effect for Lisa started a week after she delivered her plan to Grace. Lisa had come up with several ideas in the past week, but settled on one. It required a new layout for the store, but nothing that involved major movement. The new layout would guide people to major areas of the store where Grace could have special displays. A new computer system, accessible by patrons who want to check and see if a certain title was in the store and where it was shelved, would be installed in two strategic places. A new web presence would also be set up. Lisa kept the coffee nook, but added displays of local authors and local interests books.

  As a plan to make the public aware of the store, she suggested several ads in local magazines and newspapers, flyers on the bulletin boards available at local grocery stores, banks, and inclusion in the coupon books that were periodically delivered to every household in the area. Lisa designed a sample flyer to make them eye-catching and quickly readable. She also designed a “new to the neighborhood” packet to welcome newcomers to the area. Various real estate agencies provided welcome wagon-type services for new arrivals. Books ‘n More could contribute, making new arrivals aware of books on the home, area maps, and local interest subjects, plus she could contribute a book on the history of Woodbine Heights.

/>   Lisa suggested Grace close down for a couple of days to put the new store in order and organize a grand re-opening with a major sign, balloon, and an open house or maybe an in-store reception.

  Grace loved the ideas and wanted to begin implementing immediately. Lisa gave her the names of several contractors she could use and a web designer for the new website. But Grace wanted Lisa to oversee the plans. And offered her the job at a much greater pay than the price of three books.

  “I’ll take it,” Lisa said and sealed the deal with another handshake.

  “How long do you think it will take?” Grace asked. “I’m so excited. I want everything done immediately.”

  “There will be some on-going costs, Lisa cautioned her. “The web page will have to updated periodically, you’ll need your own domain name and you’ll either have to keep the new computer inventory system up to date or hire someone to do it for you.”

  “I understand that.”

  “The costs in the proposal are ballparked numbers. I’ll get you better estimates and you can decide what you can afford. Let’s meet in couple of days to go over the business plan,” Lisa suggested. “By then I can have some concrete information.”

  Lisa left the store with the same feeling she had when she held her college degree in her hand and left the ceremony. She was ready to embark on the world with all the enthusiasm of youth. She could barely wait to get started, to see her ideas grow off the flat paper and become three-dimensional.

  Lisa could barely wait to tell Rhys what had happened.

  ***

  The grand re-opening was scheduled for a month later. Grace closed down the last week in October to allow for the renovations, somehow which took on a life of their own. The ads had been placed announcing the new store and invitations were went out. Preparations for the reception morphed from a day time drop-by and see the changes to an evening event complete with speeches by the township mayor and his support for local businesses.

  Lisa went with Rhys. It was their first date where people they knew would see them together. Rhys looked great when he came to pick her up. His dark suit emphasized the trickle of silver in his hair, giving him the image of a distinguished gentleman. Lisa wore a long maroon silk dress with matching shoes that added height to her stature and making her only a few inches shorter than Rhys. Pear teardrop earrings and a single drop pearl necklace were her only other adornments.

  “You oughta be in pictures,” Rhys said when he saw her.

  Lisa laughed. Rhys made her laugh a lot and she liked that about him.

  “Who would ever think you were a judge?” she teased.

  “Oh, when I put on my robes, I grab an entirely new personality.”

  “I’ll have to come and see that one day,” she threatened good-naturedly.

  “Is Jade asleep?”

  Lisa nodded. He never failed to ask about her. Or to pick her up if she was still awake when he came. Lisa had wondered if he did it naturally or was only trying to impress her, but she quickly squashed that thought. He genuinely loved kids and liked Jade. He’d told her when he was in family court he’d got to hear the horrible side of the lives of some children. He wished he could save them from some of the things their parents did to them, but that wasn’t always possible.

  Julianna had come to Lisa’s mind when he said it. Then he’d repeated how lucky Jade was to have Lisa taking care of her. For the first time, she understood what the platitude meant. She’d taken Jade as her duty. She loved her, but it was still something that families did in times of crisis. Yet it wasn’t only duty. She loved the baby and would do anything to keep her safe and happy. That wasn’t always the case.

  “Ready?” Rhys interrupted her thoughts.

  She nodded, turning to the high school student would watch Jade while Lisa attended the reception. She went over the addresses and emergency phone numbers where she might she could be reach, then the two of them left for the bookstore.

  The place was crowded with people when the two of them edged like slices into the room. Rhys wrangled her a drink and they circled the room speaking to people they knew. Rhys tried to keep her close to him, introducing her to his friends and colleagues, but Grace took her away, singing her praises to everyone who commented on the changes in the store and how much Grace loved with Lisa had done.

  The night went by in a whirl. Lisa was as proud of the changes as Grace was. When everything died down and people sauntered off, Lisa slipped into a chair and put her feet up.

  “Tired?” Rhys asked.

  “Exhausted,” she said.

  Taking her arm, he pulled her up. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

  “Lisa, I can’t thank you enough,” Grace said and they walked to the door. Rhys had her coat. He gently placed it on her shoulders and helped her slip her arms into it.

  “Grace, it was a genuine pleasure.” Grace hugged her and whispered in her ear. “You and Rhys? Who knew?” When Grace pulled back she was smiling.

  “I see you soon.”

  Lisa climbed into Rhys’s car and rested her head against the upholstery. It was only a short drive to her house, but she fell asleep in the interval. She was on trial and she knew it. Not only were people judging her work for Grace, they were judging her and her right to be with Rhys. She didn’t know it for sure, couldn’t swear to it in a court of law or public accusation, but she felt it.

  Their names were linked together now and like Siamese twins the story of them being together would reverberate through the foundation of their small society. What the effect would be, Lisa couldn’t tell. But it would come surely and quickly.

  “You’re home,” Rhys’s gentle voice aroused her from the twilight of sleepiness that exhaustion had brought. Standing outside the car, he was as cleanly pressed as he had been when he came to pick her up. Lisa took the offered hand and levered herself out of the car. Rhys stood between her and the open door. She looked up at him and his mouth came down on hers. The street she lived on was secluded. At this time of night few people were on the street and none of them walking or jogging. Yet in plain view, Rhys kissed her, held her tightly, leaving anyone who hadn’t known they were a couple at the reception in no doubt of their association now.

  Lisa’s arms circled his neck. She turned more closely to his body, fitting herself into his mold, securing her body into the space that held his in the most intimate way. His arms cradled her, held her to him as she was Jade and needed cradling. Emotion ramped through her. Like quicksilver, she grew warm with his touch, hot with the blood of emotion, fiery with arousal.

  Rhys took her hands and led her into the house. In moments Lisa had released the sitter and driven her home. When Rhys returned, Lisa heard the click of the door latch. Alone the two of stared across the room at each other.

  “What did you think of the evening?” she asked.

  “I thought it was almost perfect.”

  “Almost?” Her eye brows went up. “What didn’t you like?”

  Rhys approached her. His steps were even, unhurried, but determined. Lisa felt the change in her body, the fear of disappointing him, the exhilaration at the newness of their love. At thirteen everything was a brave new world. It was either the top of the mountain or the wonder and newness of life. Lisa was glad that age did not change that.

  Rhys took her in his arms slowly. His mouth dipped toward hers without hurry. Time passed in huge gathered chunks as if it were particles that needed to cram together before it could move from one second to the next. Anticipation sent delicious shivers through her bloodstream. Lisa turned into his arms. As his mouth touched hers, her arms went around his neck and together they deepened the kiss. Previously they’d shared quick kisses, affectionate and loving, but nothing like tonight. Tonight there was and ocean’s depth of difference. First her entire body was involved in the joining of their mouths. She could feel herself aroused from her toes through every part of her body.

  Rhys’s arms held her firmly but gently. It had been a ve
ry long time since a man held her. Lisa took in the smell of him, the masculine nature of his cologne, of the pure maleness that she drank in as if it were water.

  His mouth tantalized hers, sending out sensations as primal as the beginning of the universe. Their heads bobbed, trading positions back and forth, each vying for domination. Rhys’s hands roamed up and down her back, over the silk fabric, causing small explosions along her torso.

  Lisa was out of breath when Rhys’s mouth slide from hers. She stepped back, taking his hands in hers and leading him toward the stairs. They were about to take there relationship to the next level. Lisa had no reservations about it. This was natural. It felt right. It was what naturally happened between two people who liked and respected each other.

  She didn’t tell herself was in love with Rhys. Or that he was in love with her. But there was the possibility. She liked him immensely. And she never thought she would. If it had been up to her she would have passed him that day at the outdoor concert and never thought of him again. But he was the persistent one.

  In her bedroom, he took her in his arms and danced her around the open space. No one had ever done that and Lisa loved the feel of his arms around her. She smiled into his neck as she rested her chin there, the silent music playing in her head.

  Rhys kissed her mouth. His tongue slipped easily passed her lips and she welcomed the intrusion, along with the dizzying sensations that piggybacked it. She wound herself to him, stopping the dancing, molding her body to his as if they were attracting poles of a magnet.

  Her body grew hot, to hot. She was burning up, her clothes clinging to her like a second skin. Then Rhys lowered the zipper on her dress. The cool air on her skin was delicious, but it was quickly replaced by Rhys’s fingers sliding over her back. He made a science of brailling her back, learning the contours of her skin, the way it snugly fit over her frame, while his mouth continued to play tag with hers. Lisa had never been so thoroughly kissed.

  He stepped back and let her dress slip to the floor. Under it she wore only a bra, panty, and hose. He unhooked the bra and kissed the curve of her breasts. Lisa gulped in air. Her fingers dug into Rhys’s arms. Suddenly they were frantic with each other. She clawed at his clothes, removing his tie and shirt and slipping out of the rest of her clothes. Rhys lowered her to the bed and kissed her neck, arms, breasts, ears and mouth. She couldn’t get enough of him. Her body convulsed inside and she felt the familiar fire of longing that she hadn’t satisfied in a very long time.