Live By The Team (Team Fear Book 1)

by Skaggs, Cindy

  Finally, his lips brushed gently over hers. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

  He stood and dried his hands on a towel. Words failed her, not that her voice worked. She couldn’t think beyond what he’d done to her. The bulge in his jeans was proof of how he wanted her, but he moved away instead.

  The Ryder smirk made her want to do something impulsive and stupid. His eyes followed her gaze. “We’ll take care of this later.” He adjusted himself and turned his back on her for several silent moments before leaving the room.

  Oh dear Lord. Lauren drooped back into the tepid water. So much for distance. Ryder was a walking sex machine. He’d brought her to orgasm before she’d had time to think about the consequences. Now she craved him more than she had last night when she’d nearly given herself to him in a ditch.

  The memory of it sent another wave of heat across her skin. Lauren cooled the heat with one thought. Ryder would leave again. Her heart slammed against her ribs with a thud that sounded final. She dressed quickly in sweats and an oversized nightshirt. Nothing sexy about a faded X-Files t-shirt. Nothing that would give Rose an indication of what had just gone down in the bathroom. The muscles in her arms trembled as she brushed her hair and waited for the flush to fade from her skin.

  Distance was her safe word for the night. She needed to maintain her distance.

  Lauren woke wedged against Ryder, her back to his front, his arm wrapped around her belly and one strong thigh between hers. If she was looking for space, she had about a hair’s width between her ass and Ryder’s groin. The last time he woke her for the concussion check, he’d been fully dressed and working with Rose. But they were definitely skin-to-skin now—no boxers for her man—and when had she stripped off her sweatpants?

  The dark of the motel room was absolute, so that Ryder was the only thing grounding her. A hot breath brushed her ear, sending blood to her groin. Without question she had to move before she opened her thighs and begged for another screaming orgasm. Lauren shifted, trying to ease away, but the movement triggered a response from Ryder. He pulled her closer to his tight body. And damn but that hair’s breadth of distance had been her saving grace, because now she felt every inch of his hard— “You’re awake?”

  He nibbled her ear. “Can’t sleep.” A warm hand flattened over her belly, centered right above her core, his pinky so close it heated every inch of flesh south of his teasing touch. Her thighs softened.

  Lauren twisted, trying to put some air between their bodies, but the movement aggravated the head wound, sending stabbing pain to her temples. Lauren froze and the pain slowly ebbed, but memories of the last twenty-four hours came flooding back.

  Ryder tightened his hold. “Stay on your side. You’ll do less damage that way.”

  She was already damaged, and it wasn’t the injuries. They’d heal, but the time in the trunk and that sick suburban bedroom haunted her. A shiver washed over her body.

  “Don’t think about last night.”

  How did he know? “Easy for you to say.”

  “Not easy.” Ryder pushed her hair aside and nibbled her neck. “Last night was the worst of my life.”

  “Right.” He’d handled it, without hesitation and sporting a knife wound that would have sent most men to the ER. No one she knew could have followed her and eliminated the threat. “You’ve been in war. I’m sure you’ve seen more—”

  “War’s different. The name of each man I’ve lost is tattooed on my soul. But we continue the mission. We go home. We live to honor the dead.”

  The words saddened her, gave her hope. Ryder never talked about his work; rarely mentioned the team and never—ever—talked about why he left the Army. When he slipped and mentioned someone from the team, he’d get this hard look in his eyes, and he’d fall silent. It was like he lived two separate lives, and it hurt that he wouldn’t share all of himself with her, but maybe he couldn’t. Maybe the memories were simply too hard. Too much.

  “If anything happened to you, Lauren, it would shred my soul.” His gravelly voice lowered to a rough whisper. The words sounded like a vow. “You keep me human. So yes, last night was the worst of my life.” He tightened his arm around her midsection. ”I’m going to be a complete prick until we fix this situation. Your safety is my number one priority.”

  She’d never been anyone’s number one priority. As much as she wanted the words, she didn’t trust them. “That sounds ominous. What does this priority treatment entail?”

  “I’m your constant companion.”

  As conditions went, that one didn’t sound too awful.

  “You don’t leave this room without me.”

  Cooped up in the room with him sounded tempting, but no way could she keep her distance if they were in each other’s space twenty-four hours a day. She was strong, but not stone cold. “That’s not feasible.”

  “Get on board now, Professor.” The hand he held at her waist knotted into a fist. “I won’t go through another night like last night, not knowing what they were doing to you. Knowing I failed to protect you.”

  Her heart did a slow roll. “What happened is hardly your fault.”

  “We can argue this all night, but nothing you say will change my mind. And I can think of a dozen different things I’d rather do.” He released his fist, and his entire body relaxed behind her. “All of them end with you screaming my name.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The spit dried in Lauren’s mouth. Reality condensed to Ryder’s words, the brush of his breath behind her ear, and the length of his hard body against her back. The thin fabric of her nightshirt was no protection from his heat. Memories flushed her skin. Her pulse jumped. Keeping her distance seemed futile, and had been since he’d owned her body in the tub, leaving her wanting more.

  Him. She needed him more than she needed sleep, more than she needed to finish her dissertation, more than she needed to protect her heart.

  The hair on his legs tickled the back of her thighs as he shifted. She swallowed.

  “Say yes.” He sucked her earlobe into his mouth and nipped. He knew her erogenous zones and used them like a pro. The bite spiked nerves straight to her nipples and sent a cool burn over her skin. His talented hands slipped under her shirt and teased from her hips to her chest. Back and forth, stopping under the breastbone on one end and her pubic bone on the other. The other hand wrapped around to hold her in place. Delicious torture.

  “Ryder.”

  “Hmm?” The question a hum behind her ear. He kissed his way to her shoulder.

  Fight the inevitable? She wasn’t that strong. “Yes.” He chuckled low as if her response was preordained. Maybe it was. Denying him gave her no pleasure, while his mouth and his caress promised to send her into orbit. She needed his weight on her. “Let me turn.” Her voice sounded breathy.

  “No.” He cupped one breast and ran a thumb over her nipple. “It’ll hurt your head.”

  The throb of her injuries faded and all she felt was his body wrapped around her, hotter and tighter than any blanket. “I need—”

  “Let me.” He ran a hand down her thigh to her knee, sending delicious chills everywhere his calloused hands brushed. He lifted her leg and wrapped it over his muscular thigh, opening her.

  Her breath hitched.

  He adjusted, wrapping his other hand under her and around her breast. The other teased up and down her thigh, getting closer to her core with each pass. Surrounded by him, she opened herself completely. Accepting his touch, his control.

  He responded with a growl against her neck. The vibration traveled straight to her core. “Ryder, please. Touch me.”

  “I am.” He continued the soft caress, each time inching closer to where she needed him most.

  She arched, or tried to, but he held her immobile. Her hands, however, were free. She reached back to grab his very nice ass. He flexed in response, and his erection hardened against her backside. She pressed her groin back to meet the thrust. So close. “I need you inside me.”r />
  “Not yet.” He ran a finger through her folds. “You’re so wet. For me.”

  “No one else,” she admitted. No one else had ever taken over her body the way Ryder had. The way he did as he circled her clit, before dipping lower, teasing her entrance. She pressed forward, into his fingers, and he slammed her back into his groin. They groaned as he tormented them both.

  She dropped back and twisted to see him. Fierce and focused, his expression had her clenching; striving for what only he could give her. Then his dark eyes shifted to meet her gaze.

  His eyes glowed like velvet moss on river rocks. Soft, green, and fathomless. They wore away the last of her barriers. “Lauren.” The anguish in his voice ripped her apart. She’d never be able to keep her distance. Not when he was so raw. Not when he kept her strung so tight.

  Lauren stopped fighting the love and lust; she gave in to his unspoken demands. When his lips took hers, she opened fully. When his hands skimmed, electricity rode her skin. He didn’t simply take control; he took possession. He owned her mouth, her tongue, and the spike of desire flowing off him and into her. They shared one breath, one insatiable hunger, one deep, dark desire. His tongue thrust inside as his erection thrust between her legs, brushing her entrance. She moaned into his mouth. With his free hand, he lifted her thigh. Seconds later, he thrust into her, hard.

  Lauren arched back as he thrust forward, meeting him thrust for grinding thrust. He filled her. Completely. Each stroke rubbed the nerves around her entrance. Each time he bottomed out, his balls flexed against sensitive flesh, sending more sensations winging through her body. He pressed deeper, hitting a spot that heightened the spiraling need to frenzy. The orgasm threatened, her nerves ready to explode, but she resisted.

  It had been too long, and God knew when they’d get here again, so right now, she fought to stay on the precipice. The ratcheting tension tightened her abs, her core, every muscle fought to extend the moment.

  “Come for me.” His fingers circled her clit in time to his thrusts and she lost the fight. The orgasm shattered the marginal control she had on her body. Wave after wave squeezed her around him while he continued to pound, stretching her, elongating the pleasure. Squeezing him tight in her core, she knew why the orgasm in the tub failed to satisfy. She needed him inside her. The breath caught in her throat as she held back the scream dying to get out.

  “God, baby, you feel so tight.” He groaned against her neck and curled around her, surrounding her. He moved faster, extending her orgasm until he jerked inside her. Lauren moaned his name, unable to stay silent when her body quivered with sensations too great to contain. He continued his thrusts through his orgasm, keeping her body wound up to the last. The closeness exceeded her expectations. With Ryder inside, she felt whole.

  Lauren swallowed as pure emotion followed the physical release. The intensity wasn’t simply that he knew her body, that he knew how to bring her the most pleasure. It was Ryder. His soul owned hers. She was lost without him. And right now, he seemed equally lost. Equally touched by the way their bodies fit together.

  Tears filled her eyes. Loving Ryder had never been a choice. No armor, no barrier was strong enough to keep him out. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. They stayed connected while their ragged breath filled the darkness. When he pulled out, he lifted her thigh from his and she’d never felt so empty. Not her body, but her soul. Life without Ryder was the definition of hell. How could she convince him to stay, because the hollowness of her existence without him was unacceptable?

  Ryder stared at the ceiling and waited for the clock to strike three. The blankets covered him to his waist while the night cooled his skin. Deep dark settled, centering him as little else did. He hadn’t meant to make love to Lauren. Her response wasn’t what he expected. He thought she’d resist for days. He’d prepared himself to wait and woo, to climb the walls she’d tried to erect between them, but sleep had stolen her reluctance. She had been warm and willing. Would she regret it when she woke the next morning? Blame him?

  She damn well should. He blamed himself. The marks on her face hadn’t started to fade, yet he had forced himself on her like a dog. She was injured, and all he’d been able to think about was burying his cock in her heat. She deserved better.

  A loud thunk preceded the hum of the heater, smelling of dust and memories. When they first started dating, Lauren’s grad school apartment had a similar setup with the same crappy heater and musty carpet, same sweet smelling woman at his side, and the musky scent of sex rising off the sheets. Even now, he couldn’t control his body’s response. Desire warmed his skin, a mix of memory and the soft woman lying on his right arm. Her dark hair washed over his shoulder and down his side like a silken web.

  She wasn’t his usual type. He’d known she was too good for him from the beginning. Too smart and too set on a career path that was a thousand miles out of his league. She was a college professor and he was a grunt. Not in anyone’s estimation did they belong together, but he’d taken one look at her in short shorts, with her long dark curls cascading to her heart-shaped ass, and he’d had to pursue.

  For the first time, fearlessness had had a purpose beyond war. The pursuit of Lauren was accomplished with the exactness of a military exercise. Failure was not an option. The first night they stayed up talking in the diner, between late night coffee and breakfast waffles, she’d blown him away. Smart and sexy with the hint of a Texas drawl that even Dr. Crawford could not eradicate. Through all her brilliance, classes and research and teaching, she’d held tight to her identity. Lauren’s personality matched her big heart and her boundless energy.

  Hell, she called Smythe a carpetbagger and threatened to castrate him. She fought back when men tried to take her. She’d broken a man’s nose. Twice. Ryder grinned into the silent night. His woman was no coward, but he might be. Worry whispered through his mind like madness. Mad Dog had refused to leave his family, and in the end, it had cost all of them their lives. Ryder swore he’d find a way to leave before anything happened to Lauren.

  The alarm on his watched beeped softly. Zero three hundred. Last wakeup call. The light on his watch flickered on and off like a heartbeat. He pressed the button to dim the light that would have woken him if he’d succumbed to sleep. Not that he slept. Not with her tucked into his side. He enjoyed every last second, knowing each one could be the last.

  To avoid lying on her wounded head, she’d settled on her side, her sweet ass pressed into his side. He turned into her and she ground her backside into his groin, naturally seeking the sweet spot where his body curved around hers. Ryder inhaled the smell of her shampoo. Sugar and spice. So damned sweet he went back for another hit, ran his lips along the soft side of her neck. “Baby, wake up.”

  She snuggled closer causing his dick to stir. Ryder scooted back. He was not going to jump her again. He gently shook her shoulders.

  “Ry?” The sleep rough voice grabbed him by the balls.

  He exhaled. “Yeah?”

  “I’m awake.” She grabbed his arm and tucked it between her breasts, where she hugged it close. The other arm was trapped under her neck.

  Ryder closed his eyes to soak in the weight and the scent. The heavy swell of her breast rubbed his skin, making his arm hair stand on end. Every nerve in his body slammed awake. “Last wakeup call, but you still need sleep.” He arched his hips away so he wasn’t pressing against her, leaving him awkwardly hunched. The spicy scent of her perfume tied him in her web. He’d gladly stay there for eternity, bound to her. He’d gladly forget the troubles barreling down on them, but trouble had a way of finding you, no matter how well you hid.

  She curled her body closer until they were snuggled together in a tight ball. “Quit trying to be good.” Lauren took the hand she’d hugged and pressed it over her breast. Her nipple pebbled under his fingers, and the argument in his head disintegrated in the light of new developments. He rubbed the nipple under his palm, using the fabric of her shirt to tease it to a ti
ght peak before moving to the other side. How many nights had he dreamed of holding her in his arms, spooning, enjoying every inch of her sweet ass pressed against him while his hands explored her full breasts? Every single night without her. The cost of keeping her safe.

  Moaning low, Lauren leaned her hips back until she rubbed his erection, creating delicious friction. Reminding him of the way she moaned his name when she came. Damn but he wanted that again. His cock jerked against her bare skin. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  She slid a hand up his thigh. “As long as I don’t lay back on my injury, I’m fine.”

  Not what he’d meant. He didn’t want to hurt her the way he had after Mad Dog’s suicide. Or the way Mad Dog had hurt Maggie.

  As if sensing his uncertainty, Lauren removed her hand from his leg. Instead of moving away, however, she yanked off the nightshirt before turning to face him. She traced a hand along his whiskered jaw. “Now who’s the one thinking too much?”

  “I—” He shook his head to clear the haze her touch induced. “You can’t want this.”

  “You don’t get to decide for me.” Lauren levered up to kiss his throat.

  His Adam’s apple bobbed against her lips before she trailed them lower. Her hands got busy, caressing up and down his sides before moving to his back. The feathery brush of her fingers moved lower to knead his ass. His hips jerked, the response instinctive. Damn, but she knew his triggers. She kissed down his chest, giving low moans of appreciation. The brush of her nipples against his abs acted like a match and tinder, igniting an insatiable flame. He tossed the blankets off. The room was too freaking hot. “Lauren, baby.”

  She glanced up; her dark lashes shielding her eyes.

  He fisted his hands to keep from tossing her onto her back and pounding into her sweet, wet core. “Baby, slow down.”