Heart Echoes

by Sally John

  The distraught faces of Teal and Maiya flashed through his mind.

  He was not in a good space for decision making. He leaned back down into the car. “Jake, you chose the wrong girl to mess with.”

  The boy squirmed, his hands still uncomfortably handcuffed behind his back. “I’m sorry.” There was a new note of fear in his voice. “I’m sorry, Mr. Adams. It won’t happen again, sir.”

  River’s heart pounded in his ears. His throat felt tight.

  A tear slid from the corner of Jake’s eye.

  “I can’t promise. But I will carefully consider speaking on your behalf.” With that he walked quickly away before he caved in.

  Nuts. He’d never seen the kid cry before.

  Chapter 20

  Keeping her head as still as possible on the bed pillow, Teal removed the ice pack from her forehead and dropped it to the floor.

  River climbed into bed beside her. “Feeling better?”

  “Yeah.” She turned slowly onto her side and faced him. “Thanks.”

  He smiled and his eyes crinkled. In the dim light the cobalt blue appeared almost black.

  The migraine had sent her to bed before dinner. It was now after ten o’clock. “What did I miss?”

  “More tears and apologies. Poor kid. What could she do? The love of her life suddenly appears with a bouquet of roses in an empty school hallway where she happens to be on her way from study hall to the library. We forgot to include this scenario in our ‘just say no’ lectures.”

  “How naive of us.”

  He chuckled. “Just say no to booze, drugs, sex, and guys bearing gifts in the hall during class.”

  “It lacks a certain ring.”

  “I’ll work on it.”

  “Do you buy their story?”

  “Sure,” he said. “Her history class was given library passes the first day of school to work on a project during study halls. It would’ve been easy for Jake to learn her schedule. It would’ve been easy for the anonymous friend to find out if she would go to the library today.”

  “Or encourage her to do so because Jake was coming.”

  They stared at each other.

  Teal said, “Did you ask her that?”

  “Didn’t think of it. Did you?”

  “I only thought of it now. But she insists she did not know his plans or who opened the door for him. Same thing as innocent bystander?”

  “Could be, up to that point.”

  She sighed. “It kind of breaks down when we get to the part about the cops finding them in the band room closet. The officials don’t buy that she wasn’t hiding him.”

  “Maiya probably did panic like she said and had no idea the lockdown was about him. No way to prove it, though.”

  “So we can’t fight the suspension.”

  “No, we can’t, Ms. Lawyer. Our focus should be on supporting Maiya while she deals with the consequences of her actions.”

  “You always take the oomph out of my battering ram, Mr. School Counselor.”

  His smile came and went. “Her boss called her tonight. He said with school back in session he needs to cut staff. Not enough ice cream customers to keep everyone on, and since Maiya was the latest hire . . .” He shrugged.

  “That’s not fair. What a lame excuse! That chicken—”

  River put a finger on her lips. “The bottom line is she’s learning a huge life lesson early in the game. She’ll be better for this mess in the long run.”

  Teal moved his hand and held it. “But what about the short run? I’ll take her with me to the office tomorrow, but I can’t keep that up. And she can’t go with you every day.”

  “She’d be fine in my office or helping out in the main office.”

  “But we’re talking six weeks off of school. Six weeks of her junior year. Six weeks’ worth of zeros in every class. She needs a tutor to keep up.”

  “We’ll find one.”

  “River, it’s more than that. It’s—it’s—”

  “Sh.” He wiped at the outer edge of her eye. “Relax. Take a breath.”

  She took two. “She needs loads of attention right now. I should be mommying her. I missed out on so much when she was little.”

  “She’s fifteen and she’s grounded. Life is difficult.”

  “I love you,” she said.

  “And I love you. What’s up?”

  “Can you say that other part? I need to hear it. ‘I love you, da, da, da’?”

  He waited a couple beats before saying anything. “I love you no matter what. And for the record, I am in for the long haul.”

  She smiled. The first time he said he was in for the long haul was the day he proposed for the umpteenth time. That was the time she finally replied yes. His words had struck a long-dormant chord within her, and she knew that she had been created to hear such music.

  “River, I want to take her to Cedar Pointe for a few weeks.”

  He blinked. “Camp Poppycock?”

  “I think I’ll stop using that derogatory moniker.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s not user friendly. She’s not going to like the idea anyway—”

  “No, I meant why do you want to take her there?” He interrupted her, his voice tense. “Why Cedar Pointe, your nemesis?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Care to uncomplicate it?” His mouth was settling into a grim line.

  “Because it’s so far off the grid. It’s disciplining her with the advantage of getting her away from all the chaos in the city. I don’t want her to be continually faced with no social life and no school and now no work.”

  “All of which is the whole rationale behind disciplinary action.”

  “But she never should have been suspended. Us grounding her from after-school activities is one thing, but this is totally unfair punishment. It’ll haunt her for years and have such a major, negative impact on her grades and college applications.”

  “You’re overreacting. You two would leave home and you’d leave work for weeks because she might get an A-minus and have to go to her second college choice? What’s really going on?”

  Tears pooled in her eyes. She felt all twisted and squeezed inside. “I’m losing it, River. I haven’t slept through a night in weeks. I drive crazy routes to avoid others, and still every day I go past rubble. I’m always hypervigilant. Sirens scare me to death. I can’t focus at work. I can’t stop reading all those obituaries.”

  “Oh, Teal. Why didn’t you tell me how bad it is?”

  “Because you’d say I should talk to someone.”

  “You should. Start with Pastor Lillian.”

  “I just want to go away.”

  “To Cedar Pointe.” Disbelief filled his tone. “The place you’ve avoided most of your life, especially the past nine years.”

  “I have a plan B.”

  “Of course you do.”

  “We could all go visit my new best friends in Iowa. See the Mississippi.”

  “Mm-hmm. Spit in it. Reel in a catfish or two.”

  “Or plan C: you could come up and fish in Oregon. They have salmon.”

  He did not reply to her obvious hint.

  She knew better. Even if his superiors allowed him time off, there was no way on earth he would leave his boys at the critical start of a new year.

  She said, “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.”

  “It is what it is. If you feel that this is what you need to do, go. Your mind is made up.” Exasperation clipped his words. “Why not rent a place closer? I could easily visit you out in Palm Springs or down in San Diego.”

  “I don’t want a vacation.”

  “What exactly do you want, Teal?”

  She had no words that could encompass the desires she had. They were deep longings that had struck like lightning bolts inside her, burning and splitting. If she didn’t do something soon, the thunder would explode and there would be no way out.

  “I want to go home.”

  He
gazed at her as if struck himself.

  “Everyone should be able to go home when they’re in trouble. Right?”

  River moved over and gently slid his arms around her.

  Chapter 21

  River listened to Teal’s rhythmic breathing. She was fast asleep beside him, weary from events of the past few weeks, undone by forces she could not control.

  He hadn’t been much help. He should have told her to sleep on this crazy decision to go to Oregon. He should not have debated her.

  Not that they were strangers to disagreement. Secure in their relationship, neither was threatened by differing opinions.

  So why the racing heartbeat, the sense of doom?

  Because Teal had chosen Maiya’s well-being over that of their family? No. That was a given, played out in countless ways all the time in their years together. He had joined the game late. Maiya had been ten, well-adjusted for her age, but when kid crises struck, date time with Teal was scratched off the calendar. Not postponed, deleted.

  His stepdaughter was still a child, still in need of an up-close-and-personal mother. That biological father void still needed something tangible from the guy himself, not the surrogate.

  River shifted carefully, removing his arm from beneath Teal’s shoulders, and winced. The pain in his side had subsided but was still there.

  Was that it? Was he threatened by the thought of Maiya’s finding a piece of herself in Oregon, of even meeting her dad? Oregon was a big state and yet, why not? He conceivably could be there, perhaps in Cedar Pointe itself. But no. Getting something from him was Maiya’s right. It would not diminish her relationship with Riv. She was that kind of kid.

  Was River threatened by a fear of Teal and Maiya driving into inclement weather like Krissy had ten years before, pregnant with Sammy? Of another driver losing control on the highway and veering into them?

  He took a breath, the stab in his ribs keeping it shallow. He took another.

  No. That fear had struck with the earthquake, but he had stopped giving in to it some years ago. It was the first time Teal had been late meeting him. She arrived to find him curled in a fetal position on the floor, his heart racing, his body shaking in a cold sweat. At Teal’s urging, he had seen a counselor.

  Exactly what he had urged her to do and she ignored.

  He had learned how not to let the fear debilitate him. In time it all but disappeared, until the quake. Was that it? The quake triggered the old fear . . . No. He sensed a deep ache and understood this was something new.

  How was he supposed to live for weeks without Teal and Maiya? As much as he daily lost himself in his work, his girls were his life.

  If his side didn’t hurt so much, he’d take a deep breath and just get on with life like any other macho guy would.

  River watched his neighbor Charlie turn skewers of chicken and beef on the grill. It was Sunday evening, four days before Teal and Maiya’s departure. The Yoshidas had invited them over for dinner.

  Charlie shut the lid and joined him at the picnic table, his brow still furrowed. “Teal and Maiya will be gone for five weeks? Five?”

  River nodded. Somehow the few weeks had gotten extended to include most of Maiya’s suspension time.

  “You probably can’t get away from school?”

  “Not really.” His fall semester was jam-packed already. As the academy’s liaison to the community, he regularly took his seniors out to public schools to talk about drug and alcohol abuse. He taught a class on independent living skills. Two campouts were on the docket. Preparations for the big annual fund-raiser filled every other waking moment. “Hopefully I can fly up there for one long weekend.”

  The old man took a sip of iced tea and the wrinkles below his few wisps of gray hair smoothed out. “Your wife is a strong woman. Cindy and I saw that the first day we met her ten years ago. She’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah.” River didn’t worry about faking an upbeat tone. Charlie was his sounding board, a great listener who reminded him of his own father. “I’m not so sure about myself.”

  “We men are a needy lot.” He chuckled. “So, she is going home. What about her work and Maiya’s schoolwork?”

  “You know Teal. She has it all figured out. Her sister, who apparently scored a 2200 on the SAT, has agreed to tutor Maiya. Teal convinced her bosses to allow her to work on what she can long-distance. They divvied up her court dates and other cases. They promised not to fire her.”

  “What about our lovely juvenile delinquent? Is this commuting her sentence?”

  “Her mother thinks not. I, on the other hand, am trying to come to terms with it.” He shook his head, still disagreeing with taking Maiya out of the immediate sense of her discipline. “My only solace is that Cedar Pointe sounds like the equivalent of a cloistered nunnery. It won’t exactly be a resort experience.”

  Charlie shrugged. “What else is there?”

  River saw through the wise man’s nonchalant demeanor. “You mean besides Teal and me being at odds?”

  “That should cover it.” He put his arms on the table and leaned forward. “A piece of advice?”

  “No other reason for me to be unloading on you, Charlie.”

  “She’s rattled. The earthquake shook something loose. Maiya’s behavior compounded it. You know Teal has been running her entire life. Especially since Maiya’s birth.”

  River stared at him. “But we got married. We have a solid relationship.”

  “This isn’t about that. This is about her coming to the end of the road. She’s tired of running. It’s time she found herself.”

  “She’s thirty-seven years old.”

  “She never had the opportunity before now. She’s been too busy surviving.”

  “But she has me.”

  “You’re not enough. Sorry.”

  That slender thread of machismo River had been grasping snapped in two. He wasn’t enough for Maiya. He wasn’t enough for Teal.

  Charlie straightened back up and reached for his tea. “You are enough for her to come back to. She’ll return. But you might want to consider engaging in a powerful lot of prayer between now and then.”

  So he was needy and not equipped enough to take care of his family and was in for a rough time of it.

  Maybe he should have stayed home.

  Chapter 22

  HIGHWAY 101, NORTH OF LOS ANGELES

  Teal stole a glance at Maiya in the passenger seat as they sped along the highway. In the four hours since they waved good-bye to River, her daughter had not moved a muscle. She sat slumped down, arms crossed, mouth set, eyes hidden behind sunglasses.

  “Hey,” Teal said, “Miss Happy Camper.”

  “Give it up, Mom. This is me until the day we go home. You might as well get used to it.”

  Teal bit back a snide In your dreams, pipsqueak.

  They had been at each other for a week, ever since Teal had announced her plans. Neither one of them was happy about the trip, but that was not a factor. They were going to Cedar Pointe.

  Maiya said, “Why couldn’t you just use your leave of absence and stay at home?”

  “Asked and answered.”

  Maiya puffed out a noise of disgust. “‘Being away is best’ is not an answer. So what if you got called into the office now and then? So what if you couldn’t find a tutor? So what if my friends are having good times in the same town without me? Big deal. They still are.”

  She sighed. “Okay, fine. Reduce it to ‘I’m the mom and you’re not.’ End of discussion.”

  “That is so unfair. You’ve ruined my life.” She shifted in her seat to face the window and went quiet, the air thick with her sullen attitude.

  Teal sighed again. Thank goodness she had not mentioned her other reason to leave town: that it would allow her to totally focus on Maiya and mommy her. Maiya would dismantle that warm fuzzy in a nanosecond.

  Not that Teal felt it anymore. It had passed last Thursday morning, the instant she told Maiya her decision. Her daughter sho
uted, “No way,” but of course no way did she have a choice in the matter. Between Maiya’s tears and River’s sad eyes, Teal wondered if the idea was indeed truly stupid.

  But she asked her bosses for and was granted an extended absence. Heidi Stone and Zoe Canfield were in their fifties and her longtime mentors in personal matters as well as in business. They had hired her when she was a struggling single mom with a boatload of school loans. From the start they loved her and little Maiya to pieces. If not for their support for River, Teal might have dillydallied even longer before marrying him.

  Yet they were also successful business owners who had to pay bills. They questioned her overreaction. True, suing the school district would not be a wise thing to do, but being out of the office for almost five weeks? She pushed back, insisting it was like a maternity leave. Of course her paycheck would be smaller, her loss more than theirs. They reluctantly let her have her own way. She figured if they fired her, her choice of Maiya over career was worth it.

  It saddened her to think this might be a first. No wonder her daughter had gone off the deep end with a boy.

  Preparing to go had consumed the days. River pitched in at home, cooking, doing laundry, and getting the car checked over, the oil changed. He helped them pack and encouraged Maiya as much as possible, never hinting in front of her at his dissenting opinion. With Teal he did not hold back. His parting words were “You can always turn around and come back.”

  Already Teal missed him too much. Maybe it was best to stay a little bit mad at him. The thing was, if he hadn’t brought Jake Ford into their home, they would not be in this mess. Nothing else would have caused Maiya to push the boundaries as she battled her way through adolescence.

  Yeah, right.

  A few minutes later Teal exited the highway and pulled into a gas station on the edge of a town. Maiya headed inside to use the restroom. Teal lowered the window and pulled out her cell to call River, hoping to catch him on his lunch break.

  “Xena!” he answered on the second ring.